OVERWEIGHT
Will you stop shouting at me?
BLUE
I didn’t raise my voice. Did I raise my voice?
OVERWEIGHT
I’m not listening.
BLUE
I know you’re not.
OVERWEIGHT
It’s his last day. It could be a peaceful time.
BLUE
And whose fault is it? I’m basically a very peaceful person.
OVERWEIGHT
You?
BLUE
Aren’t I?
OVERWEIGHT
Yes, you are.
BLUE
I’m what?
OVERWEIGHT
A peaceful person. Am I? What do you think?
BLUE
Yes.
OVERWEIGHT
Good. You have to forgive me because I mean well.
BLUE
There then. There, my dear. Shall we let her out?
OVERWEIGHT
No, let’s have some peace.
The QUIET MAN lets himself in through the front door. He is the brother of the overweight man.
QUIET MAN
Gone?
BLUE
He’ll be down in a minute.
QUIET MAN
Drink?
BLUE
You drink too much.
QUIET MAN
Drink?
BLUE
Might as well.
QUIET MAN
Bastard came up on the inside so I cut in front to show him and he nearly drove me off the road.
BLUE
(To OVERWEIGHT.) Go and get him. I want to see him.
OVERWEIGHT
I was about fifteen, there was a dead dog, the body was by the road, and I thought, asleep, no, that’s dead, it was getting squashy, there was a lot of flies, and I thought that’s really dead, and I suddenly thought I could do that, if it really helped my country and what I believe in and the people I love and our way of life which is threatened, if I could take some of those bastards with me I could be really happy to be dead, except I didn’t expect to be happy, I expect to be nothing, but happy to do something that could make me end up dead, I could do that.
The OVERWEIGHT MAN goes by the inside door.
QUIET MAN
You know what he did.
BLUE
I don’t want to talk about that.
QUIET MAN
Nobody talks about that.
BLUE
He always tells that story.
QUIET MAN
Yes, that’s the bit he tells.
Pause.
BLUE
We mustn’t.
QUIET MAN
I know but we have to.
BLUE
He’s just as bad.
QUIET MAN
He’s insane.
BLUE
Oh god, I want you so much.
QUIET MAN
I want you so much.
BLUE
I want you so much too.
A WOMAN WHO BITES, seventies, mother of the overweight man and the quiet man, enters from indoors.
W WHO BITES
Where is he?
BLUE
He’ll be down in a minute.
QUIET MAN
Drink?
BITES
Are we celebrating? Celebrating sending another one off to be killed?
BLUE
Celebrating maybe he’ll kill some of them.
BITES
My darling was completely destroyed. There was nothing left.
BLUE
Yes, don’t get excited.
BITES
They’ve got graves to go to, you stupid child. Killing’s not enough.
The OVERWEIGHT MAN comes back in.
OVERWEIGHT
There’s nothing I inherited except my father’s hair and his lefthandedness. Everything I got I earned. And the government want to take that away. The hero’s coming.
BLUE
I’m going to let her out.
OVERWEIGHT
I said no.
QUIET MAN
Is she shut in her room again?
BLUE
Her parents know what to do, thank you.
A PALE YOUNG MAN, son of the overweight man and the woman in blue, and the YOUNG WOMAN CARRYING A FLOWER enter from indoors. He is wearing military uniform and holding the flower.
BITES
Here we are.
OVERWEIGHT
Have you ever seen a man dead?
QUIET MAN
(Offering.) Drink?
PALE YM
It’s fine because I believe in what we’re doing.
BITES
You’re a good boy.
OVERWEIGHT
His grandfather was a missionary. He gave his life bringing the truth.
FLOWER
I do think it’s right to try to be good.
BLUE
You’re drinking too much.
QUIET MAN
And?
OVERWEIGHT
That’s the most important thing, a clear conscience.
BITES
They’re pus you have to kill with disinfectant. Vermin.
QUIET MAN
Drink?
BLUE
(To FLOWER.) They want to build ugly little houses right in the middle of the view. It’s lovely there. It’s ancient. I won’t take it. I’m not the type.
BITES
(To FLOWER.) Did you know my son was killed? Do you know about it?
FLOWER
Yes, I’m sorry.
OVERWEIGHT
So you’re here to say goodbye.
FLOWER
Yes, I keep crying.
PALE
She’ll forget all about me.
FLOWER
He doesn’t mean that.
PALE
It’s my beautiful country, that’s what it is.
BLUE
Listen. Listen.
OVERWEIGHT
Listen. Look. Blood
They all turn to the tv. We can’t see the screen or hear what’s said. They listen and look, then explode in triumph.
Dead.
BLUE
Yes!
FLOWER
What?
QUIET MAN
They’ve got him.
BITES
He’s dead.
BLUE
Did you hear that?
OVERWEIGHT
Like a dog.
PALE
Yaaay.
They all start a chant, which goes on for some time, continuing while other things are said.
ALL
Zig zig zig, zag zag zag, zig zig zig, zag zag zag…
BITES
Oh god oh god oh god
BLUE
(To PALE.) Specially for you.
OVERWEIGHT
Go go go.
The chant dies down, laughter.
FLOWER
I can’t help feeling
QUIET MAN
This calls for a drink. Shall we let her out?
OVERWEIGHT
Listen!
The OVERWEIGHT MAN goes to the window.
Look! The trees!
The OVERWEIGHT MAN rushes off indoors (to the garden) followed by the WOMAN IN BLUE and the QUIET MAN.
PALE
Can’t help feeling what?
FLOWER
Nothing.
PALE
What?
FLOWER
A bit sorry for him.
PALE
I can. Do you love me?
FLOWER
Yes. Do you love me?
PALE
Yes. That’s good then.
BITES
Where’s everyone gone?
FLOWER
I think people should try to forgive each other.
PALE
We can’t do that.
FLOWER
No, I know.
> PALE
I’ll tell you something. If you love me.
FLOWER
What?
BITES
What are you whispering about?
FLOWER
Tell me.
PALE
I don’t want to do it. I don’t think I can do it.
FLOWER
You can.
PALE
I don’t want to.
The QUIET MAN comes back.
QUIET MAN
False alarm. Want a drink?
PALE
Not now.
FLOWER
Yes, please.
QUIET
(To PALE.) You’ll get drunk a lot if you get the chance.
BITES
There’s my brave boy. Bite.
FLOWER
I’m sorry, I can’t stop crying.
PALE
Zig zig zig.
2.
Another country. A living room. It is identical and the furniture is identical except it’s in different positions.
A MAN WHO BITES HIS NAILS, about forty-five, and a YOUNG WOMAN WITH A CIGARETTE.
YW w CIG
It’s a big cause.
MAN NAlLS
Have you ever seen a man dead?
CIG
Will you stop shouting at me?
NAILS
Did I raise my voice?
CIG
I’m not the one breaking up our marriage.
NAILS
You want it to break up, do you?
CIG
I get tired of it.
NAILS
I do think it’s right to try to be good.
CIG
Do you love me?
NAILS
Yes.
CIG
It’s my beautiful country, that’s what it is.
NAILS
Do you love me?
CIG
What do you think?
NAILS
I want you so much.
CIG
I want you so much too.
NAILS
He’ll be down in a minute.
CIG
I’ve had enough of your brother.
NAILS
He’s insane.
CIG
He’s going to be a hero.
NAILS
You know what he did?
Doorbell. The YOUNG WOMAN WITH A CIGARETTE opens the street door and a DRUNK WOMAN, late forties, her mother, and a WOMAN WITH A LIMP, seventies, her grandmother, come in, embracing her.
DRUNK W
Here we are.
CIG
Come to see him off? He’s in his room.
NAILS
Drink?
DRUNK
Are we celebrating? I am.
WOMAN w LIMP
Did I hear crying? Is she shut in her room again?
CIG
She’s the one with a problem.
DRUNK
Bastard came up on the inside so I cut in front to show him and he nearly drove me off the road. There was a dead dog.
NAILS
You?
DRUNK
No one could blame me.
CIG
Drinking again.
DRUNK
I don’t want to talk about that.
CIG
No, I know.
DRUNK
Guess who’s making a fuss. You drink too much.
LIMP
She’s not crying any more.
CIG
Her parents know what to do, thank you.
A SPEEDY YOUNG MAN, brother of the man who bites his nails, enters from indoors. He is wearing a military uniform, not the same as the pale young man wore in 1.
DRUNK
The hero’s coming.
SPEEDY
YM So you’re here to say goodbye.
DRUNK
Celebrating. You’re a good boy. Maybe he’ll kill some of them.
NAILS
Don’t get excited.
SPEEDY
I’ll kill them all right.
CIG
Killing’s not enough.
SPEEDY
Drink?
DRUNK
Let’s. It’s his last day.
CIG
We keep watch all the time so they can’t get away with anything. You can’t let them think they’ve got you where they want you. They’re vermin.
NAILS
I can’t help feeling…
CIG
What?
NAILS
Nothing. Just let it go.
CIG
I’m not the one that started this. Don’t try and put it on me.
NAILS
I didn’t say that.
CIG
I believe in what we’re doing.
LIMP
Shall we let her out? Shall I get her?
CIG
There’s someone kept calling me names when I was at school, I was about fifteen, and one day I jumped right on her.
SPEEDY
Bastards.
CIG
You have to break their spirit.
SPEEDY
The body was by the road right in the middle of the view and I thought, that’s dead, that’s really dead, it was getting squashy, there was a lot of flies, and I suddenly thought I could do that if it really helped my country, if I could take some of those bastards out.
CIG
I could do that.
NAILS
You want it.
SPEEDY
I’m basically a very peaceful person. But we have to.
CIG
I know.
DRUNK
There’s my brave boy. He is.
SPEEDY
There was nothing left. She was asking for it. She fell down. And before she could get herself sorted out, I stuffed it in her mouth. I don’t expect to be happy. But happy to do something.
NAILS
And that’s the bit he tells. I know what you get up to. You’re a monster.
CIG
He doesn’t mean that.
SPEEDY
I’m what?
CIG
He’s just as bad.
NAILS
Am I?
CIG
Yes, you are. Nobody talks about that.
SPEEDY
A clear conscience?
CIG
A peaceful person. (To NAILS.) You’ve nothing to say.
NAILS
If I did…
SPEEDY
Is it bad?
NAILS
Of course.
SPEEDY
It’s not surprising. Tell me.
NAILS
I don’t think I can.
CIG
Mind you, I’m not saying he’s wrong. It’s fine because…
NAILS
Because I mean well?
DRUNK
What are you whispering about? Do you know they want to build ugly little houses? They’re such beautiful trees too. And the government wants to take that away. Bastards. Everything I earned.
CIG
You’re drinking too much. I’m not listening.
DRUNK
What do you know about it, you stupid child? There’s nothing I inherited except my father’s lefthandedness.
LIMP
And his hair.
DRUNK
Can’t help feeling what… Our way of life. It’s the trees. And what I believe in, which is threatened.
LIMP
Yes, that’s the most important thing.
DRUNK
I keep crying.
LIMP
(Of DRUNK.) Everything’s all right. She’s just calming down.
DRUNK
Bastards. I’ll tell you something. You have to kill.
CIG
Drink, drink, specially for you. You can have it. Get drunk. I’m past caring.
NAILS
Listen.
&nbs
p; CIG
What’s happened?
SPEEDY
Listen. Look. They’ve got him.
They all turn to the tv. We can’t see the screen or hear what’s said. They listen and look then explode in triumph.
Plays 5 Page 6