Step Into the Wind

by Bev Prescott

Zoe sat down in a lawn chair as the number of people dancing multiplied. The two guitar players strummed a peppy tune that made it difficult to sit still. Claire picked up the ukulele resting near the empty guitar cases and joined in.

  A ruddy-faced camp counselor moved between her and her view of Alex dancing. He extended a hand. “I’m Roger. May I have this dance?”

  “Ah, no, thank you.” Zoe answered.

  “Don’t be like that. Everybody else is dancing and having a good time. You can’t sit here all by yourself. Be a sport. Dance with me?”

  “I don’t dance.” She didn’t want him to think she was a weird, reclusive biologist, even though she was. “I’d love to, but I’m terrible at it. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you, or me.”

  He shuffled his feet in a clumsy sort of jig. “You can’t be as bad as me.”

  “After that thing you just did, you might be right,” she said. “But I’m still not going to dance with you.”

  “Maybe not with me.” He pointed and covered his finger with the palm of his other hand so no one but her could see. “Mr. Marcotte over there, he absolutely loves to dance. I guarantee that if he sees you sitting all alone over here, he’s going to ask you. I grew up spending my summers at this camp. Mr. Marcotte doesn’t like to see anyone, particularly a pretty lady, not having a good time.” Roger made a funny face. “I am a lot younger. I mean, he’s a good-looking guy for his age, but…” He put his palms up. “Guess it depends on what your preferences are.”

  Did he just call me a pretty lady? Zoe shook her head. “Pretty” and “lady” weren’t adjectives anyone had ever used to describe her. Cute, tough, and short were common, but never pretty or lady. She wondered what this kid had smoked before he showed up at the dance.

  “Don’t you have a girlfriend you could pester instead of me?” she asked in an amused tone. She considered her options, assuming it might be true that Mr. Marcotte would ask her to dance if he caught her sitting alone. She suspected that young Roger was full of a lot of bull given that he just complimented her.

  “I do have a girlfriend. Unfortunately, she’s back in Boston.” He grinned. “I’m only asking you to dance, not marry me.”

  She decided to call his bluff. Although she’d much prefer to embarrass herself in front of Roger than Daniel Marcotte, she was betting that Roger might be scamming her. “I’m going to have to take my chances with Mr. Marcotte. You’re a bit young for me.”

  “What about me?” Alex’s voice came from behind her, sounding like a spoonful of honey tasted.

  Zoe turned slightly at the waist to see Alex. “Uh… you’re definitely not too young. Not at all.” She squeezed her eyes momentarily shut. Her biologist brain kicked in. It routinely asked questions or made observations at strange moments. Instead of answering the question, she pondered why people instinctively closed their eyes when embarrassed. Was it to think more clearly or to disappear? Either would do right now. Kimball, get a grip. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t know how to dance.”

  Alex came around from behind the chair and took one of her hands. “Everyone can dance, even you. Come on, I’ll show you.”

  Zoe remained rooted where she sat while Alex tugged her arm. What could be worse, looking like a goof in front of Alex, or having to dance with Daniel Marcotte or ruddy-faced Roger?

  Alex leaned down and whispered in her ear, “The music is fast, no one will think we’re gay. At least not you, anyway. They already know I am. Besides, girls dance with girls all the time at the camp.”

  What? Alex smelled intoxicating. Her warm breath on Zoe’s neck melted her into a puddle. Did she just admit to being gay? Zoe peeled herself out of the chair. Was this what having a yin-yang moment felt like? On the one hand, being asked by Alex to dance was the equivalent of an invitation to heaven. On the other, the idea was sheer terror. “Promise you won’t laugh.”

  “I would never,” Alex said. “Laugh, that is. I’m good at keeping a promise.”

  “I might, though,” Roger said. “Have fun. Once Alex proves to you that everyone has moves, maybe I can catch you for a dance later.”

  “Don’t count on it, young Roger. But thanks for asking.” Zoe felt a little like she might throw up from nerves as she followed Alex to a spot in the crowd where they could move.

  Alex took her hands. “All you have to do is hold on to me and move your feet to the music.”

  Until I pass out from being so perfectly close to you. “You make it sound so easy.”

  “That’s because it is. Just move, that’s all you have to do.” Alex squeezed Zoe’s hands tighter.

  The respectable distance that separated their bodies didn’t stifle the heat radiating off Zoe’s body. Unfortunately, her body also had a mind of its own with Alex so near. She wished her palms weren’t suddenly sweaty. She tried to swallow the apparent hairball stuck in her throat.

  The music stopped and the crowd groaned. As much as Zoe loathed the idea of dancing in public, a pang of disappointment poked at her. She took a step farther away from Alex.

  “You’re not off the hook.” Alex lowered her hands but continued to keep Zoe’s fingers entwined with hers. “Claire’s going to play us a song on the ukulele that’s fitting. Think of the kind of music your grandparents listened to, and I’ll bet you know this one.” She bobbed her head as Claire began to strum a little ditty.

  The song sounded familiar. Zoe followed Alex’s lead and nodded a little. She tapped one toe and then the other. Not too much. She didn’t want things to get out of hand and have her end up looking like a complete goober.

  “Do you know the song?” Alex asked.

  “I know I’ve heard it before, but I can’t remember the words.”

  “It’s ‘Has Anybody Seen My Gal?’ Talks about a girl who’s five foot two with eyes of blue.” Alex sang the words as she spun Zoe around. She caught Zoe by the waist when she stumbled. “Sorry.” Alex held her gaze.

  Zoe’s heart raced. She didn’t think she’d stumbled enough to warrant the tight grip Alex had on her. She certainly wasn’t going to complain, though. The sundress Alex wore had a low neckline. Her cheek rested on the bare skin of Alex’s chest above it. The difference in their heights worked in her favor in this regard.

  She regained her footing and reluctantly moved back a step. If their bodies remained pressed together a second more, there was no telling what she would do. God, how nice it would be to put my lips to the softness of her neck. Given that they were surrounded by tons of people, including Alex’s father and a bunch of kids, she needed to keep her desires in check.

  “Look at you two having such a nice time.” Sally came to stand next to Zoe and Alex as Claire finished playing. She held a small leather instrument case in her arms.

  Zoe let Alex go. “Hi, Sally.” Her voice cracked. She hoped she didn’t look like she felt, which was like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

  “Hello to you, my dears. It’s good to see Alex playing like old times. Speaking of, I was hoping you’d play something on your old ukulele for us.” Sally held the case out to Alex. “You do still play, right?”

  Alex’s expression changed to the damned sad mask Zoe loathed. “Sometimes.”

  “For old time’s sake.” Claire joined the conversation.

  Alex took the case and ran a hand over its length. The leather was frayed along the seams stitching it together. “I haven’t opened this since Jake died.” The corners of her eyes moistened.

  Zoe wondered whether this Jake was the source of Alex’s grief. He must have been someone she loved deeply. The depth of her affection and sadness was written all over her face at his mention.

  Alex crouched down and laid the case on the ground. She undid the silver metal clasps and opened it. A finely polished, honey-colored ukulele lay inside. She took out the instrument, cradled it, and lightly brushed the strings with her thumb.

  “What do you say?” Sally asked.

  By now, the people from town who o
bviously knew Alex and her history had gathered around. They shushed the kids. A story was written in the lines of their faces, a sad story that gripped them all, Zoe thought.

  Alex didn’t make eye contact with anyone. Even though her body was present, her mind appeared to be someplace else. “Okay,” she said, her voice heavy with emotion. She stood and seemed to notice the kids, who remained obviously untouched by whatever history the adults were reliving. They smiled and giggled in anticipation of more music. She warmed and sounded more upbeat when she asked the kids, “Anybody ever heard of ‘Hey, Soul Sister’?”

  Zoe suspected Alex was trying to shake off what had pulled her down. She didn’t dance much, but she still loved music. Train’s hit song was one of her favorites. “I’ve heard of it,” she said. “If I know that song, you kids must too. Right?”

  “Yeah!” a group of children bellowed in unison.

  One of them yelled, “That’s my favorite video on TV!”

  Zoe caught the subtle smile that flashed across Alex’s face. The same feeling that came from being in the treetops washed over her. In that moment, a thread of something she couldn’t articulate connected her to Alex. She found herself wanting to share the treetops with her and protect her like she protected innocent wildlife from the harm done by human destructiveness.

  Alex tuned the ukulele and started to play.

  The kids danced around and Zoe joined them, uninhibited, without caring what anyone thought. Not a single person stood still. The kids giggled when they sang the words to the song.

  Zoe didn’t care anymore if she moved like a goof. Alex was making music, and she couldn’t keep herself from moving to the sound of it. She watched Alex play. Alex had slipped seamlessly into a different place while she strummed the ukulele. She wondered where and whether it was a place Alex used to be happy in.

  When Alex finished, she sat down on a log near the fire and stared into the flames.

  None of the adults spoke. It seemed that ghosts lingered among them, ghosts from an earlier time only they could see.

  Sally put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and asked, “Are you all right, my darling?”

  Alex put her hand over Sally’s. “I need to play a certain song for Jake.”

  “What’s that?” Sally asked.

  “‘I’ll See You in My Dreams.’”

  Sally caressed Alex’s cheek. “He’ll always be in all of our dreams.” She lowered her head.

  Before she did, Zoe saw her lips quiver. The pain of loss didn’t belong only to Alex. People around them stood still like stone. Something terrible had happened to this town, and the awful wound had yet to heal. When Alex started to strum, not a person moved.

  Zoe studied Alex. Pain and love played across her face as the song came from her heart through her fingertips, manifested into the sound of the ukulele. She yearned to know the story behind this song, if only to be closer to Alex and share the burden she carried.

  A man’s deep, rich voice blended with Alex’s melody. The crowd loosened its ranks as Daniel Marcotte moved forward. The same pain etched on Alex’s face was etched on his. A tear ran down Alex’s cheek when he sang the words to the song. He cried too. Something heavy weighed on each of them. Their bodies sagged under its bulk.

  Alex’s fingers stopped moving when a sob escaped her throat. She rose to her feet and handed the ukulele to her father. “I died that day too. Why can’t you see that?” she asked in a voice racked with anguish.

  Daniel took the ukulele in one hand and reached for her with the other. Alex bolted from him toward the beach.

  Zoe’s feet moved before her brain realized it. She gained on Alex. “Wait.”

  Alex stopped. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” Zoe asked.

  “I’m a disaster.” Alex covered her face with her hands.

  Zoe pulled the hands away. “What on earth are you talking about? Why say such a thing?”

  Alex’s face was streaked with tears. “I don’t know how to be normal anymore.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “I can’t.”

  Zoe put her arms around the suffering woman. She’d give anything to be able to think of something comforting to say. Instead, she did the only thing that felt right. She held Alex tightly. “I’ll walk with you away from here to wherever you want to go.”

  Alex collapsed into Zoe’s embrace. She tried to say something, but the words tangled in tears.

  Zoe held her tighter. “Can I ask who Jake was?”

  Several moments passed. Alex stepped back and wiped her eyes. “My twin brother. He drowned in the lake when we were only fifteen.”

  “Oh, Alex.” Zoe let out a breath. “I’m so sorry.”

  “All I want to do is disappear.” Alex started to walk away.

  Zoe caught up and grabbed an elbow. “Please don’t.” She wasn’t usually an affectionate person. She kept a respectable distance from most people. Alex made things different. She couldn’t help wanting to touch her, to keep her safe, and not let her be sad anymore.

  Alex turned to face her, wiping the tears welling in her eyes. “Will you walk with me?”

  “Wherever you want to go.”

  Alex led the way down the beach until they came to a path that turned back onto the dirt road that paralleled the lake. They walked in silence for miles along the road until coming to Bates Road, which hooked around in the direction of the Marcotte house.

  Zoe didn’t mind the silence. What mattered was whether she could, in some way, carry part of Alex’s burden for her even if it meant doing so without words.

  When they approached the well-kept, two-story saltbox house several hours later, the only light came from the porch. It angered Zoe that Daniel obviously hadn’t found it important enough to wait up for his daughter. On the top step of the porch was a stack of No Trespassing signs.

  Alex reached for the sticky note attached to them and read it. “I can’t believe this.” She handed the note to Zoe.

  Zoe read the single sentence on the note that said simply, “You may close the island.”

  Alex sat down and patted the top step. “He’s decided to protect the eagles after all.”

  “I’m so relieved. This is going to go a long way toward helping the eaglets be okay.” Zoe joined her, close enough for their shoulders to touch. When Alex leaned into her in response, she took one of Alex’s hands in her own. “What about you, though? You sure you don’t want to talk about your brother or what upset you tonight?”

  “I wouldn’t know where to start. Besides, it hurts too much to think about it.” Alex stared at the ground. “Sometimes, it feels like what happened to Jake has me by the ankles and is pulling me under. I’m trying so hard to keep my head above water.”

  “I’ll give you a hand to help, if you’ll let me.”

  Alex turned her hand palm up and laced her fingers with Zoe’s. “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met.” With her free hand, she reached over and caressed Zoe’s cheek.” Trust me, though, it’s too heavy. I don’t want to burden you with it.”

  Concern flooded Zoe. “I care about you.” Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, and her stomach churned as she argued with herself over whether to kiss Alex or not. The act of considering the matter set the ball in motion. Inertia moved her against her better judgment. She turned her body to face Alex and put a hand to the side of Alex’s face.

  Alex complied with Zoe’s gentle pressure to turn her head so they faced each other.

  Zoe swallowed back nervousness and touched her lips to Alex’s, letting it happen before she could stop herself.

  Alex put a hand to the back of Zoe’s head and parted her lips so that their tongues came together in a long, slow kiss.

  Heat flared through Zoe’s body, and her limbs tingled. She rubbed Alex’s back and ached to caress every inch of her body. She savored the feel and taste of her.

  Alex pulled back and gazed at her with an unreadable exp
ression.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I kissed you,” Zoe said.

  “I wanted you to kiss me the second I saw you tonight.” Alex sighed when she filled her fingers with Zoe’s hair. “You make me feel safe.”

  Zoe leaned into Alex and embraced her. The sound of heavy footsteps coming down the stairs on the other side of the front door tore them apart.

  The door swung open. Daniel stood in the doorway. “I see that you’ve found the No Trespassing signs, Alex.” He gave Zoe a nasty look. “There are buoys in the barn as well. You’ll need them if you plan to cordon off the island. You should set them in the morning before I change my mind about the whole thing. Now that I know you’re home, I’m going to bed.” He turned and slammed the door behind him.

  Zoe jumped at the bang. A thick, impenetrable wall shot up between her and Alex when the door shut. She could feel the barrier as surely as the wooden step beneath her backside.

  Alex stood. “Thank you for walking me home tonight. I’ll be happy to help with the signs and buoys tomorrow, but only after my run in the morning. If that’s too late, I can get one of the camp’s maintenance men to help instead.”

  “No. I’d rather spend the time with you,” Zoe said when she stood.

  “Okay, but we’ll have to work fast. I have lots of things to do with Claire tomorrow for the camp. I’ll meet you in the morning down by the beach, around seven.” Alex took several steps to the door, stopped at the landing, and turned. “Good night, Zoe. Again, thank you for walking with me.” She disappeared inside the house.

  Zoe felt her heart go with her. Good night.

  Chapter 15

  Early the next morning, Zoe laid her kayak paddle across the cockpit of her boat. As she floated near shore waiting for Alex, she leaned against the backrest, lifted her face to the warm sun, and searched the blue sky for any sign of the eagles.

  Fatigue from lack of sleep made her limbs heavy. She’d been up all night worrying about Alex and remembering the feel of her lips on Alex’s when she’d kissed her. She never expected she’d fall for someone so quickly. It was only a kiss, Kimball.