In Pursuit of Happiness

by Freya Kennedy

  ‘Erin, how’s things?’ Jo said, plastering a smile on her face as if everything was completely normal.

  ‘Well, Jo, since you asked, I’m about ready to cancel today’s lunch menu as no one seems to be able to keep up with basic prep for tonight’s event while also cooking the same damn recipes they cook every lunchtime,’ Erin barked, her voice raised more than enough to make sure her staff heard every word.

  Jo watched as each of the other three working in the kitchen kept their heads down as if afraid to so much as breathe. It was far from the working atmosphere Noah and she wanted for the pub, and for the most part The Ivy Inn was run with minimal friction. Both she and Noah had spent a lot of time making sure they had staff they could trust and who happened to be cool people to work with. Any niggles were dealt with as soon as they arose, and Jo wanted this niggle ironed out quickly.

  ‘Erin, your staff know what they’re doing. Trust them. And lunch service is over at half two, which gives you plenty of time to get everything sorted for tonight’s dinner. Did you get the vegan menu sorted with the high-maintenance happy couple?’

  ‘Of course I did,’ Erin sighed. ‘But it would all be much easier if people just listened to what I asked them to do!’

  Jo took a deep breath. Erin was not making this easier for her. ‘Can I help out here for a bit? Noah won’t mind. I’ll work with you on some of the prep for tonight and the others can get on with lunch. Would that help?’ Jo would never claim to be gifted in the kitchen but she knew enough of her flatmate’s high standards to be able to chop veg and mix up a stock without too much instruction.

  Erin huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair which had escaped from her chef’s hat away from her face. ‘No. I’m fine. We’re fine. They’ve done a lot.’

  Jo raised her eyebrows.

  ‘They’re a good team,’ Erin said, and if Jo wasn’t mistaken, her friend was becoming a little emotional. ‘It’s just a bit stressful and, well…’

  The kitchen staff looked up, as if they had emotional breakdown radars, and Jo was more than a little confused. Erin was lovely and loving, but when it came to work, she had a strict ‘show no weakness’ policy.

  ‘Erin, do you want to take a couple of minutes out? C’mon. Come and get a breath of air with me?’ She took Erin by the arm and was even more surprised to find her friend didn’t fight her off, and she led her out of the kitchen.

  Just as they reached the door, Erin stopped and called to her staff, ‘You are a good team, you know. I have every faith in you.’ Or at least Jo thought that was what she said, because the last few words came out as a jumbled, half-sobbed mess.

  Jo led her to the office, where Paddy immediately ran over to say hello and promptly ran away again as soon as he copped out that Erin was upset.

  ‘Right. What’s really going on, because there is no way this is about a vegan dinner or how much preps the lads have done for lunch. Everything looks very much under control in there.’

  Erin sat down, and pulled her chef’s hat off, her dark brown curls escaping from under her hair net. Her face, Jo noted, was still red and her blue eyes were now red-rimmed too.

  Jo hunkered down in front of her and took her hands. ‘You’re kind of scaring me now, Erin. What is it?’

  Erin shook her head. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’m being an asshole.’

  ‘Just tell me what’s wrong,’ Jo pleaded.

  ‘Don’t hate me,’ Erin said. ‘I’ve tried to tell you, but I didn’t know how, but I can’t leave it any longer.’

  Jo ran through every possible scenario in her head. Well, all the really, really bad ones anyway. Was her best friend dying? Going to jail? Had she robbed Jo of all her worldly goods to feed a drug/gambling/shopping addiction? ‘Okay,’ she began, ‘well, there’s nothing you could do to make me hate you, outside of hooking up with Tom Hardy. You know that’s an instant friendship killer.’ Jo tried to keep her voice light, but she was panicked that Erin was about to drop a bombshell.

  Erin took a couple of deep breaths, then looked up and directly at Jo. ‘You know I love you and you are my best friend. You know we have had the best times together and I couldn’t ask for a better housemate.’

  ‘I love you too,’ Jo muttered, her friend’s words having done nothing to calm her.

  ‘You see, Aaron and I are getting pretty serious. And… well, he wants me to move in with him. And I do want to. I really love him. But I don’t want to let you down and I know you can’t afford the flat on your own, but you’ve been spending more and more time with your mum and Clara and I…’

  ‘Oh,’ Jo said as she tried to wrap her head around what Erin had told her. She was delighted, of course, that her friend had found love. She liked Aaron. He was a nice person and he treated Erin very well indeed. But she had been looking forward to moving back to their girly pad when her dad got home and resuming their well-oiled living arrangement. She liked her flat. Her room. Her life.

  ‘He asked me a few weeks ago and I know if you can’t keep the flat on, then maybe we need to give notice, or I could help you find somewhere new, or make some arrangement and I hate that I’m letting you down, but Aaron needs a decision and it’s causing a little bit of tension between us and—’

  Jo raised her hand. ‘It’s okay, Erin. Honestly. I’m happy for you. Really happy for you. You deserve this. You deserve to be happy. I’ll work something out. Honestly, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine and of course I don’t hate you for it. I love you.’ She pulled Erin into a big hug and felt her friend shudder with emotion. ‘Now, deep breath. It’s okay. We’re okay. I promise.’

  Internally, though, Jo knew she wasn’t okay. She’d not felt jealous of Erin and Aaron and their relationship before but now, as much as she hated herself for feeling this way, it assaulted her.

  She was so not okay that, to her surprise and shame, she found herself having a little cry when Erin left. What was she going to do now? Erin was right. There was no way she would be able to afford the flat on her own. She’d either have to find somewhere else – somewhere nowhere near as nice and roomy – or get another person to share with. That was an even worse thought. While Jo was a very sociable person and was often at the certain of the craic at The Ivy Inn, she kept her circle tight. There were very few people who knew the real her and fewer still she’d want to see her in her pink fluffy onesie, eating Rice Krispies to get through a Sunday hangover.

  That was before she even started unpacking the whole almost-thirty-and-single side of things. It hadn’t bothered her all that much before – she kept herself busy enough that she didn’t have time to miss having a significant other – but with Erin now on the brink of settling down with Aaron, and Noah and Libby launching into wedding plans with abandon, she started to feel as if she was being left behind.

  She took in deep breaths and willed herself not to cry and she was almost, almost successful. That is until Noah walked back into the office, took one look at her and asked if she was okay.

  Through a bout of very unattractive tears and snot, Jo sobbed something about being lonely and possibly homeless and then very quickly tried to compose herself again.

  Noah, of course, pulled her into a big hug and told her he had a spare room and not to worry and everything would work out, and Jo felt marginally better – and more than a little bit silly.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’m okay. Honest.’

  ‘And Erin? Because I just saw her and her eyes have that distinct just-had-a-cry look about them too?’

  ‘She thought I’d be mad with her for moving out. Which I’m not, but it’s still a pain in the ass. And I don’t really feel sorry for myself but… sometimes…’

  ‘Sometimes what?’ Noah asked.

  ‘Never mind,’ she said with a shake of her head. Jo knew this was not a conversation to be had just as the bar was opening on a busy Friday lunchtime. It was the kind of conversation you had after a few glasses of wine in the wee small hours.

 
; ‘Well, if you’re sure you don’t want to talk,’ he said, sounding completely unconvinced. ‘Libby is worried about you too, you know.’

  ‘Libby is worried about me? You’re worried about me? What?’ Jo was more than a little confused. ‘You’ve been talking about me?’

  ‘We both love you, you know that,’ Noah said, his voice soft. ‘And no, not really talking about you. Not in a bad way. We’re just concerned about you. You’ve seemed to be a little off kilter lately. Not so much that everyone else would notice, but I grew up with you, remember? You became my sister when I needed someone on my side and I love you for it. So, of course, I’m going to be worried when you don’t seem like your usual happy self.’

  Jo wondered if she had been giving out great big discontented vibes all this time. She didn’t think she had been. She’d been happy. Well, not so much happy as, well, not sad. Perhaps she could be happier, she mused, but she absolutely did not want anyone worrying about her. Especially not Noah and Libby.

  ‘Well, you’ve no need to be worried,’ she said, and plastered a smile on her face. ‘Honest. I’m fine. We all have little slumps and maybe I need a holiday or something.’

  Noah raised an eyebrow, and kept her gaze.

  Damn it, she knew he could read her like a book.

  ‘And maybe turning thirty is making me reassess some things. I’m trying to figure out what I want from life, but this is not the time and place for this conversation. We have work to do. Have you picked up the champagne order for tonight?’

  ‘Shit,’ Noah said. ‘I knew there was something. Okay. I’m on it. I won’t be long.’

  With that, he was gone and Jo felt as if she could breathe again, but there was no denying there was now a growing sense of unease gnawing at her. Everything was changing, and maybe this was the perfect chance for her to change too.

  4

  My Best Friend’s Wedding

  By seven in the evening, everything was fully prepared for the engagement dinner. The function room upstairs in the bar had been transformed into a romantic wonderland. Fairy lights hung from the exposed beams. The lighting was soft, and the candles were ready to be lit on each table and on the wall sconces. It wasn’t a space they used very often, but they hoped to use it more. Indeed, Noah and Libby wanted to hold their own wedding reception there. It was just the right size for an intimate family wedding, and as Jo made the final checks to the room, she could see how it would make the perfect venue.

  Erin was now relaxed and felt in control, and Noah had set up a table to greet the guests with glasses of champagne, served into vintage champagne saucers that he had sourced. All Jo had to do was make sure the happy couple-to-be were indeed happy, and get all their guests sitting down to dinner and then she was free to go home. She was more than pleased to be leaving before they all started drinking. Jo wasn’t sure that she had the patience for that. All day, Noah’s words had nipped at her. That she had seemed off kilter. The strength of her reaction to Erin’s news had also troubled her. What she wanted more than anything was just to get out into the fresh air and try to figure out what was going on in her head.

  Paddy would be only too willing to be her companion on a long walk along the walkway at the banks of the River Foyle and it was the perfect night for it. The sun had just started to set and she knew it would be lighting up the ripples of the river as it wove its way out to sea. It was the kind of evening when the walkway would be busy with evening strollers all enjoying the spring sunshine. It was bound to lift her mood. It usually did.

  So when she left, just after eight, the happy couple looking impressed, she set out along the river and tried her best to talk through her issues with Paddy. But while he was a great listener, he wasn’t so great with advice. Instead he’d just look at her with his sad doggy eyes and occasionally proffer her his paw to shake. It was a great comfort, of course, but it didn’t lift her mood as much as she hoped. She wondered whether some chocolate would help. Maybe she had PMT and chocolate was the exact cure she needed for her ills. So, as she walked Paddy back to the bar, she decided to stop off at Harry’s Shop – a small corner shop that had been a feature on Ivy Lane for decades.

  She tied Paddy up outside, and pushed open the door to see Harry sitting behind the counter. A broad smile broke across his face.

  ‘Harry,’ Jo said. ‘What are you doing working at this time? You’re supposed to finish at teatime!’

  Well past retirement age, Harry was determined to work in the shop for as long as possible. However, after he scared his friends on Ivy Lane senseless by having a heart attack, right there behind the counter the previous summer, they had badgered him into slowing down and hiring help.

  He smiled. ‘Lucy is running a bit late. So I’m staying on. And, sure, it’s quiet anyway. I just tell people where to find stuff and they do it. They do most of the work for me. I might be old, and I might have a dodgy heart, but even I’m capable of using a till without doing myself an injury.’

  Jo knew better than to argue with Harry. His health scare hadn’t cowed him one bit and his stubbornness was legendary.

  ‘You know we just worry about you, Harry,’ she said, as she scanned the shelves of chocolate and sweets.

  ‘I know you do. And I appreciate you for it, but there is no need. Besides, I have some very exciting news,’ Harry said.

  Jo looked up from the Crunchies and Flakes and noticed that the smile on Harry’s face was as broad as she’d ever seen it. ‘Well, are you going to tell me or just sit there grinning?’ she asked him.

  ‘My grandson Lorcan’s coming to visit! He’s going to stay for a month or two.’

  Much had been said about Harry’s solitary grandson in the past. He was, she thought, in his mid-twenties, lived in England and, from what Jo could tell, behaved like a spoiled teenager. Harry had talked about his love of computer games and his collection of Star Wars toys with incredible fondness as if Lorcan were a schoolboy and not a grown man. But what had turned Jo against him most was that he hadn’t come to see Harry when he’d had his heart attack.

  Of course she would never have said to Harry that she didn’t think much of his beloved grandson, but her opinion was quite clear-cut.

  ‘That’s lovely news,’ she said, with a fake smile plastered on her face. ‘And he’s staying for so long? That will be nice for you. Is he thinking of moving here then?’

  Harry shrugged. ‘I don’t know, to be honest. I just know he’s had a relationship break-up and wants to get away for a bit, so it seems natural that he comes here.’

  ‘Does he not have a job over there that would miss him?’ Jo asked, and immediately regretted it. She didn’t want Harry to think she was judging Lorcan, even if she was.

  Luckily, Harry just seemed to be happy to have any excuse to talk more about him. ‘I think they’re keeping his job open for him. He’s taking one of them, what’s the word…?’

  ‘Sabbatical?’ Jo suggested and Harry looked at her as if he was hearing the word for the first time.

  ‘Nope. I don’t think that’s it. But it’s like an unpaid holiday thing.’

  Jo nodded with a smile. ‘Well, it will be lovely for you to see him,’ she said.

  ‘It will. He might even work a few shifts for me. Maybe he’ll get a thirst for running a shop? I’m not getting younger, you know.’

  ‘We do try to tell you that, Harry,’ she replied. ‘So when is he coming over?’

  ‘I’m just waiting to get details of his flight. But soon I think.’

  ‘Well, I’m happy for you,’ she said and she meant it. It was nice to see Harry so excited about something. She only hoped that Lorcan would not be as feckless in real life as he appeared to be from what she knew of him so far.

  5

  Who’s That Girl?

  Friday night was the night on which the Campbell family watched Clara’s favourite film of all time, The Princess Bride. Clara was always allowed to stay up just a little bit later, but Jo was much later home than
she had intended to be and Buttercup and Westley had already ridden off into the sunset together by the time she got in. Clara had been carried up to bed, her own Buttercup under her arm, and the dinner that her mum had prepared for Jo had dried to a cinder in the oven.

  Although she felt bad for even thinking it, Jo was glad, for once, that she had missed bedtime with Clara. She’d make it up to her later, of course. But all she wanted in that moment was to take the family-sized bag of Maltesers she had bought in Harry’s shop, the bottle of wine she’d brought home from the pub and escape to soak in the bath for an hour.

  ‘Tough day?’ her mum asked, as she carried a load of washing into the kitchen to put in the machine.

  ‘Meh,’ she replied and shrugged. ‘I’ve had better, but I’ve had worse. Erin’s moving in with Aaron. So I’ve a tough decision to make about the flat.’

  ‘There’s always a bed for you here,’ her mother replied.

  ‘Ach, I know, Mum, and that’s good to know, but much as I’ve loved being here with you and Clara, once Dad is back, you will want your space, and it’s not exactly a good life plan for a twenty-nine-year-old to move back home permanently.’

  ‘Clara would love it,’ her mum said with a wry smile.

  ‘And I love spending time with her, but God… Mum, have you ever felt as if your life was just on hold? Everyone else is chasing their dreams and getting hooked up and married, and I’m wondering whether to move back in with my parents and six-year-old sister?’ Jo sighed.

  ‘You make a good point. But you’ve chased your dreams. You’ve travelled, and you have the business with Noah?’