A Heart This Big

by Cheyenne Blue

  Nina matched her grin. “Naima’s doing great. So are you, Phoe. You’re the best. But…maybe you shouldn’t do this by yourself right now.”

  Phoebe’s lips tightened. “Why? Because I’m not old enough? Not a responsible adult?” The sneer instantly wiped out Phoe’s cheerful mood. “You never used to be like this.”

  “Things have changed now. You know that.”

  Phoe ducked her head, but not before Nina saw her trembling lower lip. “But that’s it. They shouldn’t have to change. Aren’t we trying to show that all this is normal, that I am a responsible person? If I stop doing this, then they’ve won. That shows it wasn’t the right thing to do.” She waited until Naima faced the front again. “C’mon, Naima. Feet back in the stirrups and let’s go back to the barn. D’you want to try a trot on the way back?”

  Phoe led Jellybean away.

  Naima’s excited chatter drifted back to Nina. She bit her lip. Phoe was right. But what had been so ordinary before now felt perilous for their future. Nina kicked a rock. Bloody claim. Bloody lawsuits. Bloody lawyers. And damn Billy for getting hurt and sending their lives into a tailspin. She cut across the paddock to the driveway and ducked under the fence, too late seeing the balding man standing in the shade of a tree.

  She switched direction and marched up to him. “I’ve told you before: you’re not welcome here. Please leave.”

  Jon Wakefield smiled. If you didn’t know the man and what he represented, you’d be charmed. It was a pleasant smile, genial, sincere. Or so it appeared. Nina had been taken in once long ago. Never again.

  “Your sign says visitors welcome.”

  “Visitors. Not developers. Please leave.”

  Wakefield shrugged. “I’m just seeing how you’re going. Everything all right here?”

  “Gangbusters. Why wouldn’t it be?”

  Wakefield wasn’t wearing his snazzy suit today. Instead, he wore neatly pressed casual pants and a pale polo shirt. Uncharitably, Nina hoped they’d be ruined by the red dust.

  “Heard there was a little problem with the kid who was hurt the last time I saw you. The one taken away in an ambulance.”

  “Billy’s fine.” Nina turned away. “Now, leave before I have you thrown out.”

  “Sure.” Wakefield’s voice was as smooth and polished as if he’d just accepted a dinner invitation. “I’m going. Just remember, my offer to purchase is still open should you find you need to sell.”

  She gave him a tight smile that threatened to crack her face. “You were leaving, I believe.”

  “See you again soon, Nina.” Wakefield moved out into the sunshine and sauntered down the drive to the road.

  Damn. Why the hell did Jon Wakefield always appear at the wrong moment? The man had a nose for trouble. But he was wasting his time with her. She clenched her fists, watching as Wakefield exited through the gate and got into his shiny car.

  Nina would never sell. Oh, how she hoped that was true. But if the worst-case scenario happened, she would never sell to him.

  Or so she hoped.

  Chapter 10

  “Are you going?” Grizz ambled into Leigh’s office, coffee mug in hand. “Thought I might go along.”

  “Going where?” Leigh looked up from her file.

  “Check your email for one headed Christmas at Banksia Farm. If I’ve got one, you must have too.”

  Leigh found the email Grizz had mentioned.

  Join the supporters and friends of Banksia Farm for the annual Christmas party. Fun for all the family. Santa will arrive by pony during the afternoon.

  She glanced at Grizz. “It sounds as if it’s aimed at the kids.”

  “I’m sure it is. But they’ll need adults to assist. It’s nice of Nina to invite me, so I thought I’d go. Besides, I haven’t been out there yet.”

  “You’ll enjoy it.”

  “Maybe I’ll get to ride a pony.” Grizz took a huge slurp of coffee.

  “Try not to fall off. You’d have a major conflict of interest if you got hurt.”

  “Only joking. I’m sure the ponies would be too small for me. Unless they’ve got one of those huge animals that pulls beer wagons. It’s next Saturday. I’ll go and reply right now. Hope I see you there.”

  Leigh stared absently at her screen. Should she go? If she was to continue volunteering, then, yes, it was something she should do. Wanted to do. And she would see Nina again. Warmth unfurled in her stomach and crept up her chest. Just the thought of Nina did that to her. Nina with her weird clothes and precarious position in life.

  Heat still buzzed in her blood. Nina, not Meredith, made her feel like this. Her date with Meredith had gone well. They’d had a cool and collected dinner at a high-end restaurant. The conversation had been about mutual colleagues and the Sydney law world. They’d shared a taxi afterwards, and Leigh had declined Meredith’s carefully worded invitation to come up to her penthouse for coffee, citing work she had to do the next day. It had been an excuse, and if Meredith had picked it as such, then she’d been too polite to call Leigh on it.

  Meredith fitted into Leigh’s world. Meredith with glossy hair, immaculate presentation, and a rake-thin body. She hadn’t called to suggest a second date, and Leigh had been quietly relieved. It saved her the awkwardness of declining—at least for now.

  Leigh left her desk and went over to the window. There was Sydney: the opera house, the harbour bridge, the harbour with its blue water and scudding yachts. That was Meredith’s world—and her own. She tried to picture Nina at the restaurant where she and Meredith had eaten. Nina would be awkward, worried about her clothes and worried about the cost.

  She made up her mind: she would go to the Christmas party. It would be good PR. And, after all, she was still a volunteer. She dashed off a quick RSVP before she could change her mind.

  Leigh stood in the barn next to Grizz. It seemed as if everyone with any connection to Banksia Farm was there: volunteers, parents, and, of course, a milling mass of excited children. The first to greet Leigh when she arrived was Edwina, who ran up to pat Leigh gently on the tummy and to ask if she had a baby in there yet.

  Leigh was glad Grizz hadn’t heard that particular exchange.

  “Here comes Santa, kids!” Nina said.

  From Nina’s perch on a hay bale, she waved an arm towards the barn door as a red-clad figure with a slightly askew bushy, white beard rode into the barn on Mr Petey. The pony had two huge sacks over his flanks. Santa rode him in a large circle around the barn as Nina directed all the kids to gather in the middle.

  Santa reined to a halt. “Who’s been good this year?”

  There were a few shouts of “Me!” but many of the children stared wide-eyed at Santa.

  “Only the good children get presents,” Santa said. “Who’s been good?”

  “Me!” Every child in the barn screamed the word.

  “Let’s see.” Santa dismounted and handed Mr Petey’s reins to Kiren. Santa—who sounded very like Ahmed—reached into one of the sacks. “Rufus. Is there a Rufus here?”

  An excited little boy ran up and was given a present.

  “This is great.” Grizz, dressed in her customary black, turned to Leigh. “You didn’t tell me what a wonderful place this is.”

  Nina joined them. “Would you like a volunteer form?”

  “I’d love it, but realistically, I wouldn’t be able to come on a regular basis. I’ll keep it as an occasional treat.” Grizz laughed along with everyone else as Santa called Mr Petey’s name and presented the pony with a carrot. “Leigh might be back, though.”

  Had she mentioned to Grizz that she was thinking of returning? Leigh couldn’t remember. But Grizz’s certainty made her hesitate.

  “I’m not sure when I can come next,” she said. “Maybe next Tuesday.”

  Nina arched an eyebrow. “That’s Christmas Day. No volu
nteers needed. Phoe and I take care of it.”

  “It slipped my mind,” Leigh said.

  Grizz cocked her head. “I never asked what you’re doing for Christmas this year, seeing as your parents are away.”

  “I’m planning a quiet day at home,” Leigh said.

  “Lucky you. If you decide you want chaos and noise, you can come to ours. Bryan’s decided we’re hosting orphan’s Christmas this year. So far there’s about thirty people coming.”

  Leigh grinned. “Thanks, but no thanks. I meant it when I said I’d like a quiet one.”

  “But alone?” Grizz’s brow pleated. “At Christmas?”

  “It’s a day like any other. You of all people know that, Ms Agnostic.” Defensiveness had crept into her voice despite her best effort for it to remain even. There were places she could go, of course, but none appealed. Christmas with her parents was a duty, not a pleasure, and with them away, she was genuinely looking forward to the time alone.

  “Sure thing, boss.” Grizz gestured to Santa as Phoebe slunk up to collect her present. “Nice to see she’s not too old for this.”

  “She thinks she is, but I put her name in anyway.” Nina snapped a picture with her phone, then turned to Leigh. “You can come here for Christmas if you’d like. It’ll just be me and Phoe. And two ponies, a cow, five goats, a cat, and a flock of chickens. They don’t eat dinner with us, though.”

  “Thanks. I’ll let you know.” Leigh smiled her professional smile. It was a nice thought of Nina’s—no doubt she’d felt obliged after Grizz’s comments. Leigh wouldn’t go, of course, even though the invitation seemed a hundred times more appealing than the one to Grizz’s orphan’s Christmas.

  Presents all handed out, Santa mounted Mr Petey and urged the pony into a ragged canter, once around the barn and then out the door.

  Grizz moved away to talk to Kiren. A small group of parents and children waited, obviously wanting a word with Nina. Leigh took a step away.

  Nina touched Leigh’s arm briefly. “I meant it. Christmas. You’d be very welcome.” Her eyes were warm, and fine lines crinkled the edges as she smiled.

  “Thank you. I’ll think about it.” The invitation was unexpected and seemed too personal. Christmas was family time after all. If she were to accept, what message would she be sending? “What about Phoebe? Won’t she want to spend the day alone with you?”

  “She’d probably rather spend it at Grizz’s orphan’s Christmas, to be honest. We sometimes have friends join us. Kiren came for a couple of years after her marriage broke up.”

  It was impossible not to react to Nina’s openness. Suddenly, that quiet day with a book and a glass of fine red wine didn’t seem half as appealing. But she needed to consider the invitation carefully. There was a fine line with lawyer-client relationships that she couldn’t cross. Volunteering was encouraged. Friendship was acceptable if that was all it was. Leigh was glad Nina had mentioned Kiren had come in the past. That made it more of a general invitation. That should be fine. “Can you take a definite maybe?”

  “That’ll work. Just let me know by Christmas Eve.”

  It was late in the afternoon before Leigh returned to her car. The day had been an unexpected pleasure. Seeing the kids enjoy Santa wasn’t something she would have thought of as enjoyable before now. Whenever she saw families queuing up to see Santa in a shopping centre, she took a longer way around to avoid the noise. Maybe it was that the screams of delight were less intrusive in the airy barn than in an echoing shopping centre, or maybe the kids who came to the farm were better behaved. While there had been noise and chaos and a few tears, there had been no ear-splitting shrieks or tantrums.

  It wasn’t as if Leigh disliked children. They just seldom intersected her orbit. Until lately. Until Banksia Farm, Dare to Be Different, the Barn Kids—and Phoebe. Luckily, Phoebe seemed more comfortable around her now.

  For a moment, Leigh wondered if Meredith wanted children someday. The subject hadn’t come up during their date—indeed, why would it?—but Leigh somehow thought they were a low priority for Meredith. And no one should have kids if they didn’t want them. Grizz was a shining example of the happily child-free.

  “Leigh, wait.”

  The sound of running feet made her turn.

  “Hi, Phoebe. Did you enjoy the day?”

  “Yeah.” Phoebe was pink in the face, probably from sun or exertion. “It’s always good. I kinda wish Billy could have been here, though. He loved it so much last year. Told me the present he got was his best one ever.”

  Santa’s presents had been small toys or books. If that was Billy’s best present, it said a lot for his home situation.

  Leigh gave Phoebe a brief smile but didn’t answer.

  “Can I ask you something?” Phoebe stood on one leg and rubbed her foot behind the other calf. “It’s a question about law.”

  “Sure.” Leigh hoped she’d hid her surprise. “Ask away.”

  “Is it true that Billy could bring this claim against us until he’s twenty-one?”

  Where did she get that from? “Not exactly. If Stella hadn’t brought the claim, Billy would have been able to bring it on his own behalf once he turned eighteen. And then the three-year limitation date would kick in, so, yes, until he was twenty-one. But as Stella has brought the claim now, that doesn’t apply.” Leigh gave the serious response she thought Phoebe expected.

  “Oh. Good. Thanks.” Phoebe flashed a shy smile. “I was a bit worried.”

  “Where did you hear that?” Maybe she’d overheard Nina on the phone and had gotten the wrong end of the stick.

  “I’ve been reading a bit,” Phoebe mumbled. “Got a book from the library.”

  “Must be a boring book.”

  “I thought it would be. I mean, lawyers are so stuffy and dull. I thought the book would be too. Oh!” She turned beet-red. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that you’re stuffy. Most lawyers probably are. You’re okay.” The last words were muttered to the ground.

  Leigh suppressed a smile. “That’s all right. And you’re correct. A lot of lawyers are rather boring. Why were you reading the book?”

  “’Cause I thought I could help. Back in the beginning, I didn’t think you were going to do anything for us. I thought maybe I could do something. So I got a book on personal injury claims from the library. At first, it was difficult, but then I started to understand it a bit. And then I got interested.”

  Inherently dangerous pastime. So that was where she’d gotten the expression. “A lot of it is interesting, but there’s some really tedious parts too.”

  Phoebe grinned. “I bet you make Grizz do them.”

  “Some. Not all. She’d string me up from the barn rafters if I made her do all the boring bits.”

  “I thought I might be a lawyer one day.” Phoebe said the words in a rush, as if she expected to be told otherwise.

  Leigh nodded. “Good choice. I think you’ll make a fine lawyer.”

  “Really?”

  “Yup. How many other kids read law books for fun? You’ve got the passion.”

  “I want to make things right for people.” Phoebe’s words tumbled out. “People with no money, like us.”

  Leigh blinked hard against suddenly moist eyes. She wanted to hug this fierce little person who was so as she had been once. Before the insurance world had sucked a lot of the joy from her chosen profession. “I did too. I hope you keep your dream, Phoebe.”

  With a shy smile, Phoebe raced back towards the barn.

  Leigh continued on to her car. Maybe she would come here for Christmas after all. It would be different, and it sounded like a peaceful day. She doubted there would be the stilted small talk that often accompanied such gatherings. Christmas at Banksia Farm would be fun—exactly what she needed in her life.

  Chapter 11

  Nina slid the bowl of salad
into the fridge and looked around the room. Christmas lunch preparations complete, she poured a glass of water and moved to the couch. Leigh would be here at any moment, and the butterflies in her stomach danced a polka at the thought. Nina took a sip of water. She and Phoe often had people join them at Christmas—Kiren, Gino, and various Barn Kids and their parents, especially if Christmas was a difficult time for them. There was no reason she should be nervous that Leigh was coming.

  Except she was.

  A knock sounded. Nina leapt to her feet and flung open the door.

  Leigh stood on the step, laden with bags.

  “Come in, come in. I knew it had to be you. No one else knocks.” Nina hesitated. Anyone else who came for Christmas Day she’d have greeted with a kiss on the cheek. It was what you did with guests in the home. But there was still that line to be crossed before Leigh would be a friend rather than simply her lawyer. “Merry Christmas.”

  Leigh leant forward and pecked her on the cheek. “You too. Thank you for inviting me. Now, do you have room in your fridge?”

  “Some.” Nina gestured towards the kitchen. Her cheek felt warm where Leigh’s lips had touched.

  The room looked nice. She and Phoe had tidied up, removed all the papers and clutter from their old wooden dining table, and cleaned the kitchen until it sparkled.

  Leigh lifted her bags onto the kitchen counter and pulled out two bottles of wine. “I hope these are okay.”

  Nina studied the labels. “They’re far better than what I have.”

  Leigh put the white wine into the fridge, then pulled out a bottle of champagne and left it on the counter.

  The glimpse Nina caught of the label told her it was French, the good stuff. She’d never in her life had French champagne. Her belly fluttered a little in anticipation.

  Leigh lifted out a large iced cake, a side of smoked salmon, brown bread and cream cheese, and an assortment of small jars. “You told me to bring something to nibble on. My family likes smoked salmon. I hope that’s okay.”