A Heart This Big

by Cheyenne Blue

  “I guess.”

  Leigh halted, rested her hands on Mr Petey’s neck, and peered across at Phoebe. “I’m not telling you that the farm is going to win against Billy. It’s a bit more complicated than that. I’m telling you that I, Leigh Willoughby, believe in you, and I don’t think you did anything wrong.”

  “Really?”

  The hope in Phoebe’s face tore at her heartstrings. She shouldn’t say any of this; it was unprofessional. But nothing about Nina and Phoebe had followed the normal, distant professional lines, not since the first time Nina walked into Petersen & Blake in her cotton skirt and asked Leigh to help.

  “Yeah, really. Almost certainly, though, the farm will still have to pay something. That’s how it works. But I’m trying my hardest for you.”

  “I know. Thanks.” Phoebe urged Mr Petey forward again. “I’m glad you’re on our side.”

  Leigh’s thigh muscles screamed in agony, and her lower back felt like a plank, but the warmth that spread through her body had nothing to do with the heat of the day.

  “I’ve been reading that law book you gave me.” Phoebe scrunched her nose. “It’s difficult. A bit dull, to be honest.”

  “Law is a bit dull, to be honest.”

  Phoebe giggled. “It’s really hard.”

  “You’re twelve. It’s hard enough when you’re twenty.”

  “I still want to be a lawyer. But right now, I’m reading a really good book about a girl and a portal to another world. She’s got blue hair and has wish coins. It’s more exciting than the law book.”

  “It sounds like it. I’d keep reading that book if I were you.”

  They reached the barn.

  Nina came around to join them. “I saw you rise to the trot. Well done!”

  “Did you see the part before?” Phoebe asked.

  “I did. Not so smooth. I thought you would slide off the side at one point.”

  Leigh groaned. “Not my most elegant moment.”

  Nina’s lips twitched.

  It was a fascinating movement, and Leigh’s gaze fastened on Nina’s mouth before sliding away.

  “I’ve seen better.” Nina slung an arm around Phoebe’s shoulders. “The first time I tried, I fell off in a mud hole. Mind you, Gran was alive then, and I was staying with her. I’d snuck into the paddock and ridden her horse bareback without her knowing. I was six, and the horse was huge. I’d climbed on from the fence, and the horse moved away, and I couldn’t get down. Until I fell off. But Phoe here”—a squeeze of Phoebe’s shoulders—“she got it on her first attempt.”

  Phoe blushed. “Well, I grew up around here. With the ponies. So I’d seen lots of people ride.”

  “You were still good, though, daughter of mine.”

  “Looks like I’ve got the best teacher.” Leigh met Nina’s gaze over Phoebe’s head.

  Nina’s quick smile showed her appreciation of Leigh’s comment. “Are you planning on coming back?” Nina’s voice held an unusual diffidence, as if she shouldn’t ask the question.

  “I’m coming back,” Leigh said firmly. They were friends. They could do this.

  “Well, if you can make time on Thursday afternoon, the Dare to Be Different kids are back. Edwina’s been asking after you.”

  Leigh groaned. “I’ll have to rehearse some answer to her more awkward questions, but, yes, I can be here on Thursday.”

  Chapter 15

  Phoe swung the trolley around into the frozen food aisle. “Can I get potato wedges? Pleaaasseee.”

  “We’ve got plenty of potatoes,” Nina said.

  “I know. But wedges are yummy. C’mon, Mum, it’s a cheap dinner.”

  “Okay, but don’t buy the big bag. Get a small one.”

  “Thanks.” Phoebe rushed off.

  Nina kept moving, past the dessert cabinet and all the other things Phoebe would doubtlessly beg for if she found Nina loitering around the fudge brownie ice-cream. It was early February, and the temperatures were still scorching, so it seemed as if Phoe was living on the stuff.

  She pushed the trolley around to find toilet paper and stopped dead.

  A thin figure studied the kitchen towels. Stooped frame, wispy brown hair, anxious look about her. She’d know Stella anywhere. Even as she watched, Billy ran up to his mum and put dishwashing liquid into her trolley. His plaster cast was gone; he now sported a black brace.

  Nina bit her lip. She should ignore Stella and keep moving. A confrontation wouldn’t be good for anyone, especially the kids. She wasn’t sure if she was even allowed to have anything to do with her. But then Phoe came around the end of the aisle, a huge bag of wedges and a carton of ice-cream in her hands.

  “Billy-the-Kid!” Phoebe dumped the food in their trolley and ran over. “I’ve missed you.”

  Billy cracked a grin as wide as Sydney Harbour. “Phoebe!” He threw his good arm around Phoe’s waist and hugged hard. “I wasn’t allowed to come and see you. Look!” He held up the arm in the brace. “I’m a robot man.” He walked up the aisle in a jerky fashion.

  Phoe giggled and imitated him.

  Nina watched the two of them clowning around, arms and legs moving stiffly as they pretended to be mechanical people.

  “Billy, c’mon. We have to go.” Stella’s voice was as anxious as Nina remembered.

  Nina couldn’t just ignore her. Despite all that was going on, she couldn’t bring herself to sweep around Stella and keep going. She stepped in front of Stella’s trolley. “Hi, Stella. Long time no see.”

  “I can’t talk to you.” Stella tried to get past, but a lady looking at tissues was in the way.

  “We were friends, Stel. And it will give the kids a chance to catch up. Phoe’s missed Billy. We both have.”

  “I’m not allowed to talk to you.” Stella gripped the handle of her trolley with both hands, as if she would ram it into Nina’s legs.

  Nina heaved a breath, willing the curl of anger to subside. She was trying her best to make this okay; Stella must realise that. “There’s no reason those two can’t talk.” At least, Nina hoped there wasn’t. “Let them have a couple of minutes before you drag Billy away.” She nodded to where the robots were now trying to moonwalk. “At least tell me how Billy’s doing.”

  “Why?” The quaver in Stella’s voice made the word high-pitched. “So you can tell your lawyer he’s okay?”

  Nina pressed her lips together, willing the hot retort to subside. After all she’d done, did Stella really think so little of her? She moistened her lips, buying time for her answer. “No. Because I care about Billy. Both of you came to the farm often. We miss you. Billy must miss the ponies.” Too late, Nina remembered that Billy was now scared of animals.

  “He doesn’t. He’s terrified of them. He won’t even walk past the farm now. You can’t trick me.”

  “I’m not trying to.” Could she not say anything right? As far as Stella was concerned, it would seem not. “But at least tell me what happened, what changed. You said Billy was okay. Then you served the damn claim form. You could have come to me first, Stel. Tried to work it out.”

  “Why? So you could offer to pay his medical bills or something? Billy’s gonna need more than that. Thousands more. Hundreds of thousands.”

  Nina’s shiver had nothing to do with the air conditioning. Hundreds of thousands? Surely not.

  “That’s for the lawyers to sort out. Now it is. They’ll get most of it, Stel. Most of the money we pay, most of the money Billy would otherwise receive. Me and Phoe will lose, and Billy will lose. I don’t know what you were thinking.” Keep it nice. Keep it light. She heaved a deep breath. Recriminations and accusations wouldn’t do anything.

  “He told me you’d never pay enough if I didn’t use a lawyer.” Stella shifted the trolley. It looked as if she would ram it through the other shoppers to escape if she had to. “It’
s not fair. You’ve got everything. Me and Billy have fuck all.” She pushed her trolley forward. “Leave me alone, Nina.” She rushed down the aisle and grabbed for Billy’s good arm as she passed, hurrying him along.

  Hundreds of thousands. A boulder lodged in her chest, and she couldn’t drag in enough air. Her asthma inhaler was in the car, and she hoped she wouldn’t have an attack. She’d had no idea. None. It was worse than she ever imagined. What would they do? Her gran’s farm would be sold, the animals dispersed. Then what?

  Nina had no idea.

  Phoe returned. “Why’d they go?”

  “Why do you bloody well think? Because they can’t talk to us, not until they’ve taken us for every bloody penny we have.” Too late, she saw Phoe’s stricken expression and wished she could bite back the words. “Phoe, sweetie, I’m sorry. I’m upset by what Stella said. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

  “Will they? Will they take the farm?” Tears brimmed in Phoe’s eyes. “What about the animals? Where will we live?”

  “We’ll live at Banksia Farm, same as we always have.” Nina wrapped an arm around Phoe’s skinny shoulders. “They won’t get the farm. You’ll ride Mr Petey around the paddock in your new shiny boots for a long time yet.”

  “Promise?”

  “I can’t promise. I wish I could. But we can hope. I think it will work out.”

  “Leigh will save us.” Phoe’s voice wobbled. “She likes you, Mum.”

  “I like her as well, and she’s helping us. But we have to save ourselves too. Now,” she hoped she projected enough cheer into her voice to fool Phoe, “I saw that ice-cream you put into the trolley. Whether you get to keep it depends on what flavour it is. If it’s strawberry, it’s going back in the cabinet.”

  “Chocolate fudge brownie.” Phoe giggled. “You know I hate strawberry.”

  “Then you’re in luck. The ice-cream stays.”

  “Am I intruding?” Kiren’s head poked into the little cubicle that Nina used as an office. “Tell me to get lost if I am.”

  “Nope. Of course not. What’s up, Kiri?” Hopefully nothing major. Nothing worse than black fly in the beans.

  Kiren came fully into the cubicle and rested her butt against the desk. “Nothing’s up with me. Everything’s going swimmingly. Andi’s with the Barn Kids in the paddock, pulling hemlock. The team that pulls the most gets ten minutes more riding time.”

  “Sneaky. I like it.” Nina swivelled away from the computer. “Want a cuppa?”

  “Sure.” Kiren topped up the kettle from the water bottle next to it and flicked the switch. “Actually, I was wondering if there was anything you wanted to talk about.”

  “Am I that obvious? I thought I was the master of bonhomie.”

  “You are. Your good cheer is legendary. But I’ve known you longer than most, and you’re staring into the distance and frowning. And sometimes, you look unutterably sad. I don’t want to intrude if you don’t want to talk, but is everything okay?”

  Kiren’s soft tones and warm voice were Nina’s undoing. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. “Yes. No. Oh fuck, Kiri, it’s all going to hell in a handbasket.”

  “Tell me.” Kiren placed a cup of tea on the desk beside Nina. “Has this got anything to do with the new volunteer, Leigh, who seems to take up your time? Who doesn’t look as if she comes from this area and doesn’t have kids so that I wonder why she’s here?”

  “Sort of. It has more to do with Stella and Billy.”

  “Who haven’t been around for a couple of months. I thought I saw them on the street recently. Billy’s got a brace on his arm.”

  “I know. And that’s got a lot to do with it.” Nina took a deep breath and filled Kiren in with the major points of what had happened.

  “And Leigh?”

  “Is my pro bono lawyer.”

  “I thought…” Kiren seemed to pick her words carefully, “she might be more than that.”

  “Chance would be a fine thing.”

  “Seems to me you have every chance. She could hardly take her eyes off you last time I saw her. Followed you around.”

  “You’re observant. I thought we had a chance at something.”

  “But?”

  “She can’t date a client. She found me another lawyer so that she and I could date, but I told her I’d rather have her legal services than any other kind.”

  Kiren was silent for a moment as she sipped her tea. “And what’s going to happen with this Billy thing?”

  “If I knew the answer to that, I’d tell you. Worst-case scenario, I’ll have to sell the farm to pay him. No one is willing to tell me the best case, but it still involves paying more money than I have.”

  “We could hold a fundraiser.”

  Nina managed a weak smile. “That’s a wonderful thought, but I think it’s far beyond the scope of any fundraiser. We need a lotto win. I feel like I haven’t slept properly for weeks. I wake up in the night, and it all spins around in my head, all the possible scenarios, good and bad. Mainly bad. And then I can’t sleep, so I get up and make a cup of tea and wait for dawn to come. Luckily, it’s early at this time of year.”

  “It sounds like a lot of money for a broken arm.”

  “And the rest of it.” Her throat was suddenly thick. Despair clogged her throat, and it was hard to get the words out. “I get that Stella wants the best for her kid but to the extent of forcing us to close, depriving other kids, the community here, of what we offer? It doesn’t seem right somehow.”

  “Has Leigh got a plan?” Kiren shifted closer and rubbed Nina’s shoulder in a soothing rhythm.

  “I think it’s too early for that. We’re in the wait-and-see stage. Wait and see how badly Billy really is hurt, wait and see what the medical specialists say. Wait and see how much money they want once all of that is known. But Leigh really is the best. That’s why I won’t go to anyone else. If anyone can help us, she can.”

  “And when it’s finally over, what then? Could you and she date if you wanted to?”

  “I guess so. But it’s likely to be a year or so away. So if by then she hasn’t married some fabulous divorce lawyer and still wants to date a penniless ex-farmer, then, yeah, I guess we could.” Her voice cracked, and she couldn’t continue. Nina put her head on her folded arms on the desk and bawled.

  Once started, the tears didn’t want to stop. Dimly, she was aware of Kiren’s soothing murmurs as she rubbed Nina’s shoulders, of the rumble of traffic on the dual carriageway, Sophia’s I-need-milking moo, and the laughter of the Barn Kids. She willed the tears to stop before someone else came in, but all that happened was she got hiccups and her nose blocked. Eventually, she raised her head and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to dump on you.”

  Kiren moved back to the corner of the desk. “No worries. Anytime. You were there for me when Rasheed left me. If it weren’t for this place, I’d probably still be holed up in a tiny flat, stuffing gulab jamun into my mouth until I couldn’t get out of the door.”

  “Come around the next time you’ve got a free evening. We’ll make curry and both stuff ourselves with Indian dumplings.”

  “I’ll look forward to it. And, Nina? We’ll get you through this.”

  “I hope so. And I hope we still have the farm at the end of it.”

  Chapter 16

  “Mum, the developer man is back.” Phoe’s tousled head poked around the door of Mr Petey’s stable. “He wants to see you. I didn’t tell him where you were.”

  “She didn’t have to.” Jon Wakefield sauntered up and leant on the door. “Your sign says, Feel free to look around, and someone will find you. Seems like I found you instead.”

  “I said you weren’t welcome last time. Please leave.” Nina gripped the brush she’d been using on Mr Petey’s tail and willed herself not to
hurl it at Wakefield’s head.

  “You’re open to the public. I don’t see a sign that states entry is at the owner’s discretion.”

  “You’ll see one the next time you try to come back.”

  Wakefield reached out a hand to pat Mr Petey’s nose.

  Nina hoped uncharitably that Mr Petey would take a chunk out of his sleeve, but that would probably give her more problems. And Mr Petey, placid animal that he was, simply accepted the pat with his eyes closed.

  “I’ve come to make you an offer.”

  Nina resumed brushing Mr Petey’s tail. “I’ve turned it down before. I’m turning it down again.”

  “You haven’t heard it yet.”

  “You heard my mum.” Phoebe’s voice trembled. She stood by the door, hands jammed on her hips, her chin jutting forward. “Go away.”

  Wakefield flicked her a glance. “Visitors following your instructions has got you in enough hot water already.” He directed his gaze back to Nina.

  “Care to explain what you mean by that remark?” The red-hot sizzle of anger in her blood wasn’t enough to obliterate her reasoning. How did he know that? Leigh had told her that Billy’s claim was minor enough that it would float under the radar and was very unlikely to be public knowledge. But what else could this self-satisfied jerk be talking about?

  Wakefield rested an arm on the stable door and removed it quickly when he saw the dirt.

  Phoebe sniggered.

  “I gather times are hard here.” Wakefield brushed at the dirt soiling his white shirt. “Which is why I’m prepared to offer you an immediate settlement. Two million dollars. Twenty percent upon a signed contract, the balance within thirty days. I have the contract in my car. Of course, you can get your lawyer to look over it if you wish.”

  “Two million?” Nina narrowed her eyes. “Why do you think I’ll take that when I’ve already turned down your offer of two million, three hundred thousand? You’re very forgetful.”

  “No, I remember exactly what my previous offer was. But circumstances have changed, haven’t they? My previous offer was on longer terms. This is as about as immediate as you’ll get for a land sale in New South Wales.”