Where The Heart Belongs

by Tilly Davis

  Elizabeth had been quick to realise his intentions towards her, and had seen this moment coming throughout the week, she wondered what her father had said to Mr. Collins, had he allowed the match? Did it come with his approval? What would her sisters say?

  ‘Therefore, Elizabeth, it was my intention in coming to Longbourn to solicit a match between myself and one of my five cousins, and it falls to me now to ask if it might be you?’

  Elizabeth now had wont to pause, there was little else she could do but say yes, yet could she marry such a pompous and unattractive man as Mr. Collins? In the week that had passed, each of the sisters had come to realise that their cousin was remarkably unattractive for his pomposity, self-aggrandisement, and sense of self-importance, his constant references to his patron completing the picture.

  If she refused, then the future of Longbourn hung in the balance, and it was she alone who had recognised her father’s ailing health these past months and years, his occasional dry cough, and the slowing down of his legs, simple signs that something was not right.

  But if she said yes then she sacrificed her own happiness for the collective good of her family.

  The thought of Mr. Darcy now crossed her mind. How would that gentleman react given the sense of attachment which she had recognised in him, particularly on the night of the dinner at Netherfield?

  Mrs. Bennet was still listening at the door when her husband emerged from his study, startling her as she now doubled up, pretending to be passing the door to the dining room, engaged in other matters.

  ‘They’re at it now,’ she whispered to him.

  ‘And?’

  ‘Well, she is yet to give an answer, there seems to be silence, allow me to listen, Mr. Bennet,’ she said, now less interested in hiding her eavesdropping, and more so in her daughter’s answer.

  ‘Mr. Collins, you flatter me by your proposal,’ Elizabeth said.

  ‘Before you answer further, dear cousin, let me also elicit several further reasons why it would be advantageous for this union to be made, pray allow me to speak,’ Mr. Collins interrupted, ‘Longbourn is in my inherit, and it will be expedient for all if such a union is undertaken. The house and its contents, by which I refer of course to your mother and sisters, if Mr. Bennet should pass from this mortal life before his time and they be found without a home, would be secured from an unhappy fate if you and I were joined. Furthermore, as I have intimated, it falls upon me as a clergyman to set an example and do unto my patroness the honour she had done unto me by providing a suitable mistress at Hunsford. These then are my reasons.’

  If Elizabeth had been bolder she would have asked the clergyman whether or not a genuine feeling of affection for her came into the picture, and in hindsight some time later she did regret as much. Nevertheless, as it stood, she understood the nature of his proposal, one which would secure her family’s fortune for the future, and also secure her own, the living of a parsonage an adequate achievement for one of her class and standing.

  ‘Sir, you flatter me,’ she repeated, ‘and therefore, having heard your reasons, I graciously accept your proposal, and willingly look to Hunsford as my new home, once the necessary arrangements have been made.’

  Mr. Collins had half expected her to say no to his proposal, and hearing her acceptance he paid no attention to the resignation in which it was given, he himself having thought little about affection or love, such subjects not being fitting for a clergyman to give thought to and certainly not one of the established church.

  As Elizabeth finished speaking, there came a cry from outside as Mrs. Bennet leapt up from the keyhole, ecstatic at hearing her daughter’s affirmation, and calling Mr. Bennet to congratulate the newly betrothed couple.

  The commotion also brought her other daughters inside, Jane wondering where her sister had got to, Mr. Collins’ words taking nigh on half an hour to pour forth.

  ‘Elizabeth is to be married!’ Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, forgetting the fact that she herself only knew this fact by listening at the keyhole.

  The door of the dining room opened and Elizabeth, followed by her now would-be husband, emerged, a nervous smile across her face, the face of Mr. Collins appearing his usual pompous self.

  ‘Elizabeth, dear, the first of our daughters to be married,’ Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, ‘and to such an upstanding and fine gentleman as Mr. Collins, why, sir, I thank you most kindly for bestowing your honour upon us.’

  ‘The honour is mine, madam,’ Mr. Collins said.

  He shook hands with Mr. Bennet, who assured him that his permission was now given, and the girls now crowded around Elizabeth, somewhat confused as to her choice of man, but mindful not to give offence to Mr. Collins who was still standing close by.

  ‘Am I to be an attendant?’ Kitty asked, ‘oh, do say yes, Elizabeth?’

  ‘And I too?’ Lydia said, ‘one can have several attendants, can’t one? Mother, tell her she is to have several attendants, not Mary for she is too plain, but Kitty and I simply must be allowed, we shall carry flowers.’

  ‘Now, girls,’ Mrs. Bennet said, ‘it is up to Elizabeth to choose, and I have no doubt that the wedding will be a simple affair, befitting Mr. Collins’ status, is that right, sir?’

  ‘Certainly, yes,’ Mr. Collins said, ‘a marriage is a serious affair conducted before God and his church, Lady Catherine de Bourgh will not approve of excess. I must write to her immediately and inform her of the news, I can still make the last post in Meryton if I hurry.’

  And with that the gentleman, who had just achieved all that he desired, left the object of that desire in favour of communication with his patron.

  Mr. and Mrs. Bennet also absented themselves from the scene, the lady informing her husband that she must write to all their acquaintances with the news, leaving Elizabeth alone with her sisters, who all now burst into fits of laughter, though they soon realised that the tragedy they found amusement in was all far too real.

  ‘Why did you say yes to him?’ Jane asked, ‘what of Mr. Darcy?’

  ‘Are you really going to marry him?’ Kitty asked, ‘he is so odious, can’t you see that?’

  ‘If I don’t marry him, then Longbourn is sold when father dies, Mr. Collins has said as much, and all of you will be homeless. He would show no compassion, of that I am sure,’ Elizabeth said, tears welling in her eyes, ‘it is I that he has chosen, and it is I who must do my duty in that regard, for all our sakes.’

  ‘Oh, Elizabeth,’ Jane said, embracing her sister, ‘you have done for us a great service this day, but it must be your choice, no one can force you to marry.’

  ‘The choice is as good as forced,’ Elizabeth said, still fighting back the tears, ‘besides, I can make the best of it,’ and she put on a brave face, ‘promise you will often visit me at Hunsford?’

  ‘All the time,’ Kitty and Lydia said in unison.

  ‘You will see us on a regular rota,’ Mary said, ‘why has father allowed this though?’

  ‘Whilst he lives the house is ours, but when he dies there is nothing he can do, it was my choice, Mary. I go happily about it, really I do.’

  ‘And why the tears?’ Jane asked.

  Elizabeth wiped her eyes, and looked at her sister.

  ‘No tears, Jane, I am resigned, Mr. Darcy was a passing fancy, but he will marry Caroline Bingley, of that I have no doubt, one such as I would never be good enough for the heir of Pemberley.’

  ‘And what of I?’ Jane asked, ‘am I not worthy of Mr. Bingley?’

  ‘Of course you are, you must have the happiness for us both, and tell me often of it.’ Elizabeth said.

  ‘Cousin Elizabeth,’ Mr. Collins called from the stairs, ‘won’t you walk into Meryton with me and post the good news of our forthcoming union to Rosings Park, I must have it to Lady Catherine de Bourgh before divine service on Sunday, no doubt she will offer her gracious wishes at the door of the church, and perhaps instruct me to make a public announcement.’

  With this summons Elizabeth lef
t her sisters, whose initial amusing incredulity at her betrothal had now turned to sorrow as they realised that their sister had sacrificed herself in order to save them from their appointed fate.

  ‘Isn’t it wonderful,’ Mrs. Bennet said, as she watched Elizabeth and Mr. Collins walk in unison down the lane into the village, ‘to think my second daughter is to be married to a clergyman, and one of such high standing as Mr. Collins, surely now the future of Longbourn is assured, Mr. Bennet.’

  ‘I rather think it is, thought at what cost I am not sure,’ he replied.

  ‘Well, she herself has chosen, it was most kind of us to allow her such a choice, there are many girls who are simply told whom to marry and that is that,’ she said, ‘it may become necessary for you to do that at some point, Mr. Bennet, we still have four more to marry before I can be satisfied, and rest from my labours.’

  ‘I had not realised the strain you were under, my dear,’ Mr. Bennet said, smiling to himself and returning to his study, shutting the door and drawing the bolt across, the afternoon’s disturbances quite enough excitement for one day.

  8

  A Departure and a Visit

  Saturday dawned bright and cold, with Mr. Collins due to depart at ten o’clock that morning, a carriage from Meryton coming to transport him into the town before he caught the stagecoach on to Kent.

  If truth be told, Mr. Bennet was ready to see the back of his visitor, for it had certainly been an eventful week at Longbourn, and he was keen to return to his study before the festivities of Christmas encroached upon the family.

  On his part Mr. Collins was eager to return to his parochial duties, his mission at Longbourn now realised, and with much to plan before the arrival of Elizabeth in Hunsford.

  That event was scheduled to take place in the spring, with the marriage to take place in Mr. Collins’ own church on the Rosings Park estate, conducted, he intimated, by his long-time friend and mentor, the Bishop of Rochester.

  ‘At the permission of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, of course,’ he had said the previous evening at dinner.

  The walk into Meryton had allowed Elizabeth to gain a little perspective upon what it was she was now about to undertake, though her opinion of Mr. Collins altered little from its first impression. But though she found him a most pompous and self-important individual, she also saw the benefits of the union between them, a fact he had expanded upon further as they had walked to the post that afternoon.

  With several months before she must leave Longbourn for Kent, Elizabeth at least knew she could spend the time in preparation, perhaps even warming to the idea of marriage to the chaplain of Rosings Park.

  ‘I bid you all a fond farewell,’ Mr. Collins said, as his trunks were loaded onto the carriage which had pulled up just before ten o’clock. The ladies gave their benefactor a curtsey, ‘and to you Elizabeth, I gave my fondest farewell,’ he said, taking her hand and causing Mrs. Bennet to exclaim her most profound respect for the clergyman.

  ‘Goodbye, Mr. Collins, we shall see you very soon, and no doubt communicate most regularly by letter in the meantime,’ Mrs. Bennet said.

  ‘Goodbye,’ he called from the carriage, turning to extend his hand in a wave.

  ‘Finally he is gone,’ Jane said, as they entered the house.

  ‘Jane, do not speak of your sister’s betrothed in such terms,’ Mrs. Bennet said, ‘you do not hear us speaking of Mr. Bingley in such a way.’

  ‘That’s because Mr. Bingley’s company is enjoyed by each of us,’ Kitty said.

  ‘Enough,’ their mother said, ‘Elizabeth has made her choice, and it is Mr. Collins, and in doing so she has ensured a roof over our heads for many years to come. Let us sit now, Mary might deign to read to us?’

  ‘I’m going for a walk, Mother,’ Elizabeth said, excusing herself from the room.

  ‘A good idea, dear, take some air to clear your head and contemplate all that lies before you.’

  The ladies of the house entered the drawing room, whilst Elizabeth donned her cloak and was ready to set off when Mr. Bennet caught her at the door.

  ‘It was your choice, Elizabeth,’ he said, ‘I told Mr. Collins as much, whether you have done the right thing though, I do not know, only you can answer that.’

  ‘I had a choice,’ Elizabeth said, ‘but it would have been selfish to choose my own personal happiness when all of us would suffer had I not accepted.’

  ‘A noble choice, but one you may regret, but also one you may change, a proposal is only that, you have this time to think a little and I pray, discern.’

  And with that he went back to his study, grateful for the peace and quiet, whilst Mary read from Wordsworth in the drawing room, the other girls still distracted by the events of the past week.

  The object of Elizabeth’s walk was not to merely clear her head, but also to visit her friend Charlotte Lucas at Meryton Lodge, on the outskirts of the town. It was not a long walk, but she hoped that her friend would be at home, for she had much to impart and confide in her.

  The Lucas’ were old friends of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, and the two girls had known one another since they were children, and being of an exact same age they had found themselves become the best of friends, often walking out together in the surrounding countryside, or passing the time of day together in the pursuits which befell their class and gender.

  Charlotte was indeed at home when Elizabeth reached Meryton Lodge, the housekeeper receiving the familiar face warmly as she opened the door.

  ‘You’ve just missed the master and his wife, ma’am, but Miss Charlotte is here, and I have no doubt that she is the object of your visit?’

  ‘That’s right, Mrs. Harrow, may I come in?’

  ‘Do please, ma’am, this house has long been as home to you as Longbourn is to Miss Charlotte. Has the clergyman departed the district now? It was just I saw the town carriage heading that way, and I thought to myself he must be leaving today, no doubt he had duties to attend to tomorrow.’

  ‘He left this morning,’ Elizabeth replied, ‘he will no doubt return soon though.’

  At that moment Charlotte appeared in the hallway and embraced her friend, leading her into the library where she had been cataloguing her flower pressings from the summer before. She was eager to hear her friend’s news, though of course she knew nothing about the shock which Elizabeth was now to impart.

  ‘I collected some wonderful specimens,’ she said, ‘come and see, I’ve got every rose from the garden, father said they’ll make a fine collection in an album.’

  ‘Charlotte, I have some news to tell you,’ Elizabeth said.

  The tone in her voice caused her friend to look up at her inquisitively.

  ‘Come and sit down over here,’ she said, ‘and you can tell me.’

  A fire was burning merrily in the grate, and Charlotte seated herself opposite Elizabeth, now giving her full attention.

  ‘I’m engaged to be married,’ Elizabeth said.

  There was a slight paused as Charlotte imbibed the information before she let out a shriek of joy and leaped up to embrace her friend.

  ‘But you have only met him several times, I wasn’t even sure whether you would look twice at him again the way he treated you at the Assembly Room ball, but then he was so kind when Jane was at Netherfield and to visit you too. Oh, Elizabeth, I am so happy for you, and Mr. Bingley to marry Jane, it is like a fairy tale.’

  ‘Charlotte, it is not Mr. Darcy that I am engaged to be married to,’ Elizabeth said, cutting Charlotte off in mid-flow.

  ‘Well, if not Mr. Darcy, then who?’ Charlotte said, ‘is there someone you have been introduced to just recently, not one of the officers billeted in the town, surely?’

  ‘It is to Mr. Collins, Charlotte, my cousin,’ Elizabeth said, ‘his visit to Longbourn this week raised many questions about our future state, he stands to inherit upon our father’s death and without a suitable match then Longbourn would be sold and us evicted.’

  ‘Mr. Collins?’
Charlotte said, appearing incredulous, ‘but he is nothing compared to Mr. Darcy, I saw him walk by here earlier in the week, father observed that it was he, but you hardly know of him.’

  ‘But he is still the heir to Longbourn, and still our benefactor, he promises to treat me in all manners correct, and I have no doubt that he will,’ Elizabeth replied, ‘my mind is made up, Charlotte, please say you will support me?’

  ‘I would support you if you had chosen to marry the most wanted criminal in England,’ Charlotte said, getting up and embracing her friend, ‘but you have every right to change your mind if you should so wish, I am sure you would not be turned out of Longbourn if the worst ever happened, Mr. Collins cannot be a man of dishonour, he is a clergyman after all.’

  ‘And you are excited on my behalf?’ Elizabeth asked her friend.

  ‘I am sure I shall become so as times passes,’ Charlotte said, ‘when is the wedding planned for?’

  And with the initial shock of the news now imparted, the two friends talked about the marriage, and the way in which Mr. Collins had proposed to her, Charlotte secretly a little jealous that such a proposal had been made, she herself desirous of such a match, and hopeful that soon it would be her turn to announce to Elizabeth such happy news.

  As Elizabeth made her way home to Longbourn that evening she felt a little more contentment in her decision. Mr. Collins was not the worst possible match that she could have made, and perhaps she would eventually find herself happy in Kent, rearing children, and behaving in a similar manner to her mother when the time for their betrothals came.

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