Faking It

by Black, Natasha L.

  I walked her to her door and kissed her softly. It was a restrained kiss, as I held back the desire I’d felt mounting all evening. I didn’t want to push her too hard, didn’t want to seduce her just yet. Her fingers gripping my collar told me all I needed to know—she would have said yes, would have invited me in. But I wasn’t trying to rush and close the deal. I was trying to make a decision that could affect both our lives for years to come, and my brain needed to stay in the game.

  6

  Allie

  The clinic was shorthanded on the grooming side because the new girl quit, so I pitched in over there for a couple of days while they trained someone. I combed and bathed and trimmed, basically doing all the things I did to pay my way through my tech certificate program. I tied a red bandanna around a black Lab’s neck and told him he was a pretty boy. He snuffled at my smock looking for more treats. I put him in the kennel and took my break an hour late. When I checked my phone, I had a couple of messages from Raul. One was a meme about rich people and their servants, which was something I’d teased him about since I found out he had a cook growing up. The other was a simple, “Thinking about you.” It kind of melted my heart.

  I replied that I was thinking about him, too, and that a tall dark and handsome black Lab was trying to steal my heart, or at least my liver snaps. My sisters would’ve told me to play hard to get; not to answer him so quickly. But I didn’t play games like that. I was comfortable saying I liked him, and I was happy that he liked me, too. The other night when he gave me a pretty innocent goodnight kiss, I was impressed that he was true to his word. Raul wasn’t trying to rush things with me or get me into bed as fast as possible. I wasn’t ready to go head over heels for him yet either. We had fun together, and he was gorgeous and seemed kind. But we didn’t know each other well enough to be exclusive. So I was pretty damn satisfied with where we stood. And I was looking forward to Friday night.

  Dinner with my sisters that Wednesday was at Addy’s off-campus apartment. She brought food with her from work—she was interning at a corporate firm and they had leftovers from a catered meal. So we had some pretty nice olives and cold meats and three kinds of cheeses.

  “Wild, right? These people spent a fortune on charcuterie boards for appetizers and the lawyers ate like, what, a piece of bread and half an olive? I get focusing on the meeting, but this is a fine spread right here,” Addy said.

  “Hey, yesterday after the store closed for the night, we had a training on a new cosmetics brand we’re carrying. I got the best sample bag, and the rep gave me an extra ‘for a friend’. So who wants to be my favorite sister?” Megan asked.

  “Me,” Addy said.

  “Let her have it. She missed lunch.”

  “I don’t know. You should totally wear more makeup, Allie,” Megan said.

  “In my defense, I spent the last two days washing dogs and giving them haircuts. I didn’t need dog hair getting stuck in my fancy lip-gloss. Tomorrow I’m back in the exam rooms, and I can wear makeup again, I promise,” I said.

  “You better. Otherwise people might find out we’re sisters and your natural look could straight up ruin my reputation,” Megan said as Addy dug into the little gift bag and sifted through her loot.

  “This is amazing, thank you!” she said, hugging Megan.

  I smiled. I was glad the treat cheered her up.

  “So, Mom was telling me you have a new boyfriend,” Addy said.

  “What?” I said. “I mentioned that I was going out with Raul again when I talked to her.”

  “Yeah, well, she told me all about his ranch, and his sense of humor and how you were just giddy talking about him,” Addy said.

  “She did not say giddy. Shut up,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “Mom texted me to ask what was up with you and this guy. You know, the one I’ve been having dirty dreams about ever since we met him at your place,” Megan said.

  “You are not allowed to fantasize about men I date,” I said.

  “That’s never been a problem before now,” Megan shot back.

  “Oooooh,” Addy said, rubbing her hands together in excitement that drama could be afoot.

  “I have had several good-looking boyfriends. Just because I’ve never dated anyone who looks as good as Raul Santiago that shouldn’t be considered an insult to me or to my exes. Because not a lot of people look as good as Raul, let’s face it,” I said.

  “He is kinda in his own league,” Megan conceded. “The Shaw sisters can pull some prime man-meat, and this is proof.”

  “Man-meat? God, there is something wrong with you,” I said, pitching an olive at her. It landed in her hair, where she seized it and popped it in her mouth.

  My phone jingled, and I reached for it.

  “Oh, I bet it’s him,” Addy said.

  I saw that it was a text from Raul, but I didn’t read it, “I’m with my sisters right now. Whoever it is can wait,” I said.

  “Right. After you just flipped it over and looked at the screen,” Megan said. “You’re obsessed with the new guy. You’ve gushed to Mom. You’ve just said he’s the hottest guy you’ve ever dated—”

  “Look, that last part isn’t up for debate. That’s just stating a fact. I haven’t dated a bunch of ugly guys or anything, but let’s be real,” I said.

  “You have to give her that,” Addy said, “He’s hotter than like 98% of the population.”

  “Just read the text,” Megan said with a noise of disgust, “and if it’s a sexy pic, you gotta share it with us.”

  “We do not send pictures like that,” I said, sounding snooty. “And even if we did, I wouldn’t show them to anyone.”

  “I sent a boob shot to the guy I was dating last fall: the one who manages Buffalo Wild Wings in the mall?” Megan said. We nodded. We remembered Buffalo Tyler.

  “And?” I said, not really wanting to know.

  “He literally made it his cover image on Facebook. So all of his friends—1400 people—saw my rack without doing anything to deserve the privilege,” she said.

  “Please tell me you never went out with him again,” I said wearily.

  “Again? I never went out with him at all. We were just texting, and he decided to share my titty pic. Closest he ever got to them was pixels,” Megan said, brushing the crumbs off her hands.

  “I’m weirdly proud of you,” Addy told her, and we all laughed.

  * * *

  When Friday rolled around, I’d had a rough day. I had to assist in putting down a senior Goldendoodle who’d been backed over accidentally in her own driveway. I sat in the procedure room afterward with the owners and held the woman’s hand as she wept and clutched the red nylon leash, unable to let it go. When the vet had suggested cremation services, the man had gotten to his feet and insisted they’d bury her themselves because she was family. His eyes were red-rimmed and his jaw set. His hand never left his wife’s shoulder as she crumpled the tissue I gave her and stared at the empty leash in disbelief. When they finally left, I had to go to the bathroom to compose myself. I braced my hands on the sink and took some long, choking breaths, sniffed and got a drink of water. Other patients would need me. I couldn’t fall apart.

  I took out my phone and saw where Raul had texted asking how my day was.

  “I just helped some people say goodbye to their pet. It’s been a hard morning.”

  His reply came through immediately: “Your compassion is one of the best things about you, Allie.”

  Something in the confident way he said it made me straighten my spine and carry on, made me feel stronger and valued. I went back to registration and got the next file. There were other pets I could help, and loving animals enough to grieve for them was a strength, not a weakness.

  On my lunch break, I scrolled through social media and saw that a band I loved was coming to Fort Worth. Over two hundred miles away, and almost three months from now. All I could think of was how much fun it would be to go for the weekend with Raul. I wanted to buy the ticke
ts. I itched to hit the ‘buy now’ button but we’d only been on one date. It was way too soon to be this excited, to be making long term plans. I could ask him what he thought, and risk scaring him off. Or I could just buy the tickets and take one of my sisters when the time came if things didn’t work out between us. I went for it. I knew going to that concert, especially with Raul Santiago, would make me happy, so I bought the tickets. I got lawn seats because we’d dance the whole time anyway, so chair seats were a waste of money. He seemed like the kind of guy who’d dance with me, who’d really know how to have fun. I smiled all day just thinking of it, like a secret treat up my sleeve, a happiness I’d promised myself.

  Friday night rolled around, and I put on the dress I’d bought downtown. It was a sleeveless wrap dress with a tie belt, short enough to show off my legs. I put on my favorite sandals and left my hair down. When he came to pick me up, I’d been ready for half an hour.

  His blue shirt was open at the collar, showing his tanned throat. Raul looked so handsome. I hugged him, smiled up into his gorgeous eyes.

  “How have you been?” he said, bending to greet my dogs and give them pets.

  “I missed you,” I admitted.

  “I missed you, too,” he said, “are you ready?”

  “Yes,” I said, and we were on our way.

  He had made a reservation at the restaurant in the pretty bed and breakfast downtown. It wasn’t fancy, but there was a candle on every table, and the menus weren’t laminated. Our little table was by the window where I could look through the old-fashioned lace curtains to see the sidewalk, people and their kids eating ice cream from the walk-up stand and teenagers holding hands as they strolled. I wasn’t so different from them, with the blush that stole up my cheeks just looking at Raul.

  “I like seeing your hair down. It’s beautiful,” he said.

  “Thank you. I usually have it in a ponytail for work. But this is a special occasion.”

  “I think it is. If you’re not busy tomorrow afternoon, I’d love it if you came out to Santeria to see the ranch, meet my new horses.”

  “I’d love that,” I said, a balloon of joy swelling in my chest at the thought of him showing me around the beloved ranch that meant so much to him, maybe even going for a ride together. Happiness stretched out before me.

  We flirted and talked and ate our steaks. He told me about the beef cattle he raised and about the different breeds that produced the best hides for tanning which he used for the family leather goods brand.

  “Wait, you’re Santi leather?” I asked, dumbfounded. “Those boots and bags and stuff? I was at the dentist and they had a copy of Vogue—and there was a gorgeous brown leather belt I loved. When I looked at the shopping guide, it was from the Santi brand. It was like six hundred dollars! I know it’s tacky to say it’s super expensive, but that’s some serious luxury goods, Raul,” I said. “I could never afford something like that.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I wasn’t planning a sales pitch,” he said smoothly, teasing me. “I just really enjoy your company.”

  “I enjoy yours very much,” I said.

  “Would you like dessert?”

  “I—actually I wanted to ask you something,” I said, as he reached for my hand across the table. “The other night on the phone we talked about how we listen to a lot of the same music. There’s this band I really love that’s coming to Fort Worth in July, and I wondered if it was too soon to ask if you’d like to go with me?”

  He grinned. In fact he looked like he was trying not to laugh.

  “You know what? Never mind,” I said, stung, “it was too soon, and I shouldn’t have pressured you.”

  “No, no. It isn’t too soon, Allie. It isn’t. I’d love to go.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes,” he said, squeezing my hand, “that sounds wonderful.”

  “I’ve got some of their music on my phone if you want to listen to it while you kiss me,” I stammered with a smile, a hot rush unfurling in my body at the idea.

  In no time, we stood on the pavement outside the restaurant together. Raul took both my hands, lifted them to his lips and kissed them. “Thank you for having dinner with me.”

  Still holding my hands in his, Raul took my lips in a kiss. Passion racked my body, a shiver running through me as soon as his lips met mine. He stepped closer, releasing my hands, and took me in his arms. My palms were flat against his muscled chest, wrinkling that blue shirt as he kissed me. It was intense, left me panting, and I leaned against him when we broke the kiss.

  I sat beside him in the truck, turned on a song by the band I’d bought tickets to. But I couldn’t focus on anything but the sandalwood scent of Raul’s tanned skin. I leaned up and pressed a kiss to the side of his throat. He groaned, his hand coming up to tangle in my hair. I kissed his neck, loving the taste of his heated skin.

  “God, Allie,” he said raggedly. “I should take you home.”

  “I don’t want tonight to end just yet,” I whispered against his collar. I saw him flex his hand on the steering wheel, his knuckles showing white. He wanted me; I could practically sense it in the air as my heart pounded wildly.

  “Neither do I, but I won’t have you in this truck like a horny teenager. You deserve better than that even though our chemistry is ridiculous.”

  I drew away from him a little. Raul was right, as much as I hated to admit it. Sleeping together so quickly would be a mistake, and I wasn’t willing to risk a relationship that already meant so much to me over instant gratification. I wanted him, but I liked him well enough to wait. It was weird for me to even consider sleeping with him, because I had never been the kind of girl to rush in like that. It wasn’t a decision to make impulsively for me. So I backed off.

  “Sorry,” I said, “I got carried away. It isn’t like me at all. I’m—”

  “Please don’t say you’re not that kind of girl, Allie,” he said. “It isn’t that I don’t want to. Because I really want to. I just have too much respect for you and for what this could become to take you to bed right away. The sex is going to be explosive,” he gave a ragged laugh. “I want you to know that I value you, that I care for you. That I’m man enough to take you home now and let you go in that door alone. Even if it’s one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.”

  “Wow,” I said, moved by his speech.

  “I’d like to talk to you seriously for a few minutes. If we just park here and talk…”

  “Okay,” I said, starting to feel nervous.

  Raul parked the truck and rolled down the windows, “To keep us honest.”

  “You think we’d steam them up?” I teased.

  “Definitely. I want to talk to you about my grandfather’s ranch; about Santeria.”

  “Okay. I know it means the world to you.”

  “It does. Which is why I find myself in a difficult position. When my Papí died, he left me the ranch and the leather goods on the condition that I get married. I hired lawyers, tried to break the will, but I now have no choice.”

  “Wow. So you have to get married to keep your family business. This is your legacy, and I get how important it is to you. I’m sorry, I—I had hopes that this was going to go somewhere serious, as early as it was.”

  He cleared his throat, “If you think I’m trying to break up with you, I haven’t been clear. I do have to get married if I want to keep Santeria, which I do. But there isn’t another woman. I don’t want anyone else. And if I saw any alternative I wouldn’t do this to you, put this pressure on you. But I need a bride, and you’re the one that I want.”

  “What?” I asked, my mouth falling open.

  “Hear me out,” he said, running a hand through his hair and looking in my eyes. “I know I just said it was too soon for us to sleep together because it could screw up the chance of this lasting; that going too far too fast could ruin everything. And I believe that, but I also know that if I walk away from you and marry someone else to get my inheritance, I’ll alwa
ys regret it. I’d regret not taking this chance and asking you. Even though it’s insane to propose to someone I’ve known for two weeks. If you say no, which is what any rational person would do obviously, I will find someone else to marry, and quickly. But that isn’t what I want. If I have to do this, I don’t want to do it with anyone but you.”

  “I—I’m flattered but I don’t know what to say. It’s all a bit overwhelming.”

  “Yes, and I’m sorry. I know that it’s a surprise. And I want to explain the terms of the will if you’re willing to listen.”

  “I am. I just—I don’t know if this is something I can consider,” I said, feeling tears sting the backs of my eyes.

  I didn’t want to lose him. But I didn’t want to jump into a marriage with a man I barely knew either.

  “The will states that I have to be legally married and remain so for at least three years. We have to live together during that time, no separate houses or anything. And when the three years are over, we can split up. No bad breakup, just an out-clause where you get a financial settlement and we part ways. I want you to know there’s something in this for you. And if I’m asking for three years of your life, asking you to relocate to my ranch and be my wife, I expect to compensate you. Not—not like a hooker. That sounded wrong. I mean that you’d be entitled to money, a great deal of it. Several million dollars free and clear, so you could go live whatever life you wanted basically.”

  “Wait. You’re offering me money to marry you?”

  “Basically. I’m asking you to marry me as a favor, and because it’s asking a lot, particularly when we haven’t known each other all that long, I want to make sure you know you’ll be provided for; that you get something out of this other than my undying gratitude and a horse.”

  “What? What horse?” I said, mystified.

  “Well, I bought you a horse the other day. It’s like my version of the concert tickets—I couldn’t resist. And the reason I almost laughed when you mentioned the concert was because I thought it was ironic that you suggested you were rushing me when I was going to ask you to be my wife.”