by Victoria Zak
Kendrick slammed his hands on the table. He hardly possessed the strength to hold his body up. His shoulders drooped in defeat. “Adamina,” he whispered.
The door to the shop blew open and a gust of frigid air filled the room. He turned toward the door. “Davina?”
The cloud of snow disappeared and he expected to see the red-haired lass, but no one was there. He pushed off the table and walked outside, pausing as the wind blew over his body. A sweet voice he knew all too well called to him. “Adamina.” He squinted though the flurries, confused. Even though he saw nothing, something within the wind called his name.
“Kendrick.”
Her sweet voice sounded real. He shook his head, fighting the cruel trickery. Nay, she’s gone, Kendrick.
The pain was too much. Kendrick gave in and followed the voice through the forest. He knew exactly where it was leading him, for he visited the place often.
The voice stopped as he reached a small clearing. A blanket of snow covered the ground. Even the fire pit he’d built next to the grave was hidden.
He bent over and brushed the stones clean until a rectangular outline was visible.
He straightened, looking down at the grave. A small part of a cross that laid flat inside the stones was visible. Kendrick knelt and wiped the rest of the snow away. He sat back on his heels. The ache in his chest grew. “I’m so sorry. I’ve made a mess out of our lives. Ye were the string that binded our family together. Without ye, Adamina, me life is falling apart.”
A stick figure next to the cross caught his eye. He walked over and pulled it from the snow. A doll? He dusted the rest of the snow off it. How did it get there?
As he examined the doll, he noticed the twigs were gold with a wavy
grain. A yew tree. Kendrick smiled. He knew exactly who had put this on his wife’s grave.
Not too long ago, he’d explained to Anna the meaning of the ancient yew tree and the power it held. He shared when the yew was placed on a grave, it was a reminder that death was only a pause in life before rebirth.
Kendrick placed the doll on top of the cross. Rebirth? Aye, if only true. If only those sticks would magically bring Adamina back. His heart broke knowing how much Anna wanted her mother back.
Kendrick fell to his knees. Why had she been taken from him? He’d failed to keep his family together. He’d failed at being a father. Adamina was his better half. She made him a better man. If it hadn’t been for her, he would’ve died a long time ago.
And now that he’d felt what love was, he didn’t want to let her go. He’d never understand why the gods took such a fine woman away from him…
away from his children. Aye, he’d cursed the gods may times.
Mayhap, the gods were punishing him for all the killing he’d done.
Maybe she had died because of him.
Tears burned his eyes, his chest tightened as anger bubbled into rage. He threw his head back and yelled into the night sky like a howling wolf.
“Why,” he cried, years of hurt bleeding out of his soul.
A ray of light shined down on his body, warming him. Bewildered, he reached for the beam. Light glowed through his hand Adamina’s voice returned. “Kendrick.”
Calmness washed over him.
Kendrick opened his eyes to see the light streak across the sky.
“Adamina,” he whispered as he collapsed in the snow.
8
LEANA TRIED to make sense of everything as she paced restlessly in her bedchamber. She couldn’t forget Kendrick’s kiss. Her body hummed with need and curiosity. No man had ever made her feel like this, especially from a kiss.
“Who are ye, Kendrick the Fletcher?”
No mortal should be as dangerously handsome as Kendrick. The ancient gods must have cast him from stone. Sucking in a shaky breath, she remembered how strong his body felt pressed against her. What did his body look like underneath that tunic?
Maiden, Mother, Crone. She could no longer ignore the exhilarating pull he had over her.
She liked her new home. She’d grown to care for his children. And for the first time in some years, she felt like she had a purpose in life. That she belonged…that she was needed. The children saw her as a normal woman, not a creature that nightmares were made of.
They will find out. Leave now before it’s too late.
Nay. This was no time for irrational thoughts. She wasn’t going to live in fear. She had to know Kendrick’s true self, and if that meant she had to tell him the truth about everything, well, that was a risk she’d take. No more lies.
Determined to change her future, Leana walked out of her bedchamber to find Kendrick. She took the stairs with haste before she changed her mind.
Something told her that the truth was going to hurt both of them, but who would suffer the most?
Leana grabbed her cloak before leaving the keep. She treaded through the
thick snow to Kendrick’s workshop. He was always in his shop. “Kendrick,”
she called.
When he didn’t answer, Leana opened the door and stepped inside. “We need to talk.” She turned to shut the door and her body froze, for she knew there was no turning back. She had to tell him the truth. “Kendrick, I know ye are something more than ye say. I felt it in yer touch. Tell me yer secret, and I’ll share mine.”
Her brows creased in confusion. He wasn’t here. “Kendrick.” She searched the shop. Where could he be?
Thinking he might have snuck inside the keep without her knowing, Leana left the shop. As she began to walk back to the keep, she noticed a trail of footprints in the snow leading toward the back of the keep. “What was he doing out in the snow? Daft man will freeze his ballocks off.”
Leana followed the trail and stopped at the tree line where the footprints disappeared into the forest. Her inner voice warned her not to go any further.
But Kendrick was out there, and he needed her; she felt it.
“Kendrick!” She braved the first few steps into the dark woods, listening for him. She heard a faint heartbeat. But why was he so weak?
Horrified that something bad had happened, Leana ran to a clearing, stopping at a grave. “Kendrick…” She fell to her knees and pulled him onto her lap. She brushed the snow from his face. “Wake up, ye eejit.” There was no need to check for a pulse. She’d eyed the thick vein running down his neck. He was alive, barely.
“Kendrick ye will no die on me. Allie needs ye. Wake up.” She slapped his face.
Moaning, he opened his eyes. “Davina?”
She wrinkled her nose at the smell of sour ale on his breath. “By the gods, Kendrick, how much have ye been drinking?”
“Not enough. I’m still alive.”
“Och, ye fool.” She pushed him away.
“Bloody hell, lass,” he moaned as he rolled to his side, in obvious pain.
Leana stood, disgusted. “What are ye doing to yerself? This is no way for a father to act.”
“I dinnae need ye to tell me that. I know.” Kendrick sat up, brushing snow off his clothes.
As much as it angered her to see Kendrick like this, she understood everyone had demons to slay. His were fighting relentlessly. Who was she to
judge? She bent down next to him. “Talk to me, Kendrick.” She cupped his face. “Yer demons are too strong to fight alone. Let me help ye.”
Kendrick turned away angrily. “What do ye know of demons?” He pushed up from the ground and stood. “Dinnae talk to me about something ye know nothing about.”
Leana faced him. “A wise man knows when he needs help.”
“I dinnae need yer help.”
He didn’t need her help. He was too far gone. However, her feelings wouldn’t let her go.
Leana joined Kendrick at the grave. “Is this the ghost ye’ve been fighting?”
“Aye,” he said grimly. “She’s me wife.”
Leana didn’t know what to say. She had a different view on death than humans, and no matter how hard she tried
to be human, she would never think like one.
Her soul had no beginning, middle, or end, she was immortal. For her protection, death was something she accepted. It was all around her.
The dream of living a normal life could never be. Her life died the day she took the blood oath and bowed before the fae queen.
Yet, her heart ached for Kendrick. She felt his pain and how much he missed his wife. She understood firsthand what it had done to this family. If only she could take his pain away.
“If the gods had mercy, I’d ask to trade in all my tomorrows for just one yesterday. I’d show her the husband she deserved.”
Leana put her hand on his shoulder. It was the only thing she could do to comfort him, for there were no words to ease his pain.
To her surprise, Kendrick placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed.
“Have ye ever loved someone so much it hurts?” Kendrick gazed at her.
The anguish in his eyes tore at her heart “I’ve never experienced a love that strong.”
“I’d die for her.”
Suffering radiated from his body. Leana couldn’t bear to see him trapped inside this emotional torture chamber. She had to take his pain away. Not knowing what kind of magic she’d felt in Kendrick, she was taking a huge risk. But she had to do something. No one deserved this amount of cruelty.
Looking deep into his brown eyes, Leana caressed his cheek as she absorbed some of his pain. “What was her name?”
“Adamina,” his voice cracked.
“’Tis a beautiful name.”
“Aye,”
Leana prayed her charm was working. “Tell me what ye remember the most about Adamina.”
The corners of his mouth rose. “Her cooking.”
“What did she cook for ye?”
“Roasted grouse.” She watched him fall deeper under her spell. “I remember how she used to fuss while plucking the feathers. I’d tell her my job was to provide the meat, hers to clean and cook it.” He chuckled.
“How did it make ye feel to provide for yer family?”
His smile faded. Shite, did he see through her charm?
Suddenly, his hands were on her hips, pulling her close. “Like a man.”
Leana placed her hands on his chest. Instantly, warmth traveled up her arms, causing her to lose focus. Aye, he was much more than a mortal man.
As she probed deeper into his mind and heart, she found the deepest, strongest feelings for Adamina. It wasn’t easy, Kendrick hadn’t loved freely.
But she absorbed the love. The power was unlike anything she’d ever known.
He adored his wife.
Was this what true love felt like?
She didn’t want to stop the rush of ecstasy, but she knew what she was feeling was not made for her. Stepping into his embrace, Leana wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. She squeezed him and poured all of Adamina’s love back into him. Where her body touched his, he’d feel that love.
He engulfed her with his big body. All the years of pent-up heartache flowed out of him. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he buried his head against her neck.
“That’s it, take her love and live again.” She took away years of suffering and replaced it with love and happiness. Even if it wasn’t with her, Kendrick’s family deserved joy.
“I dinnae know what is happening to me,” he whispered in her ear. “I feel weightless, as if the veil of misery has been lifted.”
Leana wrapped her arms around his neck, bring his forehead to hers.
“Kendrick, know this. Yer love for Adamina will live on. Her death is not the greatest loss in yer life. ‘Tis what has died inside ye over the years yer family mourns.”
“I…I love her so much. I dinnae know how to let her go.”
“Shh.” She closed her eyes and caressed the back of his neck, absorbing the rest of the pain. “Dinnae think, Kendrick, just feel me.”
9
KENDRICK AWOKE INSIDE HIS BEDCHAMBER. But how in the devil had he ended up undressed and in bed?
He sat up and scrubbed his face, expecting to feel hungover. He’d drank himself into oblivion. But his head didn’t throb, nor did the taste of sour ale linger in his mouth.
He scanned his bedchamber, noticing the fire and a tray of food on the table. Davina was curled up in a chair asleep.
What had made him feel like he was at peace? The fog had lifted from his mind and he could think clearly. That hadn’t been possible in so many years.
He’d spent every day drunk. But now…his body felt alive, like he’d made love all night, and he wanted more.
Shite. Why couldn’t he remember who had made him feel this way? He’d been at the shop. Kendrick closed his eyes, remembering more. Adamina’s grave... He’d been there with Davina.
Kendrick’s eyes shot open. What had he done? He stared at Davina. If he had taken her to bed, she would still be lying next to him. Relief washed over him. Nay, he hadn’t made love with her. No amount of ale could make him forget that!
Perplexed, Kendrick laid back down. He kept watch over Davina as he untangled his thoughts. In his condition last night, there’d have been no way to make it back to the keep without help. Davina couldn’t have brought him here on her own. He was a big man, too heavy for her to carry.
What had taken place last night?
Kendrick’s attention returned to Davina, her perfect lips, dark eyelashes,
and flawless skin. He’d never seen a more beautiful woman.
His gaze drifted to her full breasts and her veil of long, curly red hair. He sighed, for he’d felt her softness against him. Aye, he’d touch her again…
when the time was right.
Davina stirred. Her dress slipped up her leg, exposing her thigh. He swallowed hard as he imagined trailing kisses up her leg. He bet she tasted sweet like warm honey. The lass had no idea what she had turned him into.
Or did she? Did she know he was watching her?
“Ye’re awake, my lord.”
Kendrick’s heart raced as he looked up at her. He felt like a fool getting caught staring. Even if he were free to love, Davina deserved better. “Aye.”
He sat up, pulling the furs over his lap, hiding his arousal.
His eyes followed the sway of her hips as she walked across the room to a table and poured water into a tankard. She glanced over her shoulder as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Her wicked smile said it all as she stared at his cock. She knew how aroused he was and liked it! He licked his lips. For fuck’s sake, what did she think of him? “I’m sorry. ‘Tis inappropriate.”
“I disagree, ‘tis verra appropriate.” Davina handed him the tankard and sat on the bed.
By the gods, she was so close. All he had to do was lean in and take her in his arms.
Damn him for a fool, he leaned toward her. Aye, she smelled divine. His heart raced as she caressed his forehead. Before he did something stupid, he turned away.
“Ye should know by now I dinnae bite,” Leana said. “I need to check for fever.”
He grabbed her hand. “It has been a long time since I’ve had a beautiful woman in me chamber. Forgive me if I seem uneasy.”
She gazed into his eyes. “Ye think I’m beautiful?”
“Ye know ye’re a bonny lass.”
“Hearing it from ye means something special.”
“Aye?”
She averted her gaze, but Kendrick lifted her chin, bringing her eyes to his again. “Tell me.”
“It does no’ matter. Ye’ve made it perfectly clear ye dinnae want a wife, and I will no’ settle for anything less than a husband and family.”
“Davina—”
“Nay. I will leave ye to rest.” Davina began to leave, but Kendrick stopped her.
“I dinnae want ye to go.” He pulled her back down on the bed. “I dinnae know what happened between us at the grave, and dinnae think I want to know. Whatever it was, me head has never been clearer. I feel ali
ve again because of ye. Ye’re the light I needed in me dark world.” He took her hands in his. “Davina, please do me the honor of being me wife.”
Kendrick waited for her response. He couldn’t believe how freely the truth had poured out. Giving up the ghost never felt so good. Adamina would want him to be happy; she’d want her children to be happy. Davina had shown him she was the woman his children needed…the woman he needed.
“Kendrick, I dinnae know what to say.”
“’Tis want ye want, isn’t it?”
“I do. Verra much.”
“Then marry me.” He cradled her face and stared into her eyes. “There’s no denying it, there’s a passion between us waiting to be explored. I can feel it. Can ye?”
“God’s bones, I felt it the day we first met.”
He brushed his lips against hers, taking in their softness. Her breath quickened as he moved his hands down her back. He pulled her close. “I need ye, Davina.”
“What are ye waiting for?” She met his lust-filled gaze. “Kiss me.”
Kendrick slipped his hand behind her neck, bringing her lips to his. Their tongues dueled in a heated rush. Why had he waited so long to kiss her like this?
“Kendrick,” she moaned.
“Lass,” he growled. “I love the way me name sounds coming from yer lips.” His ears weren’t the only thing that loved her moans. His cock ached to be buried deep inside her. It had been a long time. He’d finish before they even got started.
“Kendrick.” She placed her hands on his chest and drew away from him.
“There’s something I must tell ye.”
The bedchamber door flew open and Anna strode in, panicked. In shock, she looked at Davina who was wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, then at Kendrick. “Da,” she exclaimed.
“Anna,” he warned. But as he looked at her, there was something very wrong and it had nothing to do with Davina. “Is it Allie?”
“Nay…I…MacTavish...” She couldn’t speak clearly.
Davina walked over to Anna and placed her hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down. “Slow down lass.”