Finding Christmas

by Karen Schaler

  She blushed, even though she knew he was teasing her.

  “Shall we?” he asked as he put his hand gently on her back and guided her toward the pretty hostess, who was waiting for them.

  “Merry Christmas,” the hostess said. “Welcome to Christmas Cabin.”

  Emmie and Sam smiled back at her.

  “Merry Christmas,” Emmie said. “We’re excited to be here.”

  The hostess gave them a warm smile. “Are we celebrating a special occasion tonight? An anniversary or—”

  “Oh no, we’re not together. He’s not my boyfriend,” Emmie said quickly.

  Sam laughed a little. “But we are celebrating something special.”

  When Emmie gave him a questioning look, he just kept smiling at the hostess, who Emmie could see was clearly charmed by him. She stepped forward to get the hostess’s attention. “We’re just here for dinner. Our reservation is under Sanders—Emmie Sanders.”

  “Just one moment,” the hostess said as she looked for their reservation and then quickly got menus for them. She smiled sweetly at Sam. “If you’d like to follow me.”

  “Of course,” Sam said and then gallantly gestured for Emmie to go first. Emmie fought to keep smiling even though she didn’t like the way the hostess was flirting with Sam. She told herself she didn’t like the flirting because she didn’t think it was very professional. She wasn’t about to admit to anyone—certainly not to herself—that she might have been a little jealous. Her mood improved as she followed the hostess and was pleased to see they were getting a table by the fireplace. This was what she had requested when she had made the reservation.

  “If there’s anything else you need”—the hostess was looking straight at Sam again—“you just let me know.”

  Sam smiled back at her. “We will. Thank you so much.”

  Watching them, Emmie frowned.

  Sam caught her look. “Is anything wrong?” he asked as he pulled out a chair for her.

  Emmie covered quickly and sat down. “No.”

  Sam looked concerned. “I can get us another table if you like.”

  Now Emmie felt even more foolish. “No, this table is perfect. Sit. Please.” As she watched Sam sit down, she actually couldn’t blame the hostess for flirting with him. Sam was by far one of the most handsome men in the room, and when he smiled, she knew he was hard to resist.

  “Is it because you feel weird being here with me when we’re not a couple?” Sam asked.

  “What?” Emmie replied.

  “Or what is it you said to the hostess?” Sam thought for a moment. “Oh, that’s right. You made sure to tell her that we weren’t together and I wasn’t your boyfriend.”

  Emmie, uncomfortable, picked up her napkin and put it on her lap. “Because you’re not.” She was thankfully saved from having to say anything more when a waiter appeared carrying two glasses of champagne for them.

  Emmie looked confused. “Oh, we didn’t order these. I don’t think they’re for us.”

  The waiter smiled back at her. “It’s compliments of the house. At the Christmas Cabin, we always start our evenings with champagne so you can have a Christmas toast.”

  When the waiter disappeared, Sam picked up his glass and looked at Emmie. “How about we start over.”

  Emmie finally relaxed. “That’s a great idea. Sorry, I think I’m just feeling guilty that Grant’s not here and he’s missing all of this.”

  “That’s honest,” Sam said. “And understandable. So let’s make a toast—”

  “To?” Emmie asked as she picked up her champagne glass.

  “To everyone we love, even those who aren’t with us,” Sam said, and he held out his glass to her.

  She met him halfway but stopped right before touching his glass. “And to Christmas. We should always toast to Christmas.”

  “To Christmas,” Sam said.

  As they clinked glasses, Emmie thought about all the people she loved and knew toasting them with champagne was something she wanted to do now every Christmas.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Outside the Christmas Cabin, a light snow was beginning to fall, with snowflakes dancing with the Christmas lights, making the setting even more magical.

  Inside the cabin, Emmie and Sam were just finishing up their meal. Their dinner conversation had been easygoing and enjoyable. She had been completely entertained listening to Sam’s stories about some of the crazy research he’d done for some of his novels. He put things so vividly, she could totally imagine what he was talking about. She could now understand why he was an author, telling stories for a living.

  She smiled, listening to his latest story about his infamous Christmas tree caper.

  “So, I cut it down,” Sam said. “Right then and there.”

  A loud laugh escaped before Emmie could stop it. She shook her head in disbelief. “No, you didn’t. You cut down your neighbor’s tree?”

  When Sam grinned at her, he had the mischievous look of a little kid. “Actually, it was more like a bush, but it was the closest thing to a Christmas tree my sister and I could find living in L.A. in our neighborhood. Boy, did we get in trouble. But she took most of the blame. She always protected me.”

  “She sounds like a wonderful sister,” Emmie said.

  Sam nodded, smiling. “When I moved to Seattle, she loved coming to visit at Christmas. We could finally get a real tree.”

  Emmie gave him a look. “Tell me you didn’t cut down any of your neighbors’ trees in Seattle.”

  “No.” Sam laughed. “We didn’t have to. There was a Christmas tree lot on every corner, even though we always got a permit and cut down our own tree.”

  Emmie nodded her approval. “Is your sister coming this year for Christmas?”

  Sam’s expression changed. His smile became a sad smile. “No. She passed away last year. She fought hard, but in the end the cancer took her.”

  Emmie reached out and took his hand. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize . . .”

  “It’s okay. I don’t usually talk about it. I’m not sure why I did now. We’re supposed to be enjoying a nice dinner.”

  “It’s okay,” Emmie said as she looked into his eyes. “I understand how hard it is, especially at Christmas.”

  They sat in silence for a few seconds before Emmie continued. “I lost my parents.” She looked down for a moment, fighting back tears. It was happening again. A rush of emotion catching her completely off guard like it had when they were making mom’s Gingerbread Snowballs. She took a deep breath to steady herself. “It was a car accident, and in a second the people I loved the most in the world were gone. Just like that.”

  Sam’s eyes filled with sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Emmie.” He put his hand on top of hers.

  “Me too,” Emmie said. “I don’t usually talk about it, either. I don’t want these tears. I don’t want to be sad. I want to remember all the joy and the love. I like to think the people we’ve lost are still with us, watching down on us, guiding us. Like you said with the Christmas toast.”

  Sam smiled a little. “I like to think that, too.”

  When Emmie realized their hands were still touching, she gently pulled hers away and picked up her phone. “You know this has really saved me.”

  “Your phone?” Sam looked surprised.

  Emmie nodded. “The On Track app everyone gives me such a hard time about.”

  “How?” Sam asked.

  “It was so hard after my parents passed away. The only thing that kept me sane was staying really busy. Any downtime was the worst. I’ve always been a type A person, somebody who is constantly overscheduled, go go go, but after my parents were gone, I could barely think straight. I didn’t know who or what I was anymore. So this app really helped keep me going.”

  Sam looked impressed. “The fact that you could even keep going is pretty amazing.”

  Emmie smiled a little. “I’m sure you’ve learned, too, just what you can do when you really have to.”


  Sam nodded.

  Emmie scrolled through her app and checked her upcoming alarms. She held her phone up and showed Sam. “See everything I have listed here? This app helps me feel like I have some control over my life.”

  “And if you stayed constantly busy . . .”

  Emmie looked into his eyes. “I didn’t miss them as much.” She glanced away, picked up her water glass, and took a small drink before continuing. “I know they would want me to still enjoy this time of year, so I try and honor their memory now by celebrating as much as I can, keeping all our family memories alive.”

  When she looked at Sam and he nodded, she felt like he really understood what she was saying, and it made her feel less alone.

  For a moment, they sat in silence, both lost in their memories.

  When Sam suddenly stood up, Emmie looked surprised.

  “Wait, you’re passing up dessert?” Emmie asked.

  “It can wait,” Sam said. He held out his hand to her. “Come on. I have an idea.”

  This time Emmie didn’t hesitate before taking his hand.

  A HALF HOUR later, Emmie and Sam stood back and admired their creations. They were standing outside in front of the Christmas Cabin, where they had just made three life-size snowmen. The snowmen were side by side. There was a male and a female snowman, with arms made out of branches. A few feet away was another female snowman. They all had eyes, noses, and smiles made from little rocks.

  Sam brushed off his snow-covered gloves. “Not bad if I do say so myself.”

  Emmie laughed. “I can’t believe we just did this. Did you see that last couple who came out of the restaurant? They saw us and thought we were nuts.”

  “Actually,” Sam said, “I think they looked jealous.”

  Emmie laughed louder. She loved the way Sam could always put a positive spin on anything. The snow was still softly falling, and it was the first time she noticed her coat was covered with snowflakes.

  She’d been having so much fun making the snowmen she hadn’t even noticed the snow or the cold. She’d forgotten everything and everyone else except her snowmen.

  “Your sister looks great,” she said, looking over at the lone female snowman. “She’s much more fit than my chubby parents.”

  Sam laughed as he motioned toward the two snowmen standing together. The way the tree branches were arranged, it looked like they were holding hands.

  “I think your parents look perfect, especially your dad. He’s looking quite regal. Like the snowman king.”

  Emmie laughed. “Oh, my dad would love that!” She was still smiling when she looked up at Sam. “Thank you for this.”

  Sam smiled back at her. “Oh, we’re not done yet.”

  Emmie looked surprised. “We’re not?”

  Sam got out his phone. “We need a selfie . . . of the whole family.”

  Emmie laughed, but she was touched.

  Sam, smiling back at her, took her hand and they walked closer to the snowmen.

  “I never joke about Christmas family pictures,” Sam said. When he held up his phone, he pulled her a little closer. “You gotta get in here, or we won’t all fit in the picture.”

  Emmie scooted in closer to him. “How’s this?”

  “Better,” Sam said, checking the framing of the photo in his phone. When he put his arm around her, it felt like the most natural thing in the world for her to put her arm around him, too.

  Sam held the phone up a little higher so all three snowmen were in the background.

  “Are you ready?” he asked.

  Emmie laughed. “I’m ready!”

  Sam pulled her even closer. “Say freeze.”

  Emmie laughed. “Freeze!”

  They were both laughing as Sam snapped the picture. Sam still had his arm around her when he showed it to her.

  Emmie couldn’t believe how picture-perfect it was. Everyone was in focus. The smiles on her and Sam’s faces were genuine. They both looked so relaxed.

  “This is a great picture,” she said and smiled back at him.

  “I’ve got skills,” Sam replied. “Plus, long arms. That helps.”

  Emmie laughed. “Will you send it to me?”

  “Of course,” Sam said. “What’s your number?”

  Emmie took his phone and quickly put her number in it. “There you go.”

  As she handed the phone back to him, they shared a smile, and when their eyes met, something happened to Emmie. For a moment, she forgot about the snowmen, the snow, the restaurant—everything. All she knew was that in that instant she felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be, and nothing else mattered.

  When Sam looked away first and put some space between them, she suddenly felt a chill and shivered.

  “You’re cold,” Sam said. “Let’s get back inside.”

  Emmie opened her mouth to say something but didn’t know what to say. Sam was already heading for the door.

  There were so many emotions whirling around inside her. When she looked over at her snowman parents, she felt comforted. It was like her parents were with her, watching over her and enjoying this moment as much as she was. When she smiled and looked up into the sky, a snowflake landed on her eyelash. She laughed a little as she wiped it away. She wasn’t going to see any stars tonight, but that was okay. She knew she could still make a Christmas wish. She looked over at all the lights on the cabin and heard her dad’s voice telling her she could always wish on the lights, because they were like the stars in the sky. She shut her eyes and wished for more moments like this, when she could remember her parents and feel their love all around her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Sam was heading back to the snowmen.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Did you forget something?”

  “Yeah,” Sam said.

  He ran back over to the snowman that was his sister, took off his scarf, carefully wrapped it around her neck, and kissed her snowman cheek.

  “Love you, Sis,” he said softly.

  When Emmie heard these words, they touched her heart, and she felt tears well up in her eyes. She imagined that Sam had been a wonderful brother. Even now you could see how much he cared.

  “Okay,” he said as he joined her again. “I’m ready now. Let’s go.”

  As they entered the restaurant, Emmie turned around once more and looked at the three snowmen they had created. She knew, even without the picture Sam had just taken, that this was a special moment she would remember forever.

  WHEN THEY GOT back to the inn, Emmie and Sam were both laughing as they came through the front door.

  “I still can’t believe I let you convince me to stop for another dessert!” Emmie said, holding her stomach.

  Sam just grinned back at her. “Yeah, but admit it. That Frosty’s snow cone was totally worth it.”

  Emmie laughed. “All I know is, if I keep eating like this, I’m going to look like one of those snowmen we just made, and they’ll have to roll me back to Seattle!”

  Dasher came running up to them, barking and wagging his tail.

  Emmie and Sam both knelt down to pet him.

  “Did you miss us?” Sam asked Dasher.

  Dasher licked Sam’s face.

  Emmie laughed. “I think that’s a yes.”

  In the living room, they found Ruby sitting by the fire. She gave them a curious look.

  “Well, it looks like you two had a great time at the Christmas Cabin,” Ruby said. “Did you enjoy the dinner?”

  “It was phenomenal,” Sam said. “By far one of the best meals I’ve ever had.” He smiled when he looked over at Emmie, who had walked over to the fire to warm up her hands.

  “It was really something,” Emmie agreed. “I had the prime rib, and Sam tried the elk.”

  “And we started with baked mushrooms stuffed with . . .” Sam struggled to remember.

  Emmie finished for him. “Ricotta. And then we had—”

  “Black Forest cake,” Sam jumped in.

  They smiled at each other
, and then Emmie looked back at Ruby. “It was one of the best nights—I mean, dinners—I’ve ever had, too.”

  Ruby smiled a knowing smile. “That is so good to hear. I feel like it really is a special place, and every time I have sent a guest there, they haven’t been disappointed.”

  “And the decorations were amazing, too,” Emmie said. “I could have stayed there all night looking at everything.”

  “They do have quite the collection,” Ruby agreed.

  “And so do you,” Sam said as he picked up one of the nutcrackers from the bookcase. “This is one of my favorites. I have my own little collection.”

  “Really?” Ruby asked. “Will we be seeing a nutcracker in one of your upcoming books?”

  Sam laughed. “Not that I know of, but then that’s not a bad idea.”

  “The mystery of the nutcracker,” Ruby said. “Has a nice ring to it.”

  Emmie shook her head. “No, please, no nutcrackers.”

  Sam laughed again. “Why not?”

  “Because ever since I was a kid, they kind of freak me out,” Emmie said.

  “What part of them freaks you out?” Sam asked. When he brought the one he was holding over to Emmie and held it up to her, she took a step back.

  “I’m serious,” Emmie said, holding up her hands, putting a barrier between her and the nutcracker. She pointed at the nutcracker. “Just look at that one’s face! See how he’s looking all scary showing off all those teeth and how his mouth turns up at the corners, so it’s almost like he’s smiling.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?” Sam asked, looking genuinely fascinated.

  “When it’s a scary smile, yes,” Emmie answered and took another step back.

  Sam laughed. “Now look who has the imagination. I think you should be writing my next book.”

  “Well, I for one think you’d make a great team,” Ruby said.

  Emmie laughed. “Ha! Maybe making cookies, but I’m no writer.”

  “Never say never,” Sam said. “I think we all have a story in us. Just look at the great Christmas clues you created for the scavenger hunt. I think you’re a better writer than you know.”

  Emmie looked flattered. “Thanks.”

  “Well, I’m really glad you both had such a great time,” Ruby said.