by Hélène Soper
“Luc! Stop torturing me! Please. I need to come.”
This man. Wow, this man knew how to extract extreme pleasure from her. He was going to ruin her for anyone else. Hell, how could there be anyone else after this?
“That’s it, beautiful girl. Almost there.” He continued his expert ministrations, playing her body like one of his guitars.
“Now, Avery, come for me.”
With a gentle scrape of his teeth over her sensitized nub, she exploded. A kaleidoscope of color burned from the inside out, consumed every rational thought and external sensation in its path. She couldn’t see or hear anything other than what was happening inside her own body and even that she couldn’t put to words.
Several aftershocks later, she was able to unravel the jumble of thoughts in her brain. Mostly. Luc kept lapping at her juices, murmuring like a satisfied gourmand, drawing out her bliss. His head tilted up and caught her gaze, his eyes feral with lust.
He flashed her a mouth-watering, ear-to-ear smile. “Spectacular. I wish you could have seen how gorgeous you were when you came. Thank you for trusting me enough to let go.”
“Isn’t that my line, mister?” Her voice was a little hoarse from her screams of pleasure. “I’m not sure where I went just then but man, it sure was a hell of a trip. You, Mr. Christianson, are a very talented man with a thoroughly wicked tongue. Wow.”
“I’m honored milady approves. Now, I can’t wait to get inside of that delectable pussy of yours. Damn, I haven’t felt this hot for anyone in a very long time. You’re going to be the death of me.”
Avery sensed his control had started to slip. He became rougher, more demanding. But this was Luc, she trusted him. He would never hurt her. He only wanted her pleasure, and his. So why did she feel short of breath? Yes, lust had her panting, but there was something else her body was reacting to.
She closed her eyes and tried to center herself. The nightstand drawer opened and a rip of foil punctuated the sound of her panting breaths. Avery wanted Luc inside her. More than anything she wanted to give him pleasure in return for the pleasure he gave her. She could feel his muscular legs pushing hers apart and his iron-hard erection pulse against her stomach. Her womb clenched at the prospect of being filled to the brim with every inch of this spectacular man.
His hands were everywhere, and she could feel her own arousal pushing higher to its peak. An inferno burned in his eyes. She felt beautiful, sexy, desirable. His fingers traced along both sides of her body. She arched to him, trying to position his cock against her entrance, but he swiveled his hips to move just barely away.
“Naughty girl. Not until I say so. You need to learn patience.” He lifted a leg and swatted her ass.
Oh, God. Naughty girl. Slut. Whore. You like it rough don’t you. I’ll show you rough. Those words echoed in her mind, but with a sinister cast to the voice. Cal’s voice. No! This wasn’t Cal. This was Luc. She knew that in her head. So why wasn’t her body listening? Luc raised her arms above her head, brought her hands together and pinned them down under one of his strong hands. Immovable. She couldn’t control her breathing, the roar of blood rushed through her ears, and her vision blurred and black dots danced on the periphery.
“You’re more delicious than I could’ve ever imagined. My cock is so hard for you, Avery. I can’t wait any longer. I need to feel you come when I’m so deep inside you, you won’t know where you stop and I begin.”
Her entire body went rigid and she couldn’t catch her breath. Fuck. Her eyes. She was scared to death. He halted every muscle in his body.
“Avery, beautiful girl, what’s wrong?”
A scream made his blood run cold. He quickly released her hands, lifted his weight off her, and rolled to the side. She shot upright, pulled her knees to her chest, and started rocking.
“Avery,” he tried to keep his voice as calm and soothing as possible, “it’s me, Luc. I’m not going to hurt you. What’s happening? Please talk to me.” He couldn’t make out what she was murmuring and her eyes had a glazed-over look that told him she was trapped inside a terrifying memory. It scared the hell out of him. He stroked her hair and whispered soothing sounds.
After a few minutes, her eyes focused on her surroundings and her shallow breathing became more regular. She looked at him. “Luc?” It was barely audible.
“Yes, Avery, it’s Luc. You’re safe, beautiful girl.”
“Where am I?” She looked around the room, a bit dazed. Then it hit her. “Oh my God, Luc. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me. It’s not you. I swear it’s not you.”
Avery’s eyes were as big as saucers. She avoided his gaze. The blush of embarrassment overtook her rosy glow of arousal. Shit. Something he’d said or did triggered a panic attack. He felt like the worst kind of dick. He knew he was on the brink of losing his shit. He never lost control. She brought out every primal urge he had from possessiveness to wanting to mark her as his like a goddamn caveman. This was more than simple lust from an intense scene. Avery meant something to him. She always did.
She leaped from the bed, swept up her clothes from the floor, and made a beeline for the bathroom. He had to make this right between them, couldn’t let her retreat behind her walls. She needed to feel safe. He needed her to feel safe with him.
“Avery, stop,” Luc commanded. She stopped before crossing the bathroom threshold but kept her back to Luc, shoulders slumped, chin on her chest and stood there trembling. Luc strode to her, allowed his chest and thighs to graze her back and legs, just to let her feel his non-threatening presence. She didn’t move. He took that as a good sign and placed his hands on her hips to add an infinitesimal amount of pressure to hold her body to his. She could easily break his hold if she wanted to. Her body shuddered as she took in a deep, cleansing breath. Luc wanted to drop to his knees and give thanks when she let her clothes fall to the floor, placed her hands over his, and rolled her head back to lean on his shoulder.
“Shhhh, there is nothing to apologize for. You scared the hell out of me, but I’m here with you now. You’re safe with me. I’ve got you.”
He took one of her hands in his and led her back to the bed. He climbed onto it and sat with his back against the headboard and waited. Avery paused, warring emotions flitting back and forth in her eyes. Finally, she edged toward where he sat and allowed him to pull her onto his lap. Her heart was still thumping a staccato beat he could see and feel when she leaned against his chest. He pulled the sheet and blanket to cover them both and tucked it around her shoulders. He laid his arms outside the blankets, holding her gently without encasing her.
“It’s OK now. It’s just Avery and Luc. You’re safe in my arms.”
The trembling slowed only to be replaced by soundless sobs evidenced by warm tears trailing down his bare chest. He caressed her arms and back through the sheet while cradling her head against his chest.
Luc needed Avery to know he would never hurt her or force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. Safe, sane, and consensual. He lived and breathed that creed. But this wasn’t a negotiated scene. And Avery wasn’t his sub. He didn’t know enough about her hard and soft limits and her past to know what her triggers could be.
He’d fucked up.
Big time.
He could only hope she would allow him another chance to prove himself worthy of her submission. Hell, would she want to even see him again after this clusterfuck?
“I’m so embarrassed.” Her ragged voice kicked him in the gut.
“Please, little one, please don’t be embarrassed. I’m so sorry. Whatever I did or said must have triggered a painful memory. Please help me understand. If I know what I did wrong I can make sure I don’t do it again. Would you do me the honor of sharing with me what you were feeling just before the panic set it? Can you talk about it?”
He gently kissed the top of her head and gave her a squeeze with his arms outside the blanket. He didn’t want to frighten her any more than she was,
but he knew she needed to deal with this episode if she was ever going to put the past behind her. Whatever that past was. Gryff’s words echoed in his head about being gentle with her.
Avery curled into him and slipped her arms around his waist, took a deep breath and let it out. Her stiff muscles relaxed a bit and she sank into his hold. Elation ripped through Luc at the small but exponentially significant sign. That and their skin-on-skin contact did more to ease his jangled nerves than she could ever know. It felt so right to have her curled up in his lap, so natural. They just fit together. She kept her head buried into his chest, sighed, and started to speak.
“He used to tie me up.”
“Your ex, Cal?”
“Yes. He would leave me like that for hours. Call me horrible names. Beat me.”
“Ah, hell baby.” Luc rocked them back and forth, trying to ease her pain.
“It didn’t start that way. I guess it never does. I learned enough about Dominance and submission from Gryff and Marlowe to know I’m a sub. They were so patient with all my questions. I was planning on doing the training class, but I met Cal. I believed, maybe hoped, Cal was a Dom and I could learn from him. In the beginning, he was gentle and warm but pretty boring too. I could never seem to get wet enough for him which made him angry. He started to get rougher. At first, I liked it and my body responded. But it escalated insidiously. It got to the point where Cal controlled every aspect of my life and used force to strip me of all my power. The physical manifestation of his control was, relatively speaking, easy to deal with. Skin and bones heal in a finite period of time. But he was a master at humiliation. It was his words that wounded me to the core, not his fists. The vitriol in his voice oozed from every pore in his body.
“Cal was insanely jealous of my friendship with Gryff, though it was never anything more than that. He’s like my big brother. Cal couldn’t or wouldn’t get that through his thick skull. When Cassie was two years old I found out I was pregnant with Cassie’s brother or sister. There was no way I was going to bring another child into that environment. Gryff and I planned how I would tell Cal I was pregnant and was leaving him.
“The day came and Cal came home early from work in a rage. He saw our packed suitcases by the door and just lost it. He hit me across the face, in front of Cassie. I ran to the front door with her in my arms, hoping Gryff would be there. Because Cal got home about an hour early, Gryff hadn’t yet arrived. Cal came up behind me just as I got to the front door. I put Cassie down and tried to move so Cal would follow me away from Cassie. He trapped me near the stairs to the basement and hit me again. I instinctively covered my belly rather than defend my face and he instantly knew. He called me a stupid bitch for getting pregnant again, claimed it couldn’t be his kid, and punched me so hard in the stomach I couldn’t breathe. I tried to catch my breath but lost my footing and fell down the basement stairs. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital with Gryff and my parents by my bed. I lost the baby.”
Rage, sharp and unyielding, bubbled up inside Luc. He wanted to rip that bastard apart for what he’d done to this beautiful woman in front of her young daughter. But that was not what Avery needed. She deserved better from him. The hell she must have lived through. He shook his head in disbelief. Gryff had told him she had come a long way since Cal was locked up. Now he understood what his friend meant.
“Luc?”
“I’m here, beautiful girl.”
“After all the hateful things Cal used to say to me, I thought I was finally at a place in my life where I could actually believe you when you call me that. Until about a half hour ago.”
“You can believe it, Avery. You are beautiful. And sexy and smart and successful and incredibly courageous. I’m so very proud of you. You have a successful career, a beautiful daughter, friends. You should be proud of yourself. He never deserved you.”
Avery took a deep breath and blew it out, relieving more of the tension she was holding in. Her body sank into his hold as she became lost in his fathomless dark eyes.
“I’m so sorry I lost control. My job as a Dom is to be attuned to your body, your signals both conscious and unconscious. I didn’t protect you. I let my own needs and desires take over. Can you forgive me?”
“Please don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to forgive. I wanted you. I still want you, all of you. I know you’re a Dom and I know what that means. I wanted to be ready to be the sub I know I am. I guess I still have some stuff to clear out first before I can be completely comfortable relinquishing control and not be afraid for my safety.”
“Tell you what, you’ve had one hell of a day. Let me hold you. Let your body relax and just go to sleep. You’re safe in my arms.” Luc placed a finger over her lips so she couldn’t object. “Shhhh. This isn’t a race. We’re not going to do anything you’re not ready for. The D/s power exchange is forged through open, honest communication. This is how partners build trust, between each other and trust in themselves. We missed that step. And that’s on me. Still, I learned a lot tonight about your needs and boundaries. I can be quite demanding. I will push you but not more than I think you can handle. It takes a strong woman to submit to a Dominant partner. Dominance isn’t meant to take away that strength. I want to nurture it. Revel in it. Honor it. You’re a strong woman, Avery. Once you believe that in your soul, you’ll be able to effortlessly surrender to me. Then I’ll take you to places you’ve never known, if you’ll let me. Exquisite pleasure will be yours. You. Will. Be. Magnificent.” Each word was punctuated with a sensual kiss along her jawline.
“I want to find that place, Luc. I’d like to find it with you.” Avery let out a big yawn. “I guess my body is ready to call it a night. Thank you for your understanding and patience.”
She burrowed into his side, pressing her cheek against his thumping heart. What he wouldn’t give to erase those horrible memories from her body, from her heart. To make her unequivocally believe what an incredible creature she was.
For this woman he would be patient. His heart opened a crack, enough to allow her brilliant energy to seep into the dark, hidden spaces he’d planned on being buried forever. It was in her, and he was just the Dom to tap into that inner light, that resilience, that strength. He would coax it out from behind the shadows of her past and nurture it so it would blossom to its fullest expression. Yes, Luc knew what he needed to do.
“Come on, beautiful girl, let’s get some sleep.”
Luc moved down the bed so he was lying on his side, head on his pillow. He pulled Avery with him, her back to his front, and anchored her against him with his top arm. She let out a heavy sigh and within minutes he could hear her deep, even breaths of slumber. He nuzzled his face into the back of her neck, filling his lungs with her delicate scent. He let out a contented sigh.
An hour later Luc was still awake. He watched her beautiful face, calm and content in slumber, and kept replaying in his mind what she told him about the night she left that son-of-a-bitch. Warmth infused his chest knowing she felt safe in his arms, safe enough to be able to have a little peace. Still, the torrent in his gut churned.
He carefully pulled his arm out from under her and slowly got up. She made the sweetest little sounds but stayed asleep. Luc made his way downstairs to the family room, grabbed the pillow and blanket from the end of the couch, and turned on SportsCenter. He didn’t like leaving Avery alone in his bed. But, he didn’t want his tossing and turning to disturb her. He was hoping she didn’t notice he didn’t sleep in the bed with her. With everything going on in her life how could Luc possibly explain that his nightmares were unpredictable, and he was afraid of waking her up with his screams? And on top of that, he was sure the last thing Avery wanted to hear was that he hadn’t slept in an actual bed or with anyone since his wife died. Yep, that tidbit of information was best left unsaid. He hoped he could get at least a couple of hours of sleep then crawl back into bed next to her before she woke up.
13
Sometime in the middle
of the night, Avery awoke to voices coming from downstairs. In a half-awake daze, she rolled over to reach for Luc. Instead she found cool sheets and a very big dog. Her first reaction was to panic because she was alone. Very quickly panic slipped into confusion. Rather than hide under the covers, she got up, wrapped herself in a robe that hung on the back of the bedroom door, and walked toward the voices.
She stopped at the top of the stairs and peeked around the corner into the family room. The TV gave off a soft glow, casting tendrils of light about the room. That was where the voices were coming from. Did they forget to turn off the TV? And where was Luc? Avery stopped midway down the stairs when she saw Luc asleep on the sofa, a bent arm covering his eyes. Her appreciative gaze swept over his muscular chest, down his well-defined six-pack to the tops of the notches pointing to hips that were partially hidden by a haphazardly thrown blanket. The sight of him stole her breath.
Her mind went back to hours earlier when those lips and hands explored her body, eliciting sensations that would be seared into her memory for all time. She shivered as she remembered one of the orgasms that had ravaged her body.
Luc was a force of nature, and at the same time made her want to believe all the things he said about how beautiful and sexy she was. Even in high school he oozed raw power. She’d always been drawn to it. To him. He still had that aura, just now it inhabited him as a calm, controlled power that Cal never had. She now understood the difference even if Luc believed he lost control last night.
Avery opened herself to Luc in a way she rarely ever did. He soothed her, didn’t condescend to her, made her feel safe. He seemed to understand the kind of emotional intimacy and physical touch she craved, though she didn’t understand why he hadn’t yet kissed her. On the lips. She wanted to believe their relationship took a big step forward when she’d opened up to him about her past. Hope flickered in her chest. Did Luc want a relationship with her? Did Avery want a relationship with him? Why hadn’t he really kissed her?