Show Me How to Live: Part 1 (Bacchus House)

by Hélène Soper

  But, did this connection run deeper than just D/s? Luc rubbed his fist over his chest. Cracks were forming in the ramparts safeguarding his heart. Why didn’t that scare the shit out of him?

  15

  Two days later, Avery still couldn’t shake the confusion swarming her brain. She’d replayed the morning after her panic attack over in her mind so many times she wasn’t sure the memories were real or figments of her overactive imagination.

  The cool sheets next to her when she awoke were definitely real. Luc’s compassion when she told him her story felt real. Or was wishful thinking overriding her logical brain? Maybe her sob story freaked Luc the hell out, but the gentleman in him made sure she settled down before he headed to the couch for the night. Who bloody well knew why he didn’t sleep with her?

  “Enough!” Avery shook her fists at the ceiling in frustration.

  “Enough of what, girlfriend?” Rae bounded into Avery’s office, plopped herself in one of the guest chairs on the other side of the desk, and crossed her legs, settling in for an extended stay.

  “Nothing. Don’t want to talk about it.” Avery straightened a pile of neatly stacked papers on her desk then shook her mouse to bring her computer back to life, ignoring her friend’s expectant stare.

  “Right. It’s definitely not nothing. You never bite anyone’s head off, yet this morning you made that intern’s lip wobble during the editorial meeting. Good on her for not letting a tear fall in front of everyone, but as soon as she made it to the ladies’ room she let loose. Let’s hope she doesn’t quit. Who will you get to write the obits and notices? You seriously want to go back there?”

  Avery flopped into her chair like her bones had disintegrated. “I hear you. You’re right. I’m just trying to figure something out.”

  Rae enthusiastically rubbed her hands together and perched on the edge of her seat. “Oooh, a conundrum. Can I help?”

  “How long have you been waiting to use that word in a sentence?” Avery’s mood lightened as she couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s satisfied grin.

  “Months. Now, spill it. What’s got your knickers in a twist?”

  Avery blew out a sigh. “Not what, who. Luc Christianson.”

  “What did that bastard do?”

  “It’s not like that, Rae. Or maybe it is. Hell, I don’t know. That’s the problem.”

  She told Rae what happened and what didn’t happen because of her panic attack, and then how she woke up alone. Rae had been a supportive friend and a non-judgmental sounding board while Avery put the pieces of her life back together. She knew how to cut through the crap and tell Avery the truth, even if it hurt a bit. Kind of like a flu shot — a little pin prick in the short term for longer term protection.

  A knock on her open door interrupted her story. The now-sheepish intern carried in a gorgeous bouquet of fresh cut flowers and placed the vase on the corner of her desk. Avery barely got out a thank you before the girl scampered out of her office.

  When was the last time she had gotten flowers? It wasn’t her birthday, and her promotion had been more than a month ago so that couldn’t be the reason. Avery held her breath as she tore open the cello bag protecting the blooms and fished out the tiny envelope that held the card.

  “What’s it say? Who are they from?”

  “How old are you anyway?” Avery marveled at her girlfriend’s exuberance over just about everything in life. She seemed to vibrate with energy like a puppy who figured out how to wag its tail. All she needed to complete the picture were floppy ears and a slobbering tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth.

  Avery avoided Rae’s eyes, pulled the card and read it to herself and giggled.

  Beautiful girl,

  As wonderful as these smell,

  they’re nothing compared to your scent.

  I can’t wait to taste you again. Luc xo

  Heat climbed her neck to her cheeks. Man, she hated when her body betrayed the polished, professional exterior she worked hard at honing. Moisture flooded her folds as she remembered how his tongue lapped at her relentlessly, sending her into another plane of existence with pleasure. The man had serious talent.

  “Oh, now that’s just rude. Throw me a frikin’ bone here!” Rae said as she emphatically waved her hands toward herself, all with a big grin on her face.

  “All right. They’re from Luc.”

  “Does this mean he’s out of the doghouse?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. He gives me the best orgasms of my life then shuts down. He holds me while I ugly cry against his chest then can’t stand to be in the same bed. Now he sends flowers with more than a hint about what he wants. What am I supposed to believe?”

  “Bastard.” Rae shook her head as she sank back down into her chair. “How dare he make you feel like the goddess you are, make you believe he cared about what you went through then leave you cold and alone while he catches up on the latest scores? Dirty rat bastard.”

  “Seriously.” Avery blew out a heavy sigh. “Explain that to my raging hormones. I’m totally pissed at him, but you had to have been there, felt and saw how he looked at me, held me when I crumbled. He looked genuinely surprised when I left the next morning. Now these. I don’t know what to think.” Avery held her head in her hands, elbows propped on the edge of her desk. “We both need to get back to work. That will get me focused on something other than Luc Christianson.”

  “OK, I’ll drop it for now. But, if he hurts you, I will personally kick his ass!”

  “You’ll have to get in line behind me,” bellowed Gryff’s alpha male cop voice. “Whose ass are we going to kick, Rae?” The corners of his mouth were curling up as he chuckled at the photographer.

  Rae jumped up at the deep growl behind her. Amusement shined in Gryff’s eyes. Rae peeled herself off the ceiling and punched him in the shoulder.

  “Your dumbass buddy, Mr. Wineguy.”

  “Oh shit. What did Luc do?” Gryff said as he sat in Rae’s chair without taking his gaze from Avery’s face.

  “Don’t you have somewhere to be, work to do?” Avery glared at her girlfriend across the room.

  “OK, boss, I’m going. But this little discussion between me and you,” she wagged her finger back and forth between them, “isn’t over by a long shot, sista.” She spun on her heel and headed out of the office with a flourish. “Catch you later cop-boy.”

  “Not if I catch you first, babe.”

  Rae and Gryff flirted mercilessly, but they both knew it was all in fun. Gryff regarded Rae like he did Avery, a little sister and good friend. Gryff waved goodbye to Rae and refocused on Avery.

  “What did I walk in on?”

  No way would she discuss what happened with Luc’s best friend. Plus, Gryff had witnessed enough of her ups and downs with Cal. She was determined to not lean on him like that anymore. Sure, she knew if she needed him, Gryff would be by her side before she could utter the request. This was about her pride. She could stand on her own two feet and get up on her hind legs if needed. Sometimes a girl just needed to vent to a girlfriend who would commiserate and not disclose where the bodies were buried.

  “Nothing, girl stuff.” Avery waved her hand dismissively in the air.

  Gryff shook his head — he knew when she was hiding something. Thankfully he also knew when not to push. “Whatever you say, doll. You know where to find me when you’re ready to talk.”

  Avery sighed. “Yes, I know, thank you. I think I can handle this one. What brings you by?”

  “Your new security system is all set to go. Are you about ready to call it a day? I can take you home and show you how it all works.”

  While she appreciated staying at her parents’ house the past few nights, she was tired of their constant hovering. It was an omnipresent reminder of the threats and that Cal was out from behind bars, somewhere. That said, being back in her own home also meant being alone. Even though the new security system reassured her, she wasn’t sure she would be able to sleep. She ha
d to make sure Cassie didn’t pick up on her fear. Her top priority was to make sure Cassie’s world was as normal and happy as possible.

  “Great. I have a few emails to return then I’ll be ready to go. Do you mind hanging out for fifteen minutes or so?”

  “No problem. I’ll be back in a few.” He got up and headed out of her office.

  Turning back to her computer, Avery focused on a message from her crime reporter that outlined the latest updates on a local political corruption story. It seemed like he was making progress, still, Avery’s gut told her there was more to the story. He wouldn’t be happy, but she wasn’t going to risk the paper’s reputation, or hers, on a story that wasn’t as accurate as it could be. That’s what being city editor was all about. She just needed to suck it up and do what she knew was right.

  Before she could click send, an email from Luc popped into her inbox. Her breath caught in her throat. What this man did to her. She tried to calm herself before clicking open the message. Avery didn’t know what to make of this. It appeared like a blasted email advertising a Canada Day event at Sky Hill Winery. Then she saw it at the bottom:

  Hope you and Cassie can join us.

  My family will be there.

  So will Gryff’s. Bring your parents too.

  Thinking about you. Luc xo

  Avery liked the warmth that enveloped her. He was thinking about her. Ok. He earned a few more points but not quite enough to get out of her doghouse. Yet.

  “That’s the smile I like to see.” Gryff stood in her office doorway, leaning against the frame.

  Avery looked up and blushed. She didn’t acknowledge his chuckle at her expense, just went about shutting down her computer, putting away multi-colored pens and a stapler, returning a stack of files to her cabinet, positioning her phone so it lined up with her monitor before shoving a few folders into her bag, satisfied that her office was go-home-ready.

  “Let’s go.”

  Avery’s heart swelled with love for her daughter and her friend. As much as love surrounded her, for which she was eternally grateful, she knew something was missing. She wrapped her arms around herself, remembering how Luc comforted her. More than that, the desire brimming in his eyes had smoldered. Also there, in equal measure, was genuine caring and concern for her well-being.

  Excitement supplanted anxiety as Avery considered the possibilities. Luc had invited her family to the Canada Day celebration at Sky Hill. He wouldn’t have done that if he couldn’t handle her past, or her present stalker for that matter. Could Luc be the Dom who would guide her on her submissive journey? Was she even ready to travel that path?

  Lord knew Avery was attracted to Luc. That was the understatement of the year. He ignited an inferno she didn’t know she was capable of experiencing. What a revelation. Now, that intense heat Luc unmasked was as necessary as air. She couldn’t go through life and not feel that way again.

  The word yes bubbled up from deep in her belly. She’d hidden behind her work, her daughter, and her past long enough. It was time to take a risk on her future. Her inner warrior goddess fist pumped her decision. But could Avery trust her to protect her self-respect? Would she be strong enough to walk away if Luc’s behavior threatened her independence? Time to walk into her future.

  16

  The scent of fresh cut grass carried on a gentle breeze as Luc and his dad walked the grounds surrounding the winery, confirming the event was set up according to their specifications. Cicadas and bullfrogs competed for aural supremacy in the stand of trees bordering the vineyard. A bead of sweat tracked down Luc’s back and the heat of the day was just beginning. Luc looked heavenward and quietly thanked his mom for arranging Mother Nature’s cooperation on this important day.

  Billy put his hand on his son’s shoulder. “She would be so proud of you, son. How you’ve taken over here, like you were born to do the job.”

  Luc smiled at his dad. “Well, I guess I was after all.”

  It was a good day.

  July 1, Canada Day, was always a happy occasion for the Christianson family and for everyone who worked at Sky Hill. Except last year — it was a somber reminder that Luc’s mother, Maryse, had lost her battle with cancer only months before.

  Billy and Maryse’s love was one for the ages — powerful, true, and never-ending. The condo in Florida was supposed to be for their retirement. Together. Though Billy spent the coldest part of the winter down there to grieve and begin to heal from his unfathomable loss, Luc knew his dad couldn’t retire from his life’s work. Sky Hill was part of Billy’s DNA. While Luc was now in charge of day-to-day operations of the company, he would always find ways to make his dad feel important, needed, and appreciated. Billy claimed he wanted to be on hand for the visitor season and harvest, just in case Luc or Gen needed him in this transition year. Or so he said. Maybe he needed to be back on the farm to feel connected to his late wife. And this annual celebration was a way to honor her loving memory.

  Luc hoped Avery accepted his invitation to join the celebration and bring Cassie and her parents too. The weight of his own grief lightened when Avery smiled at him. Who was he kidding, he was excited to see Avery’s beautiful eyes looking up at him when he revealed his surprise.

  He normally wouldn’t be that guy — big romantic gestures to sweep a woman off her feet. Hell, Master Luc only had to glare and nod his head to the floor to have a sub kneeling at his feet. But he didn’t want any sub, he craved Avery. She was the one he wanted to claim, to proudly display his marks of ownership, to wear his collar. Desire flared hot. His fingertips pulsed, along with his cock, itching to caress her silky skin. Luc shoved his hands in his pockets in an attempt to hide his obvious arousal from his dad.

  “Uh oh, here comes trouble.” Billy chuckled and pointed toward the parking lot.

  “With a capital T.” Luc glanced at his watch and shouted to Gryff as he approached where they stood. “You’re early. You know what that means. I’m putting you to work.”

  “Bring it on,” Gryff playfully challenged with both hands waving toward himself and a boyish grin on his face.

  “I’ll leave you two boys to it. See you later.” Billy headed off toward the winery.

  Luc jumped at the chance to put his buddy to work. He helped the staff move the last few tables and chairs into place, lugged bags of ice to the portable wine bars out on the grass surrounding the stage and other manly tasks designed to keep him out of trouble. The girls on staff at the winery always swooned when Detective Gryffin Calder showed up and made it his personal mission to let them know in no uncertain terms how dazzling they each were. Man, the guy was smooth. Luc also knew how to make a woman swoon. Well, he used to.

  Maybe it was time to flex those muscles again. Avery’s eyes and body telegraphed how she felt about him. Desire burned bright, crowding out her irises and hardening her nipples to pebbles when he touched her, and she didn’t try to hide it. Conversely, when she was pissed at him her stiff muscles flinched like she couldn’t stand his touch. More than once over the past few days he’d wondered why she left him standing in the kitchen the other morning like she couldn’t run out the door fast enough. What had changed from when she fell asleep in his arms? Had she still been embarrassed about her panic attack?

  The thought of what that fucker did to Avery and Cassie made Luc want to pound the ever-loving shit out of him. Martial arts had taught Luc discipline and to use his skills in defense, not offense. But if he could get Cal alone, mano a mano, he would unleash every lesson he ever learned so the bastard could feel what repeated blows to the head and body actually felt like.

  Avery’s resilience, her independence, and determination to create a loving, stable home for her and Cassie was intoxicating. She didn’t need him to take care of her. So. Fucking. Sexy. But this wasn’t a simple case of lust. He wanted to earn Avery’s trust and her respect so she would let him support her, stand by her side, catch her if she stumbled. Had she ever been able to rely on someone? Would she allow hi
m to show her he could be that guy?

  Luc and Sydney had forged a bond of trust creating the environment for Syd to flourish. That was what he wanted for Avery. With Avery. Could she trust any man after the hell she and Cassie had been through at the hands of her ex? Actions spoke. His actions had triggered a panic attack. He still felt like the biggest asshole on the planet for letting his control slip. He was better than that. Now he had to prove it to Avery.

  A little girl’s exuberant squeal pulled Luc’s attention toward the parking lot. The sun’s golden hue danced on Avery’s soft, wavy tresses as they flowed behind her in the breeze. Her daughter held her hand though it seemed more like a tether anchoring the little pixie to the earth as her pink and green frilly skirt flounced with each leap and skip. Cassie’s joy was infectious. Luc felt his cheeks bunch as a wide smile spread across his face the closer they got to where he stood, watching, waiting.

  “Mommy, look at the bouncy castle! Can we go there first? I want to jump and jump and jump.”

  “Hold on there, sweet pea. First, we need to say hello to Luc and his family and thank him for inviting us. Then you can go bounce. OK?”

  Cassie let out a defeated sounding, “Oh kay,” while her grandparents both smiled.

  “Uncle Gryff!” Cassie squealed with delight as she took off at full speed across the lawn to jump into Gryff’s strong arms. Luc thought he heard a collective “aww” from the female staff when Gryff bent down, scooped Cassie up like she weighed nothing, hoisted her above his head with his arms outstretched, and spun them both in dizzying circles, all the while both of them giggling. Some big, badass Dom Gryff was now.

  Luc could still feel Ella in his arms, hear her peals of laughter. Every molecule in his living form still held an emptiness that only Syd and Ella could fill. But the pain didn’t consume him, rob him of his breath, like it used to. Instead, Cassie awakened a yearning for peace in his soul. He knew what it felt like to be filled with happiness. For his heart to be bursting with so much love for his girls he didn’t think he could contain it.