by Beth Wiseman
Lizzie stuffed her hands in the pockets of her robe.
Esther could see her sister’s wheels spinning.
* * *
Naomi was relieved when Esther told her Amos had grabbed some bacon before he left this morning. He told them he wanted to get an early start on replacing the rotten slats on the barn.
She’d almost kissed Amos last night, and she dreaded having to face him today. But he’d surely come in for dinner, and she couldn’t avoid him forever. For now, she would be alone with Lizzie and Esther. She wondered if they’d seen Thomas the night before.
After the three of them bowed in prayer, Lizzie picked up her fork and pointed it at Naomi. “You’re making a mistake letting Amos slip away to go back to Thomas, if that’s what you’re doing.” Then she whispered under her breath. “Because Thomas is a cad.”
Esther huffed. “Lizzie, what did we talk about? This is not our concern.”
“Well, he is.” Lizzie was back to shifting her teeth around in her mouth, but she glowered at Naomi. “You deserve better.”
Naomi put her fork on her plate and slouched into her chair. Placing a hand over her forehead, she said, “I’ve been miserable since Thomas left, and now he’s back. Can’t you be happy for me?” She was tempted to tell Lizzie—who was far worse than Esther—to stop meddling in her life, but she loved the woman too much to be that disrespectful.
Lizzie lifted her shoulders then dropped them slowly. “Did he at least offer an explanation for why he left in the first place? Or what brought him back?” She peered at Naomi in such a way that it caused her chest to tighten. Naomi remained silent.
“At the wedding we all heard he was seeing someone new. Is he only back now because that woman broke up with him? Are you his second choice? Naomi, did you have any conversation with Thomas, or did you just open your arms and let him waltz back into your life?”
Esther tapped her palm to the table. “Lizzie, stop!”
Naomi opened her mouth to respond, but her bottom lip was trembling so badly, she pushed back her chair and left the kitchen. As she ran upstairs, she heard Esther and Lizzie arguing. She closed her bedroom door and sat on the bed holding her head in her hands. She’d been so caught up in the moment that she’d barely considered any of the things Lizzie mentioned, especially about the other woman. Maybe she didn’t want to hear the answers. But could she really get back together with Thomas without having that uncomfortable conversation?
As much as she wanted to put everything behind her and resume where they’d left off, she knew she couldn’t. Even after the unpleasant talk, would Naomi always worry that Thomas would leave again? Was he settling for his second choice?
* * *
Amos tried to stay focused as he held a level up against a board he’d replaced on the barn wall, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Naomi. It was probably good Thomas had shown up, for Amos’s sake. He’d let his guard down, and Naomi had punctured his resolve a little. But he’d get over it, even though he worried about her. She took the guy back so quickly, without the slightest hesitation. Would he leave her again? Amos didn’t think her heart could take it.
He held a nail between his lips as he hammered another one into the wood. After taking his last swing and getting the nail flush with the board, he heard the door of the barn open. He hesitated before he turned around. Naomi might feel like she had to explain herself, but that was a conversation he didn’t want to have. When he turned around, however, he saw Lizzie.
Amos took the nail from his mouth. “Wie bischt.”
Lizzie walked to the workbench and sat on the stool in front of it. “Do you have any feelings for Naomi?” She had her teeth in, but she wasn’t smiling, and the lines running across her forehead deepened as she frowned. “I mean, more than just being friends?”
Amos pushed back the rim of his hat, searching for a response since Lizzie had caught him off guard. “I-I don’t know Naomi very well.”
She waved an arm in his direction, as if she were swatting at a fly. “Ach, I know that. And I know you will always miss your fiancée. But I thought I saw a spark between the two of you, and I want you to tell me if I was wrong.”
Naomi had warned him about Lizzie and Esther and how they loved to play matchmaker, so he wasn’t sure how much to say. The older woman’s sad eyes and forlorn expression tugged at his heart.
“I guess I thought maybe there was a spark.” He cringed, fearing his honesty might not be the way to go. “But her fiancé showed up last night while we were painting.” He swallowed hard. “And it was pretty clear she wants to be with him.”
“He’s a cad, that Thomas.” Lizzie pinched her lips together as she squinted her eyes. “He’ll leave her again, no doubt about it.”
Amos’s pulse sped up, which was confusing. He’d already talked himself out of caring for this woman he barely knew. But when he thought about Thomas leaving again, he couldn’t stand it.
“Why do you think he’ll leave her again?” Amos had already had the thought, but he was curious to hear Lizzie’s opinion.
“If you love someone the way I loved Reuben—that was mei husband—you don’t leave that person.” Lizzie blinked back tears. “Naomi is very upset with me right now. I told her how I felt, that Thomas isn’t a gut man to do what he did to her, and that he’d do it again.” She reached into her apron pocket and took out a tissue. After she dabbed at her eyes, she said, “Naomi ran to her bedroom and doesn’t want to talk to me or Esther.”
Amos took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “I’m sure Naomi wants everyone to share her happiness that Thomas is back.”
Lizzie shook her head, frowning again. “I can’t do that.”
“What if you’re wrong? What if they get married and live long,happy lives together like you and Reuben?” Amos didn’t get a good feeling about Thomas, the way he’d reclaimed Naomi as if he hadn’t ripped her heart to shreds. But Amos had blamed the thought on his being a little jealous of Thomas.
“I hope I am wrong.” Lizzie sniffled before she blew her nose. “Me and Esther love Naomi. We don’t want to see her hurt again. But I went too far at breakfast this morning.” A tear rolled down her cheek as she batted her eyes at Amos. “Could you talk to her?”
Amos’s chest tightened. He wanted to do whatever he could for Lizzie so she wouldn’t be so sad, but he wasn’t the right person to talk to Naomi about this. “Uh . . . maybe one of her close friends should be the one to talk to her. What about Mary, the woman in the daadi haus?”
Lizzie shook her head. “Nee, Naomi and Mary aren’t close. At least not close enough that Mary would feel comfortable talking to her.”
“I’m sure she’s a lot closer to Naomi than I am. What about other girlfriends?” Amos couldn’t possibly have a conversation with Naomi about Thomas. It wasn’t his business. He wanted to tell Lizzie that he just worked here and wasn’t onboard to help with family problems.
“Naomi distanced herself from her friends after Thomas left. Most of them were already married, and I guess Naomi didn’t feel like she fit in. Her closest friends had been involved in planning the wedding, and they all tried to be there for her after Thomas left, but Naomi closed herself off more and more.” She paused, sniffling.
“Amos, I’ve seen Naomi smile more since you’ve been here than she has since Thomas left. I know you don’t know each other very well, and maybe there was a spark or maybe not, but since you’re not as emotionally involved as Esther and me, it would mean the world to us if you would talk to her.”
He couldn’t admit to Lizzie what he refused to admit to himself—that he was more emotionally involved than he cared to be. When another tear slipped down the older woman’s cheek, Amos didn’t think he could deny her request.
“Please,” she said before dabbing at her eyes with the tissue.
Sighing, Amos said, “Ya, okay.”
Fifteen
Esther peered out the window, then held both hands to her ch
est when Lizzie walked out of the barn grinning like she’d won a prize. Her sister gave her a thumbs-up as she paraded her way to the house. Amos must have agreed to talk to Naomi. Esther scurried to the door and tugged it open, pushing the screen wide so Lizzie could come in.
“He’s going to talk to her.” Lizzie bounced up on her toes after she’d crossed the threshold and Esther had closed the door. Esther wished she was as nimble as her much smaller and energetic sister. Maybe she would be when she found out what was wrong with her and got it taken care of. She forced away thoughts about her health since it always wrapped her in a blanket of fear.
Esther stepped closer to her sister and tipped her head to one side. “Have you been crying?” She raised her chin. “What exactly did you say to that boy?” Lifting an eyebrow, she said, “I hope you didn’t lie.”
“Ya, I have been crying. I’m upset about the way I talked to Naomi.” She squeezed her eyes closed and flinched before she looked back at Esther. “Maybe I poured it on a little thick, but I didn’t lie. Naomi doesn’t want to talk to either of us.”
“We haven’t gone upstairs and tried yet.” Esther had agreed to Lizzie’s plan of asking if Amos would talk to Naomi. It seemed a good way to kill two birds with one stone. Hopefully he could smooth things over where Lizzie was concerned, since she had gone too far this morning. And it couldn’t hurt for the two for them to spend a little alone time together and talk.
Lizzie waved a dismissive hand at Esther. “It doesn’t matter. The boy said he will talk to her.” She put a finger to her lips when they heard the barn door shut. Esther made a mental note to ask Amos if he could adjust the old door so it didn’t slam so hard.
She felt a little sorry for Amos when he walked into the living room. He was fidgeting with his hands, and his expression reminded her of someone about to walk the plank on a ship.
“Is now a gut time?” Amos took off his hat and clutched the rim.
Lizzie pulled out a tissue and dabbed at her eyes, and Esther fought the urge to roll her eyes since Lizzie hadn’t shed a tear since she’d walked in the house.
“Ya, I think the sooner the better.” Lizzie lowered her head, sniffling.
Esther believed Lizzie was regretful about being so hard on Naomi and knew the tears she’d shed earlier were probably real. But she also believed her sister had been correct about pouring it on a little thick. Either way, Amos walked to the stairs.
“In our day it wouldn’t be proper for a man to go into a young woman’s bedroom,” Esther said when Amos was out of earshot. “But I trust Naomi. And strangely, I trust Amos too.” Esther had never trusted Thomas. Something about him had always bothered her, even though she hadn’t been able to put her finger on it.
She said a silent prayer that, at the very least, Amos would be able to lift Naomi’s spirits and that she would be forgiving when it came to Lizzie. She couldn’t help also asking the Lord to maybe give them a little push toward something more than friendship, if it was His will.
* * *
Naomi was still crying when there was a knock at her bedroom door. “Can we please talk later?”
“Uh, it’s me.”
She sat up and swiped at her eyes. “Now isn’t a gut time, Amos.” She tried unsuccessfully to control the shakiness in her voice.
“Are you decent? I’m coming in.”
A conversation with Amos was the last thing she wanted or needed, but before she could object, he opened the door and left it ajar as he entered her bedroom.
“I’m fine. I really am,” she said through her tears as she reached for a tissue on her bedside table. “Lizzie and I had words, and . . .” She paused, sniffling. “Did she send you up here?”
Amos took off his hat, held it in front of him, and nervously turned it in circles. Naomi was sure this wasn’t his idea.
“It doesn’t matter if she did or not. Can I stay for a few minutes?” He sat in the rocking chair, still clutching his hat with both hands, before she could respond. “Lizzie and Esther love you. They’re just worried about you.”
This was proof enough that Lizzie had told Amos what happened, and she’d likely prodded him to do her bidding. “I love them, too, but they aren’t happy that Thomas returned. They’re convinced he will leave again.” She avoided the intensity of his gaze, feeling like she’d shared too much already.
“What do you think?” His voice was so tender that Naomi wanted to run into his arms, mostly because she needed a friend and a hug.
She couldn’t look at him. Lizzie’s remarks had hit her hard and caused her to think about things she hadn’t wanted to face. Finally, she looked at Amos.
“I think he got cold feet about getting married. I think he spent time with another woman and then realized he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I owe us a second chance at love.” She paused, dabbing at another tear that escaped down her cheek. “I just want someone to be happy for me.”
* * *
Amos took a deep breath. If she didn’t stop crying, he was going to have to go sit by her on the bed and hug her. She was breaking his heart in a whole new way. “I’m happy for you.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t completely truthful either.
She locked eyes with him and held his gaze for a long time. “Amos, you almost kissed me.”
He nodded. “Ya, I did. I think you are a beautiful woman, and despite mei desire not to get involved with anyone, I like you. I surprised myself.” Now he was telling the truth. “But things have changed, and I know that.” He scratched his head. “I tried to put myself in your shoes and picture how I would feel if Sarah showed up the way Thomas did. I know that’s not possible, but after thinking about it, I know I would have run to her without hesitation.”
“But she didn’t leave you voluntarily.” Naomi’s bottom lip trembled as she spoke.
As memories of Sarah flooded his mind, he reminded himself that he was here for Naomi. “Nee, she didn’t. But I do believe in second chances.” It was true, although he had doubts about Thomas staying. He couldn’t tell her that and rub more salt in her wound.
“What if I’m his second choice?” She kept her eyes fused with his.
She was facing the hard questions without Amos having to pose them, and for that he was thankful. “Or your first scenario could be correct, that he got cold feet and has returned to the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.” Amos had no plans to interfere with a reconciliation between Naomi and Thomas. He’d already made a mistake by almost kissing her and opening his heart to possibilities he hadn’t considered before he met her.
“I want to believe I’m his first choice. But how do I know he won’t leave me again?” Her eyes beckoned for an answer that would soothe her soul, but love can be complicated. Lying to her wouldn’t help.
“You don’t know. That’s where trust comes in.”
“I trusted him before,” she responded right away, a hint of anger rising to the surface. “But I don’t want to play games or pretend I don’t love him. I don’t want to make him jealous either.”
“I think you already did last night.” Amos grinned briefly as he recalled Thomas’s attitude. “But your true feelings will show, and he’ll get comfortable with the fact that I’m staying here for a while.” Amos wondered if he’d get comfortable seeing her with Thomas, or even being around her and knowing she was off limits now. Later he’d calculate how much longer he’d have to stay to complete the list of jobs he’d committed to.
Naomi stared at him long and hard. “Are you comfortable staying here?”
Had she seen into his thoughts, felt the pang of regret in his heart? “Ya, absolutely,” he lied. She didn’t need anything else to worry about, and he didn’t want things to be awkward between them. As much as he’d dreaded coming upstairs to have this conversation, maybe this was the best thing that could have happened.
“Lizzie is pretty upset and sorry for the way she talked to you,” he said when her mind seemed to trail away.
“I think you need to talk to her, maybe let her off the hook.”
Naomi smiled a little, even though she was still sniffling and blotting her eyes with a tissue. “Ya, I know. Lizzie’s heart is always in the right place, but sometimes she’s too outspoken. And Thomas just arrived. I’m still trying to wrap mei mind around that.”
They were quiet for a few seconds, and Amos knew her thoughts must be all over the place. “I’m still going to paint in the evenings. I’m determined to get that sunset right.” Painting had always been calming to him. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it until now. “You’re welcome to join me tonight if it isn’t raining. I heard Lizzie say the forecast had changed, less chance of rain for the next few days.”
She cleared her throat and lowered her eyes. “Actually, I’m having supper with Thomas tonight. I’ll prepare the meal for you, Lizzie, and Esther, but then Thomas is taking me to eat pizza.” She began to blush with her eyes still cast down.
Amos winced as he struggled to hide his disappointment. “That’s great.” He stood up and put on his hat. Naomi lifted herself from the bed, and walked toward him, close enough that he caught a whiff of lavender, maybe her lotion.
“Danki for coming to talk to me. I’ll say something to Lizzie and assure her I’m okay.” Pausing, the hint of a smile crept onto her face. “And danki for not making things awkward between us.”
“You’re welcome. Enjoy your supper.” He quickly turned and left before his expression revealed the awkwardness he did feel.
* * *
By the time the supper hour was upon them, Esther was glad she didn’t have to take Gus any pie. He’d have to make do with the smooshed one. She’d spit up blood twice during the day and wasn’t very hungry, but she struggled to eat some beans and rice so Lizzie wouldn’t question her. Her sister had once told her she didn’t think she could live if anything happened to Esther. It was a dramatic thing to say, even for Lizzie, but Esther knew it would be a huge blow to Lizzie if something was seriously wrong with her. Lizzie was as brave as a lion when it came to her own health, but she turned to mush when others were ill.