by M J Marstens
She smacks into my invisible shield, like a bird into a window. I cringe in fake sympathy. . . what the hell was she thinking? Did she seriously think she was stronger than a bullet?!
Oh.
That’s a sobering thought.
She hurtles herself back at me and this time when she strikes the bubble, it pops. She wastes no time wrapping her white, glowing hands around my throat and squeezes. I’m scared and try clawing at her eyes. But the sensitive orbs are out of my reach. So I go for the next sensitive spot:
I reach around and shove my fist into her ass, my thumb leading the charge.
Now normally, I would never assault someone via the ass. Amendment: I wouldn’t purposely assault someone, anyway. But desperate times call for desperate measures. . . let’s just hope the petty cuntcushion doesn’t get off to this shit or she would be orgasming over my death.
Seriously. Fucked. Up.
This whole situation.
Luckily, a surprise fist in the butt hole does take her off guard. She loosens her hold from around my neck and I gasp in big, greedy gulps of air. Unluckily, we both lose focus and drop from the sky like raindrops. I have the foresight to soften our landing by manifesting a mattress underneath us.
But it does nothing to stop my fist from shoving up further into her ass.
That, coupled with my naked body and us lying on a mattress, makes it look like we are shooting some desert porno.
Fleetingly, I wonder how much desert porn is going for these days.
Not enough to convince me to stick around.
I push off Lina and try to run, but she catches my leg and we once again become an entwined mass of writhing limbs. Trust me, it’s not nearly as sexy as it sounds. Back and forth we scuffle. . . but an interesting pattern begins to emerge. One minute Lina would be glowing with power; the next, she was an ashy ghost of her former self.
Like Nyam had been.
Bright, then dull.
Then bright again.
Continually.
At first, I thought fighting was weakening her and that she was feeding from me to gain strength. . . except. . . my energy never waned.
No, this was something else. The fluctuations were erratic, yet consistent. . . like. . . like the Moon! The Moon is the fastest moving body in the heavens, astrologically speaking, because of its close orbit with Earth. The Moon changes houses and signs more than most women did underwear. . . Also, Mrs. Gerty had mentioned that time moves faster in other dimensions. . .
Moon (aka Lina) is simply ingress!
Ingress is when a planet enters a new sign or house. In this case when they are compatible with the moon, like Pisces or the twelfth house, Lina is strengthened; but when the moon enters an incompatible house or sign, Lina is weakened!
Understanding this, I must work to fight her off before the moon enters its domicile and she becomes hypsoma. I can barely handle her now and only because she is fluctuating in her powers. A true boost might spell my doom. Right now, my only advantage is my consistent energy levels.
I know I need to find Caed, but I think it might be a better idea to jump ship and get the hell out of this dimension. It’s probably my only true shot at survival. Right now, Lina is weak because we are physically fighting. Normally, Lina would have already manifested a machete and slashed my throat. Something she could have done earlier, but clearly she enjoys toying with me. . .
Her loss.
My definite gain.
I deliver a childish side-kick to her head, but my foot only connects with silvery light.
Fuck.
Ingress time is over.
We are now in the era of Lina’s exaltedness.
CHAPTER 26
ZAHRA
Lina’s light is the brightest I have ever seen it. . . making me wonder how much power she has when she is in her domicile. . .
Note to self: no visiting her realm and making house calls.
I realize then she has my foot in her hand. . . and a syringe of who-the-fuck-knows in the other. And her physical strength has tripled. I can barely wriggle my toes. I look around frantically, hoping an answer to this current clusterfuck pops up.
I mean, I’m Venus, with Sun’s powers. . . that should count for something right?
Except I remember Venus and Sun are currently semi-squared. . . and my powers are opposing one another, rather than working together.
Queen Coo Coo laughs just the way I imagine a petty cuntcushion would.
Heady on her own power.
Newsflash: nobody likes an arrogant Bitchhole.
Trust Tree sisters, can I get a-
Trust Tree sisters? Goddammit, you guys! Get your asses back here! She hasn’t killed me yet! Have you read the words ‘The End’?!
Not cool, ladies. Not. Cool.
“He’s not here,” Lina tells me in a derisive voice.
Of course, I have no idea who she is talking about since I’m chatting to a nonexistent group of lady-friends in my head.
“Um. . .who’s not here?” I ask, stalling.
And by stalling, I mean my inevitable death. But you will keep reading.
She picks me up by my ankle and walks me away from the mattress. I’m dangling upside down and she handles me like I’m lighter than a feather.
“Your little blue friend,” she finally answers me.
Aaaahhhhh. . . okay. . . don’t know why she thought I was looking for my donated vibrator. . .
“And he will not save you,” she concludes.
I have a fleeting image of a dildo wrapped in a red cape before I hear Lina screaming. She drops me to the ground, but seems frozen. . . in fear. She is staring behind me and I’m afraid to turn around. . . I feel like if Queen Coo Coo is afraid, so should you be. . .
When nothing happens, I direct my gaze away from her horrified face to my periphery. Not seeing anything, I suck it up and slowly turn my head to the side. I see some shoes. . . but no discernable legs. . . or even body. . . everything appears to be cylindrical. . . and blue.
You guessed it, Trust Tree gal pals.
I manifested a living vibrator, complete with spindly, blue, rubber arms, a rubber face near the top, and even the red cape.
Ol’ Super Blue, here to save the day.
I look back and forth between the giant sex toy and Lina. She hasn’t moved. Super Blue just keeps grinning at her stupidly.
“Whatthefuckisthat?” She says in a jumbled rush.
“Looks like an oversized dildo to me,” I answer nonchalantly.
Super Blue takes that moment as his cue to wave, flopping a Gumby-like arm up and down. Lina visibly shudders.
“Aw, you don’t like him?” I ask.
Her response: back away.
“Come back, he just wants a hug!” I continue to tease.
At the word ‘hug’, Super Blue begins to vibrate. The scenario has now turned into equal parts hilarious and disturbing.
“Blue, give Lina a hug,” I command.
For something with no legs and made entirely of rubber, it can move. Somehow. And it’s fast. Before Lina or I can even blink, Super Blue has its arms around her in a fierce bear hug. It picks her up and the vibrating increases.
Super Blue seems to like Lina.
Go figure.
It might be the only one.
“Put me down! Put me down!” The lunar goddess shrieks.
“Don’t listen to her,” I yell over her. “She’s just shy. She really wants you to hug her harder and never let go!”
Lina kicks out with her legs, but it does nothing but unbalance them. Super Blue stumbles forward a bit, and then falls over onto the mattress.
On top of Lina.
Blue is vibrating so much that the mattress is actually moving along the ground.
“Mercy!” Lina suddenly cries. “Please, I beg you, mercy.”
I ponder this for a moment. Never thought I’d see the day when Bitchhole would beg me for her life. Do you think she would grant me the same courtes
y if I begged?
Didn’t think so.
I look down at her pinned under the undulating rubber form, “Fortunately for you, my first name is Mercy.”
“Great,” she gasps. “Now get this fucking thin-”
I cut her off, “Unfortunately for you, my middle name is Less. And my last name is Hashtag No Pity for Bitchholes.”
And with that, I turn around and envision a portal to the seventh dimension. The portal yawns open effortlessly and I derive a moment of pride in it. I take one look back and notice Lina’s eyes are rolling back in her head. With any luck, she will orgasm to death. What a fucking way to go though, right?
“Alright, it’s been real, but I gotta go. You enjoy ol’ Blue. He’s ribbed for your pleasure.”
And without a parting remark, I jump into the inky hole of space and time, finally getting the hell out of Dodge. My last thought before the darkness swallows me is that Lina’s tombstone should read: RIP. She never saw it cumming.
CHAPTER 27
ZAHRA
The portal spits me out into a world of ice, frigidness, and depression.
I somehow had made it back home!
Oh how I missed you, Minnesota! (Kind of. . . not really. . . not at all, but I’m glad to be back.)
I freefall from the sky at an accelerated rate and close my eyes, cringing at the impending impact. I slam into something hard, but simultaneously soft. An odd combination that does nothing to lessen the blow. Dazed, I bounce off the soft/hard thingy and finally hit the ground.
I think I might puke.
I lean over to retch, but a moving, white expanse looming over me catches my eye. I look up and clash eyes with a heartless black stare.
It’s a polar bear.
You read that right: a fucking polar bear.
I really wouldn’t fault you if shut the book at this point. . .
I mean, you’ve read the meme: Bears don’t always kill things, but when they do, it’s because they are fucking bears!
The end.
Mr. Bear of My Impending Doom stretches back up on its hind legs. My eyes are inadvertently drawn to his pendulous bear junk. Impressive, but then again, he’s over ten feet tall. . . so. . .
He sniffs the air a few times before coming back down on all fours over me. He smells around me, his nose bumping over me, and then lets out a feral sounding growl. I panic and lift my leg right into his massive genitalia.
Apparently, bears are just as sensitive there.
Yay for me!
Mr. Bear gurgles something and rolls over, pawing at his bruised ball sack. Polar bears are very human-like when in pain. Planet Earth missed that in their documentaries.
“Why the fuck did you kick me in the nuts?” It roars.
It takes a talking polar bear for me to realize that I’m not back in Minnesota (we don’t have PBs there. I wouldn’t live there if we did.) And PBs don’t talk. . . on Earth. . . which means. . .
I made it to the seventh dimension.
Khal’s domicile.
The Realm of I Wish I Had Never Taken That Stupid Interview Because I Could Be at Home in My Pajamas Instead of Here.
That is the name of Khal’s realm, right?
“Well?” The polar bear demands.
“Uh. . . you were sniffing me and then you growled. . .”
Why in the ever-loving fuck am I explaining myself to a bear?
“And you thought that warranted a nut shot?”
“It does if you are trying to eat me!” I defend.
“Little girl, the only thing I want to eat on you is your fucking delicious pussy.”
My mind kind of blanks at this. . . how the hell do I respond to that? ‘I’m not into bears’ or maybe ‘Bestiality is frowned upon where I live’. . .
I don’t have long to contemplate it because Mr. Bear just laughs and his fur bleeds red. His hulking frame shrinks and shifts into the somewhat familiar, red form of Caed’s god body.
“Caed!” I shout happily.
I forgot that he could make himself into animals since he was their creator.
Guess he’s not a werewolf.
I scramble to get up and give the man-god a hug. My head only goes to his chin and even though he is tall in this form, I clearly got gipped in the height department in both my human and god bodies.
“Why are you naked?” He asks.
“Why were you sniffing me?” I counter.
“Because I smelled something rank. . .” He buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply. Then runs his nose along my face, bumping my chin up with it to continue his perusal down my throat. He gets to the V in my chest, but doesn’t go any further.
“Stop it! You are just using that as an excuse!” I scold, shoving his head off of me.
He immediately recoils at my touch.
“Oh my god, why the fuck does your hand smell that way?”
Caed looks like he’s about ten seconds from vomming all over the place.
What’s wrong with my hand?
I bring it up to inspect, and then I remember where it had been and why it smells.
“Oh, I forgot. It was in Lina’s ass,” I explain, shaking my hand, willing it to be sanitary and scent-free once more. “Here,” I say, as I thrust my hand back at him. “Does it still stink?”
“What?!” Caed splutters, batting my hand away from his nose. “What. . . why. . .how. . . ”
“You forgot when and where. The who was already established, right?”
He just glares at me, “Why the fuck were you with Lina? And an even bigger why the fuck was your hand in her ass?!”
“It’s complicated,” I shrug.
“Little girl, don’t test me right now.”
“Alright, dickhead. I’ll wait a few minutes.”
Both of his eyes are twitching like Lina’s were. . . apparently, I have a talent for causing involuntary body spasms in gods.
“Zahra,” he warns.
Ugh. Someone please save me from controlling gods.
“I jumped up to the sixth dimension to find you, but found Lina instead. And we battled. . . and I was losing. . . so I fisted her. . .and now my hand smells like ass. Well, it shouldn’t now. I tried “cleaning” it mentally. . .”
Honestly, I’m a little afraid to check. What if it hadn’t worked? Gross.
“How are you even jumping realms? What the fuck happened?!”
I have never seen Caed so agitated.
“Calm down. I will tell you. . . just give me a moment to sift through all the shit that has happened. . .”
I go back to the beginning with Nyam and me in the fourth dimension, recalling as best as I can everything that had happened. And there was a shit ton to recount, let me tell you. Meanwhile, I’m hopping from foot to foot, beyond freezing. I have manifested around thirteen layers of clothing, but the biting wind cuts right through them.
Icy wonderland my left boob.
Khal is delusional about his domicile.
“You left Lina how?” Caed asked in disbelief.
“Under a giant superhero vibrator. . . he saved my life. She might have died during the ‘small death’, if you catch my drift. . .”
Caed looks torn between groaning and laughing.
He settles for just shaking his head.
“I have no words,” he finally says.
“Yeah, I tend to have that effect on people. . . so, why were you a polar bear? To keep warm?” I guess.
That was a good idea.
I might turn into a polar bear, too.
“No, to fight off the Icy Enforcers.”
“Come again?”
“To fight off the Ic-”
“I heard you the first time, dickhead. What the hell is an Icy Enforcer?”
I really didn’t like the sound of this already.
“They are the planet’s enforcers, created by Saturn to maintain the hierarchy. The Realm of Edict is a very exacting place and, unless sanctioned by Saturn, the Icy Enforcers eject foreign ent
ities. And right now, we are foreign entities.”
Yep, I knew I wouldn’t like this.
“Um. . . ok, but polar bears can fight them?”
Caed shrugs, “Barely.”
“Barely? BARELY?! What is barely subdued by a polar bear?!”
“Think of them as a winter Yowie, sort of.”
“What the fuck is that?”
“Oy, I forgot, you’re a Yank. Um. . . like the. . . Abominable Snowman, I think you guys call it,” Caed explains.
“Yetis?! Khal’s enforcers are Yetis?!” I shriek, because come on. . .
Caed again just shrugs.
Fucking shrugs.
“Ok, well, what do we do?” I ask.
“You go to the next dimension. And the next and tell the guys to prepare to go direct, like you did for me, and to meet back in the third dimension. I’ll stay here and detain Lina if she tries to jump realms.”
“Ok,” I agree dejectedly.
“What’s wrong?” He queries, tipping my chin up to look into my eyes.
“It’s. . . it’s just. . . it was hard leaving Nyam and Mio. I-I-I don’t want to leave you, too,” I chatter.
From the cold.
Not from the tears clogging my throat.
“Are you crying?” Caed asks incredulously, effectively cutting off my waterworks.
“No,” I reply loftily. “I just have something wet in both my eyes.”
I abruptly turn around and give him my back so he doesn’t see me sniffle.
Again, from the cold.
I raise my hands and will a portal to the eighth dimension to open.
Nothing happens.
“Your light is dimming,” Caed comments from behind me.
Damn, I’m weakening. . . which means. . .
“I think you might need to feed, little girl,” Caed whispers sinfully in my ear.
And just like that, I’m suddenly starving.
CHAPTER 28
MARS
I feel Zahra shudder at the insinuation in my words. My cock has been at attention ever since the gorgeous, mouthy goddess fell onto my back naked. Unfortunately, the cold temperatures require some type of warming cover. Unless you are impervious to it, like the immune bastard who called this shithole home.