“I’m really sorry about your list,” murmured Kimberly, placing a tender kiss against his chest as they lay in bed.
“That’s okay. We can still do it all another day. Your birthday can be an extended celebration,” said Adam, stroking her hair.
“Can I tell you what present I want for my next birthday?” asked Kimberly, looking at him.
“Of course,” said Adam, kissing her temple.
“You,” said Kimberly.
“That’s all, nothing else? Just me?” asked Adam, touched.
“Mmm, you’re the best present,” said Kimberly, hugging him.
“I’m flattered,” said Adam with a smile as he played with her hair.
A little while later, she willingly got up and got ready for their picnic and beamed as they picked up the cake that had her name on it.
“You planned all this,” said Kimberly with a smile as she looked at the delicious cake and the icing which said ‘Happy birthday Kimberly’ on it.
“Of course,” said Adam with a smile.
She leaned up and gently kissed his cheek.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
Adam smiled at her.
“No need for thanking me; it’s my pleasure,” said Adam.
“I’m going to keep thanking you all day regardless,” said Kimberly.
“Noted. Let’s go,” he said.
Holding the cake, he took them to a park near the water. It was relatively quiet, with not many people around. He set out a picnic blanket and basket, the cake in its box.
“You’re so romantic,” said Kimberly, taking the hand he held out to her and sitting down.
“This is perfect – I just wish we could enjoy it without worrying who sees and who reports back on social media,” said Kimberly, shaking her head.
“We need to talk about that actually. But not today,” said Adam.
“No, tell me. What do you want to talk about?” asked Kimberly, her eyes on his.
“We need to tell people."
“What do you mean?” asked Kimberly.
“I mean that we need to say we’re a couple and get it over with. Sure, it’ll be annoying at first, but then it will die down, and we’ll be old news,” said Adam.
“But we’re fine now, aren’t we?” asked Kimberly.
“Now but what about later? There are other things we both want in the future, and we can’t do that while hiding,” said Adam.
He gave her a pointed look. “That thing we talked about last month…that can’t happen while we’re still hiding,” said Adam.
“Oh,” said Kimberly. She picked at an imaginary piece of lint on her pants and bit her lip.
“Why not?” she asked.
“What would you do? Never wear the ring, pretend you’re single?” asked Adam.
“Well, I guess we’d still be careful…” said Kimberly, trailing off. She could see his point. It just seemed hard to open up that side of their lives to the public.
“See. We’re not worrying about anything today though. Today we’re celebrating the beautiful and amazing Kimberly Marcus,” said Adam, placing his hand over hers.
Kimberly looked at him, searching his eyes to see if he was angry or upset with her. She saw only love in his eyes, and he gently kissed her forehead.
“No worrying about anything today – so dessert first or food first?” asked Adam, opening the cake box with a wicked smile.
Kimberly laughed. “You just want to embarrass me by singing,” she said, relaxing.
“Indeed I do,” grinned Adam, like a little kid as he fished a few candles out of the picnic basket. He stuck the 3 candles into the top of the cake, shielding it from Kimberly’s eyes with the top of the box. He then lit the candles and opened the box fully so that Kimberly could see.
“Adam!” laughed Kimberly. “Donuts?” she asked.
“Absolutely, they were cute,” said Adam. “And you love sweets, so…”
“I do, but I love you more,” said Kimberly, nuzzling his neck for a moment.
Adam grinned, proceeding to sing her happy birthday, and she blushed, loving him all the more.
Kimberly’s eyes were a little watery, and she blinked the tears away, but not quickly enough for Adam not to notice.
“What’s wrong?” asked Adam.
“Nothing, just happy. This is the best birthday ever,” said Kimberly.
“Oh, Kim,” said Adam.
He looked around. “Can I hug you?”
Kimberly nodded, still emotional, and he took her into his arms, holding her close.
“I’m glad you’re happy,” he murmured. “I love you.”
“I thought my singing made you cry,” he said teasingly as they parted, trying to lighten the mood.
Kimberly giggled. “No, it was the best birthday song ever. I’m going to cut the cake, purposely touch the bottom and then kiss the closest boy.”
Adam grinned. “Lucky me, being the closest boy.”
Kimberly smiled and cut two slices, sneaking a quick kiss against his lips as she handed him a slice of cake.
“This is delicious,” said Kimberly, the cake light and fluffy but also decadent, the perfect balance. “Perfect choice.”
“It’s really good,” said Adam. He didn’t have as much of a sweet tooth as Kimberly and was basically done after a few bites, but he made an effort to try to finish the cake.
“Kim…can you help me out here?” he asked eventually. Kimberly had finished her slice, and he was trying to finish his but really couldn’t.
Kimberly laughed. “Happy to,” she said, taking the plate off him and finishing the piece.
“I’m sorry, you won’t be able to carry me to bed after all these sweets today,” she giggled.
“You’re always easy to carry, don’t even worry,” he said with a smile.
Kimberly smiled and had a look in the picnic basket to see what he had, the two soon munching on sandwiches as they looked out at the water.
“This was perfect, thank you,” said Kimberly, as they gathered the blanket and basket, the cake safely in its box in the basket.
“Again, it’s no problem. I love seeing you happy,” said Adam.
“I am,” said Kimberly, beaming.
Chapter 13
With a few days at home and blissfully free of commitments, Kimberly brought up the topic again as they cuddled on the couch after lunch at her home in London.
“Adam,” she murmured. “What you said, about making us known…about things we can’t do while we’re hiding. Let’s talk about that, please.”
Adam bit his lip, sighing.
“I don’t know Kim; there doesn’t seem to be one easy solution,” said Adam.
“I want that future, I want…everything,” said Kimberly.
“And we’ll have that. Everything,” said Adam, stroking her hair.
“So what are we supposed to do to get there?” asked Kimberly.
“You know we need to go public. It’s the only way this has a chance to work. What kind of engagement or marriage would we have if we have to hide it constantly?” asked Adam.
“I don’t know,” said Kimberly in a small voice. “I want that so much. The idea of going public though…”
“Well, then there’s not much we can do Kim; we either do it, or we stay like this,” said Adam.
“Are you unhappy with me?” asked Kimberly.
“No, Kim. I am so happy, I have never been happier,” said Adam, caressing her cheek. “I want so much to move forward with you, but the idea of having to continue hiding how I feel, to not even getting to see you wear a ring unless we’re home, that’s not the dream.”
Kimberly sighed. “If you’re not careful, I’ll just propose to you,” she warned.
Adam chuckled. “I’d still not want to hide it though. It’s fine hiding it now but later? Later it gets overly messy, overly complicated. If we do it now, we’ll be old news before we know it.”
“People would pry; they’d ask so
many questions, not to mention accuse us of lying,” said Kimberly, shaking her head.
“So our cover story would be it all happened now,” said Adam.
“And how, Adam? How would we do this?” asked Kimberly.
“I don’t know – maybe in an interview or set up a chat with Adam again and just let it come out naturally,” said Adam.
Kimberly sighed, putting her head in her hands.
“This is all too much to think about right now,” she said quietly.
“I get it, Kim. But one way or another, this is going to have to come out,” said Adam. “If you want a future together, that is.”
“Of course, I want that!” said Kimberly, her eyes blazing. “I love you, of course, I want it. It’s just invasive and takes away our privacy; it opens us up to scrutiny, to questions, to so much.”
“Well, say it wasn’t me. Say it’s someone else, what would you do? Would you reveal it to the media? You have before,” said Adam.
“I reveal as little as possible, and it would be the same now,” said Kimberly.
“Great, so revealing as little as possible means, ‘yes I am dating, or yes I’ve got a boyfriend, his name is….and that’s all I have to say on this topic’,” said Adam.
“You know it would never just end there,” said Kimberly, shaking her head.
“No, it wouldn’t. But tell me what other choice we have,” said Adam.
“We can hide it longer; we can move forward but hide it longer. We can be married before they have to know anything,” said Kimberly.
“No, I can’t do that, Kim,” said Adam, shaking his head.
“So, what does this mean? Where does that leave us?” asked Kimberly, reaching out to take his hand and giving it a squeeze.
“I don’t know, Kim. I don’t see how you think we’d manage to keep things so under wraps and still move forward. I couldn’t even hold your hand walking down the street or kiss you on your birthday last week. That just sucks, Kim, it really does,” said Adam.
“I know it does,” said Kimberly sadly, caressing his cheek.
“Well, Kim, tell me how you think this can work without constantly hiding how we feel,” said Adam, looking at her expectantly.
“I wish I knew,” said Kimberly.
“I know that you want it to happen, Kim, but I don’t see how it can if we continue hiding,” said Adam.
Kimberly didn’t need to ask what ‘it’ was, she knew well.
“But you’ve planned it, and I want it so much,” said Kimberly.
“I planned it thinking we could stop hiding and just live our lives…together, like we want to,” said Adam.
Kimberly sighed, rubbing her hands over her face and looking back at him.
“Honest answer, Kim. Say it happened – tomorrow, next week, whenever. Would you hide it?” asked Adam, exasperated.
Kimberly sighed, hesitating.
“Yes, for now,” she answered finally.
Adam shook his head.
“I don’t know what we have left to say about this topic then,” he murmured, hurt.
“Adam, it’s okay. We’ll think of something,” said Kimberly.
“It’s not okay, Kim. It’s not,” said Adam shaking his head.
“How can I fix it?” asked Kimberly.
“By just coming out with it, Kim. By just coming out with it so we can move on to our future plans,” said Adam.
“I can’t do that yet,” said Kimberly, shaking her head.
“Tell me once you decide,” Adam said and turned on his heel to walk away.
Kimberly stood rooted to the spot for a moment. She knew going after him right now would be fruitless. She just hoped that he would be back in a few hours once he was less mad at her.
The hours passed, and Adam didn’t reappear. Kimberly paced the living room, her eyes flickering up every so often whenever she thought she heard a car. She didn’t want to push him, but the silence was deafening, and she wondered what he was doing…who he was with. She grabbed her phone, calling him.
“Kim,” he answered.
“Where are you?” asked Kimberly.
“My parents’ house,” said Adam.
“You aren’t coming home tonight?” asked Kimberly.
“I am at home, Kim,” he responded.
“No, you aren’t,” said Kimberly, shaking her head, although he couldn’t see her.
“Kim, please,” he murmured.
“I need to talk to you,” said Kimberly.
“We’ve said all there is to say,” said Adam dully.
“No, we haven’t,” said Kimberly.
“Kim, please, we’ll talk tomorrow,” said Adam.
Kimberly sighed, hanging up with a quiet, “I love you.”
She moved then. She was on a mission before she even knew what she was searching for. Their bedroom (she now considered it theirs) started to look like a cyclone had hit it as she searched jackets, pockets, and drawers. Standing in the middle of the room, she surveyed the outcome of her search. It was nothing but a mess, but her eyes strayed on the sock drawer again for some reason, Adam’s sock drawer. She opened it, moving socks aside as she had done earlier but now feeling the socks themselves for anything hard. Right at the back of the sock drawer, her fingers touched something hard inside a pair of socks. She pulled out the socks, unrolling them, a velvet-covered jewelry box falling into her hand.
Kimberly gasped, tears running down her cheeks, opening it with shaking hands.
There it was. Her ring. The ring Adam had wanted to ask her to marry him with. It was beautiful, the diamond shining in the light, two heart-shaped smaller diamonds on either side. It had an elegance that told her this didn’t come from a display case in a jewelry store. This came from Adam. This came from the heart. She looked at the inside of the silver band, rubbing her finger over the inscription – a tiny inscribed Marcus Neilson logo, in between their names.
Her hand shook as she placed it onto her ring finger, marveling at how right it felt. It was the perfect size for her finger. She wasn’t sure why she had to find the ring, why she had to put it on, all she knew was that she was worried it would all go away. All of her happiness, all of the love she’d felt from Adam. In her haste to search, she hadn’t heard her phone, and she felt some comfort from the simple message she found there from Adam.
Get some sleep, Kim. We’ll talk tomorrow. I love you.
She spent a restless night, however, tossing and turning, unable to sleep from worry and no longer used to not sleeping in Adam’s arms. She almost wanted to drive to Kentworth and force him to talk to her, but she knew he was stewing, and she understood that he wanted time away from her. But how much time? The next morning, she looked at her phone, but there were no messages.
Please come over, she wrote.
No reply came immediately, and she watched the phone for a while anxiously.
Adam, please, she wrote again.
The reality that Adam was so angry at her that he’d left and gone to his childhood home in Kentworth was starting to sink in quickly for her. She didn’t know what it meant. She almost jumped when her phone beeped with a message.
You need to make up your mind, Kim. You’re either with me, or you’re not. I can’t be in a relationship we have to hide forever. You let me know when you’re ready.
And suddenly everything crumbled around her. She had sunk down to the floor, sobbing before she knew it. She was almost surprised to find the tears on her cheeks as she wiped them away. She didn’t lose her composure easily. But the thought that Adam was gone, maybe forever, tore a hole in her heart that she didn’t think she could ever recover from.
Kimberly tried to type back a message; her vision was blurred from the tears streaming relentlessly down her face. She became frustrated, trying to type a response as she fumbled with the phone. She called him, half expecting him not to answer. But this was still Adam, he loved and cared about her so of course, he answered.
“Kim,” he said, pic
king up the phone as he saw Kimberly’s name.
What he heard broke him; Kimberly was sobbing, her breath coming out in short bursts. She couldn’t speak; she could only cry.
“Kim, hey, don’t cry. Please,” he murmured.
“I love you,” managed Kimberly in between sobs.
“Oh, Kim. I love you, that hasn’t changed,” said Adam.
Kimberly didn’t speak; he could only hear her crying.
“Kim, breathe. Come on, let’s breathe together, please,” he said worriedly.
Instead of breathing with him, she spoke.
“What do I do? I can’t go to my best friend. I lost my best friend too. Who do I turn to now?” asked Kimberly, the pain clear in her voice.
“You haven’t lost me,” said Adam.
“I have, you’re not here,” said Kimberly, devastated.
“Whose fault is that Kim?” he snapped.
She had screwed up, somehow here they were, apart all because she couldn’t take the final step and stop hiding their relationship.
“It’s my fault,” she responded sadly.
Adam didn’t trust himself to speak so he said nothing and eventually Kimberly said she’d talk to him later and hung up, completely devastated and unable to stop crying.
But as much as Adam wanted to, he couldn’t stay in Kentworth and keep stewing while he knew Kimberly was so upset. Her call had broken him, and he was in the car and on the way to London almost as soon as they’d hung up.
He rang the doorbell initially, not wanting to just walk in if she didn’t want him to. There was no answer, and he used his key, stepping inside.
“Hello? Kim?” he called.
There was still no answer, and he quickly made his way upstairs, taking the steps two at a time in his haste to find her.
Kimberly was sitting on the floor leaning back against her bed, a tissue box next to her and numerous crumpled tissues in a pile on her other side. Her eyes were red from crying, there were dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was in a loose ponytail, wisps of hair around her face.
She saw him but didn’t react, not knowing what to do. She looked at the ground instead, and she felt Adam sit down next to her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close against his side, kissing her temple. She breathed in his familiar scent, his warmth against her body.
TANGLED HEARTS Page 9