by Maria Arnt
Ouch. Her reluctance in accepting was the proverbial bucket of cold water to his excitement. And yet, he found himself smiling. He at least had the opportunity to change her attitude, and he was much more confident in his ability to do that. “What are your limits, then?” he asked, intrigued.
Tatiana held up a finger. “Only I get to initiate.”
“Define initiate,” he said.
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t,” he spread his hands. “Am I not allowed to be solicitous towards you? To behave in any way which would induce a sexual response in you?”
She gave him a sarcastic look. “No, you can try.”
Excellent. “Then at what point do we begin? Undressing? Kissing?”
“Let me go through the rest of the rules, and you’ll get a better idea,” she offered. She held up a second finger, “It’s only going to happen in your room, and that’s the only time I’m going to go in there,”
“Ah,” he said, understanding. That did make it much simpler.
A third finger joined the rest, “And no kissing.”
That stopped him short. “No kissing?”
“Yeah, you know, like... professionals,” she glanced away, obviously uncomfortable.
He felt himself go cold. “Is that how you see this Tatiana?” he asked softly. “A meaningless exchange of your body for your sanity?”
She would not meet his gaze. “Pretty much.”
A long silence hung between them. In part, he was very angry. But he pitied her also, that she saw herself in such a detestable position as needing to sell herself to him. He decided then and there that he would do his damnedest to prove to her that there was more in it for her, in any way he could. But that would be something of a challenge without kissing. It was a relatively new device of passion, gaining in popularity only after the flourish of romance a few thousand years ago, but other uses of the mouth were much older.
“Define kissing,” he suggested. “Is it only no kissing on the mouth, as you mentioned professionals insist? Or no kissing anywhere?”
“No kissing anywhere,” she replied.
Hm. “What about licking and biting? Are those also forbidden?”
“Yes!” She finally looked at him, and he was saddened to see revulsion in her eyes. “Especially no biting.”
Finally, a piece of the puzzle clicked into place. “Tanya, I’m not going to feed on you,” he assured her.
She looked a little surprised. “Why not? It’s what you do, isn’t it?”
He raised an eyebrow, trying to be kind. “Feeding off you would be pointless. Whatever living energy you contain you have received from me. That’s why when you kill a Master, his unemancipated offspring die as well. Your life is completely dependent on mine.”
Tatiana didn’t seem very reassured. “Good to know,” she said darkly. “But still. No kissing, no licking, no biting. Anywhere.”
He closed his eyes, exasperated. She had nearly halved his available skills. He could still touch her, he reminded himself, and that thought alone was enough to lift his mood. And he still had words. If he could somehow reach her, change her mind, he knew her body would follow. “Anything else?” he rubbed the bridge of his nose and opened his eyes once more.
“No. Well, except I reserve the right to change the rules if I want to,” she said quickly.
“Of course,” he smiled. That was precisely what he was hoping for, after all.
“So um,” she chewed on her lip a moment. “How often do we have to do this?”
“That depends entirely on you. As often as you like, of course, but your body will tell you when you need it,” he explained. “You need merely listen.”
She tilted her head to the side. “I’m going to need something a little more specific than that.”
“You will begin to feel restless and irritable. When you hunger, it will be more distracting and more difficult to break the feeding trance once you’re in it,” he offered.
“So... less often than I have to feed?” she reasoned.
Seth shrugged. “I’m basing my estimates on the experiences of other newly-made vampires, but they normally feed daily and don’t bother to wait until they’re thirsty, so I don’t know. If you still intend to draw out the time between feedings to the maximum possible, you may need to come to me much more often than you feed.”
She let her head flop back onto the chaise lounge, staring up at the ceiling and muttering something about the devil and the deep blue sea. He wondered which one he was supposed to be, although he was fairly sure he already knew the answer.
After a few minutes, she lifted her head and sighed. “Okay. I’ve got some thinking I need to do,” she said. “I imagine you’ve got some more training for me?”
“Oh yes,” he agreed. They had barely even begun.
“Then let’s do that,” she suggested tiredly. “I’ve had enough weirdness in the last twenty-four hours to last me a while.”
Unsure how to respond to that, he stood and gestured towards the door. She got up and left before him, and he watched her go with hidden anticipation. Things had not turned out as he had imagined they would, but at least now he had an opportunity. Now he only needed to come up with a plan....
19
It was strange, but there was something relieving about returning to the routine they had established over the last few weeks. It gave Tanya’s life a much-needed sense of predictability; there was only so much of Seth’s weirdness she could handle. Having a structure to fall back on made it easier.
She found she was much less irritated by his training, too. He was an absolute perfectionist, but in his frequent corrections, he was never harsh or exasperated. Always he was patient and encouraging, and she was surprised to find herself striving for his rare compliments.
As a sort of compromise, he was allowing her to learn how to properly use the moves as he taught them to her, instead of waiting until she had the whole form down. It was a really different way of fighting, all about unbalancing your opponent and redirecting their strikes. The end result was mostly her getting knocked on her ass, but she could feel herself getting better.
On the third day after her first kill, though, it was starting to wear on her. She was learning a really difficult sequence Seth called ‘brush-step-push,’ and it was driving her crazy. Not only was the movement complicated, but she also had to do it crouched down low and maintain her balance.
“Turn your back foot,” he reminded her.
She did her best to do so, but she realized too late that she hadn’t stepped far enough out to the side and she was now unbalanced. Before she could correct it, Seth pushed lightly on her shoulder, overbalancing her so she toppled over.
“God fucking dammit,” she muttered, rolling onto her back.
Seth patiently extended a hand to help her up, but she smacked it away and got up on her own. She wasn’t the helpless klutz she’d been when he first turned her, but she still hadn’t regained the grace she had cultivated when human. It was humiliating and she was tired of it.
“Are you alright?” he asked as she tugged her T-shirt back into place.
“Yes!” she snapped.
His raised eyebrows let her know what he thought of her response.
She sighed, and turned away, running a hand through her hair. “I dunno. I just feel edgy tonight. I thought I would improve faster than this if I really dedicated myself to it, you know?”
Seth’s long, graceful hands came to rest on her shoulders, his thumbs making soothing circles on either side of her spine. “You’re doing just fine, Tatiana,” he said softly.
Closing her eyes, she melted into his hands a little. She had no idea how tense she was, and his fingers, as usual, were magic.
“You just need to relax,” he continued to murmur. “It will come, you just have to give it time.”
It wasn’t until he started working on a particularly nasty knot and she caught herself almost m
oaning that she realized what he was up to. “Hey!” she pulled away and whipped around to face him. “No initiating!” she pointed an accusing finger at him.
He held up his hands, trying to look innocent. He would have managed it better if it wasn’t such an out-of-place expression on him. “I was only loosening your shoulders,” he claimed. “If it had a more sensual effect on you than expected, it’s not my fault.”
“Right,” she drawled. But now that the subject had been brought up, she couldn’t help but wonder if the irritation she’d felt today was exactly what he had been talking about. She sized him up, trying to decide if she was ready for this.
“Would you like to go somewhere else?” he hinted hopefully.
“Not now,” she sighed, and was surprised when his hopeful expression did not dim in the slightest. “I want to figure this brush step thing out.”
He smiled. “I must admit I’m impressed by your determination.”
“It’s just so complicated,” she whined. “If I get one thing, I mess the other up. I can’t keep it all straight in my head long enough to even do it right once.”
Tapping his chin thoughtfully, Seth gave her a long stare. “There is, perhaps, a way to help you. But I am afraid you won’t like the idea overmuch.”
She threw her hands up in the air. “Shoot. At this point, I’m about ready to try anything.”
He clasped his hands behind his back, which made his black shirt stretch tight against his chest. But she wasn’t paying attention to that, nooo. “If I were to use my full control over you, and we did it in unison, it might give you the opportunity to develop the necessary muscle memory.”
“You’re right,” she said, expression darkening. “I don’t like your idea.” She stared at her feet for a while. The last thing she ever wanted to experience again was that unnerving sense of being detached from her body, knowing that meanwhile, Seth was controlling it. It made her skin crawl. She looked back up at him, but he kept his face carefully blank. “But I don’t see much of an alternative,” she sighed.
He nodded tersely. “You will still be able to speak, so please tell me if you would like me to stop.”
“Okay.” She took a few deep breaths and struck the pose of the previous move.
Seth came to stand next to her and settled into the same position. She tried to stay relaxed but found herself tensing up in anticipation. She knew the exact moment he took control, because her shoulders dropped a few inches, and all her muscles went almost slack. For a moment she was afraid she would just collapse into a puddle on the floor, but instead she stopped in a low crouch, much lower than she was really comfortable doing herself.
And then they started to move. From the corner of her eye, she could see Seth going through the motions in exact synchronization with her. For some reason, maybe because she wasn’t fighting it this time, she didn’t feel quite as detached as usual. It was more like a dream, where you move, and you feel yourself move, but you’re not consciously controlling the movement.
The step was still very complicated, but suddenly she could see why, could feel the purpose of each detail, how the turning of the foot was really an extension of the turning of the waist, and how she’d been putting far too much of her weight on the back foot.
They completed the move once, and then a second time. By this point, it was beginning to feel more natural, and she fell into a sort of trance, a litany of half-words and concepts running through her mind like a swift stream: brush step sink turn push—fingers first—back guard block brush step sink turn push back guard block brush step....
Tanya lost herself in the rhythm of it, although she was still tangibly aware of Seth next to her, moving like he was part of her, or she was part of him. Even her breathing fell into sync, which she often struggled to do, exhaling with the attack and inhaling with the block.
When they reached the other end of the room, she realized that at some point, she had regained full control of her body. Oddly, she still felt connected to Seth, and as she turned to look at him, she could see in his softened expression that he felt the same way.
“Did that help?” he asked, his voice a little breathless, although he obviously wasn’t winded.
“Yeah,” she said vaguely. “I get it now. I really do.”
She could see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “Would you like to practice it some more?” he suggested, “Or learn the martial application—”
“No,” she said, and stepped closer to him. Without thinking, she took his hand. Surprised, she looked down at their entwined fingers, as he gently slid his thumb along hers. She met his gaze again to catch him licking his lips. “No, let’s go to your room,” she whispered, half afraid to say the words out loud.
His lips parted, and she could see the surprise and naked desire in the small change. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.
God, she wanted him. She didn’t want to want him, but fuck it, she did. “Yes,” she breathed.
Apparently, that was all the encouragement he needed. His grip tightened on her fingers, and he pulled her against him sharply, burying his face in her hair near her ear. “I thought you’d never ask,” he murmured, his words running over her like silk.
“Bedroom,” she squeaked, although she had meant for it to sound far more commanding.
“Of course,” he chuckled, and turned, pulling her along as he rushed towards the door. He was still walking, but his ungodly—or rather godly, she snickered—long legs made it so she had to scurry to keep up.
As soon as they crossed the threshold, he slammed the door shut and pressed her up against it, grinding his hips into hers. “Oh, god,” she gasped as his hands worked their way from her waist, up over her breasts, around her neck and then buried themselves in her hair.
“Yes?” he quipped softly.
She rolled her eyes but smiled. The expression vanished from her face a moment later, though, as he pressed one leg between hers and hitched her up higher, so she was standing on her toes. Her hands scrabbled against the soft material of his shirt until she managed to catch hold of his shoulders, but this only served to pull him closer.
Seth lowered his head so his face was very close to the crook of her neck. For one terrifying moment she thought he would ignore the rules she set down and bite her, but instead he only breathed in deeply. “Oh, the way you smell drives me mad some nights,” he half-growled.
“Um. Thanks?” she said awkwardly. Thirty seconds in, and already her brain wasn’t working.
“Would you like the lights on? Or off?” He made it more than clear by his tone which he would prefer.
She hesitated, torn between saying off just to contradict him and saying on to prove she wasn’t chicken. In the end, her desire to prove herself won out. “On is fine,” she attempted to say casually.
“Hm. How about a compromise?” he suggested. Reaching for the wall beside them, he nudged the dimmer switch just slightly. A soft, warm light filled the room, provided by three black floor lamps that reached almost to the ceiling. It was more than enough illumination for her vampire eyes to catch every detail of his room, which she hadn’t exactly paid attention to the last time she was here.
It was sparsely decorated, in golds and blacks, and a hint of red. The bed had a plush gold comforter on it, and the headboard—with the very large mirror which she had noticed last time—was made of wrought iron and carved ebony. There wasn’t much else in the room: an ornate black chest of drawers with a few objets d’art on top of it, a small leather tufted bench, and a delicately carved ebony bedside table. It all seemed far less ominous with the lights on.
Once her gaze had made a circuit of the room, she came back to Seth, who was watching her with hooded eyes. He took her hand, and walking backward led her to the bed. Despite not watching where he was going, he moved liquidly onto the golden surface, and she followed much more awkwardly.
“Relax,” he said, smiling, and traced the lin
e of her jaw with a finger.
“Easier said than done.” She laughed.
“Here. Let me help,” he murmured, and then moved to sit just behind her, kneading her shoulders as he had before.
This time, she didn’t bother trying not to moan. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, his magic fingers finding all the knots and working them patiently. When she had nearly dissolved into a puddle of bliss, he leaned over and murmured in her ear, “Stand up for a moment, darling.”
With the help of his urging hands, she slid off the bed to stand beside it. He stood as well, and then turned back the covers, revealing the black silk sheets he seemed to like so much. That task accomplished, he turned to face her once more. Pulling her into his arms, he slid a hand up the back of her shirt and continued to massage her back gently. Sighing, she leaned her head against his shoulder and hummed in appreciation.
“You know,” Seth said slyly, “this would work much better without your clothing in the way.” With his free hand, he began to lift the edge of her shirt.
Tanya flinched. She didn’t mean to, but she did. He stopped moving immediately. “I’m sorry,” she blurted.
“No, it’s quite all right,” he said patiently, letting go and removing his hand. “Perhaps...” he glanced over at the chest of drawers. “If it would be easier, I will go occupy myself for a few moments. If you would undress and lie face down beneath the sheet, perhaps it would save you some... embarrassment?” he suggested.
She chewed her lip, thinking. He had phrased it as a question, but it still felt like an order to her. As usual, it irked her, but at the same time, she felt so awkward and out of sorts that she was glad to have someone else tell her what to do. “Okay,” she said reluctantly.
“Excellent,” he smiled, and then he took her hand and kissed it. The gesture surprised her so much she forgot it was against her rules. He walked around the bed and opened the top drawer of the chest, his back turned to her.
It took her half a second to realize that was all the more privacy she was going to get. She practically jumped out of her clothes and dove into the slick black sheets, remembering after a moment that she was supposed to lay on her stomach.