by Maria Arnt
Seth took his time, however. A soft, smoky scent began to fill the air, and she turned her head to see a thin tendril of incense smoke drifting over his shoulder. Soon it was followed by very quiet music, a soft, soothing electronic piece.
“Is this alright?” He turned his head to speak to her but didn’t look over his shoulder.
“Yeah,” she answered, listening intently to the song.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked.
“Oh, yeah. I’m done,” she added, shifting a little to make sure the sheet covered her up to the neck.
He turned to face her, a small bottle in his hands and a wry grin on his face. “Well, if I’d known it would be that easy,” he joked.
“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes and then did her best to stay put as he eased onto the bed. He quickly moved out of the field of her vision, but she could feel him as he straddled her hips. Next, she felt his hands, ridiculously warm through the thin fabric, rhythmically stroking up and down her back.
Okay, she thought, trying to calm herself. It’s just a massage. It’s nice. When was the last time you got spoiled enough to have one of these? So she closed her eyes and just tried to enjoy it. And really, it did feel pretty awesome. Once she had relaxed a bit, he drew the sheet down to her waist and slid his fingers against her bare skin lightly.
For a moment he stopped, and a new smell joined the incense. It was woody and ever so slightly sweet, and she couldn’t quite place it. When next he touched her, it became obvious he’d put some kind of oil on his hands, which he spread over her back generously.
“What is that?” she murmured curiously.
“Coconut oil,” he responded. “Do you like it?”
“Mmmm...” she hummed, distracted as he began to knead her muscles in earnest. Before long, she didn’t need to pretend she was just getting a massage. Her whole world dwindled to the smell of the incense and oil, the soft, dreamy music, and the irresistible rhythm of Seth’s fingers against her skin.
Once he had turned her shoulders into butter, he murmured that she could put her arms up on the pillow if it was more comfortable, which she did. He started to work on her lower back, which was apparently a mess too. He was damn good at this, so much so that she barely noticed when he drew the sheet lower, following the chain of muscles down over her rear and onto the backs of her thighs.
At this point, she began to feel more than just relaxed. Seth remained purely professional in his touch, but as her muscles loosened, she felt a warmth begin to tingle low in her stomach. Instead of panicking, she decided to enjoy it, moaning a little and pressing her hips into the bed in appreciation.
He chuckled warmly and then moved to work on her calves. She made a vague sound of disappointment.
“Patience, Tatiana,” he whispered close to her skin, tickling her with his breath. Finally, he reached her feet, which had always been sensitive. She wriggled a little, but he held firm, even rubbing each toe gently. Once he had released the second foot, he drew his hands back up the length of her body, before carefully brushing a few loose curls out of her face.
“Tanya?” he said softly.
“Mmmn?” she half-replied.
“Turn over, darling.”
“Okay,” she agreed, and did so without thinking. He had lost his shirt somewhere in the process, and her admiration of his bare chest suddenly made her realize that she, too, was unclothed. Before she could try to cover herself up, Seth began kneading her shoulders, as if he merely intended to continue the massage. The heat in his eyes made a lie of this pretense.
“You are so very beautiful, mryah,” he breathed, his gaze traveling over her skin, hands following at a leisurely pace.
Tanya licked her lips, struggling to stay calm. “What’s that mean?”
“Hm? Oh,” he chuckled. “Sweetheart? Darling? It’s an old term of endearment.”
“Egyptian?” she guessed.
He nodded, and then slowly, carefully, lowered his body onto hers, their skin meeting in a delicious rush of warmth. Resting his head next to hers, Seth sighed deeply. He wound a curl of her hair around his finger, playing with it idly.
“What are you thinking?” she asked, genuinely curious.
He smiled softly. “That you cannot imagine how many thousands of nights I’ve lain awake imagining this. I’ve had untold ages to develop the perfect imagination of us, together, and somehow,” he trailed a finger down her jawline and then over her bottom lip, “all those dreams pale in comparison to the reality, like the stars against the dawning sun.”
Okay, Tanya thought with a reluctant smile, the guy has some mad pillow talk skills. Cautiously, she reached up to touch his face, curious. He leaned into her hand like a cat eager for affection. She allowed herself to explore more of him, his hair, the muscles of his shoulders, back, and chest. The appreciative noises he made fed her courage, and she dared to venture lower, sliding her hand between them.
His gasp quickly changed to a chuckle. “That’s what I like about you, Tanya,” he said, grinning.
“What?” She moved her hand, playfully trying to see if she could short-circuit his train of thought. It only worked for a moment.
“You insist on taking charge of your role in every situation,” he explained calmly, although his hand on her hip clutched her tightly.
“Oh? I thought you hated that about me,” she said, her mind only half on the conversation or she wouldn’t have been quite so blunt.
“Hardly,” he chuckled, nuzzling his face against the crook of her neck. “I merely find it irksome when your choice of action doesn’t coincide with my goals.”
“In other words,” Tanya gasped as his hand cupped her breast. “You’re fine with whatever I do as long as it’s what you wanted me to do in the first place.”
“Hm, quite,” he murmured close to her skin, not quite kissing her collarbone.
Normally she would have objected, or at least rolled her eyes, but at that point she lost the thread of the conversation altogether. She had fallen under the spell of Seth’s exquisite touch, and the soft, encouraging sounds he made when she reciprocated. It was a slow, gentle exploration, and while he eagerly reciprocated, he always waited for her to make the first move into deeper waters. He was, in short, a perfect gentleman.
Inevitably, they reached the point where he paused, poised above her, a breath away from pressing forward. “Tell me you want this,” he whispered. His words were still a command, but his voice begged.
She hesitated.
“I swear to you, if you say no, I will end it here. I will be disappointed, but not angry. Please,” he licked his lips, “tell me.”
“Yes,” she breathed. It was only when he moved, with an urgency of pent-up desire, that she knew she was right.
Tanya had expected a repeat of the fierce, passionate intensity of their first time, but instead he took her slowly, gently sensual, attentive and dizzyingly skillful. This is not fucking, Tanya realized. This is lovemaking. He is making love to me. But what that meant, she had no idea.
It wasn’t until Seth paused, a concerned expression on his face, that she realized she was crying. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, and again, she could tell he meant it. He carefully brushed away a tear with the pad of his thumb.
She shook her head. “No,” wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him close. “Please.”
He resumed their dance, building a fire within her from a tiny flicker until it was a raging blaze. She wrapped her legs around him, dug her fingernails into his back, clenched his hair in her fists, but nothing would make him go any faster, although he did seem arrogantly amused at her desperation. At last, the pleasure overtook her, like a vast tsunami, rising and rising, until she thought she would drown. In the midst of her ecstasy, though, she still felt that strange, familiar sensation, the presence of another’s life force, this time brushing against hers warmly instead of struggling away. It made her shudder, in an exquisitely delightful way.
Afterwar
d, she lay tangled in his arms, catching her breath. He seemed to be drinking in the sight of her as if he knew that soon this privilege would be removed from him. “Was that better?” he asked softly.
She nodded and resisted an odd urge to snuggle up against him.
He frowned, unable to read her expression. “What’s wrong, Tanya?”
She sighed. “It’s just so much easier to hate you.”
Despite himself, Seth smiled.
Afterward, Tanya took a quick shower and went straight to bed. Sunrise wasn’t for another hour, but she wanted some time to herself. By this time of year, it was almost seven o’clock when the sun came up, and she had gotten in the habit of texting her dad as he got ready for work.
Either her dad had discovered autofill, or he was getting really good at typing on his phone, the answer was almost immediate.
There was a few minutes’ pause as her father labored on a longer response.
Tanya sighed. A visit home sounded fantastic. Even her mom’s nagging would be welcome—although, with the way she looked now, she doubted even her mother could find a flaw to fuss over. She could imagine it vividly, the way each of her parents would hug her. Her dad, tightly wrapping her in the familiar smell of engine grease and solvent, her mom with a quick peck on the cheek, smelling like hand sanitizer and hospital. They would have macaroni and cheese—
And here her fantasy came to a crashing halt as the memory of her favorite food made her stomach turn with nausea. She couldn’t go. Not yet, anyway.
She didn’t elaborate that she would be the danger.
She hesitated before hitting send, wondering if that was a promise she could ever hope to keep. At last, she pressed the screen. She would do her best. It would be good to have a goal that didn’t involve killing something.
Tanya smiled ruefully. She’d be out like a light by then. Her parents knew she was living on a day sleeper’s schedule, but not why. At first, her mother had been thrilled, but she couldn’t make phone calls during work and Tanya was usually asleep by the time she got home in the morning. She occasionally called her daughter early in the evening, before she went to work, but these calls were kept blessedly short by the need to leave.
Smiling, she turned off her phone’s screen and set it on her bedside table.
20
To Tanya’s surprise, the next few days went very smoothly. Seth was neither gloating nor taking liberties with her. He was his usual polite, manipulative self. If anything had changed at all, he was at times a little kinder to her. She glimpsed moments where he seemed almost casual, when he spoke about history or metaphysics or psychology. She was shocked when she realized he was opening up to her.
She knew she should be relieved. Much of the stress in her life had disappeared along with the tension between them. But even though he hadn’t given the slightest hint of anything meaning “I told you so,” it still rankled her that he had been right. Part of her didn’t want to get along with him.
To make matters worse, it was quickly becoming clear that Seth was a god—at least in bed. It was almost ridiculous. The second time she approached him, she tried to make the encounter quick and impersonal. He’d made it into a fun quicky. She thought he didn’t even know fun existed.
His hands had been the start of it, and she remained secretly entranced with them. They were expressive, with long tapering fingers that belied their preternatural strength. He spoke with his hands, thought with his hands, and when they fucked... his hands were what made it tolerable.
This was because they did not lie to her. When he touched her, it was always honest. When they fought, they were inescapably powerful, delivering precise blows without the slightest hint of remorse. In bed, they devoured her, worshiped her, every touch and squeeze and clutch said “mine” in an undeniable voice. If he had said any such thing with his lips, she would have decked him. When his hands were demanding, however, she could not help but yield, arching into his touch, craving it, demanding his ownership in turn. In some primitive corner of her mind, she knew she belonged to him, and it made her heart race and her blood sing.
Afterward, she worried about it. How long before this yearning to submit to him bled over into the rest of her life? It was hard enough struggling with him, could she resist herself as well? She pushed it away, into the folder of “don’t think about it now, Tanya.” When she was going to think about it was another question altogether.
After a week and a half, she was almost relieved to feel the thirst start again. She’d more than doubled the time between feedings, but she waited, wanting to see how long she could put off feeding. At least that’s what she told herself.
“You’re stalling,” Seth murmured after one interlude, his voice softened by the fact that he was slightly out of breath.
Wow, she’d actually managed to wind him. Why couldn’t she manage that in training? “Hmm?” She rolled over, stretching against his lean body.
“Not that I mind having you grace my bed two nights in a row,” he trailed a hand down her side, smirking. “But it won’t delay your thirst indefinitely.”
Tanya let out her breath in a puff of air, staring at the ceiling. She hated how he could see right through her. “You know, the problem is, it’s not just feeding. It’s going out, all the noises and the smells, and then feeding.”
He turned towards her and propped his head upon his hand. “You need to get used to it somehow,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but it would be easier if I could handle it one at a time,” she whined.
He sighed. “This would have been a much more useful revelation before you needed to feed.”
Rolling her eyes, Tanya got up and began looking for her clothes. “No shit, Sherlock. I only just thought of it.”
Seth didn’t make any effort to get up, and at first she thought he was just staring at her like a creeper again. But when she glanced toward him, she could see he was deep in thought.
“I don’t think I can bring someone in on this short of notice. I assume you wish to leave them alive?”
“You have to ask?” She said through her t-shirt as it passed over her face.
“That requires discretion on their part. There are few humans I would trust with the location of my home,” he explained.
Once dressed, Tanya was at a loss as to what to do with herself, so she sat on the edge of the bed again. “Makes sense, I guess. I’ll just have to grit my teeth, huh?”
He pressed his thin lips together. “I am concerned about you having another bad experience,” he explained. “The first few are often clumsy, messy affairs, but if it goes on too long, you’ll start associating feeding with those unpleasant feelings. I’ve seen it do strange things to vampires.”
She smiled wryly, “Operant conditioning?” He’d practically given her a lecture on it last weekend.
“Precisely. There is, of course, another option.”
“Yeah.” Tanya stared down at her feet. She had been kicking around the idea of taking Seth up on his other offer for several days, not liking it one bit, but not liking the alternative either.
“It won’t... that is to say, you won’t be instantly transformed into a mindless slave just from feeding off me,” he laughed. “You’ll just...” he sighed. “I’m a bit at a loss to describe it to you, having never done it myself.”
That’s right, she realized. Being the first vampire means he’s never been in my position. Kind of explains why he’s such an ass about it.
“If you’re afraid, you could just say so,” he said, exasperated.
If Tanya had been a cat, her fur would have stood up. She might have even arched her back. She knew it was a challenge. She knew it, and she still couldn’t help but get riled up by his words.
“Alright, fine,” she crossed her arms.
“Excellent!” Seth practically jumped out of bed, and by the time Tanya turned around, he already had his pants on, shirt in hand. “Let’s go to the study,” he suggested cheerfully.
Raising her eyebrows, she sat on the end of it. “Worried you’re gonna pass out?” she teased.
He hid a smile. “No, but you might.” He gestured to the other end of the chair, where it rose to support someone if they decided to recline.
“Oh.” She shifted over and smoothed her hands over her jeans, nervous.
He tossed his shirt on the desk and sat next to her, facing the opposite direction. As he wrapped an arm around her, she realized that it gave her good access to his shoulder, but it would be nearly impossible to actually bite the near side of his neck. He’d clearly put a lot of thought into this, as usual.
“Now, if you feel like you’re getting overwhelmed, just pull away. I’ll stop you if you go too far, but I think you’ll manage to stop yourself first.”
He sounded so damn confident about it. She actually caught herself worrying that his arrogance might get him killed—and then remembered who she was talking about. Her sudden rush of anger and annoyance was enough for her to work up the nerve to bite.
He chuckled. “A little harder, darling.”
God dammit, she had choked. She bit harder, and then suddenly her mouth was filled with a rush of absolute ecstasy. It was like nothing else she had ever tasted, even though the flavor was deeply familiar to her. If her first two feedings were like tomato soup and sauce, this was a gourmet wine reduction with hints of clove and hallucinogens.
And his ka...! Instead of a small distant star, it was a blazing supernova, inches away. Every swallow pulled immense amounts of energy into her, almost more than she could handle. At first, she wanted all of it, to take that spiraling mess of power and make it her own, but slowly it became obvious that she couldn’t hope to contain it all. She drank and drank, and it hardly seemed to make a dent in the bigger scheme of things.