The Woman Next Door

by Natasha Boydell

‘I don’t see why we should.’

  His dismissiveness irked her. Does our relationship not mean enough to you to bother telling your parents? Is this just a bit of fun for you, while for me it is my whole, entire world?

  He saw her expression and looked confused. ‘Have I said something wrong?’

  ‘I just wonder why you don’t think we should tell them?’

  ‘I don’t think it’s any of their business.’

  ‘Are you ashamed of me?’

  ‘Of course I’m not ashamed of you. Where’s this come from?’

  She wanted to tell him the truth but she was twisting herself into knots, getting herself into a pickle for no reason. ‘Well we spend all our time together but how often do we go out with your friends? And you won’t even tell your parents about me?’

  ‘How often do we go out with your friends?’ he asked. ‘Hardly ever. I thought you liked spending time just the two of us. I’ve got no problem taking you out with my mates if that’s what you want, Katie.’

  He had called her Katie, not Brennan, which meant that he was annoyed with her. She was furious with herself for causing conflict that didn’t need to be there, but she was on a roll now.

  ‘So you’re just going to go home for Christmas, return to your old life, act like nothing has happened, perhaps hook up with your old girlfriend from school and forget all about us?’

  ‘For God’s sake, Katie, stop being unreasonable. I never said that.’

  ‘So what did you mean?’

  Freddy was looking exasperated. ‘I just mean that my family are a bunch of nosy arseholes and if I want to keep this to myself, why shouldn’t I?’

  ‘And it’s not because you’re worried about how they’ll react?’

  ‘Not particularly.’

  ‘Oh yes, I forget, you have such a modern, accepting family, they’d probably slap you on the back and congratulate you on your conquest.’

  ‘Jesus, Katie.’

  They glowered at each other for a minute until finally his expression softened. ‘Okay, so I get what this is about now.’

  ‘What’s that?’ She sounded petulant but she didn’t care.

  ‘You want to tell your parents but you’re scared about how they’ll react and you’re worried that I’m not going to tell mine because I don’t think this is serious enough.’

  He had her there. ‘Are you sure you’re not studying psychology, Dr Taylor?’

  He smiled, relieved for the break in tension. ‘Talk to me.’

  Her anger slowly ebbed away. She looked down at her drink and then back up at him. He sat, patiently, waiting for her. ‘You’re right on both counts,’ she said at last.

  ‘Well firstly, if you want to tell your parents, you absolutely should. And secondly, if you think that I’m ashamed of you, or that I’m not serious about you, then you don’t know me as well as you think you do. I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone.’

  It was the first time that either of them had said those words out loud. She knew she should respond but she was momentarily floored and simply gaped at him, mouth open wide.

  ‘Now I’m starting to think you’re ashamed of me,’ he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

  ‘Oh God, Freddy, you know I’m not. I… I love you too.’

  ‘Well I’m glad we’ve established that. So as far as I’m concerned, as long as we both know that, then does it matter who else knows?’

  ‘It does to me,’ Katie said. ‘I’m close to my parents; I’ve always been open and honest with Mum. I hate keeping this from her.’

  ‘So tell her.’

  ‘But I’m terrified about how she’ll react and Dad even more so.’

  ‘Do you want me to come back with you so we can tell them together?’

  ‘Noooooooooo.’ She shook her head violently. ‘Thanks, Freddy, but somehow I don’t think that would help.’

  ‘So why don’t you play it by ear? Get home for Crimbo, see how the land lies and take it from there?’

  ‘You do know me, right? You’ve seen the timetables on my wall and the daily to-do lists on my phone? I’m a lady who likes to plan.’

  ‘You didn’t plan this.’

  She had to agree. ‘You’re right about that.’

  ‘And look, if you want me to tell my parents, I absolutely will. I’ve got no problem with that at all, okay?’

  She nodded, pleased that they had made up, but the conversation hadn’t really helped her with her predicament. It just didn’t seem to bother Freddy as much as it did her. After they’d gone to bed, he had fallen asleep almost instantly and she had watched him sleep for a while, staring at his ridiculously handsome face and wondering how it was possible that something so wonderfully right could also feel so horribly wrong. She knew that, as much as she loved him, she would never be at peace until it was all out in the open, for better or for worse.

  As she hurriedly dressed and grabbed her coat now, she gave Freddy a quick kiss and made for the door. ‘See you later,’ she said and he nodded as he rooted around in the piles of papers on his desk for his phone. Once she was outside, she ran full pelt until she reached the university building. She dashed up the stairs, making it to the lecture theatre in the nick of time. Catching her breath, she spotted Freya and made her way over, grateful to her for saving a seat.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said, throwing herself down next to her.

  ‘Fun night?’ Freya asked, taking in her dishevelled appearance.

  ‘Kind of,’ Katie said. Freya was about to probe further but their lecturer began talking. Katie quickly turned her phone on to silent and tried to concentrate on the lesson.

  On her way out of the lecture theatre her mum called her. ‘Hey, love, just double-checking the arrangements for next week?’

  Katie knew that her mother was already well aware of the arrangements and just wanted to chat but she said patiently, ‘You’re picking me up on Saturday, about midday.’

  ‘And that works for you?’

  ‘Yes, Mum.’

  ‘Great, oh I’m so excited to have you and Tom back for the Christmas holidays. I’ve got your stockings out ready.’

  Katie smiled to herself. ‘Let me guess, the light-up reindeer is out the front too?’

  ‘Of course.’

  She thought of her parents, diligently putting up their Christmas decorations together, going shopping to get all of Tom and Katie’s favourite foods, making up their beds with their childhood festive duvets and she suddenly yearned for home. ‘I love you, Mum,’ she blurted out.

  ‘I love you too. Are you okay?’

  ‘I’m fine, I’m just looking forward to coming home.’

  ‘Me too, love.’

  After they had hung up, Katie sat down on a bench to gather her thoughts. But she already knew what she had to do. She was going to come clean to her parents over the holidays. Freddy might be able to live with this secret but she couldn’t do it anymore.

  24

  Indie propped her elbows on the balcony railings and looked out at the sun setting over the ocean. She reached for her packet of cigarettes and lit one, inhaling deeply and watching little boats in the distance, fishermen heading out to work now the afternoon heat had passed. She looked down at the pool area of the hotel below her. The crew had finally finished packing away the cameras and lights and were having a drink at the bar. She wondered if she should join them. One of them had been quite good-looking. She stubbed out her cigarette and was about to make her way back inside her room to change when her phone rang. She glanced at the screen to see who it was and then, smiling, answered it.

  ‘Hey there, squirt.’

  ‘Hey yourself, big sis,’ Freddy said. ‘And where are we at the moment?’

  ‘Canary Islands,’ Indie said. ‘Shooting a summer collection. Good job it’s still warm here in December otherwise they’d have to photoshop my nips out of all the photos.’

  ‘Delightful, thanks for that image, sis.’

  ‘Any time.’ Indie
was still looking down at the crew, hoping that they didn’t leave before she had a chance to join them. Perhaps they could all go out for dinner this evening, she thought, she’d had enough of bland hotel food and would kill for some patatas bravas.

  ‘Mum says you’re not coming home for Christmas?’

  ‘No,’ Indie said. ‘I’m going to Singapore, then Thailand for New Year.’

  ‘Sounds awful.’

  ‘It really will be.’

  ‘Well I just wanted to bend your ear about something, if you don’t mind.’

  ‘Bend away.’

  ‘I’ve met someone and I’m thinking of telling everyone about it at Christmas. I wasn’t going to, but I think it’s important to her that I do.’

  ‘Okay, and why is this a big deal?’ Indie was confused. None of them had ever had any issue bringing new boyfriends or girlfriends back to meet their parents. Even when Ellie had turned up with her first girlfriend when she was seventeen, despite not having told anyone she was gay yet, Angie and Jack hadn’t batted an eyelid.

  ‘It’s a big deal because of who it is.’

  ‘Oooh!’ Indie was intrigued now. ‘Are you shagging someone famous?’

  ‘No, it’s no one famous.’

  ‘So who is it?’ Indie saw one of the crew stand up and felt herself getting impatient.

  ‘Katie Brennan.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Katie Brennan,’ Freddy repeated. ‘She used to live next door to us in Pemberton Road? Her mum was good friends with our mum? Her dad shagged our mum?’

  Indie nearly dropped the phone in shock. She hadn’t thought about that family in years. ‘What the hell, Freddy?’

  ‘I know, but it’s not like I planned it. I bumped into her in Oxford – she goes here too – and it just happened. There’s something between us. I can’t explain it.’

  ‘A shared history of fucked-up-ness?’

  ‘No, something real, Indie. I love her. I’m in love with her.’

  Indie had never heard her kid brother use the L-word before. ‘Wow, Freddo, it sounds like it’s serious.’

  ‘It is, and that’s why I want to tell everyone, but the more I think about it, the more stressed out I get about it. What if Mum goes ballistic? What if Dad gets upset?’

  ‘It’s your life though, and if you want to spend it with the most inappropriate person you could ever have possibly found then that’s your decision.’

  ‘Thanks for the reassurance.’

  Indie thought for a moment. ‘You really love this girl?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And she really loves you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  It had been more than ten years since Indie, intent on punishing her mother, had made her New Year’s Eve revelation. When she thought back to her thirteen-year-old self, she felt ashamed about how she had behaved. She had acted like the bratty little child that she was and, in turn, had hurt so many people. For years she had tried to justify it to herself – it was her mum’s fault not hers; the truth would have come out eventually anyway – but after her parents had divorced and Sophie and Alan had moved away, she had wondered over and over again if she had done the right thing. She had destroyed one marriage and possibly a second.

  ‘Are her parents still together?’ she asked now, already dreading the answer.

  ‘Apparently so.’

  ‘Blimey.’ She tried to sound nonchalant, but she felt a flood of relief. She had always liked Sophie. Even after Indie had done what she had done, she had been really nice to her. She hadn’t deserved what had happened to her. After they had moved away and Indie could no longer glare at Alan whenever she saw him in the street, she had instead directed her anger squarely at her mother, blaming her for ruining everyone’s lives, particularly hers. She had been too young then to understand the complexities of her parents’ marriage, her mother’s breakdown and all of the factors that led to the brief but destructive affair.

  She had left home at the earliest opportunity, signing a modelling contract with her parents’ consent, and staying with her dad, or with friends, until she was old enough to get her own place.

  Maybe it was having her own space, or growing up, or simply a case of absence making the heart grow fonder but somewhere along the way her feelings towards her mother had thawed. Whatever crap Indie had thrown at her Angie had never reciprocated with anything but love and empathy. When Indie had demanded that she sign the modelling contract her mother had agreed without protest, even though Indie knew that she would have much preferred her to go to college first. She had called and texted Indie regularly, never giving her a hard time when she didn’t respond for days on end. And when Indie, who got too big for her boots and started turning down modelling jobs she deemed beneath her, had run out of money and found herself back on her mother’s doorstep, she had welcomed her with open arms.

  It was then that they had started to repair their damaged relationship. These days they got on pretty well and although Indie spent much of her time on the road, she looked forward to checking in with her mum whenever she was back in London.

  She thought about Freddy, her slightly nerdy and amazingly good-natured kid brother, and this girl who had been tiny when it had all kicked off. It was some weird fate that they had found each other again after all this time. Or was it karma? She wasn’t sure but she knew one thing – the past had finally caught up with her and it was time to face her demons.

  ‘Do you know what, Freddo? I’m not missing this showdown for love nor money. Change of plan, I’m coming home for Christmas.’

  After she hung up, she looked down and saw that the crew had disappeared. They’d probably gone off to a bar already. She stood out on the balcony for a while, watching the sea instead. Her mother had made a big mistake all that time ago but so had she.

  And it was time to make amends.

  25

  Katie looked out of her dorm room window and saw her parents hurrying across the quad towards her building. She reached for her bags and cast a glance around her room, feeling forlorn. It was only for a few weeks, she reminded herself, then she would be back again.

  In the three months since she had moved to Oxford, her life had changed beyond recognition. She loved her parents and was looking forward to spending Christmas with them, but she was also being wrenched away from the place – and people – that she had quickly grown to love. And going home also meant telling her parents about Freddy, which she was dreading. She had to resist the urge to barricade herself inside and refuse to leave.

  With one last glance around her room, she let herself out, locked the door and made her way down the stairs to meet her parents. Her phone beeped and she took it out of her pocket and read the message. It was from Freddy.

  Just got on the train. Your parents arrived yet? xxx

  She slipped it quickly back into her pocket as she caught sight of her parents. Her mum’s face lit up when she saw her. ‘Oh, Katie, look at you, you’re so grown up!’

  ‘Mum!’ Katie protested, laughing. ‘You only saw me two weeks ago.’

  ‘I know but it feels like forever.’

  Katie kissed her mum and then stood back and looked at her dad. He looked like he’d aged about ten years in three months. He stood awkwardly, unsure about whether he was allowed to hug her or not. They had spoken on the phone a few times – stilted conversations at first, which gradually eased into their normal patter as time progressed – but although her mum had visited several times, she hadn’t seen him since she left home. Watching him now, looking so nervous and indecisive, broke her heart and she threw her arms around him.

  ‘Hi, Dad.’

  ‘Hi, Kitty Kat.’

  ‘Come on, Alan, help Katie with her bags,’ her mum said, fussing. He took them off her and threw them easily over his shoulders and they made their way to where the car was parked.

  ‘Tom’s getting in at five,’ Sophie explained. ‘He’s already made plans to go out tonight but I’ve told him we’re ha
ving a family dinner first whether he likes it or not. What about you? Any plans to see your old friends?’

  Katie didn’t want to admit that she’d barely spoken to any of her school friends, that she’d been too absorbed in her new life to even think about her old ones. ‘Not tonight, but I’m sure I’ll catch up with them at some point over the holidays.’

  In the car on the way home, her mum chattered away constantly, trying to fill any awkward silences between father and daughter. Her dad, as always, said very little but chimed in every so often with an anecdote or two. Katie looked out of the window at the countryside rushing past and thought about Freddy. She wondered if his train had arrived in London yet and who would be there to greet him. She pictured him returning to Pemberton Road, the street where she had spent the first eight years of her life, of him walking past her old house and thinking of her. She thought about the prospect of telling her parents about him and felt nauseous. And, more than anything, she thought about how soon she could be with him again.

  Indie climbed out of the taxi in Pemberton Road and stood outside her mum’s house. She glanced briefly at the house next door before quickly looking away, and then she took a deep breath, walked up the steps and let herself in through the front door.

  ‘Hi, honey, I’m home!’ she yelled, slamming the door closed with a satisfactory bang.

  ‘Indie?’ Her mum appeared from the kitchen, tea towel in hand. ‘Indie! My goodness! What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Singapore?’

  ‘Change of plan,’ she said, shrugging off her coat and giving her mum an air kiss. ‘Thought I’d spend Christmas with you lot of losers instead.’

  ‘I haven’t got your room ready–’ her mum began but Indie stopped her.

  ‘It’s fine, Mum, don’t worry.’

  ‘Oh, I’m so delighted to see you. We’ll have the whole family back together for the first time in… Golly, how long has it been?’

  Ellie and her girlfriend, Chrissie, came down the stairs. Ellie’s face lit up with delight when she saw her sister.