Choosing You

by Stacy Finz

  “Sounds nice.” She was trying to sound gracious but Ethan heard an undercurrent of . . . something. Not resentment or even jealousy. It was more like sadness. But given the circumstances it wasn’t as if he could invite her to be his date.

  “Look, I divorced Joey, not her parents. And they are Veronica’s grandparents.”

  She touched his arm. “It’s lovely that you’re going. Truly.” She turned away and searched the horizon. “Mason’s mother died when he was in college and his father a year before we married. It’s just his sister now. That’s the only part of Henry’s paternal family he’ll ever know. It’s wonderful that Veronica still has three grandparents.”

  “I don’t think Lou Ellen and Ace have fully forgiven me for moving away.” Or divorcing their daughter. Ace in particular had made his feelings known on that count. “And there’s an unspoken rivalry between Lou Ellen and Alma. Though it’s mostly on Lou Ellen’s end. So, I try to keep the peace.”

  “Of course. And they’re your family . . . Roni’s family.”

  One of the things he’d never gotten used to after the divorce was the division of family and friends as if they were assets. You get the house, the time share in Hawaii, and Vicki and Bob. At least Lou Ellen tried to remain neutral. But in cases involving Veronica, they almost always sided with Joey, even when it wasn’t in their granddaughter’s best interest.

  Jay, less subtle than even Ace, made no bones about calling Ethan a prick. He thought Ethan should’ve stood by his sister even while she self-destructed, taking everyone down with her.

  Ethan held on to a lot of guilt over that decision. But not because of anything Jay had to say. Ethan knew for a fact that his ex-brother-in-law had been at his car dealership, fucking his secretary—probably still was—while his wife was at the hospital, giving birth to their first child. So it wasn’t as if he relied on Jay to be his moral compass.

  His family, who’d never cared much for Joey in the first place, cut bait with her before the ink even dried on their divorce papers. Especially his sister. It bothered him—still did—because Joey could’ve used their support, not their derision.

  “What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked, wanting to change the subject.

  “No plans. Sunday I’m going to that high tea they serve at the Lumber Baron. According to Donna, it’s the last one until fall.”

  Alma went sometimes and she had taken Roni once or twice. Other than the sweets, Veronica had loudly deemed it boring. “Why don’t Henry and I find some guy things to do while you’re at the tea?”

  “Really?” Her face brightened with interest. “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. Wrestle steers, ride a few bulls, throw back a couple of beers, hit the blackjack tables in Reno.” His mouth curved up in a teasing smile. He watched Henry absorbed in dragging his line across the water. The grapes weren’t getting so much as a nibble. “Or maybe I’ll show him how to tie a jig and perfect a San Diego Jam knot.”

  “Excuse me, were you just speaking in Greek?”

  “Nah, fishing talk.” He quickly flicked another glance at Henry, pulled Brynn towards him, and kissed her softly on the mouth. “If you don’t know what this means, allow me to interpret,” he said against her mouth. “You’re beautiful Brynn Barnes and later, I plan to take you to bed.”

  * * * *

  “Roni, we’re going to be late. Five more minutes, then I’m coming up there and carrying you down.” When had his daughter become obsessed with clothes and dressing up?

  Wasn’t it only yesterday that she’d worn denim Oshkosh overalls everywhere she went? Today, she’d spent more than an hour in her bedroom, in front of a mirror, consumed with which outfit to wear to her grandparents’ party.

  “I’m ready.” She came down the stairs in a frilly black and white polka dot dress with a satin bow he’d never seen before.

  “Look at my bonny Roni. Where’d you get that?” He waved his hand over the ensemble, which included a pair of white sandals that seemed too summery for April.

  “Mommy. She got me three new dresses and these.” She stuck her foot in the air. “She said I could wear whichever one I wanted.”

  “Yeah? What happened to overalls?” He hoisted her up on his hip. Pretty soon she’d be too big for him to do that anymore.

  “Daddy, those are for little kids.”

  “Who says?”

  “Everyone.” She rolled her eyes. “Danica gets to wear high heels.”

  “Oh yeah. Is she coming tonight?” Danica was eight, going on sixteen. Jay and Moira spoiled her rotten and the kid had an attitude. Ethan didn’t want it rubbing off on Roni.

  Roni nodded. “Teddy too. Mommy says we’re all getting our picture taken with Geema and Geepa. It’s going to be this big.” She spread her hands wide. “That way they can hang it on the wall and always remember us.”

  “I bet they’ll love that. You ready to giddy up?” He grabbed her denim jacket from the hall closet.

  “Daddy that doesn’t go.” She squirmed out of his arms and shot upstairs.

  “Since when?” he called to her back, once again wondering where the new obsession with matching clothes had come from.

  She came down with a black fuzzy cardigan.

  “Let me guess. Mommy got that for you, too.” Joey had always been a clothes horse. It appeared she was passing on her love affair to their daughter. “Let’s get, kiddo, before we miss dinner.”

  An hour later, he took his place next to Joey at a forty-foot-long dinner table.

  Jay was at the far end, holding court, letting everyone know he was paying for the party. “Jim, what are you doing with beer? Get a mixed drink. You want a Jack and Coke?” He turned to the waitress whose ass he’d been ogling the entire time she’d been taking orders. “Honey, get my friend here a Jack and Coke.”

  “You look nice,” Joey whispered in his ear.

  “You too,” he said, though to be truthful he’d been too busy trying to avoid Jay to notice. “Is this going to be okay for you?” The booze was flowing like the Feather River.

  “Is what going to be okay?” Someone passed her a bottle of red wine. “Oh, this. Drinking was never my problem.” She handed him the bottle and in deference to her, he sent it down the table.

  Alcohol may not have been what ultimately brought her down but Joey had always been a drinker. He suspected that if it hadn’t been the pills, liquor would’ve been her drug of choice. It ran in the Nix family. Ethan had never seen Ace without a bourbon in his hand and Jay when he wasn’t sloppy. Lou Ellen could drain two bottles of wine by herself in one sitting.

  Ace, who was making the rounds, came over and slapped Ethan on the back. “Glad you could make it, son. We miss not seeing you.”

  “Happy anniversary, Ace. Great party.”

  “We must’ve done something right.” He swept his hands in the air at the forty or so guests who’d come to celebrate. “And Joey . . . a father couldn’t ask for a better daughter.”

  She stood up and kissed him on the cheek. “Love you, Pop.”

  “And Jay. Stand up, Jay.” Jay rose and because no one knew what to do next, everyone applauded.

  Except Ethan. If he was being a dick, so be it.

  Joey elbowed him and shook her head, laughing. He covered his mouth, laughing too. Despite the love she had for her brother, she knew he was a pompous ass. Jay had always been their inside joke.

  Both turned to the section of the table where Veronica sat with her cousins. Like her Uncle Jay, she was telling a loud story while Teddy blew bubbles in his Sprite with a straw.

  “That dress kills me. She picked it out that time I took her shopping. All she wants to wear are dresses now. Remember when she used to be a little tomboy?”

  “Yeah, I miss it. How long until I have to lock her inside the house?”

  “I know, right?” Jo
ey sighed. “She sure is growing up.” Joey looked at him and he knew instantly what she was suggesting.

  He knew her mind set. That was the thing about being married to someone for eight years. You knew what they were thinking even before they did.

  Not tonight, Joey.

  He didn’t want to talk about custody arrangements at Lou Ellen and Ace’s anniversary celebration. Frankly, he didn’t want to talk about it at all. But especially not here.

  A few chairs down, one of Lou Ellen’s friends struck up a conversation and Joey moved to the empty seat next to her in order to hear the woman over the noise of the party. It was a good time for Ethan to hit the head, maybe send a text to Brynn, who he hadn’t stopped thinking about.

  On his way, he bumped into Jay near the bar. He tipped his head in greeting and tried to keep going but Jay wanted to talk.

  “How’s business?” he asked, sloshing whiskey on Ethan’s boots. Business. As if more kids with broken bones equated to a better bottom line.

  “How’s yours?” Ethan returned without answering. Jay only wanted to talk about himself anyway.

  “Never better. You ought to come in, take a look at some of the new Fords. I got Joey a great deal.”

  “Maybe I will.” Ethan started to step away.

  “Hey” —Jay stuck his arm out to stop Ethan, sloshing more of the whiskey—“what are your intentions with Roni? Are you going to jack my sister up as far as custody?”

  Ethan tried to keep his cool. As much as he wanted to knock the son-of-a-bitch on his ass, this was not the time nor the place. He eyed the two drinks Jay fisted in both hands and with all the calm he could muster said, “Not here, Jay.”

  “Here seems as good a place as any, you sanctimonious piece of crap.”

  “You’re shitfaced, as usual. You really want to ruin your parents’ party . . . do this in front of the kids?”

  “What are you afraid of Daniels? You afraid I’ll mangle those hands of yours?”

  Jesus, what was it with Ethan’s hands that everyone was so obsessed with?

  “You fight Joey on this, and I’ll hire her the best lawyer money can buy.”

  “You do that.” Ethan started to walk away but couldn’t help himself. He grabbed Jay by the collar. “Next time you want to make a scene in the middle of a gathering, I won’t be this restrained.”

  He bypassed the bathroom and went back to the party. As much as he hated to admit it, Jay was looking out for his baby sister’s best interests. Even if Jay was a world-class douchebag, it was hard to fault a guy for that.

  “What’s wrong?” Joey asked as he took his seat next to her.

  “Nothing.”

  She tilted her head to the side and locked eyes with him. “Come on, I know you. The minute you walked in the room I could tell something was up. Is it a patient?”

  “No, I had words with your brother,” he said in a soft voice as not to be overheard.

  “Oh, Jesus. What did he say and why were you even engaging with him? You know how he gets.”

  “Yeah, I shouldn’t have. It’s fine.” He brushed her arm. “What did I miss while I was gone?”

  “The kids and my folks posed for a picture. Mac Murphy spilled red wine on his wife’s new outfit and my Aunt Dorothy made a toast that was pretty much incoherent. Other than that, nothing.” She motioned to the head of the table. “Looks like our salads have arrived.”

  Good, he was anxious to get home. If he timed it right, he could get to Brynn’s before she turned in for the night.

  He rushed through dinner, wished Lou Ellen and Ace a happy anniversary again, collected Roni, and said goodbye.

  “I’ll walk you to the car.” Joey followed them out to the parking lot.

  He belted Veronica into her booster seat and came around to the driver side, where Joey was waiting. Clearly, she had something she wanted to talk about out of earshot of Roni because she moved away from his truck.

  “It was a nice thing you and Jay did for your parents. I could tell it meant a lot to them.”

  “Have you thought more about our discussion?”

  So much for small talk. “About Roni and custody?” He huffed out a breath. “Joe, let’s end the night on a high note.” Though that ship had sailed with Jay. But it wasn’t Joey’s fault.

  She shook her head. “About us . . . trying again.”

  “We talked about this and all the reasons it was a bad idea.”

  Her bottom lip began to quiver and his night went from bad to worse.

  “How can putting our family back together be a bad idea?”

  Because he wanted more than to merely exist in a marriage. But maybe he was being selfish. Who the hell knew? What he did know was he didn’t want to do this now in a Reno parking lot. He wanted to go home.

  He wanted Brynn.

  As if reading his mind, which Joey had always had a knack for doing, she said, “It’s because of her, isn’t it?”

  He was afraid to answer the question. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Joey. He’d loved her once and still cared about her deeply. “It’s not about Brynn. She’s leaving, Joe. You know that.”

  “But you’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Her eyes filled with tears. “Just say it. You’re choosing her over me, the mother of your child, the wife who used to be the love of your life. You’re choosing a woman you barely know, a woman who more than likely has distorted feelings for you because of her son.”

  He’d spent a lot of time thinking about that, wondering whether Brynn’s feelings for him were tied up in the complexities of savior syndrome. It wasn’t unusual in his field. It was one of the many good reasons doctors weren’t supposed get involved with their patients or their patients’ parents.

  “Let’s not do this,” he said, drying one of her tears with his hand. “Please, Joey.”

  “Go, just go.” She turned from him and crossed the parking lot.

  He watched her disappear inside the restaurant and got inside his truck.

  Roni was asleep in the backseat, her head crooked against her shoulder in her pretty polka dot dress. Her face rosy, covered in a sheen of little girl sweat. Ethan sat there for a while, watching her breathe, his heart coming out of his chest.

  Chapter 22

  Brynn waited until she could no longer keep her eyes open for Ethan. But he never came. It wasn’t until the next morning that she saw his text—“Roni and I are turning in for the night. I’ll be over to get Henry in time for you to make your hair appointment.”—and spent most of breakfast analyzing it.

  It was nothing, she told herself. They had been exhausted from the party, though the text came in only a little after ten. Maybe Alma went to Reno for the weekend, leaving Ethan without a babysitter.

  There were dozens of reasons why he’d canceled. Yet, she focused on just one.

  But as she got ready for her day, she forced herself not to dwell on it.

  Henry practically vibrated, he was so excited about spending the day with Ethan. Frankly, she was jealous. Though she was looking forward to the tea, she’d trade it in a New York minute for time with Ethan. Alone.

  Her phone rang and she rushed to get it, hoping like a high school girl that it was him. But it turned out to be Griffin.

  “Mornin’. I’m just checking in.” It was a subtle way of asking whether Brynn had finished his campaign.

  She liked his style. It was much better than the usual client, whose vocabulary didn’t include subtlety. “I’m just playing around with the finishing touches and waiting for a call from my office with their demographics research, which will help us establish where to place ads.”

  “Wow. I’d love to see what you’ve got so far.”

  “I’m due at Darla’s at two. I might be able to squeeze you in before.” If she could get Ethan to move up his plans with Henry. “Le
t me make some arrangements and I’ll call you back.”

  “Great. And Brynn, thank you. I’m pumped about this.”

  She was too. It was a solid campaign that didn’t oversell, but in her opinion was tantalizing enough to whip up interest in Sierra Heights with the right kind of buyers.

  She debated over whether to send Ethan a down and dirty text—can you babysit an extra hour? —or call him, which would probably result in a conversation about why he hadn’t shown up last night.

  Stop being a drama queen.

  She called. It took a while for him to answer and when he did she could tell she’d interrupted something. “Bad time?”

  “Uh, no. But cell is sketchy out here, so I might lose you.”

  “Where are you?”

  “Fixing a fence on the south border of the ranch. A steer got out this morning and wandered onto Barlow property.”

  She glanced at the clock. It was ten and she had no idea how long it took to mend a fence. “I hate to ask but is there any way you could take Henry an hour early? Griffin wants to meet over his new campaign. If it won’t work, though, don’t worry. I can meet with Griffin another time.”

  “Sure. I promised Roni we’d take the boat out on the lake, do a little fishing. This will give us more time on the water. Henry will love it.”

  She wondered why Veronica wasn’t with Joey but was afraid to ask, convinced that something between Ethan and his ex happened at the party. Something Brynn wasn’t ready to hear. “You’re a life saver.”

  She hung up, dissecting the conversation. Had he been distant? Was it weird he hadn’t mentioned the night before? She continued to analyze every intonation until he showed up shortly before one to pick up Henry.

  She’d dressed up a bit in the kind of clothes she wore to lunches with her friends in the city: a tailored skirt, fitted jacket, high heels and makeup. It was probably over the top by Nugget standards but it was high tea after all. And if she was being honest with herself, she wanted Ethan to see her in something other than jeans and a sweater.

  “Wow.” He backed up, his eyes gleaming with male appreciation, alleviating some of her earlier anxiety. “You look smokin’.”