The Autumn Leaf

by Brittany Tarkington

  When I got back to the house it was damn near too quiet. Then I remembered half of the guys were practicing or in class. I trudged up the stairs, lagging after my workout, and walked to the end of the hallway where my bedroom was.

  After a long night of a beer pong tournament, I won the master bedroom for the rest of my time here. Of course, I didn’t want to stay with this bunch of idiots much longer. I would be out of here just as soon as my trust fund was available come December. I was just here for the free ride until I could provide for myself. The last thing I would ever do was ask my father for anything else.

  As if he could sense me, my phone rang. It was Friday afternoon, and for some reason that was lost on me he felt the need to call me every Friday.

  “Yeah?” I answered.

  I heard him sigh, but he decided not to go there with me today. “How was your week?”

  “Good,” I replied. I dropped to my bed, turned on the TV, and officially blocked out the conversation. We had the same conversation every week. It got old pretending. I’d always felt blood didn’t mean anything; you could create your own family. You didn’t have to hold on to toxic people because you thought you owed them something.

  “How’s baseball going? Are you back in the cages yet?”

  “Nah, I’m not playing,” I said, deciding to change the conversation topic. I hadn’t argued with him in a long time. Maybe if I pissed him off, he wouldn’t call me anymore. Then he and his wife who was five years older than me could live their happily ever after in the house my dead mother designed.

  “What the hell are you doing, Liam? You’re not serious about school. Now this? You think you can just waltz through life, doing whatever you want. You’re graduating next year. Get your shit together,” he seethed, and I smiled.

  “Get my shit together. Heard,” I said. The great thing about living away from a parent you hate, is that you can be as big of a dick to them as you want, and they can’t do anything about it.

  “I’m really concerned about your future, Liam. If you were smart you would be, too.”

  “Maybe one day I’ll be as smart as you,” I said.

  “This is serious!”

  “Tell your wife I said hi.” I smiled, knowing that would hit a nerve.

  “Goodbye, Liam,” he said, and with that he hung up. I chuckled, tossing my phone to the end of my bed. Call me a dick, but it made me happy knowing I could fuck with him now. He cheated on my mom, treated her like shit, and hit me from the day my build started threatening him. If he thought his Friday afternoon chats would change that, he had me confused with someone else.

  My phone vibrated continuously. It was Friday afternoon, which meant I would usually be looking for a party and a girl for the evening. Every time I saw it wasn’t Autumn saying she’d changed her mind, I got annoyed. I decided to turn it off. I would change her mind tomorrow.

  Seven

  I woke early this morning to get everything done before Josie woke up. I didn’t want her to tag along. I changed my clothes and stuffed a large wad of cash into my purse before leaving. My first stop was to get a new cell phone and sign up for my own plan. I was starting to feel independent. For the first time since I left, I felt like I could make it completely on my own.

  As soon as I left the store, I searched nearby used car lots. “Lemons Aide” was the closest, within walking distance, so I took off in that direction. Within thirty minutes, I found the car that would get me through college and bought it immediately.

  “She’s all yours.”

  I grabbed the keys as he tossed them into my hand. My 2010 Nissan Altima with over 80,000 miles on it would get me where I needed to be while in college. I turned my head, inspecting it. It wasn’t that bad. The pearl white paint was spotless, and the rims gleamed as if they were brand new. If I was being honest, I was damn proud of it.

  If they were still alive, you wouldn’t have any of this. I shook my head before the tears fell. For whatever reason, this was the hand I was dealt.

  My car salesman, Chip, was grinning at me. His bald head reflected the sunlight and sweat beaded his face. This was not the most trusted establishment in Seattle, but Chip didn’t ask any questions when I paid cash for my new ride.

  “Thanks again,” I said, offering a tight smile before I got into my new car.

  Before leaving the lot, I typed in the address to a bank near campus. Luckily, the lobby was still open. I parked my car, staring at it before walking in. I only grabbed a small amount of cash to open an account. It was mine legally, but I don’t like people knowing anything about my past.

  “Can I help you?” I looked over, finding a plump lady with gray hair smiling behind a desk.

  “I need to open an account,” I said.

  “Come over, dear. I can take care of that.”

  Her affection made my heart flutter. I’d never had a grandmother figure in my life. When I worked at the café, I had a few regulars who spoke to me as if I were their own. I craved their words. I sat down in front of her, waiting for instructions. I twirled my red hair as she dug through her desk.

  “Checking or savings?” she asked, rummaging through her drawer.

  “Both,” I said. Two accounts were harder to keep tabs on than one.

  “Okay, I just need your social security card and driver’s license. You can fill out this form while I make copies,” she said, smiling at me. She slid over papers and a pen, waiting for me. I grabbed my purse, finding my wallet that only held my personal information, then I gave her what she had asked for. She disappeared into the back while I finished the paperwork. When she came back, I was finished, and she handed me my cards.

  “Are you depositing a check or cash?” she asked.

  “Cash,” I said. Exhaling a long, shaky breath, I put the money I brought with me on her desk. Her eyes went wide, but she quickly composed herself. If she only knew that wasn’t anywhere near what I had. “Can you put half in savings and half in checking?”

  “Of course, dear. Let me hand this to a teller,” she said, pointing behind her. She walked to the back, handing the money to another lady. When she came back, she handed me a folder.

  “Patricia is handling your deposit. The folder has all your account information and my number in it. It also has your debit card and a temporary checkbook until your new one arrives.”

  Patricia walked over and handed me two receipts. I looked at them, seeing that she had distributed the amount I asked, and smiled at her.

  “Is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked.

  “No ma’am, I think that’s everything,” I said.

  “My card’s in your folder, so call if you need anything.”

  “Thank you,” I said sincerely. Everyone had been so helpful today. My hope in humanity had been restored. I grabbed my purse and folder before leaving. When I arrived on campus, I found a parking garage that was full of cars. It was the closest to my dorm. Josie was furiously digging through her closet as I came inside. I dropped my bag onto my bed and slid my folder into one of the drawers in my desk.

  “Where have you been?” she asked. Her digging ceased.

  “I picked up a phone and a car,” I said, shrugging like it was no big deal. Three hours ago, I almost hyperventilated over my purchases, but I knew they were necessary. I couldn’t hide away on campus forever.

  “What did you get?” she asked, intrigued.

  “A used Altima.”

  “You just went out and bought a car on your own?” she asked, watching me intently. I hated that she knew I had secrets. She was the definition of a frenemy, but there was something about her that made me want to get along with her. A “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer” kind of thing.

  “I told you I saved up some money before I came, and I got a job yesterday. So yeah, I can afford to buy a lemon,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “Your parents wouldn’t let you drive yours up here?”

  “It’s a long drive.”

&n
bsp; “Oh, right…Texas. I keep forgetting,” she said. She stuck her head back in the closet. “By the way, I found something perfect for you!”

  “Great, I can’t wait to see it,” I said, sarcasm dripping from my lips.

  “You’ll thank me later. Guys are going to be all over you with that tight little body of yours,” she said, tossing me the black material.

  “That’s not my goal but thanks, I guess,” I said. I held it out, inspecting it. It didn’t look as bad as I had thought, but it wasn’t something I would pick out for myself.

  I turned, facing the wall, and kicked my jeans and tee off. I slid the stretchy black dress over my head. Turning, I inspected it in the mirror. It was a high-neck halter-top that stopped right after the curve of my ass. It was as modest as Josie could possibly be.

  “Damn!” she said, looking at the dress. “I’m giving this dress to you. Oh my God, it makes your hair pop!”

  “Uh, thanks,” I said, looking in the mirror once more. She was right. It did look awesome on me. The black material stood out against my creamy skin and vibrant red waves. I looked like Ariel gone bad.

  “I’m serious. Here, sit in the chair. Let me do your makeup.” After being pinched and prodded for what felt like an eternity, Josie moved out of the way. It was ten minutes. “Ta-da!”

  My eyes were the main focal point. They were smokey, but not over the top. Just enough to make a statement. My eyebrows were cleaned up and darkened, and my lips were a shade above neutral.

  “Wow,” I said, touching my face to see if it was real. “I’m impressed.”

  “I know,” she said, flipping her hair. “Your hair is perfect. I’m jealous. Let me get my makeup on and we’re out of here!”

  I stood up, letting her take the chair. The butterflies in my stomach were laying eggs, producing more, and sending my anxiety into a full-blown attack. I didn’t know what to expect from tonight. I’d never been invited to a party and was starting to feel weird about being dressed up.

  She covered her entire face in creamy makeup, and with a stroke of a brush added color to her cheekbones and forehead. I studied her, hoping to catch on to what she was doing. At some point in my college career, I must learn how to do makeup.

  As if she knew I was watching her she looked up at me, smiling. That was the thing with beautiful people; they knew someone was always watching them. Josie babbled on about the party and a guy she hoped to run into. I tried to give her my attention, but my mind was on my foreign clothes, a party, and a boy that I hoped I wouldn’t run in to.

  “Ready!” she said as she shot up from the chair. She slung her purse over her body, draping it at her side, and walked to the door. I followed closely behind her, catching my appearance in the mirror one last time. I look normal, I told myself. I grabbed my car keys, but Josie took them from me, laying them on the table.

  “You’re riding with me, duh,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  “What if I want to leave early?”

  “I said I would leave when you’re ready, didn’t I?” she asked, eyebrow cocked at me. I nodded yes, but I seriously doubted that she would drop everything to take me back if I wanted to. I left all my fear and resolution at the door and followed her, fully trusting her.

  Eight

  “Does your offer still stand?” I asked, closing the door behind me. There were a dozen people looking at me; some curious, some smirking. In a room full of people, fresh meat always stood out.

  “Not before you’ve given it a chance,” Josie said as she grabbed my hand, yanking me ahead of her. “Let’s get you a drink. You’ll have fun!”

  She was yelling over the music as we walked through the sea of people. My initial shock had passed, and I realized no one cared about me. I was just another student among thousands at a university.

  When Josie insisted, I go with her, my mind went to a stage, pig’s blood, and laughter. Sooner or later, I needed to realize the past was behind me. If I played the part, no one would realize who I really was. After all, we were all just searching for ourselves in college.

  The kitchen was large and bright, peppered with students talking around a keg. Josie grabbed a cup and mixed two drinks, handing me one. She smiled as she took a drink of hers. Her attention was all over the place as she scanned the crowd.

  “There he is,” Josie attempted to whisper. I looked over, finding a guy I’d never seen before. Josie was holding her drink to her chest, grinning. When she looked at me, her brows shot up with a mischievous smile. “Be right back.”

  She draped her arms around his back, holding her hands over his eyes. When he turned around and spotted her, I knew it was over. I was being ditched at my first outing.

  “Great,” I mumbled as I took a seat on an empty chair in the kitchen. I took a sip of the drink for the first time, noting it wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be. It was sweet, and I didn’t feel like I was instantly turning into an alcoholic like my mother warned me would happen.

  I am not feeling sorry for myself.

  I slumped over my cup, looking around the room. Everyone seemed to know each other, or they were too consumed with their drinks to care. I picked up my red cup, inspecting it. Here goes nothing. I lifted the cup to my lips, pouring the rest of it down my throat. My face scrunched up in disgust. The second taste was worse than the first.

  “You came,” he said from behind me. I froze.

  “You invited me,” I said, turning around. He was dressed better than all three times I’d run in to him. Which didn’t sound like a lot but running into someone everyday sounded better. I’d known him for a total of three days, and he was one of the closest friends I had. I let that idea roll around in my head. My life was sad.

  His blue Henley was fitted, and his jeans were light, ripped, and perfect in all the right places. His blue-gray eyes caught mine, bringing me to his face. He had everything going for him. Why was he wasting his time talking to me?

  “No, I didn’t.” He shook his head, and my face pooled with heat. “Josie invited you here.”

  “I’m surprised you’re talking to me. Your friends might see you,” I said, rolling my eyes. I turned away from him. I’m stuck. I patted my side, remembering the dress had pockets and that I was the proud owner of a new phone. I could call for a ride. I pulled out my phone, and he walked around to face me.

  “You didn’t let me finish. I wanted to invite you somewhere else,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

  “Why?” I asked, eyeing him suspiciously. I went from being the most hated person in high school to a sought-out girl in college. Maybe people liked you more when they thought you were like them. This wasn’t a fairytale. This was my reality, and it seemed a little fucked-up.

  “You can’t get to know people at a party,” he said, bringing his cup to his mouth. “Unless…this is all you do?”

  I ignored his dig. “But…why do you want to get to know me?”

  “Why are you so hard on yourself?”

  “Who said I was?” I asked defensively.

  “No one has to say it. I can tell by your tone, by the way you hold yourself…the way you talk. It’s a damn shame.” He shot me a disapproving look.

  “What is?”

  “That you don’t see yourself the way everyone else does,” he said.

  I looked at him as if he had an extra head. I wanted to scream that I did see myself the way everyone else did, but I don’t. I just let him compliment me, because soon enough he would get it. They all would.

  “I’m working on that,” I said, not elaborating. I was working on holding myself to a higher standard, but that took time.

  “So, what do you say? Do you want to get out of here?” he asked, leaning across the table. He set his cup down, waiting for me to answer.

  “Excuse me?” I cocked my eyebrow, waiting for him to word that better.

  “I live here, so technically I’m not asking you to come home with me. I’m asking you to leave,” he said, smiling. I held my ha
nd to my mouth, holding back my laughter.

  “Does that line usually work?”

  “It does,” he said, throwing a grin at me. He held out his hand, waiting for me to take it. His face broke out into a brilliant smile when I accepted his invitation.

  I stood, eyebrow cocked, waiting for him to take me somewhere. Anywhere. He led me up the stairs and to the last room in the hallway. My fist was clenched as I waited for him to talk. I didn’t move across the country to fall into bed with the first guy who was nice to me.

  I made that mistake once when I was a freshman. I had a shitty home life, he was nice to me, said he loved me. All the big production. After I gave him what he wanted, it turned out nothing about it was real. It was a bet. A stupid fucking bet that ruined my high school life.

  “I thought we were getting out of here,” I stated, putting air quotes around my invisible words.

  “We left the kitchen, didn’t we?” he quipped.

  “Right…” I took a few steps back. I knew this was a mistake, but at least I recognized the destructive path the people in my life were pulling me down.

  “You said you didn’t want to go out when I texted you. I just thought maybe we could hang out up here, away from the noise.”

  “Away from everyone?” I asked, as if he’d lost his mind. Is that what he thought about me?

  “What are you doing way over there?” he asked, turning on the TV. He was completely oblivious to the fact that I was slowly slipping out.

  “I think you’re confused about who I am,” I said, twisting the doorknob. “It’s still early, though. You should be able to replace me.”

  With that, I took off. I didn’t stop, not even when he came after me. I grabbed my phone. Dialing the number to the campus uber I ran outside, only stopping when I could hide behind cars.

  The door opened and shut. I knew he was out here, looking for me. I was being childish and hiding from my problems. To my advantage there was a driver close to the frat house. When I saw headlights, I dashed to the car. I didn’t consider that I could be getting into the car of a serial killer but, honestly, I wasn’t anyone’s type. I doubted a serial killer would even want to kill me.