She closed the door, sitting on one of the chairs, motioning for me to sit across from her. I did, but I felt impatient. My leg was bouncing up and down enough to shake the entire building.
“Josie has, like, a serious obsession with you.”
“Tell me something I don’t know. Just get to it.”
“Well, she saw the way you looked at Autumn immediately, and she knew it was becoming a problem. At first, she was just venting to me about it every day, but one day she asked me to do some digging. She even put a camera in their dorm room. We found some crazy stuff, Liam. She’s a missing person…” Her eyes went wide, like she was telling me something I didn’t know.
“I know everything about her, and she had every right to run away, take everything with her, and not tell a soul.”
“I mean, I don’t know everything. I just connected her to her father,” Sara said, shrugging her shoulders.
I rubbed my hand down my face, so frustrated. “Her father is abusive, Sara! You know what your friend did with that information? She dragged him up here and threw him at her during her birthday party!”
She cringed. “I didn’t think it would go that far.”
“You didn’t think? There’s a million-dollar sentence. Neither of you thinks about anyone other than yourselves!”
“Liam, you have to believe me. I am so sorry. I’ll go to Autumn right now and tell her everything. I didn’t know about her dad. I thought, well, I thought maybe she had done something bad and you needed to know.”
The door flew open and in walked Josie. She looked between me and Sara, immediately hurt. “What’s this?”
“She’s just filling me in,” I said.
“She’s lying!” Josie immediately insisted. Her eyes were filled with rage as she narrowed in on Sara. She flung herself at her, but I stepped in, keeping her back.
“You’re both insane. I am telling Autumn, and I suggest you two make it right with her. She’s a good person. She didn’t deserve your shit.”
Josie jerked away from me. “What do you even know about her, Liam? She took off with her family’s money after half of them died in a suspicious accident!”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but Autumn came from a bad home. Her brother may have committed suicide. He left that money to her to start over and get away from their abusive dad. And then you paraded him around, shoving it in her face.”
Josie looked stunned, and for a moment I thought I saw her eyes fill with tears. “Liam, I’m sorry.”
“I’m not the one you should apologize to!” And with that I left. Rage filled me as I ran from the building and in the direction of the coffee shop. If she wasn’t there, she would at least have to walk by it on the way to her dorm.
I spotted her red hair piled on top of her head. She was looking at her phone, walking past the coffee shop where I’d asked to meet.
“Autumn?”
She looked at me, disappointed. “You missed the final.”
“I emailed the professor.”
“Must be nice to get everything you want.”
“That’s hardly the case.”
“I know how she found out.” I completely ignored her jab at me.
She stopped walking, turning to face me. “And how did you do that, Liam? Hmm? Drinking? Punching your best friend in the face? Who the hell are you? Because this is not the guy, I fell…” She cut herself off, twisting her lips into disgust.
“If there’s even a small chance you care about me, listen to me. I think Sara and Josie will tell you. I kind of went off on them.”
Her eyes went wide. “You went to see them?”
“Sara was digging into you at the records office, and Josie had a camera, and they found everything out.”
“You know how crazy you sound, right?” She stared at me as if I had grown two heads.
“I know, but you have to believe me.”
She looked down, thinking. “I don’t know what to believe, Liam. Maybe when Josie shows up and tells me herself. Maybe then someone can explain to me why someone stole my money.”
“She did what?”
She shook her head in disbelief. “I need to put my stuff up. I’ll call you later.”
I watched her walk off, not daring to go after her. For the first time in two weeks, I had a glimmer of hope. She would call me. Josie and Sara would do the right thing. It would work out. It had to.
Thirty-Four
Finals were finally over. I could breathe. My first semester of college was behind me, and somehow, I finished with a 4.0. The dorms were emptying by the minute as students left for the break. However, the few stragglers who stayed behind were getting ready for the end of semester party hosted by, you guessed it, the fraternity Liam was in.
It was fine, though. We were past it. We talked when we saw each other; there was zero awkwardness. That was exactly why I let Gabby talk me into going tonight. His birthday was last week; I texted him happy birthday. After our phone call, he asked if I had heard from Josie or Sara. He had tried to explain again, but I just couldn’t allow myself to go back. Without absolute proof, I would always wonder. That wasn’t fair to either of us.
Zero.
Awkwardness.
As I walked to my car, I felt a pang of sadness. For the past semester, I had constantly been with Gabby or Liam. Everything had changed in the last month. Gabby spent all her time with Tyler, and Liam, well, I tried not to think about what he did with his time.
I didn’t turn on the radio the entire drive over. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that had gone down, wondering what went wrong. How I could have done things differently. When I neared the house, cars were lined up on the street, but it wasn’t like previous parties. Most students had already left for the break.
Smoothing down my red sweater I walked up the lawn, awkwardly walking through the front door. At least two dozen students were peppered around the foyer and living room. I squeezed my way through, knowing my crowd usually hung back in the kitchen.
As soon as we made eye contact Gabby squealed and ran over to me, pulling me into a tight hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”
“I know. I’m sorry, but I’m free the next three weeks,” I said, shrugging. Class was over and the bookstore was closed. That left me with absolutely nothing to do.
“Stay with me?” she offered.
“Sure. I need to be around a friend,” I said, and she nodded knowingly.
“Hey Autumn.” My blood ran cold. The last time I’d heard that voice, it ruined my entire life in the State of Washington.
“What the hell do you want?” Liam asked her before I could.
“I wanted to explain…” Josie replied.
“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” Gabby asked, gesturing between Liam and me.
“That’s why I wanted to now. Look, I’m going to another school next semester. I just want a clean slate. I’ve ruined everything here in the last year and a half.”
“That’s the only true thing you’ve ever said,” Liam seethed.
“I deserve that,” she said, looking at him before fixing her gaze on me. “Whatever you’ve heard is true. I made Sara dig everything up about you. I dragged your dad up here to get Liam away from you. I gave your dad some of your money. I thought you were a bad person. I thought I was in some way saving Liam from you.”
“Correction,” Gabby said, snapping her fingers to gain her attention, “you were trying to steal Liam.”
“Either way, I did a bad thing and I am sorry. I’m leaving school now, so don’t worry about seeing me around. I won’t bother you anymore,” Josie said, and with that she turned and walked out of our lives. I looked to Gabby, Tyler, Liam, and everyone around us, wondering if they’d heard the same thing I had.
Liam was watching me. His face was unreadable. Of course, he’d heard her. He had been trying to tell me for a month. I just wouldn’t listen. I’d needed absolute proof, and for the first time in a month I had it. Would
he ever understand that? Could he understand me?
Gabby stepped to me, inches away from my ear. “Go to him. He’s been shot down too many times to ask,” she whispered.
Without a second thought I went to him, grabbing his hand. “Can we go to your room and talk?”
Unsure, he nodded. “Of course.”
I entwined our fingers, leading him from the kitchen. The party had seemingly stopped. The music was muffled. The students were in slow motion. Nothing was on my mind other than my lost month. I had no one to blame but myself.
Liam closed the door when we got to his room. He was silent, letting me take the lead. I got it. I’d blown him off more than once, convinced one moment he was plotting against me, and the next that I didn’t deserve a relationship.
“Do you hate me?” I asked, getting it all out in the open. He took a few steps toward me.
“Quite the opposite,” he said in the breathy voice I loved so much. It was like waking up next to him before it all happened, drenched in his love and kisses.
“I’m damaged goods. I couldn’t even trust the one person who cares for me. The only person who…” I stopped, taking a breath to calm down.
“Finish that. What were you going to say?”
“You loved me. You always have. I should have seen that. I got scared. I was insecure. I pushed you away and you stopped trying.” At this point, tears were streaming down my face.
“There’re so many things wrong with what you just said.” He stepped closer, putting his hands on my face, wiping away each tear that fell. “I only stopped trying because it hurt you, Autumn.”
Sniffling, I looked at him. He was at peace near me, almost smiling. “What else is wrong?”
“You said I loved you. I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll never fucking stop, Autumn.”
“I love you, too, Liam. I think I always have. I just don’t know how.”
“I’ll teach you,” he said. His lips crashed into mine with so much need, it took my breath away.
He tugged my sweater off, gently placing me on the bed. My pants and everything else followed as he kicked everything off him. He looked at me lovingly, keeping his hands gentle, but there was an urgency about him that hadn’t been there before.
His rolled a condom on and his lips were back on mine. “Is this okay?”
“More than okay,” I said, promisingly.
He rocked into me and I squeezed his shoulders, taking him in for the first time in over a month. My breathing matched his, shallow and quick. I’d needed this. I wanted to be hugged fully, a part of him, sweaty. I wanted every piece of him that made us whole.
“I needed this,” he whispered in my ear, rocking into me.
“You have no idea,” I said.
This ugly stain of guilt popped up, but I pushed it away. If nothing else, this moment was worth it. This was all I’d ever needed. Me and him like this. Balling my hand in his sheets, I screamed. Not caring one bit who heard me as the music was cranked to the fullest downstairs.
He began trembling after me. “I love you, Autumn. My God, I love you. I’ll never stop,” he chanted in my ear until he went still. He rolled over, taking me in his arms on his side.
“Don’t leave me again,” he said, and I could hear his voice crack.
“I won’t,” I promised him, and I meant it.
“Unless I deserve it.” He tried to lighten the mood.
“You won’t deserve it, Liam.”
“You heard about me…the drinking, partying, fighting. Acting like a complete ass.”
“And you’ve heard about me. Shitty homelife, trust issues, daddy issues. The whole works,” I said, offering him a half smile. His face tried to crack, but we had been through hell and back. It would take time.
“I love you, and I hope that will be enough for you for the rest of our lives because the last month has been hell for me.”
“It’ll be enough. We will always find each other. We may have issues, Liam, major ones, but we don’t have to have the answers. We just have to know where to find them. From now on let’s talk about them and listen, okay?”
He kissed my forehead tenderly. “I’ll do whatever it takes to feel this way forever.”
I knew what he meant. I had heard dozens of times that the love and infatuation would wear off, but it never did for me. He scared the hell out of me, but it was only because I knew it would wreck me if he was completely out of my life.
I had left my hometown thousands of miles away, only to fall into the arms of the boy who would teach me confidence. Someone tried to knock me down by bringing up my past, but she only secured the fact that my past would never be back. It was out of my life completely. My new life consisted of the best friend I could imagine and the baby-faced, gray- eyed boy lying next to me.
I knew I couldn’t stay in Texas. My life wasn’t there. I didn’t know how to fix myself, but that didn’t matter. I hopped onto the train and got out of there. Because, the truth was, I didn’t know the answers, I just knew how to find them. And Liam was my answer.
Thirty-Five
Josie kept her promise. Her side of the room was cleared when I entered it the next day. Sighing, I looked around, wondering where to start. The small backpack and two boxes I found at the bookstore wouldn’t be enough, but I went to work anyway, tossing most of it into the boxes without a second thought of messing anything up. Things weren’t important; I had learned that over the last year. I left everything, only bringing the clothes on my back and what I could stuff into my backpack.
All that mattered to me were the people in my life. I wouldn’t risk them again. So, I was giving up on dorm life. Gabby was more than happy to finally have someone in her guest room, and I was ready to get over the anxiety of not knowing who I was living with. This also meant no rules. Liam could come and go as he pleased. That alone was enough to get me packing.
After tossing what few clothing items I had into a single box, I moved to my bedding. The twin- sized sheets, comforter, and pillow filled the entire box. Next up was my safe, which I tucked perfectly hidden in my backpack with my school supplies.
Nostalgia was taking over. Josie may have caused me mental anguish the entire time I lived with her, but this room was so much more. I met Liam here. I fought with him here. Made up, loved, rinse and repeat. All the bad memories were canceled out by him. I gave the room a once-over before closing that chapter in my life. I secretly hoped whoever occupied it after me found everything I had; everything I didn’t know I was looking for. I came here to be alone, to be no one, unrecognizable, but I was leaving with everything.
I threw my belongings into the back of my car before leaving campus. Gabby’s apartment, well, our apartment, was only a ten-minute drive from campus. I had to set my cruise control because my lead foot wanted to be there immediately, knowing what awaited me.
The shiny black Mustang was parked outside our building. Sliding into the space beside it, I saw him. He jumped out gracefully, opening my back door without having to be asked.
“Welcome home,” he said. His mouth tilted, and there was that sly, mischievous grin I had grown to love.
“Thank you.” I grinned. Throwing my backpack on I jogged in front of him, holding the door open so he could place my boxes inside.
“Is this everything?” He looked confused.
“I travel light.”
“Tyler took Gabby out. You know what that means, right?” His brow popped up as he looked to my new room.
“Yeah, fewer people to help us unpack.” I grabbed a box and walked to the room I would be spending time in until I figured out my next move.
“Killing me,” he mumbled as he grabbed the rest.
The small room was already decorated. The gray bed was positioned in the middle of the room, with tables on each side of it. A small white dresser was against the wall in front of the bed. I tossed my box down in front of the door to the closet, and Liam followed me.
“Done for now.” I
laughed, sitting on the edge of my new bed. “What about you? How’s the apartment hunt coming along?”
Sitting down beside me, he sighed. “I’d live in a cardboard box if it meant I could get out of that house.”
I laughed. “So, what’s the problem?”
He held my gaze. His eyes went soft around the edges. “I have big plans.”
“Care to elaborate?” I smiled at him. Settling in I crossed my legs, leaning back against the soft fabric headboard.
“As you know I’m graduating this spring, but I’m looking a job around here when I finish. I’ll be around here for at least three more years.” He leaned back, propping up on his elbow beside me. Staring at the ceiling, I grinned.
“That’s oddly specific.”
“It is. And if I’m there long-term, I might as well find a place that other people in my life like.” This time, he looked at me.
“Good idea,” I agreed.
“Do you want to help out?” he asked, throwing me a childish grin. He was embarrassed.
“I’d love to.” I placed a soft kiss on his lips.
“You’re it for me, Autumn Miller. Nothing else will come between of us.”
Draping my arm over him I snuggled close, listening to the sweet nothings he whispered in my ear. The world was ours for the taking, and this time nothing stood in our way. My anxiety was gone. Our secrets were out. My past was safely tucked away, never to be opened again. I took solace in the fact that no matter if we fought, if I had a bad day, anything that was thrown in my direction, I would still be here, every night, wrapped in his arms while he made it okay. We were endgame. And in the end, it took me five months to become the girl I was supposed to be.
Epilogue
Six Months Later
I stood back on the hiking trail, watching Autumn snap pictures of everything in her sight. I had been here countless times but watching her take it all in made it feel like the first time.
“Oh my God, Liam, it’s beautiful here. I’m glad we got out of the city for the week,” she said, grinning at me.
The Autumn Leaf Page 18