Sewer Mayhem

by Annie Appleton

  ‘As long as you do.’ Peggy took a bite out of her sandwich and they watched as a group of young boys kicked a ball around.

  ‘What about those other experiments of yours?’ Peggy said. ‘I’ve heard that McDermott is on to you like a bloodhound.’

  ‘Is he? I haven’t really noticed. He always seems to have it in for me, so there’s not much change there.’ Jacob picked up a cherry tomato and put it in his mouth. ‘I’m just doing my experiments as I’ve always done them, so why would it suddenly be a problem? It’s the inspector that is the problem here.’

  ‘Better be careful,’ Peggy said. ‘McDermott is definitely on the warpath.’

  Jacob watched as Peggy unwrapped a muffin, then grabbed one for himself.

  ‘I was wondering,’ Jacob said. ‘Emily claims you’re really hard on her. Is that true?’

  Peggy smiled. ‘Of course not. But that’s not to say that she doesn’t need some discipline. Did you know she took her rats to work this morning?’

  ‘Umm… well… er…’

  Peggy glared at him. ‘I will take that as a yes.’ She shook her head. ‘That girl has been allowed to run wild for far too long. I blame my sister and brother-in-law. They didn’t implement any rules when the children were small and always gave into their every whim. It never works. And now Emily is discovering that running wild is not that cute and cuddly any more. She’s twenty-three, for crying out loud. A bit of discipline will do her good.’

  ‘Yes, I think you’re right,’ Jacob said. ‘Even so, I wish you luck. At least it looks like Emily is getting a few more friends in Milbury. She’s doesn’t seem so overly focussed on being her own broody self any more.’

  ‘Perhaps, but she still scares the hell out of people.’

  Jacob smiled. ‘That she does.’

  His eyes fell on a well-dressed man walking by on Milbury Road. ‘Oh no, it’s Spencer.’

  Peggy froze. ‘Can we hide?’

  ‘There’s nowhere to go.’ Jacob kept watching Spencer from the corner of his eye. ‘Looks like he didn’t see us. He turned into Alveston Road.’

  ‘Phew, lucky,’ Peggy said. ‘I don’t want to deal with him right now. He’s so focussed on this competition that he doesn’t even realise that there are rumbles within ASBOW.’

  ‘Are there?’

  Peggy nodded. ‘The shop owners at the top of Woolaston Road don’t have a care in the world. But we at the bottom are getting rather sick of the sewer smell. It’s bad for business, especially if you sell food or have a café, like Angie.’

  Jacob realised that the conversation had strayed into dangerous territory. He couldn’t tell Peggy that Dave had told him that there was no money to repair the sewers.

  ‘Do you think there is a thief somewhere eating a whole box of chocolates?’ he said instead.

  ‘Possibly,’ Peggy said. ‘Don’t you think it’s strange that so many shops are broken into and nothing is taken?’

  ‘Not only shops. Dave’s office was broken into as well, and the maintenance van.’ He plucked at the sleeve of his shirt. ‘It looks more like the burglar has lost something and is just randomly looking for it.’

  ‘But what?’

  ‘No idea.’

  Peggy started packing the leftover sandwiches back into the bag.

  ‘You were talking about rumblings within ASBOW,’ Jacob continued. ‘Would you mind if I asked if you ever noticed anything amiss with the accounts before?’

  ‘I don’t think that’s got anything to do with what is happening at the moment.’

  ‘Just humour me.’

  Peggy looked up at the sky. ‘I never noticed anything strange about the accounts. But then again, we all trusted Kenneth as he had been the treasurer for twenty years. I can’t believe that Kenneth would have done anything untoward with the accounts. He’s too nice for that.’

  ‘That doesn’t meant he didn’t do it.’ Jacob watched as Peggy kept packing the bag. Had Nate known about the mysterious money in the shop accounts? And if yes, did Kenneth want to hide it enough to kill his own son?

  Peggy got up and Jacob picked up the blanket and shook it out. As he stuffed it in the tote bag, his hand touched Peggy’s for a second. He looked away, his face all hot.

  ‘It’s time I got back to Posh Nosh,’ Peggy said. ‘See if Emily managed to get through the lunch rush on her own.’

  ‘I’m sure she did.’ He checked his watch. ‘I need to get back to school.’

  They made their way off Milbury Green and crossed the road. On the corner where the entrance to the school began, Peggy stopped.

  ‘Thank you for coming with me.’ She looked up at Jacob and smiled. ‘We should do this again some time.’

  Jacob handed her the bag and nodded. ‘Yes, we should.’ As he turned to walk towards the school, Peggy stood on her toes and pecked a quick kiss on his cheek.

  When Peggy was already halfway down Milbury Road, he still stood rooted to the spot.

  * * *

  Paddy

  ‘Leo… Leo!’ came Victor’s voice from behind the box where he and his brothers were still hiding. ‘Have I ever told you that your mother is a batty hoarder?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Dino countered. ‘Have you ever seen her ridiculous bottle cap collection?’

  ‘And what about that time she went nuts about buttons?’ Sal said.

  Leo sat behind our entrenchments, plucking the fur on his chest, whiskers trembling. ‘Those ignorant two-faced liars,’ he said. ‘None of that is true!’ He jumped up and down in frustration.

  ‘Ignore them,’ Vinnie said, putting a paw on Leo’s arm. ‘They’re just trying to make you mad.’

  Leo glared at Vinnie and pulled his arm free. ‘How can they say that about my mum?’

  ‘Calm down,’ I said. ‘They want you to react.’

  ‘Leo… is she still into shiny things?’ Victor continued.

  ‘Remember when she broke into the Chinese takeaway on Harbour Street and tried to steal a pile of their shiny aluminium takeaway boxes?’ came Sal’s voice.

  ‘And then realised they didn’t fit through the hole she’d gnawed in the back door?’ Dino said. The Three Bambini burst out laughing.

  Leo jumped up and down again, plucking clumps of fur from his chest. I thought he would explode.

  ‘Shut up!’ he yelled.

  ‘Oooo, hit a nerve, did we?’ Victor yelled back.

  Vinnie now put a paw on Leo’s shoulder. ‘They’re winding you up. Don’t react!’

  ‘But it’s my mum they’re talking about!’ Leo hopped from one foot to the other, clenching and unclenching his paws. Then he jumped forward with a shriek, paws outstretched, ready to murder Victor.

  Before he made it past our defences, Gus and Vinnie flung themselves in his way to stop him. They all ended up in a large ball of fur.

  ‘Why are they picking on Leo?’ Daisy said, watching as Vinnie wrestled a livid Leo to the floor.

  I shrugged. ‘They must know he’s a bit of a hothead. After all, they’ve known each other from when they were little’uns and living in Hull.’

  The laughter continued from behind the Mafia box. My heart started beating a bit faster and my whiskers quivered. Mangy fur balls. I was getting angry now as well.

  ‘This standoff has taken long enough,’ I said. ‘Something needs to be done before they manage to make Leo even madder.’

  Daisy nodded. ‘But what?’

  I looked around. My eye fell on Daisy’s catapult and an idea popped into my head.

  ‘What if we built a giant catapult?’ I said. ‘One that could launch one roll of pennies at a time.’ I waved at the pile of rolls behind our boxes. ‘We’ve still got plenty of those.’

  Daisy and I inspected the pile.

  ‘It’s an idea,’ Daisy said, pushing a roll around with her foot.

  ‘They’re too heavy for us to throw them far enough ourselves,’ I said. ‘But a giant catapult might be able to fling them right behind the Bambini’s entrenchm
ent, hitting Victor on his ugly one-eared head.’

  Daisy smiled. ‘Sounds like a plan.’

  ‘If you give me a paw, we’ll have this set up in no time.’

  While Gus and Vinnie kept an eye on Leo, Daisy and I set to work and took five large rubber bands, stringing them together to form one long one. Then we tied the ends to the legs of the kitchen chair that was part of our defences. If my calculations were correct, the penny roll, when released, would gather speed and fly under the seat of the chair, right in the direction of the Three Bambini.

  ‘Isn’t this leg too wobbly?’ Daisy said, studying the leg as it moved about when she pulled at the rubber band.

  ‘Nah.’ I motioned with my paw. ‘It’ll be strong enough. Let’s give it a try.’

  As we loaded a roll of pennies into the giant catapult, Victor’s nagging voice came again from behind the enemy box.

  ‘Leo! Leo! Your mother was stupid enough to marry a runty Englishman! What’s his name again?’

  ‘Mike,’ Sal said. ‘Can you believe it? How can you fall for someone named Mike?’

  Leo bared his teeth and tried to wriggle loose from Gus and Vinnie’s grip. They each had him by an arm, but he started to struggle even more, his eyes bulging. ‘Let me go!’

  ‘Let’s launch the pennies,’ I said to Daisy. ‘Before Victor does any more taunting and drives Leo completely insane.’

  We started tugging at the rubber band, slowly walking backwards to stretch it to its limits.

  ‘It’s not going to work,’ Daisy said panting. ‘It’s too hard.’ The rubber band nearly slipped out of her paws.

  ‘We have to keep going,’ I said, getting out of breath myself. Stretching this rubber band was much harder than I had envisioned. ‘Just a few more inches.’

  Both Daisy and I leaned back, putting all our weight behind pulling back a little bit more.

  ‘I think this is tight enough,’ I said, panting and trying to hold on to the rubber band for dear life. ‘On the count of three!’

  Daisy nodded, her whiskers pulled back in the effort of giving all her strength.

  ‘One… two… thr—’

  The chair leg snapped in half, releasing the tension on the rubber band. The force of it flung Daisy and me backwards. I toppled over a few times, before coming to a halt on my belly. Daisy even made it all the way to the back wall.

  As I flopped over for the last time, I managed to see that the roll of pennies had been launched, but not in the way we had planned. It flew over our heads, tumbling end over end, having turned into a dangerous missile in an instant. Reaching its highest point, it slowly arched, then came back down again.

  ‘Gus, lookout!’ I yelled, but was too late. Without warning, the penny roll hit Gus squarely on the head. He wobbled on his feet, then keeled over on to his back.

  ‘Noooo,’ Daisy yelled, scrambling to get up. Together we ran towards Gus, who was lying on the floor, moaning and holding his head with both his paws.

  ‘What happened?’ he said, staring at the roll of pennies, as if he’d never seen one before.

  ‘Don’t talk, dear,’ Daisy said, patting his paw. A lump appeared on Gus’ head and I grabbed a piece of cardboard to waft some air in his direction.

  Vinnie meanwhile was struggling to keep a hold of Leo by himself.

  Still livid, Leo kicked Vinnie in the side and broke free. With a bloodcurdling yell, he ran past our defences, grabbing a pencil as he went along.

  Using the pencil as a battering ram, he attacked Victor’s box, only to have the sharp point of the pencil dig deep into the cardboard.

  ‘Arrgg.’ Leo hopped up and down in frustration. He tried to pull the pencil out of the box, but it didn’t budge.

  ‘Here’s our chance!’ Victor yelled. ‘Get him!’

  Dino and Sal lumbered around the side of the box. But before they reached Leo, a pencil came flying through the air, its sharp point aimed directly at them. It hit Sal in his stomach and he doubled over. Another pencil flew by, almost stabbing Dino in the leg.

  The two brothers turned around to see where the missiles were coming from.

  Vinnie stood halfway between the two defences, picking up another pencil. He threw it at them like a javelin. ‘Run, Leo!’ he yelled.

  ‘But my pencil is stuck,’ Leo said, pulling some more on the immovable object.

  ‘Leave it!’

  With a wistful look, Leo started running. Vinnie threw one more pencil at the Bambini, then turned around as well.

  Both rats appeared behind our boxes, panting. Gus was now sitting up, gingerly feeling the lump on his head.

  ‘Let’s not do that again,’ Vinnie said, rubbing his side and looking daggers at Leo. ‘You must be mad attacking them on your own.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Leo said, eyes on the floor. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’

  ‘Forget it.’ Vinnie studied the remains of the giant catapult, then noticed the lump on Gus’ head. ‘Another one of your crazy schemes, I suppose,’ he said to me.

  I nodded. ‘It worked, sort of. We did manage to launch a roll of pennies.’ I looked at Gus and felt a pang of guilt. ‘But next time I will try to come up with something a bit safer.’

  ‘Good idea…’ Gus said, wafting himself with the cardboard now. ‘And to make sure, we’ll put you in the firing line.’

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Jacob peered around the corner into the corridor, then realising that this made him look suspicious, pulled back his head and with his hands behind his back walked up and down to the double doors that were the entrance to the school.

  ‘Stop pacing,’ Emily said in a low tone. ‘It makes you look suspicious.’

  Jacob rolled his eyes. ‘What doesn’t?’

  ‘You work here.’ Emily pushed herself away from the wall she had been leaning against. ‘No one will find it strange to see you here.’

  ‘I don’t work down that corridor.’

  ‘So what?’

  A gaggle of students came down the stairs, crossed the hallway and without giving them a second glance, went out the doors into the playground.

  ‘See?’ Emily continued. ‘They didn’t even look at us.’

  ‘They’re teenagers. They only care about themselves.’

  A door opened and voices came from down the corridor.

  ‘Shh…’ Emily stuck her head around the corner.

  ‘It’s the admin people,’ she said. ‘They’re coming out of the office.’

  Jacob watched as his colleagues from Human Resources walked down the corridor and entered the teachers’ lounge.

  ‘Come on, it’s now or never,’ he said and on tiptoes started sneaking down the corridor, his senses on high alert. This had to be what Spike felt like when he stalked a mouse.

  Emily grabbed his arm. ‘Just walk normal. You’ll be attracting attention in a minute.’

  They reached the door to the administration office. After a quick glance up and down the corridor they disappeared inside, closing the door behind them.

  ‘You stay on watch,’ Jacob said. ‘The tea break isn’t going to last forever.’

  Emily nodded and peered out of the little window in the door. Jacob looked about him, then made a beeline for a large filing cabinet in the corner.

  His eyes went from one drawer to another, checking the little labels. Holiday Leave, Sick Leave, Annual Christmas Party, Personnel.

  ‘Got it!’ he said, and tried to open the drawer. It didn’t move. He rattled the little handle, but still the drawer remained closed. ‘Darn it. It’s locked. Now what?’

  ‘Check on top of the cabinet,’ Emily said.

  Jacob stood on his toes and peered across the dusty surface. Feeling a sneeze coming on, he held his breath and stuck his hand behind a large pot with a sansevieria. His fingers reached the cold metal of a key.

  ‘Found it!’ He held up the key in triumph. ‘How did you know it was there?’

  Emily shrugged. ‘This is not the first admin office I
’ve broken into.’

  Jacob stared at Emily for a second, then deciding to let it go, inserted the key to open the drawer. His fingers flicked past the different files, sorted in alphabetical order.

  Immediately his own name jumped out at him. He fingered the file. Wouldn’t it be interesting to have a quick peek? See what sort of info they had collected on him? He let go of the file. No, they were looking for Colleen Frost. He continued to flick through the files.

  ‘Anything?’ Emily said.

  ‘Nothing under the F. That’s strange.’ He flicked through all the files again.

  ‘How is that possible?’ Emily’s voice came from right behind him. Jacob jumped.

  ‘Go back to the door,’ he hissed. ‘We can’t let them see us.’

  Emily shrugged. ‘There’s no one there.’

  Jacob glared at Emily, then continued looking through the files.

  ‘Wait a minute,’ he said. He pulled one out. ‘This is a name I’ve never heard before. Sarah Miller.’

  He flicked through the file and found a picture.

  ‘That’s her!’ Emily said. ‘Colleen. Why does the file say Sarah Miller?’

  Jacob looked at the page with the personal information of the woman they knew as Colleen Frost.

  ‘Says here that her full name is Sarah Colleen Miller-Frost,’ he said. ‘So that explains the two names. But it doesn’t explain why the school administration knows her as Sarah Miller, while to everyone else she introduces herself as Colleen Frost.’

  Emily looked over his shoulder. ‘Born in Malton, lives at 12 Cotton Mill Road in Leeds, but her temporary address is 43A Langston Road, Milbury. Thirty-two years old.’

  ‘Here’s a copy of her passport,’ Jacob said, holding up the piece of paper. ‘So her full name is legit.’

  ‘And what’s this?’ Emily said, fingering another piece of paper.

  Jacob took it from her and squinted at it. ‘That’s a DBS report, also in her name. It states that she has no criminal convictions and that she is allowed to work with children.’

  ‘This is really strange,’ Emily said.

  ‘Well, it looks like it all checks out.’ Jacob closed the file. ‘Except that she uses her middle name and the last part of her double-barrelled name to identify herself to others.’