Back in the Game

by Caz Finlay

  She had been broken-hearted that morning she’d gone to find him at Paul Carter’s flat and seen the two of them kissing. It had taken her days to even look at him again. She’d pretended she had a stomach bug and had avoided him, wondering what to do next. She had taken his phone and his iPad and scoured it for evidence of any other affairs.

  She found nothing.

  She spent days driving herself crazy. How many men had he done this with? Did he use protection? Surely he would never put her health at risk? She wondered about every time she and Jake had made love. Had he been pretending it was someone else? He’d never been incredibly passionate – he was a quickie-with-the-lights-off kind of man – but she’d thought that was just who he was. Now she knew the real reason.

  After a few days of crying and soul-searching, Siobhan put on her big girl pants and decided that Jake and their life together were worth making sacrifices for. She would make sure that she held onto them both for as long as she could. One day, when they were married and had children, perhaps she would tell him that she knew the truth and give him her blessing to pursue a relationship with another man. As long as he was discreet, and as long as he gave her the same freedom. She almost convinced herself that it wasn’t as bad as cheating on her with a woman. She was the only woman Jake Conlon loved – she was sure of that, and for now that was enough.

  ‘You ready, Babe?’ Jake shouted from the sitting room.

  ‘Coming,’ she replied as she picked up her clutch bag.

  ‘You look gorgeous.’ Jake smiled at her as she walked towards him. The look in his eye almost had her believing that he fancied her. Perhaps he did? Perhaps he liked both, she thought. He was always attentive to her when they were together. Maybe he was just one of those men who liked to have his cake and eat it?

  ‘You look pretty good yourself,’ she said, smiling back. He was dressed in a suit, his expensive shirt open at the collar. He was clean-shaven, which was how she liked him best, although he often sported stubble. His bright blue eyes twinkled as she reached him and kissed him on the lips.

  ‘Let’s go then,’ he said to her. ‘The cab’s downstairs.’

  ***

  Siobhan sat at the table looking out over the Liverpool skyline while she waited for Jake to come back from the bar. They’d had a lovely evening, but she sensed Jake was becoming fed up and wanted to get home. He’d suggested they leave after the next drink, but Siobhan wasn’t sure she was ready for the night to end so soon. Maybe she’d propose walking home so they could enjoy a nice stroll through the Albert Dock. She understood why Jake didn’t really like drinking in the town centre. He had a club of his own, and he was always wary of who he might bump into. Almost everyone who recognised him wanted to be his best mate.

  Siobhan could see the men at the table next to her giving her the once over and was close enough to hear one of them making a lewd comment about ‘giving her one’. Just a few months earlier, she would have shot them a withering look and told them to piss off, but tonight it made her feel good about herself. At least someone appreciated the effort she’d made to look good.

  Jake returned with her cocktail and a brandy for himself and sat down. The men at the next table continued to get louder and louder.

  ‘Do you mind, lads, I’m trying to have a quiet drink with my girlfriend,’ Jake snapped at them.

  ‘All right, sorry, mate,’ one of them apologised, while the other two continued laughing.

  ‘If she was my girlfriend, I’d be doing more than having a quiet drink with her,’ one of them slurred.

  ‘What?’ Jake growled at him.

  ‘Sorry, mate. He’s had too much to drink,’ said his friend.

  ‘Please don’t, Jake,’ Siobhan said as she placed her hand on his arm.

  Jake turned in his seat to face her. She hated it when he got into fights and he knew it. ‘Okay, babe. We’ll go after this one, eh?’

  She nodded, relieved that he was letting the idiot’s comment go.

  The three men started arguing amongst themselves then. ‘Don’t fucking tell me to be quiet,’ one of them shouted. ‘He doesn’t own the fucking place, does he? Look at him in his fucking fancy suit, drinking his fancy cocktails. Fucking tosser.’

  Jake stood up so quickly his chair fell over. One of the bouncers came running over to him. ‘Is everything okay, Mr Conlon?’ he asked. ‘Do you want me to throw this lot out?’

  ‘No, don’t worry, John. I’ll handle it. We’re going. Come on.’ He held his hand out to Siobhan.

  Siobhan stood up and took his hand and he marched the pair of them to the lift. He barely spoke to her on the way to the ground floor.

  ‘Take no notice of those idiots, Jake,’ she soothed. ‘They’re a gang of knobheads.’

  Jake smiled at her. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Of course, I’m fine.’

  ‘Good,’ he said as he steered her towards a black taxi. Opening the door for her, he helped her inside before handing her a £20 note. ‘I’ll be home in an hour, babe.’

  ‘Jake? Please come home with me,’ she pleaded.

  ‘I’ll be there soon, I promise,’ he said as he cupped her chin in his hand and gave her a kiss. Then he closed the cab door and walked back into the hotel.

  Siobhan told the driver her address and sat back in the seat with a long sigh.

  ***

  Jake stepped out of the lift and back into the rooftop bar. The three pricks who had been stupid enough to insult him were still sitting at their table. John, the head doorman, nodded to him as he walked past. The cold and the threat of imminent rain had forced most of the customers inside and it didn’t take long for the bouncers to usher the few remaining stragglers into the warmth of the bar.

  Jake walked over to the table and smiled. ‘Remember me, lads?’

  The three of them stared at him as though he had two heads, until the mouthy one who’d called him a tosser a few minutes earlier rose from his seat and squared up to him.

  ‘Do you have a problem, mate?’ he snarled in Jake’s face.

  Jake felt the rage inside him boiling over. He butted him, splitting his nose open and causing him to fall to the floor, howling in pain. Jake was kicking him in the stomach when one of the others jumped on his back. He shook him off easily and threw him to the floor with his mate. Picking up a chair, he used it to hit him repeatedly while the third man backed away and made a run for the door, where he was refused entry by the bouncers. When the second man had stopped moving, Jake returned to the first and grabbed him by his shirt collar. ‘Fucking tosser, am I?’ he spat in his face. ‘You’re lucky I don’t throw you off this fucking roof, you piece of shit,’ he snapped before punching him full in the face.

  Feeling some of the anger ebbing away and satisfied that he had done as much as he could in full view of a crowd of people, he stood up and straightened his clothes.

  ‘You,’ he shouted at the third man, pointing directly at him. ‘If I ever see any of you again, I will shoot the fucking lot of you.’ He made his way back to the lift.

  Outside, he saw Michael Carter’s car waiting for him. John, the head doorman, worked for the Carters’ security firm and must have alerted his boss to the situation in the bar.

  ‘You all right, son?’ Michael asked him as he handed him a towel.

  Jake nodded and wiped the blood from his hands. ‘Thanks, mate.’

  ‘Where am I taking you then?’ Michael asked.

  He thought about going to Paul’s; it was where he wanted to be. But he knew Siobhan would be worried about him. More importantly, Michael might wonder why he was choosing to visit one of the twins at this hour of the night instead of going home to his girlfriend. Jake didn’t think he had the energy to try and come up with a convincing lie.

  ‘Home,’ Jake sighed.

  ‘What happened up there? John said you completely lost it on a couple of dickheads who’d had too much to drink.’

  ‘They were taking the piss, Michael. In front of Siobh
an too. I can’t have that.’

  ‘I get that. There’s a time and place, though, Jake. How many people saw you tonight?’

  Jake shook his head again. ‘I don’t know. But no one will say anything. No one really saw anything. They were all inside.’

  ‘Well, I’ll make sure the CCTV disappears too,’ Michael assured him.

  ‘Thanks,’ Jake said.

  ‘Is there something else going on with you?’ Michael asked him, his voice full of concern.

  ‘No, why?’

  ‘You’ve just been a bit angrier than usual lately, that’s all.’

  ‘Nah. I’m the same angry I always am.’ Jake smiled. ‘I’m good. Honest.’

  ‘Good.’

  ***

  As Jake let himself into their flat, Siobhan ran over to him, checking him for any injuries.

  ‘Jake. Thank God you’re okay,’ she gasped. ‘What did you do?’

  ‘I just gave them a warning, that’s all, babe,’ he said. ‘It’s all good.’

  ‘I was really worried about you,’ she said.

  ‘I know. I’m sorry. But I’m fine. Promise,’ he lied. He was anything but fine. His once perfect world was falling apart around his ears and there wasn’t a fucking thing he could do about it.

  ‘It’s late. Come to bed.’

  He took her hand and followed her to their bedroom, wishing that he was somewhere else entirely and hating himself for it.

  Chapter 56

  Grace sat on the giant wooden rocking chair with Belle in her lap. They were reading Belle’s favourite story, Each Peach Pear Plum. Belle gurgled and Grace smiled at her daughter as she brushed her soft curls from her face. Grace’s stomach contracted as she thought about being away from her. Michael had looked after Belle on his own almost every other afternoon for a few weeks and she’d been fine. In fact, she seemed to love her daddy, and she always gave him her biggest, toothiest smile whenever she saw him.

  Grace had finally agreed to an overnight stay, but now she was regretting it. What would she do without Belle’s beautiful little face, her adorable laugh, her constant gurgles and squeals of delight, for over twenty-four hours? She was contemplating telling Michael she’d changed her mind, but her guilt wouldn’t allow her. She had kept them both apart for long enough. It hadn’t been fair on either of them and now Grace owed it to them both to allow them some time together.

  The sound of the doorbell heralded the end of Grace’s seventh re-reading of the story.

  ‘Here’s Daddy.’

  ‘Dada.’ Belle smiled.

  ***

  Michael strapped Belle into her car seat as Grace hovered behind him, watching intently.

  ‘I do know what I’m doing, Grace.’

  ‘Okay. It’s just they can be a bit tricky,’ she said.

  ‘I’m sure it’s not beyond my capabilities. Is her bag ready?’

  ‘Yes. Everything’s in there. Don’t forget to give her the blue bunny for bed. It’s her favourite.’

  ‘I know,’ he sighed. ‘You told me.’

  ‘Oh,’ was all she could say. She’d spent the occasional night away from Belle before, when she’d stayed with this man who could now barely stand to look at her, but that was only when her daughter was being looked after by Marcus. Marcus, whom had known Belle since the day she was born. Sending her off with Michael for the night felt so unnatural. Especially since the twins had told her about him not wanting more kids.

  ‘Are you sure you’ll be okay with her on your own?’ she asked.

  He finished fastening Belle’s straps and looked at Grace. ‘Are you really fucking asking me that?’

  ‘It’s just she’s never stayed overnight before. And you’re not used to babies. Your kids are grown men.’

  ‘I have nieces,’ he reminded her.

  ‘I know. But babies aren’t exactly your thing, are they?’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ he frowned at her.

  ‘The twins told me about you and Hannah.’

  His frown turned to a scowl.

  ‘That she wanted kids and you didn’t. Is that why you split up?’

  ‘That’s none of your fucking business anymore, is it?’

  ‘No. But don’t you see that me not telling you might have been for the best? Can you at least see where I was coming from?

  ‘No, I fucking can’t,’ he growled. ‘Don’t you dare use that as an excuse for what you did.’

  ‘I’m not. I’m just pointing out that you didn’t even want more kids.’

  He picked up Belle’s bag and the car seat and brushed past her. ‘I didn’t want kids with Hannah,’ he said brusquely. Then he walked out of the door. ‘I’ll have her back tomorrow dinnertime,’ he shouted as he left.

  ***

  Michael smiled as his sons came tumbling through his front door, arguing over who was the victor of the fight they’d just had on the front lawn, just like when they were kids. The boys had moved out two years earlier. They’d lived together for a year, before realising they needed their own space and buying separate flats in the same apartment building on Liverpool’s waterfront. Michael missed them living at home. They’d moved in with him when they were fourteen, by mutual agreement with their mother, Cheryl. Michael hadn’t known who was more relieved at the time, Cheryl or the boys.

  Michael carried a gurgling Belle on his hip as he walked down the hallway. ‘Pack it in, you two,’ he said. ‘Dinner’s ready.’

  ‘All right, Dad,’ they said in unison.

  ‘Hiya, Belle,’ Connor said as he took his sister from his dad’s arms. She squealed at him as he twirled her high up into the air.

  ‘What’s up with you, face-ache?’ Michael asked Paul.

  ‘Nothing,’ Paul said, frowning as he picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and took a large bite.

  Michael watched his son intently. Something was wrong. Paul had always been the quieter twin. He largely kept his thoughts and feelings to himself, but Michael had always been able to tell when he had something on his mind. And today he was sure there was something bothering him. In fact, he’d seemed distracted for a while.

  ‘Seriously, what’s up, son?’ he asked as he took a seat at the kitchen table opposite him.

  ‘Nothing you can help with, Dad.’

  Try me.’

  Paul shook his head. ‘It’s nothing. I’m fine. Honest.’

  ‘Well, you know I’m always here if you need anything. Anything at all.’

  ‘Yeah, I know.’ Paul gave a weak smile. ‘Thanks.’

  Chapter 57

  Michael parked his car on the road outside Grace’s house. Taking Belle out of her car seat he chatted to her as he rounded the large gate post and stepped onto Grace’s driveway. Looking up, he saw her hugging someone. She was smiling as she kissed him on the cheek. Michael quickly appraised him. Mid-thirties. Well-dressed. Good-looking, he supposed, if you were into that pretty-boy look anyway.

  Michael realised he was grinding his teeth as the unknown man walked past him.

  ‘Morning, mate,’ he said with a grin.

  Michael glared at him. It was 8am. This fucker had quite obviously spent the night and, judging by the huge grin on his face, had been laid too. Jesus. It was the first time he’d had Belle overnight and Grace was busy getting her rocks off. Not that it was any of his business anymore. But despite that, it still pissed him off so much he felt like running after Pretty Boy and punching him in the face.

  ‘Belle,’ Grace squealed from the doorstep. Then she ran into the path and took her from Michael’s arms.

  ‘How was she?’ she asked.

  ‘Great. I’ll just get her bags,’ Michael snapped.

  ‘Okay.’ Grace frowned at him.

  ***

  Belle was in her highchair and Grace was making her some porridge when Michael walked into the kitchen.

  ‘She’s had her breakfast.’

  ‘Okay, but she was asking for podge.’

  ‘I’ll be going t
hen,’ he snarled.

  ‘Hang on. Can you at least tell me how she’s been? Did she need any Calpol for her teeth? Did she sleep okay? I know you can’t bear to be in a room with me, Michael, but you can’t completely ignore me.’

  ‘I told you she was great. No, she didn’t need any Calpol, and as for sleep I’ll bet she had a whole lot more than you.’

  Grace frowned at him. ‘What the hell are you on about? How do you know how much sleep I’ve had?’

  ‘Oh, fuck off, Grace,’ he snapped. ‘He walked right fucking past us.’

  She stared at him like he had three heads. ‘Who? James?’

  ‘I don’t know his fucking name.’

  He saw the colour rise from her chest, up her neck and across her cheeks, and realised he was about to feel the legendary wrath of Grace Sumner. ‘Not that it is any of your fucking business,’ she said quietly as she walked towards him, ‘but James is Marcus’s boyfriend. They both stayed last night because they came round for a drink and had a bit too much.’

  Michael felt the tension slip from his shoulders. He should have known. Pretty Boy wasn’t Grace’s type at all. And she would never have a one-night stand, let alone rub it in his face if she did. She was many things, but she didn’t play those sorts of games.

  ‘Sorry, I thought …’ he mumbled.

  ‘I know what you thought,’ she hissed. ‘And like I said, it’s none of your business. So, you don’t want me, but I can’t be with anyone else either. Is that right? I feel like I’m married to Nathan again.’

  Michael walked towards her. He was nothing like Nathan. This woman drove him fucking crazy. In a few strides he was standing right in front of her. She squared up to him, glaring at him, daring him to do something.

  ‘God help me, Grace, I wish I didn’t want you,’ he growled. She blinked at him in surprise and before he could think about the consequences he pulled her to him and kissed her. She felt so good he wondered if he would ever be able to stop.

  Grace made the decision for him when she pulled away. ‘We shouldn’t do this,’ she breathed. ‘Not here.’