Blending In

by RJ Blain

  Men who cared about others did wonderful but terrible things to me.

  “I’ll get you untangled. Hand me Miriah. I’ll put her in the house.”

  No. I liked Chase’s shirt. I scrambled deeper into his clothes and hoped I wouldn’t be removed from my favored spot.

  “She rejects that option. She’s fine where she’s at. The fucker might try to torch the house with her in it, and she can’t get out on her own.”

  “Quite possible.” Convinced my sanctuary would remain mine, I returned to peeking over the collar of Chase’s coat. His father pointed at the roof of a townhouse across the street. “They tossed that from over there.”

  “I don’t see anyone. Damn it.”

  “Probably a toss and run with a bit of magic to help make certain they hit you. You’ve got a lot of trouble on your hands, boy.”

  “Mind taking the cat and dog to the car while I call the cops? Maybe we’ll get lucky on some fingerprints.” Chase eyed the floating Molotov cocktail with a scowl. “Have I ever told you you have one insane magic trick, Dad?”

  “That insane magic trick saved you from reconstructive surgery to your face.”

  Chase muttered curses while his father took the cat to his SUV and then untangled the horgi from around Chase’s legs. After twenty minutes of waiting, the cold seeped through Chase’s coat, and not even his warmth prevented the lethargy from creeping in. I pressed as close as I could.

  Chase’s father hooked Chase’s coat with a finger and peeked at me. “Take her inside, Chase. The poor thing’s turned herself blue. If you don’t want to put her in the house, put her in the SUV. I’m freezing my ass off, and I’m not coldblooded.”

  Chase grunted, went to the SUV, and pulled me out of his coat, setting on the front passenger seat. “I won’t be far,” he promised.

  The heater helped, and when I roused enough to want to move, I explored the vehicle. The puppy slept on the backseat, and the cat pawed at the mesh door of his carrier. I climbed to him, grabbed the zipper, and wiggled it open enough he could reach through it.

  Since I couldn’t keep Chase company, I’d play with the kitty. Could anyone blame me for wanting to play with a pretty gray kitty? Whoever blamed me needed to mind their own business. We took turns lightly batting at each other, and the times he won, he never pawed me hard and his claws always remained sheathed.

  When the police finally arrived, I climbed on top of the carrier to watch through the window.

  Chase’s scowl warned me the conversation wasn’t going like he wanted. While they argued, the cops smothered the frozen flames, which involved a damp cloth wrapped around the wick using a pair of tongs. It took a long time for them to extinguish it without touching the rest of the bottle. Once extinguished and safe to handle, the Molotov cocktail went into a bag to serve as evidence.

  I wondered if the culprit had expected the volatile bottle to survive long enough to become evidence.

  The wait bored me, and when Chase and his father finally returned to the SUV, I scolded them with several hisses.

  Chase twisted in his seat, stretched between the seats, and snagged me off the carrier. “Sorry, Miriah. I should’ve put you in the SUV before you got cold.”

  With admirable powers of observation, he dumped me on his lap and took the time to nudge the cat’s paw back inside the carrier and close the zipper.

  “I’m not sure I want to take you to work. They’re upping their game from single attacks against Miriah to attempted double homicide. That could have killed both of you.”

  “I’m aware, but we need to flush them out and catch them in the act. There’s not much else we can do. The faster Miriah finds out the source of the thefts, the faster we’re clear of this mess.”

  Great. I couldn’t tell if the pressure from trying to meet Chase’s expectations or the culprit would kill me first.

  Chase’s father sighed. “You’re a pain in my ass. What happened to her shopping trip with Tiana on Sunday? If you haven’t figured this out yet, I’ll do you a favor. Do not interfere with a mother shopping for her child on Christmas. It may very well be the last thing you do.”

  “I’ll be going with her. Let’s make a day of it. Bring Mom and tag along. She probably has some shopping she needs to do, and if Mom can’t handle any unforeseen circumstances, no one can.”

  Stunned silence answered Chase’s suggestion. I lifted my head and stared at Chase’s father. What was so abnormal—or terrifying—about Chase’s mother that his father would look like he faced the devil himself?

  “You want to bring your mother to the mall on Sunday.”

  “That’s what I said, yes.”

  “I know you don’t like going to the mall, but bringing your mother is excessive. She might flatten the whole place if she has to handle any problems. Have you ever met your mother, boy? She might literally flatten the entire mall. The entire building. Gone.” Chase snapped his fingers. “Just like that. Boom.”

  Chase rolled his eyes. “Would you please stop exaggerating? You’re going to freak Miriah out. Anyway, Mom wouldn’t flatten the entire mall. She’d only relocate the parts that annoyed her, got in her way, or otherwise posed a threat to a place of her choosing.”

  “Son, I don’t want to pay a hundred thousand dollar fine again for any incidents. That’s her base fine. You hear me? The base fine is a hundred thousand dollars. You know how much I’ll have to pay if she relocates the mall?”

  “Nothing unless she doesn’t put it back where she found it. It’s only when she destroys something she has to pay more fines.”

  “You’re willfully forgetting the per-person fine tacked on to the hundred thousand.”

  “You can afford it.”

  “If I keep having to pay her fines, I won’t be able to! She’ll bankrupt me.”

  “No sympathy from me. You married her.”

  Chase’s father sighed. “Please, Chase. Don’t invite your mother.”

  “I’m inviting my mother. If you aren’t enough to safeguard Miriah’s Christmas shopping, I’ll use the big guns. In this case, the big guns is my mother. Deal with it.”

  “You’re being a little overbearing.”

  A little? While I’d heard of teleportation magic, those who possessed it were few and far between, and I’d never heard of anyone capable of relocating entire buildings before. I wondered how far Chase would go to protect my Christmas shopping adventure.

  As long as I could find the right puppy, the rest of the shopping I could do online. Did I want to remind him of that? I’d have to put a lot of thought into it. On one hand, online delivery would be safer. On the other hand, I wanted to meet Chase’s mother and see if she was half as crazy as his father. How had two insane people produced someone like Chase?

  What was his magic trick if he came from two overpowered humans?

  Chase glared at his father, and after a few muttered curses, he sighed. “And? It’s obviously needed. Maybe I wouldn’t need to be overbearing if people stopped trying to kill her.”

  “There’s no need to get hysterical. She’s fine. She was playing with the cat while she waited. If she can handle this without having a fit of hysterics, so can you.”

  “Dad, I’m not having a fit of hysterics. Someone tried to kill her.”

  “Boy, I helped raise you from the day you were born. You’re five minutes from a meltdown and a round in timeout. Settle down. She’s fine. Nobody was hurt, and now that we know they’re serious, we can take steps to protect her. You’ve already cut off their main funding source, so it’s possible that bottle bomb was meant for you and not her. If you expose or accuse the involved companies for siphoning funds, they’ll be in some severe financial trouble. And you will expose them. You’re a stickler for fair play and you have a reputation for honesty. Some days, I swear your mom banged an angel on the side.”

  “Dad, Mom didn’t bang an angel or the angel’s incubus sidekick.”

  “Much to her disappointment, I’m sure,” Chas
e’s father muttered.

  “Complain about me inviting Mom to the mall with us on Sunday, and I’ll tell her you think she’s disappointed she didn’t bang an angel and an incubus.”

  “You’re supposed to be embarrassed, not using my commentary as blackmail.”

  “Why do you think the Molotov cocktail was aimed at me?”

  “I think it was specifically aimed at your head. A person on the roof would’ve had no idea Miriah was in your coat. Most would have assumed she was in the carrier. No, I think it was aimed at you, and I think whoever lobbed it used a practitioner trick to make sure they didn’t miss. You’re fortunate my magic is stronger than practitioner trickery.”

  “I could’ve handled it.”

  “Only my son would believe he can handle a Molotov cocktail to the face. Where did I go wrong with you?”

  “Why are you being a jackass today?”

  “Someone tried to fry my boy with a Molotov cocktail. You tell me.”

  As I wasn’t about to come between Chase and his father, I listened to them argue and feigned disinterest while wondering how my parents would’ve reacted if I’d been the one almost hit in the face with a flaming bottle.

  They’d likely be disappointed the attacker had missed.

  Chapter Twelve

  In the reception of Chase’s office, a woman with the face of an angel and the mouth of a devil dressed down an older man in a suit. The suit warned me the old man had been around the block in the business world, but he flinched at every profanity pouring out of the woman’s mouth. She seemed young, but I refused to trust my eyes when she faced off against an experienced businessman without a single fuck to give about his pride. I expected she’d been around a lot longer than her cherubic appearance implied.

  I added her to my short list of women to automatically respect, since a woman who’d lost her last fuck was to be approached with caution.

  “You were given clear instructions,” she snapped, and that she’d delivered the line without a single curse rang alarm bells in my head. She likely wound up to deliver an even worse blow—or gave her vocabulary a rest to find more effective curses. Either way, I foresaw trouble. “Explain exactly why you opted to ignore them?”

  “Please,” her opponent begged. “It’s not my fault.”

  I hoped the poor man survived giving her the absolute worst answer a man could give a woman on the warpath.

  Her eyes narrowed, she sucked in a breath, and barked, “Like fucking hell it’s not! You’re in charge of the entire marketing department. You better damned well start figuring out that every fucking thing that goes wrong in marketing is your fucking fault!”

  Chase retrieved me from my safe haven in his shirt and placed me on his shoulder. “There are other words. You don’t need to sprinkle fuck in all the time. Add some variety.”

  I hoped Chase survived his blunder, and I hoped I stayed out of the crossfire. I clutched his jacket, and pondered climbing to a safer location.

  The woman sniffed. “I don’t want to accidentally summon the devil. If I summon him, it’ll be on fucking purpose, and I’ll use the phone to call him like a civilized being. Mind your own fucking business.”

  Without a care in the world, Chase snorted. “It’s my company. I am minding my business, thank you.”

  Brave, foolish Chase. I searched for an easy path of escape but determined I’d have to stay with him and watch the fireworks. How many times would I witness Chase in a life-threatening situation in a single day? I’d reached my quota at two.

  “You weren’t supposed to remember it’s your company now. Why aren’t you in your office where you belong? If you were in your office where you belonged, you wouldn’t be witnessing this right now.”

  Considering her volume, Chase would’ve probably witnessed the opening volley instead of arriving partway through, and I was grateful I couldn’t open my mouth and speak my mind.

  As though sensing I considered making a run for it, Chase lifted his hand and stroked my back. I’d have to thank Gavin for that part of the curse later. When else would I get so much affection without having to ask for it?

  Chase’s father cleared his throat. “Someone threw a Molotov cocktail at his face this morning.” When Chase scowled at his father, the older man swiped me off his son’s shoulder and set me on the woman’s head. I grasped her hair so I wouldn’t fall, eyeing the floor and the quickest route of escape. “This is Miriah. He gets hysterical whenever she’s threatened, so don’t threaten her. Her favorite food is fried chicken, and she will bite you if you tease her with her favorite food. Chase has been warned he’ll be put in timeout if he can’t cool his heels. The cat and dog are fosters because the shelter’s full due to a busted puppy mill operation. He couldn’t stand seeing them crammed into cages, so he took home two.”

  The woman reached up and patted me, keeping her touches gentle. “She’s a lizard. Chase, darling, have you lost your fucking mind? Are you a moron? You’re supposed to date a human—or at least a sentient. Honestly, I won’t be picky. If you want a non-human sentient, I’m okay with that.”

  I snapped my teeth at her hand, and when I missed, I went for the bitch’s ear and latched on as hard as I could. She howled and smacked at me with her hands. “Get it off! Get it off!”

  “Hit her, and I make no promises Chase won’t be earning a fine using his magic,” his father warned in a tone so cold I worried the temperature would drop in the room.

  The woman spewed more curses, but she didn’t hit me. “Just get the fucking thing off!”

  Chase sighed, shook his head, set the cat carrier down and grabbed me around my middle. “Let her go, Miriah.”

  I bit harder.

  “Miriah, my mother’s very sorry she was uncouth and insulted you. I’ll make sure she pays penance later. Please let go.”

  I obeyed, but I hissed profanities at the woman, and I didn’t care if she was his mother. Also, if I looked that young after having a son like Chase, I’d count myself blessed.

  Raising a man like Chase must have taken a great deal of work, but one critical fact remained: I’d bite her again. To make it clear I’d bite her again, I showed off my teeth and hissed some more.

  “Mom, what are you doing here?”

  “Apparently, I’m getting my ear pieced by a lizard and asking you about why you tried to have reconstructive surgery with a Molotov cocktail.”

  Chase rolled his eyes. “Craig, retreat while you can. We’ll be discussing the stolen funds situation as soon as I’m finished here. If you would compile a list of all marketing team members with authorizations to draw from the extra expense account, I’d appreciate it. If you have the information available, a list of everyone who can draw from that account would be useful. Thank you.”

  The older man fled without looking back. I hissed at him, too.

  “Are you finished terrorizing everyone, Mom?”

  “I’ll think about it. What’s this nonsense about the reconstruction of that pretty face with a Molotov cocktail?”

  On that, his mother and I were agreed: Chase’s pretty face had no business being reconstructed with a Molotov cocktail.

  Chase shrugged, settled me on his shoulder, and stroked my back. I considered the gesture an act of defiance, and I participated through strategic nuzzling of his hand to indicate I enjoyed his attention.

  Which I did, shamelessly.

  Chase gave his mother a few minutes to stew before he shrugged. “Someone took offense to my pretty face. Dad thinks someone is pissed off I cut off their easy way to suck money out of my company.”

  “What a cretin. Faces should be off limits, especially faces as pretty as yours.”

  Again, I agreed with her, but that didn’t stop me from hissing at her when her attention fell on me again.

  “Also, your lizard bit me.”

  “My ‘lizard’ is a rather nice woman who has been attacked several times while helping me identify who is behind this mess. Denise tried to kill her i
n my office. Someone else, the culprit still unknown, tried to hurt her in the spare office a few doors down, too. Using a glass of ice and water.”

  “It doesn’t take much to kill a little lizard like that. Bad aim?”

  Chase grunted, and when he made a quiet growling sound in his throat, I patted his cheek to soothe him. “They had bad intel with a little help from a divine curse. The curse makes her pretty durable while a karma chameleon. Her allergy to almonds isn’t that severe, which helped a lot,” he admitted.

  “Caught the woman in the act?” his mother asked.

  “Miriah witnessed it while she was hiding in my office when Denise paid her a visit. Dad put her in timeout afterwards until the police arrived. What bothers me is she went right into my office to do it.”

  “Well, that wasn’t very smart of her. So, your lizard is a sentient, then?”

  “She’s the one who has been analyzing the company reports to find the culprit of the fund discrepancies. As such, yes, Mother, she’s a sentient. She’s also a single mother of a son. He’s twelve, and a pretty nice kid.”

  Damn straight my little boy was a pretty nice kid, and to make it clear she wasn’t going to be saying anything bad about my boy or my single mom status, I hissed at her and changed to my brightest, angriest red.

  “She’s not your girlfriend?”

  “Mother!”

  Chase’s response I expected, but the interest in his mother’s tone earned another hiss, in part due to my inability to claim status as his girlfriend. In the grand scheme of things, I’d do a lot more than earn my way to the top of Santa’s naughty list for a chance to claim someone like Chase as my partner in life. At the rate we were going, a partner in crime might be the stronger possibility, since I had the growing need to bite other people for messing up my life, too.

  Chase’s father cleared his throat again to draw attention to himself. “Let him get his menagerie settled into his office. The puppy has had a rough time of it lately, and Chase’ll get pissy if we stress her more than necessary.”

  The puppy in question sat quietly at Chase’s feet, wagging her tail with no sign the conversation bothered her at all.