The Butcher's Husband and Other Stories

by Amy Cross

  I wait.

  No reply.

  “I heard people talking after the funeral,” I continue. “I kept hearing my name being mentioned. It was Laney this and Laney that. Apparently I'm precocious. I had to look that up.”

  Again, I wait.

  I know Mum can't speak to me while the seagull's frozen, but it feels good to (maybe) be talking to her. At the same time, I keep looking around, and I'm worried that maybe eventually someone will come and look for me. Then I'd get into trouble with Dad, and I don't want that. So even though I really want to carry on talking to Mum like this, it might be better if I'm a little more careful.

  “Do you mind if I go and come back?” I ask suddenly, getting to my feet. “I won't be long. I just don't want to make anyone suspicious. You can understand that, can't you?”

  I wait, giving her a chance to reply, and then I get to my feet and take a step back.

  “I'll be back before you know it,” I add, as I turn and start walking away. “I might be able to find something that will -”

  “Laney.”

  I stop immediately.

  I didn't hear that.

  I can't have heard that, and yet...

  It sounded like my name. Raspy and guttural, barely even a sound at all, yet I can't fool myself into thinking that somehow I was wrong.

  Something just said my name.

  I turn and look at the seagull.

  Nothing seems to have changed.

  I glance around, watching the forest for a moment in case someone's out there hiding and trying to trick me, and then I cautiously turn and start walking away again.

  “Laney.”

  I stop again.

  The hairs are standing up on the back of my neck as I slowly turn and look over my shoulder.

  The seagull hasn't moved at all, and I'm sure it hasn't thawed enough for it to be able to speak. Again, I glance around to check that David isn't hiding somewhere and having fun at my expense, but I can see that I'm completely alone out here. Completely alone, that is, except for...

  I look at the seagull again.

  “Laney.”

  Gasping, I take a step back.

  I wait, but now there's only silence. After a few seconds, however, I take a deep breath and tell myself that I have to get to the truth, that I have to find out whether that voice really came from the seagull. So, despite being scared, I start making my way carefully back toward the center of the clearing, and then I crouch down and stare once more into the seagull's frozen face.

  “M... Mum?” I say finally.

  A moment later, from deep within the seagull, there comes a faint, rasping reply.

  “Laney...”

  V

  “Mum?” I whisper cautiously, still not quite allowing myself to believe that this is really happening. “Is... Is that you? Is this your way of sending me a message?”

  I wait, but there's no immediate reply. Squinting, I'm just about able to make out a gap in the back of the seagull's frozen mouth, a kind of air-hole. I suppose that must be where the voice was coming from, assuming that it was really coming out at all.

  “Mum,” I say after a few more seconds, “can you hear me? Are you really there?”

  “Laney,” the seagull replies. “I'm so glad you found me.”

  I'm trembling all over. The voice doesn't sound like Mum, but then I tell myself that I shouldn't really expect it to sound like her. After all, her usual voice always came from inside her body, whereas this one is coming from inside a frozen seagull. That's probably more than enough to make a significant difference.

  “It's so good to see you again,” she says.

  “You can see me?” I ask, peering at one of her beady, frozen eyes.

  “You look so pretty,” she replies, and it's clear that she's struggling to speak at all. “You have no idea how much I've missed you. Come closer so I can get a better look at you.”

  I lean toward her, and then I flinch and pull back as her beak twitches slightly. It's as if she's trying to move, but I suppose that's not so easy when you're frozen.

  “I knew you'd come back,” I say after a moment. “Everyone said I was crazy, even Dad said I was taking you too literally, but I knew you'd come. Or at least, that you'd give me a sign. I thought maybe you wouldn't be able to come back properly, but I kept hoping. I just never...”

  My voice trails off for a moment.

  “I mean,” I continue, “I never expected you to come back as something like this.”

  “How could I let anything keep us apart?” she replies. “I had to come back for you, Laney.”

  “Was it hard?” I ask.

  “You have no idea.”

  “Where... Where did you go after you died?”

  I wait, but she doesn't reply.

  “Mum?” I continue after a moment. “After you died, where did you go? Did you go to Heaven?”

  At first she says nothing, and then I hear a slow hissing sound. For a moment I wonder whether she's in pain, and then I realize that it almost sounds as if she''s laughing.

  “Yes, Laney,” she says finally, “of course, that's where I went. I went to Heaven.”

  “Did it hurt?”

  “Did what hurt?”

  “Dying.”

  “Of course not. Not even a little bit.”

  “I was worried it might hurt you,” I tell her.

  “That's very sweet of you, darling, but you needn't have been concerned.” She pauses. “Now that I'm back, I just wish I could hold you again. I wish I could put my arms around you.”

  “Don't you mean, put your wings around me?”

  “Of course. But the point is, I can't do any of that at the moment, not while I'm frozen like this. I'm starting to thaw very slowly, but I really don't want to wait that long. Do you think there's any way you could hurry it up?”

  “I don't know,” I say cautiously. “I was trying to think of something earlier, but I didn't manage to come up with any ideas.”

  “I know!” she says suddenly. “Why don't you start a fire?”

  “A fire?”

  “Next to me. Then I'll surely thaw in no time at all!”

  “I don't know if...”

  My voice trails off again as I try to work out whether or not a fire would be a good idea. I glance up at the sky and see the sun high above, and I think back to how Dad and some other people were talking about the weather. They kept saying that we need more rain this summer, and that the forest is very dry. From the way they were talking, it definitely sounded as if a fire could spread fast.

  “I'm so cold,” Mum says.

  I turn to her, and I feel a pang of sadness in my chest.

  “It's so cold in here,” she continues. “I came all this way back, Laney, and I did it just to see you. I love you so much, I was even willing to be frozen. I hoped that you'd understand, that you'd help me to get warm. Can't you do that, my darling? Please... for me?”

  “Of course!”

  I take a step back, suddenly filled with guilt and shame for not trying to start a fire sooner. My mind is racing, but I quickly realize that Dad has lots of tools in his shed that I should be able to use. He even has some cans of petrol, and just a few drops should be enough to get a proper fire burning. And so long as I make sure that the fire doesn't spread, everything should be okay.

  “Wait right here!” I gasp, before turning and running back toward the house.

  As soon as I reach the shed, I go inside and start gathering the things that I'll need. I quickly find a half-empty can of petrol, and some rags, and I'm even lucky enough to spot a lighter on one of the shelves. Once I've got everything in my arms, I peer out the window to check that nobody's watching and then I head back out into the forest.

  “I'm back!” I shout as I reach the clearing, and I immediately drop to my knees and start setting the rags close to Mum's seagull body. “I'm sorry it took so long!”

  “I'm so cold, Laney,” Mum replies. “Brrrrr! Hurry!”

/>   My hands are trembling with panic as I put the rags in position, and then I pour some of the petrol onto the forest floor.

  “More!” Mum hisses. “Don't be stingy!”

  “I have to be careful,” I tell her. “I don't want the fire to go out of control.”

  “It won't, I promise,” she replies. “Just hurry!”

  I pour out some more petrol, more than I should, and then I set the can aside and grab the lighter. My hands are still shaking, but I manage to start a flame and then I reach down and carefully set light to the rags.

  Immediately, flames rush up toward my face. I fall back and land hard on my bum, and I stare with wide open eyes as the rags start to burn.

  “That's good!” Mum gasps. “You've done it perfectly! Soon I'll be free again!”

  “Free again?” I reply. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I should never have been trapped like this in the first place!” Her head shakes slightly, and then there's a slow creaking sound as she manages to turn and look straight at me. “Thank you, little girl,” she continues. “You've been so very helpful!”

  VI

  “Mum?” I stammer, as I pull back a little further. “What do you -”

  Suddenly she lets out a terrible squawk and lunges at me, her wings flapping wildly as she slams into my chest and knocks me down to the ground.

  “Stop!” I shout, trying in vain to push her away. “Mum, what are you doing?”

  “You don't need to call me that anymore!” she shouts. “Come on, you seem fairly smart for a human, even a young one. Perhaps a little more light will help you see the truth?”

  With that, she flaps her wings wildly. Slivers of ice fall away and, in the process, one of the wings knocks the petrol can and tips it over, sending even more petrol onto the flames. The fire roars and starts spreading, and I can feel its heat against my face as I look up in horror at the seagull's head.

  “I hated every minute of my imprisonment in that wretched box!” she snarls. “To think that I could have been captured like that by a naked, gibbering madman! I ought to hunt him down and rip him to shreds for the indignity!”

  “What -”

  Before I can finish, she suddenly lunges at my face, pecking at me hard with her razor-sharp beak.

  “Mum!” I yell. “Stop!”

  “I'm not your mother, you wretched little thing!” she sneers. “You must have been very desperate to even consider believing such a ridiculous story. Then again, that's how things always go with members of mankind, isn't it? You're always more ready to believe what you want to be true, rather than what is true. And the best part is, you'll never change!”

  She pecks at me again, and I start screaming as I feel the tip of her beak slicing into my arms and hands. I somehow manage to keep my face covered, but blood is already running down from my wrists and I can feel great bursts of pain running all through my body. At the same time, the heat is building and getting stronger, and the seagull's claws are starting to dig deep into my chest.

  “Laney!”

  Suddenly I hear footsteps racing toward me, and I turn just in time to see David slamming into the seagull and sending it crashing to the ground. Mum squawks and screams, but David wraps his hands around her throat and holds her tight as she struggles. And then, just as I'm about to call out and warn him that Mum's inside that thing, David lets out an angry cry and twists the seagull's neck so hard that its head immediately comes away in his hands.

  The wings flap furiously for a moment, and then the seagull's body drops to the ground and David is left holding only the head.

  “No!” I yell, scrambling onto all fours and crawling over to try to save her. “Mum! Wait!”

  “What are you talking about?” David asks, as he tosses the head aside. “Laney, you're covered in blood! What happened out here?”

  “That was Mum!” I sob, as I grab the head and lift it up, hoping against hope that she might somehow still be in there. “It was...”

  I pause for a moment as I realize that I'm wrong. I was so desperate to get some kind of message, I didn't stop to wonder whether this whole situation was too good to be true. If Mum had really come back to me in the form of a dead, frozen seagull, she'd never have told me to start a fire in a dry forest. And she'd certainly never have attacked me. Looking down at my arms, I see thick cuts running from my wrists to my elbows, leaving ribbons of skin hanging loose.

  “It wasn't her,” I whisper, as I feel tears welling in my eyes. “It was never her!”

  “What are you two doing?” Dad shouts, and I turn to see him racing out toward us. “Get out of here!”

  “I found her!” David says as he hauls me up to my feet. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but she was being attacked by a seagull. I think it was the one from the freezer.”

  “The one from where?” Dad asks, before turning to me and looking at me arms. “Laney, what happened?”

  “I'm sorry!” I whimper, with tears streaming down my face. “I thought it was Mum! I thought I was helping her! She wanted to be warm!”

  “She wanted to...”

  His voice trails off as he looks past me, and I watch the horrified expression on his face as light from the flames dances all across his features.

  Turning, I see that the fire has already spread across the clearing.

  “There's been no rain for weeks,” Dad says, sounding terrified. “The whole forest could go up in flames!”

  “I'm sorry!” I scream. “I thought it was what she wanted!”

  Suddenly Dad grabs me and hauls me up into his arms, and then he takes a step back as we watch the fire starting to fill the forest.

  “I didn't do anything!” David shouts. “It was all her!”

  “We're getting out of here,” Dad replies, turning and carrying me back toward the house, as David hurries along besides us. “There'll be firefighters, it'll be okay. They'll send people to put the fire out and then everything will go back to normal. We just have to get to safety and then we'll be fine.”

  “It was Mum!” I sob, turning and looking back toward the growing inferno. “I was so sure!”

  “What's happening?” someone shouts, and I turn to see that the funeral guests are all coming out of the house.

  “Forest fire!” Dad replies. “We all have to get out of here right now! Everyone, get into your cars and drive east! Don't stop for anything!”

  “It was all Laney!” David hisses. “I tried to stop her, Dad, I swear! It was all her! She started the fire on purpose!”

  “There'll be time to talk about that later,” Dad says, opening the door to our car and putting me inside. “Right now, we have to get out of here. The wind's going to send the fire this way, we can't stay in the house.”

  “But -”

  “Get in!” he shouts at David, before slamming the door shut and running around to the other side.

  “I thought it was her!” I whimper, putting my hands against the window and watching as the fire gets stronger and stronger. Tears are running down my face, and deep down I know that I've done something really stupid. I'm going to be in more trouble than ever before. “I thought it was Mum!” I sob. “She said she was Mum!”

  VII

  “Firefighters continue their efforts to contain the flames tonight,” the newsreader says, as we sit watching in the motel room, “but officials now concede that parts of Maritoa and Larissa counties are in danger. The death toll has been revised upward to eight confirmed, with another seven people still missing. Meanwhile, there's still no fresh information about the cause of the fire, one of the largest in the history of the state, although officials are said to be considering the possibility that campers might be to blame. Sheriff -”

  Dad switches the TV off before the voice can say anything else.

  “I'm really sorry,” I whimper, still sitting on the wooden chair next to the door that leads into the bathroom, with tears still running down my face. “Dad, I -”

  “It's okay
, Laney.”

  “I didn't know!”

  “Laney, it's fine.”

  “I thought it was -”

  “Laney!” he snaps, turning to me with anger in his eyes. “Just shut the -”

  He catches himself just in time, and after a fraction of a second the anger softens on his face.

  “I'm sorry,” he continues, sounding exhausted now, “just... You don't need to keep apologizing. Remember what we said in the car. We can't let anyone know that you're the one who started the fire.”

  “But isn't that lying?” I ask. “I thought lying was bad.”

  “It's about keeping us out of trouble,” he replies. “I don't want any of us to ever talk about what happened again. Do you understand? It's done. It's in the past.”

  “I really thought it was Mum,” I tell him.

  He sighs.

  “But I did!” I continue, as fresh tears roll down my face. “Whatever it was, it tricked me!” I pause for a moment. “What was it? If it wasn't Mum, what was it really?”

  Dad stares at me with an expression of disbelief, and then he slowly starts shaking his head.

  “It really happened, you know,” I add. “I'm not making it up. It talked to me, and it asked to be heated up. It was so cold and it didn't want to stay frozen. I thought it was Mum and I wanted to help her, I wanted to make her feel better!”

  “Laney -”

  “It tricked me, Dad!”

  He comes over to me.

  “Laney, please...”

  “How was I supposed to know that it wasn't Mum? She promised she'd come back and give me a message, and I waited and then the seagull turned up in the freezer and it seemed like a sign and -”

  “Laney.”

  “And it all seemed to make sense and -”

  Suddenly he slaps me, hard, on the side of my face. Startled, I start to turn away, and then I freeze as the stinging pain spreads across my cheek. For a moment, the shock is too great, and I can't even think properly.