Lovely Monster

by Shaylee Europe

  “Only one guest,” the nurse replied.

  I sat down Julie and gave a careful smile to her. “I'll be out here waiting,” I told her.

  Julie nodded, and she leaned up to kiss me. Then she and her mom disappeared behind the automatic doors, and I resumed to sitting in a chair and watching it.

  ♥

  I waited for nearly an hour. I texted Liam to tell him that I hadn't heard anything yet, just so he wouldn't think I had forgotten about them. Then I texted Ava, and told her I might be late. She texted that she would get one of the girls to drive her home.

  Each time the doors opened, I jumped up, but it wasn't them. Just a nurse, or a patient. And each time, I sat back down and placed my hands over my eyes and growled.

  When they finally did come from the back, Julie looked better. She had color again, and despite her frown, she didn't look like she would pass out.

  I jumped from my seat. I came to them, and heard Julie laugh at something her mom said. They stopped walking as we met each other, and Julie's mom gave me an apologetic smile.

  “Sorry we took so long. You don't mind taking Julie home, do you?” she asked me.

  I shook my head. “I don't mind. What did they say?” I asked, knowing my words were coming out quickly, but I was just so nervous. Seeing Julie fall wasn't something I planned to take too lightly.

  Julie looked to her mom, and then she met my eyes with a soft smile. “They drew blood, but I think they're leaning toward exhaustion,” she told me.

  Julie's mom frowned at Julie. There was a moment when she looked tempted to add something else, but she didn't. She chose to smile softly at me. “I've got to get back to work. I'll tell Liam so you can get her home,” she told me. “Bye, Falon.”

  “Bye, Mrs. Michaels,” I told her, and only took a second to watch her leave before turning to Julie again. “Exhaustion? That causes you to pass out,” I asked.

  She nodded and started walking. “Of course, silly. I told them I was an insomniac, plus the exams, and everything else, they told me just to take it easy,” she told me.

  I stopped walking. “Is there something you're not telling me?” I asked her. She stopped walking too, and turned around.

  Julie shook her head and came to me, leaning up to kiss me softly. “I'm fine. Just tired,” she whispered.

  “You know, you kissing me doesn't make me blind,” I told her.

  “I thought love was blind?” she asked, smiling as she kissed me again. She reached for my hand, and started walking again.

  “Not stupid though. You're not telling me something,” I told her.

  She stopped again, once we were outside. She sighed, and turned around, meeting my eyes. “There's nothing to worry about, Falon. I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor, and if there's anything else going on, you'll be the first person I tell, okay?” she asked.

  “But you will go to the doctor?” I asked her.

  She rolled her eyes and nodded. “Yes, I will go to the doctor. Happy?” she asked.

  I smiled and shrugged. “Satisfied. I'll be happy when I believe you,” I told her.

  Julie reached up to kiss me again, and then we walked to the car, and got inside. I drove her to her house, and parked at the curb. She unbuckled her seat belt and looked to me.

  “You're not coming in?” she asked.

  I raised a brow. “Your mom said rest. We both know you won't do that if I stay,” I told her. We both knew that was true, but Julie looked adamant about it.

  “Please? I promise I'll go to sleep. I just want you to stay until I do,” she begged, pouting out her bottom lip.

  I rolled my eyes and turned the car off, falling for her pout everytime. I couldn't help myself. She was too adorable for me to say no, and honestly, I usually was just waiting for a reason to agree with her.

  “You're a cheater,” I told her, and stepped out of the car as she was laughing. She got out on her own, but I went to her side anyway. I held to her waist, for two reasons.

  One, I wanted to make sure she didn't get dizzy and fall.

  Two, who would pass up the opportunity to hold on to someone they loved? An idiot, and I was trying my best not to be one again.

  We walked into the house, and I knew no one would be there yet. That was another good reason for me to stay. Her dad would be home in about half an hour. Leaving her alone was always a bad idea.

  Julie moved my hand from around her waist to her hand, and she started upstairs with me.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “My room,” she said softly. “I'm not going to sleep on the couch.”

  My mouth felt dry. Going into a girl's room usually meant one thing, and that idea sent chills both amazing and terrifying up my spine.

  We walked up the stairs, and then Julie lead me toward a door down the hall. I had never been upstairs, so I didn't know where anything was. I just looked at the passing photos until Julie opened a door and released my hand.

  “I'm going to change. Make yourself comfortable,” she said, smiling as she opened a door inside her room and disappeared inside. It wasn't too difficult to figure out that she had her own bathroom.

  I closed the door behind me, and then opened it again, just a crack. I wasn't sure if closing meant I was trying to send her signals, or even if not closing it was.

  Things could go either way.

  I chose to keep it cracked, and walked farther into her room. I stared at the light purple walls, with her Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn posters combating the Nirvana and Ray Lamontagne posters. She had a bookcase that stood from the floor to ceiling with the most random of titles. Most were paperbacks, with rippled spines from being flipped back due to reading. The few hardbacks were without jackets.

  I walked to her nightstand and smiled as I picked up the frame with her and Liam and their parents. They were standing in front of a waterfall, with rain jackets on. Liam and Julie held their arms out to the sides with large, goofy smiles on their faces, while their parents looked moderately amused, trying to keep straight faces as they smiled at the camera.

  Ava and I didn't have pictures like this. I shied away when it came to a camera, and it wasn't that we really did anything special. We didn't go places, because I always risked ridicule.

  Things were changing though. Maybe one day, I could take a goofy picture with Ava in front of a waterfall, and maybe one day, I would let Ava hang it on our wall.

  “That was Niagara Falls,” Julie said behind me, scaring me half to death. I dropped the frame as I turned around, and she laughed. Feeling embarrassed, I picked it up again and straightened it on her nightstand.

  “Looks fun,” I said.

  She nodded. “It was. My parents never had a honeymoon, so they decided to take one and let us come along. Liam and I spent most of our time getting into trouble, and staying far away from the motel room that they were in,” she said with a laugh.

  She sat down on the bed, and I took a moment to stare at her in her pajamas. A white T-shirt, and a pair of purple capris with cats on them.

  If she was coming on to me, Julie's conceptions on sex were about as blind as mine were.

  She moved over and kicked back the covers, slipping her feet under and then laying down. She lifted the blanket and looked to me with a smile. “Lay down with me?” she asked.

  I raised a brow. “Is that a good idea?” I asked.

  Julie laughed and patted the area next to her. “I won't rape you, Falon. You're not my type,” she said with a grin.

  I laughed as I finally decided to do as she wanted. I got inside with her, and pulled the blankets over us. “So what's the type of guy you rape?” I asked her, as she moved closer to me.

  She rested her head against my chest, and held my hand as she closed her eyes. “The married type. Why? Do you want me to rape you?” she asked.

  I cleared my throat. “Shut up, Julie. You're really on it today, huh?” I asked her.

  She looked up with a smile. “Ke
eping you on your toes. I figure the best way to keep your mind from the gutter is to make you feel embarrassed,” she replied.

  I laughed. “I guess it's working. So, you didn't bring me up here to ravage me?” I asked with a grin, and Julie smiled as she closed her eyes again.

  “No. My first time will be on my honeymoon, not my bedroom at my parents house,” she replied.

  I raised a brow. “You've never-”

  “Have you?” she asked.

  I scoffed. “Do I look like I have?” I asked.

  She shrugged slightly. “You could have before. You've never told me how old you were when you got burned,” she stated.

  I ran my fingers through her hair absentmindedly. “Before you, I'd never really kissed a girl, Julie. Trust me, still a virgin, and might remain that way until I die,” I replied.

  Julie laughed slightly, then sighed. “Damaged goods. Seems like they're all virgins. Liam is,” she said.

  It was my turn to laugh. “You're lying.”

  She opened her eyes and looked up at me. “I am not. I swear he is,” she said,

  I rolled my eyes. “Sure. The guy that's constantly hitting on my sister is a virgin?” I asked.

  Julie nodded. “Yes! Hilary is the first girl he's dated in a while, and if he ever did, he would tell me, or you. But we both are waiting,” she stated.

  “Till marriage?”

  She nodded.

  I nodded. At least that answered my question for any other encounter I was unsure of. No nookie until marriage. No problem.

  “What about Thad?”

  Julie closed her eyes again. “No. He liked a lot of girls before we met, used them as crutches, he said,” she told me, and I could hear a small amount of pain enter her voice.

  “I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it,” I told her, twirling her hair in my fingers.

  “It's okay. Thad used sex as a means of numbing the pain, and when I refused, he'd throw it up in my face. On his bad days, my virginity was treated like a terrorist. It was unnatural and stupid to save yourself for marriage. He didn't care when I pointed out Bible verses about saving yourself till marriage. He'd laugh at it, call it all stupid,” she said.

  I stopped moving, and felt her move closer to me. She fit perfectly against me, and she started nodding off. She was getting comfortable, and that was fine by me.

  “It's not stupid,” I told her. “I think you're an amazing person, Julie.”

  I felt her breathe in deeply. “I think you are too. Maybe one day, we'll both be sexual maniacs with our spouses,” she said, her voice groggy. I figured they may have given her something at the hospital.

  A thought seized me though, at her statement. Not with the sexual maniacs part, but the marriage.

  I know I'm only seventeen, nearly eighteen, mind you, and that really, Julie and I had only been dating a month, but the image I saw when I thought to my future, was her. She was the only girl I'd ever want to be a sexual maniac with.

  She was the only girl I'd ever want for a wife.

  “Marry me someday?” I whispered.

  I could feel her smile. “Sure.”

  ♥

  I didn't fall asleep, even after she started snoring softly. I just sat there, and brushed my fingers through her hair, and listened to her breathing.

  I imagined my life without this. I imagined my life without her, and let me tell you, it didn't look too pretty. Everything seemed dark and brooding without her, the way it had been before.

  With Julie, my path was suddenly being guided by a wisp, glowing brightly and staying close to me. Julie was that light leading me through, keeping me straight.

  The door opened not too long after she dozed off, and her dad peeked his head in. Panic seized me, but her dad only smiled as he looked in.

  “I thought you might be here. Is she okay?” he asked.

  I nodded, nervously pulling myself out from under her. She replaced me with the pillow, and continued on sleeping. I walked out of the room with her dad.

  “Her mom said she needed to sleep,” I said, closing the door gently. “I just waited until someone got here,” I said more urgently.

  “Don't worry. You did the right thing,” he said, grinning.

  I raised a brow. “You're not going to pull the 'boy in bed with daughter glare' at me?” I asked.

  He laughed. “I trust Julie.”

  “Oh,” I said, and then we both laughed.

  ♥

  I told Ava what had happened, and she called Julie's mom later that night to check on her. I texted Julie that I loved her, but she slept through the night. She didn't text me until five a.m. the next day, when I was dead asleep.

  She said she wouldn't be at the hospital the next day, but I went anyway because Liam and Hilary would still be there. Liam said that Julie might come by after her doctor's appointment, but she didn't.

  I went by their house after I picked Ava up and dropped her off at work, and hung out. We watched scary movies, and I held Julie during the bad parts.

  She said she wouldn't hear any results for a few days, and then, she started talking about my birthday.

  No party, I said. Julie rolled her eyes.

  “Of course you'll have a party,” she replied.

  “Never pass up an opportunity for cake,” Liam replied, winking.

  I rolled my eyes. “No party.”

  “But, it's your eighteenth! You can't not have an eighteenth birthday, especially when your girlfriend is desperate to throw you a party,” she replied, squeezing my arm.

  “Don't pout. Don't pout. Don't pout- ugh! Fine,” I said, after she looked up with her puppy eyes and pushed out bottom lip. I kissed her softly and then growled. “Throw me a party. Do whatever you want.”

  So, she did.

  ♥

  The days leading up to my party were tell-tale signs that I was still being drowned beneath the water that was known as ignorant bliss. I heard once that depression was like drowning, and being able to see everyone around you breathing. Happiness was like that too, only you didn't care that you were drowning, and everyone's breathing looked mediocre compared to how you felt.

  I didn't speak to Julie the first part of my birthday. Honestly, I assumed she forgot, and it didn't bother me. If Ava hadn't woken me up with one lit candle on a brownie that morning, I would have forgotten.

  She didn't forget. Before I was getting ready to leave to go to the hospital, Julie texted me. She instructed me that I was not to take Ava's car to work. Liam was going to drive me and Hilary to a secret location later that day.

  Julie would not see me all day. She was heading back to the doctor, to hear the results. She would meet up with us that night, and until then, I was to behave.

  I hated surprises, but I didn't ask about my party at all. We were at the hospital and barely spoke at all. Which was fine, but as the clock got closer and closer to cleaning up, I began to grow nervous.

  Julie stopped texting me, and Liam told me not to worry about it. Tonight, everything would be worth it.

  After cleaning up, we stopped by Hilary's house because she wanted to change. She said she couldn't see any vomit, but she smelled it. Also, she wanted Liam to pick her clothes, which I thought was weird, but for a blind girl, I guess it was a big deal because Liam looked choked up. I hoped Julie never asked me to pick her outfit.

  Hilary came out in a simple, white lace dress, and she looked as happy as can be. I didn't understand it, but it wasn't my relationship. It was just one of those things.

  Midway through the trip, Liam tossed a bandana to me. I held it up, a brow raised at the pink design and asked Liam what it was for.

  “Blind-fold yourself,” he instructed.

  “Why?”

  “Orders from the boss lady. She told me to blindfold you, and take you to this undisclosed location,” he replied.

  I stared at the bandana, and then smiled as I folded it and then tied it. Liam slapped me across the face to make sure I couldn't se
e. I couldn't. I really wanted to slap him back, but he had moved.

  We drove for another few minutes. Then, the car stopped, and I felt hands. I assumed it was Liam. He helped me from the car, and then laughed when I bumped my head on the headliner.

  He closed the door, and then there was nothing. He wasn't leading me anywhere, or even talking to me.

  “Liam?” I asked. There was silence, and for a moment, I thought about what a real douche-bag he would be if he drove me someplace and then left. It seemed like something Liam would do.

  And then she was there. I sensed her even before she took both of my hands in hers and whispered in my ear, “Happy birthday.” I smiled, and started to reach for my blindfold, but she held my hands back. “Not yet. Soon.”

  There was a catch in her voice, and I drew my brows together. “Is something wrong, Julie?” I asked her.

  There was silence around me, and then that catch disappeared. “No. It's just a surprise,” she replied, and then she pulled at my hands and we started walking.

  We didn't walk far before I heard murmurings, and someone saying “Ssh!” Then Julie let go of my hands and her hands moved to my blindfold as everyone yelled surprise.

  Sitting in front of me was something I never could have dreamed of. A faded blue truck, two doors, and Ava holding a set of keys and an envelope.

  She had a large smile on her face as she came to me and laid both in my hands. “I heard from a little birdy about what you wanted to do,” she told me in a soft voice.

  I looked to Julie, who was smiling softly as she walked to my little group of people. She looked guilty.

  “If you want to drive away, then here are the keys, and a small donation. Happy Birthday, Falon,” she said, and Ava leaned forward a gave me a kiss on my cheek.

  I stared at them, unable to move as I looked at her. “You can't afford this, Ava. Why did you-”

  “Not just me,” she interrupted. Everything in that envelope is from me, Jesse, and Julie's parents. Jesse put the down-payment on the truck, and we both split the payments and the insurance and tag. It didn't break anyone's bank, otherwise, I would have found you something newer,” she said, and I heard the tinge of regret.