Lovely Monster

by Shaylee Europe

  We saw an old woman coming down the stairs, and she grinned as she stopped and looked at us. “There's more of you. Hello, boys,” she replied, and nudged up the stairs. “Follow me. The girls are up here.”

  We did, and she lead us to the rooms. We each had one, which was nice, and she was letting us stay with each other. I had considered she might tell the boys to take one room and the girls another, but she didn't.

  “My name is Rosemary, and I'm guessing you are Falon,” she said, looking to me. “And you're Liam.”

  I nodded. “Yes ma'am.”

  She smiled. “Dinner will be done in an hour. I'll call you when it's ready,” she replied.

  “Is there any way I can help?” Julie asked, smiling from the side of the bed.

  Mrs. Rosemary smiled in return and nodded. “Sure, if you want. The kitchen is on the right,” she replied. “Let me know if you need anything, kids.”

  I went inside with Julie, and she was tucking our bags under the bed. “You'll be okay alone for a while, right?” she asked, smiling up at me.

  I nodded, taking off my shirt. “Yeah. I'm going down to help in the farm,” I told her, and got beside her to take another shirt from my bag. She kissed my cheek and stood.

  “My country boy,” she cooed. “I always knew there was a little bit of a farmer in you,” she replied.

  “Yeah, it's written on my face,” I told her, slipping the shirt over my head. “And in my voice. Wouldn't you think all southern accents are country boys?”

  Julie shook her head. “No, I wouldn't. There's a very large area between being country and being a fake,” she told me.

  I smiled. “So, now I'm country?” I asked.

  She shrugged noncommittally. “Let's see how you smell when you come in for dinner. Then I'll let you know.

  ♥

  Mr. Harrison, the old man, was actually really awesome. We were mostly throwing hay into the back of his truck, but we talked to, and I suddenly felt like an adopted grandson.

  Besides Ava, all of my family had either died, or never existed.

  He talked to me about his children, what they were doing with their lives, how many kids they had, how proud he was of them, but I could hear beneath that how he wished they were around more too.

  “What about you? What do you want to do with the rest of your life?” he asked me.

  I started to give him my normal answer of 'I have no clue', but the truth was, I did have a clue. This road trip had proven to me that I had a very large clue.

  “Honestly, I don't care what I do for the rest of my life,” I told him, and stopped. He looked to me, his old gray eyes staring at me inquisitively. “The only thing I want to do is be with that beautiful girl inside, and make her happy. I want to drive her around the world and show her how none of it is as beautiful as she is.”

  I thought he might tell me how stupid that was, or go man on me and tell me that I sounded like a whipped baby, but instead, he smiled. “The sick one? Pretty smile?” he asked.

  I nodded, and threw more hay on the truck. “She has leukemia. Third time. The only way to save her is a bone marrow transplant, and I'm a match. If she doesn't take it-”

  “She'll die,” he finished. I nodded, and he looked at me. He really looked at me. “I've been where you are, only, I had nothing to really offer my wife. She had breast cancer, and the only way for her to survive was to have a double mastectomy.”

  I stopped, and watched as he smiled slightly. I felt like he knew exactly what I was feeling.

  “She was only forty-five. She was afraid I wouldn't find her attractive anymore. I told her I would love her through it. I'd never stop loving her. She eventually had the surgery, and I've held true to my promise. Because what she looks like doesn't matter to me. I love her. Her soul, her essence, my Rosemary, and I think that's how you love that lovely girl inside.”

  “No one has ever said something more true,” I told him, and we finished the hay.

  ♥

  We went in and ate, and after a while, we took our showers and got ready for bed. I just laid there and held Julie, and thought about Mrs. Rosemary, and Mr. Harrison.

  One day, I wanted Julie and I to be like them.

  ♥

  The tow truck brought our truck to Mr. Harrison's house. We packed up again, and while Liam and Julie were busy blowing up the air mattress, and Hilary and Mrs. Rosemary were busy instructing them how, I handed a slip of paper to the old man.

  “What's this?” he asked.

  “My phone number,” I told him. “I know it might sound weird, but the best part of our trip has been meeting you and Mrs. Rosemary. I don't want to lose contact, so if you call that number, I'll always answer.”

  He smiled, and then he hugged me.

  And then we left, bound to Louisiana.

  ♥

  “Julie, marry me?” I asked, looking at her.

  Julie raised a brow. “Falon, I'm dying.”

  “Yeah, well, I'm ugly. We all have our problems.”

  She smiled, and then started to laugh as she shook her head. “I'm not going to marry you at a drive thru,” she told me, kicking her feet up on my dashboard. Her sparkling purple nail polish glittered against the sunlight.

  “Then where? Where will you marry me, Julie Michaels?” I asked her, and watched as she shrugged.

  “Las Vegas.”

  I laughed this time. “So, no drive thru, but Vegas is okay?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Yes. And I want to be married by Elvis, of course. And, if you could get Marilyn to come to my wedding, that would be great,” she said, and laughed.

  “And Batman?”

  “Of course!” she said immediately, turning toward me with a wide smile. “You have to have Batman at your wedding. It's a crime not to have Batman,” she told me, and we both began to laugh.

  The guy at the window probably thought we were the crazy folks as he handed us our bag and drinks, but that was okay. Hearing Julie's laugh was something that I would take the crazy look for.

  I drove away from the place, and looked out the corner of my eye to see Julie drinking the vanilla milkshake. Her head clean of hair, covered by the red bandana. Her green eyes the brightest that I had seen them all morning, and a small smile on her face. She was happy.

  “So, Vegas, Elvis, Marilyn, and Batman. Then, you'll marry me?”

  Julie smiled, and then shrugged slightly. “What girl could refuse an offer like that?”

  ♥

  We were sitting in front of my mother's house a few hours later. I stared at the small apartment door, knowing she was sitting behind it. I had no doubt that she was inside.

  Julie reached over and touched my hand. When I looked at her, she w as smiling. “It'll be okay. I'll be there with you,” she told me.

  I nodded, though I still wasn't sure. Still, I got out, and I came around the front of the truck. I took Julie's hand as we made our way up to the door.

  For a moment, I stared at the door, and my anger boiled. I thought I might snap. And come completely unhinged. If that happened, everything would suddenly turn to crap, and nothing would have been worth it.

  But I lifted my hand, and I knocked against that door, and my breathing got labored as I waited for the woman who had burned me to open the door. I waited to see the woman who had given birth to me, raised me, and then decided to dispose of me.

  I wanted to see the face of the woman who destroyed my life.

  When the door finally opened, my heart was racing, and my knees were shaking, and I knew I was afraid. I was scared out of my wits, and I wasn't sure if I could do it, even with Julie standing by my side, I wasn't sure that I could do this.

  Because everything had been so bad after she had tried to kill. My life had been horrible and I didn't think I was going to make it. I was sure that I would kill myself before I turned eighteen. I was sure that I would be gone, and this pain would be over.

  But, God had a way of changing everything, and flipping
it on it's head.

  When my mother opened the door, I saw her. I s aw the woman that had been imprisoned for five years. She was in front of me, flesh and blood, and she recognized who I was right away. I could see it in her eyes, the ones that darted back and forth.

  “I don't think you should be here,” she said immediately. Her eyes were moving sporadically, her hand reaching up to close her sweater as if she was revealing something.

  Julie smiled softly, leaning over to look at her. “Ma'am, we just want to talk. Is it okay if we come in?” she asked.

  I let go of Julie's hand.

  She looked up at me, because I felt her eyes staring at my face. I knew she was worried I was about to punch her or something, but I wasn’t. Everything had changed, and I was staring at her through new glasses, the ones that weren't shaded.

  “I don't want to upset you,” I told my mother. “I thought I did, but I don't. I wanted to blame you for everything. I wanted to tell you, very descriptively, the pain that I had went through since the accident, but I don't want to anymore, because not all of it is true.”

  Julie took a step away, and my mother wouldn't look at me, but she hadn't slammed the door in my face. She just stood there, clutching her sweater, and holding her death grip against the door.

  I tried to keep breathing.

  “I don't know why you did what you did, and I thought I wanted to know. I thought that if I knew, suddenly all the pain I went through would make sense, and I could really blame you for everything, but none of that would be true. If this hadn't happened to me, I may have never found my way. I never would have met Julie, I never would have made the friends that I have now, or been the places that I've been, and most importantly, I may have never met the Lord,” I said.

  She looked up. She looked so much like Ava, only older and in more pain. I wondered if the institution she had been in had done t his to her, or I had.

  “I wanted to hate you, but I don't. I forgive you. I'm sorry for intruding like this, but I'm going to leave, and you'll never see me again, and I think that'll be okay now.”

  That was when the door finally closed, and my mother disappeared. A small part of me broke, at the simple gesture, the meaning in it, but when I looked to Julie, she was smiling, and she walked up to me and hugged me.

  In my ear, she whispered, “I love you.”

  ♥

  The next few days, we drove. We went anywhere we landed, and that was okay. No big cities, or huge landmarks, just secret spots, that people before us had found, and people after us would find. And we left our mark, just as they had, and would continue to.

  And then, one day, day eight, to be exact, we all just kind of knew that it was time to go home. It was time to go back where we belonged.

  ♥

  We arrived home late. But it seemed our parents had been waiting anxiously. Hilary's parents nearly bolted out the door as Liam helped her to the house. He kissed her and then left.

  The Michaels were the same. They stood at the door, and Liam got out, grabbing their bags. I looked at Julie, who was smiling at me.

  “Should I apologize to them yet?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “Mom is liable to kill you right now. Give me a few days and I'll have her calling you honey boo again,” she told me.

  When she leaned over and kissed me, I knew something had changed. I wasn't sure what it was, and it didn't feel bad, but I knew something had changed.

  I watched her get out and walk away, and I was okay with it for now.

  ♥

  As I pulled up into my own yard, I noticed Ava's car wasn't there. I figured she must have been at Jesse's, and that was okay. One night, alone. Just me, myself, and I.

  As I was grabbing my bags, my phone began to buzz, and I assumed it was Julie or Ava. I picked it up and put it to my ear. “What up, lady?” I asked.

  However, my eyes widened slightly when it was a man's voice, and he begun to lead me through what might have been the best speech I ever heard.

  The only one that trumped it was the one Julie gave me a few days later.

  ♥

  Ava came home early that morning, and we had our reunion. She was crying, I actually teared up, and then we talked for a long time. I told her everything, about our trip, the old couple, the meeting with our mother, and finally, the phone call.

  I told Ava before Julie, and Ava started smiling, and she hugged me tightly and told me she was proud of me, and she loved me.

  That's all anyone can ask for.

  ♥

  Julie was the one to call me a few days later, and invite me, Ava, and Jesse to supper at her house. I asked her if it was safe, and Julie assured me t hat her mother no longer hated me. In fact, she absolutely loved me and I could do no wrong.

  She proved this as we showed up, and she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. “Thank you, Falon,” she told me, squeezing me. “I'm glad you could make it.”

  I looked to Julie with alarm, but she merely smiling.

  We came in, and they had cooked a nice dinner. Turkey, roast, vegetables, and desserts, and I was almost convinced I had forgotten some major holiday.

  But we ate, and after a while, with the tension building up in the room, Julie's mom finally squeezed Julie's hand, and smiled. I saw Julie give her a small, warm smile and stand up.

  “I actually have a reason for why I wanted to see everyone,” she replied.

  Liam grinned. “So we weren't just getting a free meal?”

  She laughed slightly, and looked at her mom and dad again. A warm look passed among them, and then she looked at me. The look that crossed her face was as different as he kiss had been, and I felt the excitement and calm in me rising.

  “I've decided, if Falon is still willing, to go through with the transplant,” she said, and my ears suddenly felt full of cotton.

  I nodded, not being able to say anything, but it didn't matter anyway. Everyone around the table had begun to cry and be joyful, and they all talked as if the mood had been lifted.

  “Come on,” Julie whispered, taking my hand and pulling me from the table. I followed willingly, and we headed upstairs to her room. Eventually they'd realize we were gone, but that didn't matter.

  Julie was going to live.

  The moment she closed the door, I swept her up in a kiss, and suddenly every wire inside my brain had gone live. I was pulling her to me, and I was twirling her around, because I had never been so happy in my life.

  When I finally stopped kissing her, she laughed, and she smiled up at me. I saw the girl I had fallen in love with return. I saw the brightness in her eyes, and I saw that spark. I saw the life I had use to envy come back.

  “What made all this happen, Julie? Why did my prayers get answered?” I asked her, holding her close.

  Julie smiled, and her hand touched my face. “Partly, because of you. But mostly, I found out who's decision it was, in the end,” she replied. “This entire time, I have you and mom and dad, and everyone I love pushing me to live, and then I had my guilt and the little voice in my head telling me that this was it, and I’ve been torn hopelessly. But after watching you forgive your mom, and be so strong when I knew how close you had been to going over the edge, it made me start to think,” she said.

  Julie pulled away, and she w as crying. But they were happy tears, because I felt them too. I felt them crawling down my cheeks as I watched my soul mate live.

  “I thought I was being strong by saying I was okay and ready to die. I thought if I was okay with it, then no one would see how scared I really was, how terrified I was to leave everyone behind. I thought I was fighting, but I wasn't. I thought if I completely shattered, and allowed myself to be scared, that I would be weak, and then I realized what I hadn’t. I was weak, and that was okay. There was strength in learning that I was weak, and that falling to my knees, and begging God to give me the strength to get back was okay, but I wouldn't have seen that if you hadn't done the same thing,” she said, and she
looked at me again. She came back to me, and her hand touched my cheek, and she smiled. “In the end, it wasn't my decision, or yours, or anyone else's. The Lord lead me in the right direction, after He helped me back up, and He let me know it was okay to live.”

  All I could feel was the light that had suddenly lit up inside me. Things were going to be okay. I knew that now, as to where before, I had been completely unsure, and terrified of the unknown, I knew now, everything was going to be okay.

  “And you'll take my bone marrow?”

  She smiled. “They said you were a match, so yeah. I'd love to have your bone marrow inside me,” she said with a grin.

  I sighed in relief and kissed her again, and again, and again, until she was laughing, and we were okay. Everything was okay, because she was okay.

  “I have more good news,” I told her.

  Julie was smiling as she raised a brow. “What is it?”

  “I have a job.”

  She stared at me, and then narrowed her eyes. “Okay? I'll bite,” she replied, and then I proceeded to tell her about the phone call.

  Mr. Harrison had called to check on Julie, and then to offer me a job. When he was younger, he had traveled around the country, meeting his farmers, learning their farms, and attending any type of meeting head on. He had been the face, and things had ran more smoothly that way.

  He had always assumed his sons would continue that tradition, but they had pursued other careers, and Mr. Harrison had grown old and couldn't leave.

  But he didn't want to keep discussing problems over the phone, and he could feel the heart of his business beginning to turn into an arrangement rather than a family.

  “He wants to pay me to travel to the farms, attend the meetings, and fill in for him. He wants me to help him out, and do what I've always wanted to do, only, now we wouldn't have to worry about not having the money to eat if we spend it right,” I told her.