Defiant Heir

by Michelle Heard

  “But…” I hear her breaths speed up. “You asked me on a date. There was more between us,” she argues.

  My stubborn fighter.

  I close my eyes as another wave of pain moves through me.

  I don’t want to let you go.

  But I don’t have a choice.

  “Yeah, that was a mistake,” I keep lying. “We were never meant to be more than friends.”

  “How can you say that?” she gasps. “I know you love me, Kao. I saw it in your eyes. I felt it in your hugs.”

  God help me. I’m not strong enough to break her heart.

  Getting up from the bed, I thrust a hand through my hair.

  Fuck, this is killing me.

  “Of course I love you, Fallon,” I admit one truth before I continue with the lies, “As a friend. Nothing more.”

  I hear her breath hitch, and my arms yearn to comfort her.

  “How can you stand there and say there was nothing more than friendship between us?” she snaps.

  It’s good that she’s getting angry. It will help her deal with the heartache.

  Before I can answer her, Fallon continues, “What about all the things you said last Wednesday? You asked me on a date, Kao. Yeah, you wanted to take things slow, but… you asked me on the date.”

  “I made a mistake.” I let out a sigh. All the lying is gutting me wide open. It feels like my soul is hemorrhaging. “I… We’ve always gotten along. I think with Hunter and Jade, and then Jase and Mila pairing up, I got caught up in the moment.”

  Fuck, this is so unfair. Why did that truck have to hit us? Why did this happen to us?

  I shake my head, the questions only filling my chest with more despair.

  My heart cracks right down the middle as I say, “I care for you the same way I care for the other girls. I’m sorry I let you think otherwise.”

  I hear her get up, and then she comes to stand in front of me. I can feel her gaze on me and lower my eyes in the direction of the floor.

  Her hand touches my jaw, and then she nudges my face up. “Don’t look down and tell me we’re nothing more than friends.”

  I pull back from her touch and gathering the last of my strength, I keep my voice low and cold as I say, “Stop digging for something that’s not there, Fallon! I don’t have to justify my feelings to you. Fucking drop it already. I’m trying to save our friendship.”

  “I…” I hear her suck in a trembling breath. “I just don’t understand.”

  “What’s there to understand?” I snap, needing to end this conversation. “I never should’ve asked you on the date. We shouldn’t have been on that road, to begin with.”

  Needing to leave because I can’t stomach hurting her more than I already have, I walk in the direction I think the door is. My hand smacks against the wood, and I feel for the knob. As I let myself out, I hear Fallon’s breath hitch before a soft sob escapes her.

  Closing my eyes, it’s almost impossible to leave her, but I somehow manage. Shutting the door behind me, I stumble in a broken stupor towards my own bedroom.

  My heart feels shredded, but I keep telling myself it’s for the best. I can’t offer Fallon the future she deserves.

  It’s for the best.

  She’ll find someone who will be able to give her the world.

  Once I close the door behind me, I sink to the floor, and I shove both my hands through my hair. I try to breathe past the unbearable pain until I lower a hand to claw at my chest.

  It fucking hurts. So much.

  God, why didn’t I die?

  Chapter 9

  FALLON

  I have to meet with Dr. Menard at eleven am. You’d think it would be the only thing on my mind, but it’s not. I’m still trying to process everything that’s happened. My emotions are all over the place.

  Kao’s words. They keep shredding my heart to pieces.

  My guilt is eating away at me, destroying the last of my spirit. I shouldn’t have told Kao to take that route to the restaurant. The accident could’ve been avoided if I’d kept my mouth shut.

  Kao blames me.

  Through the turbulent mess inside me, fear taints everything with despairing shadows. How am I going to adjust to life with scars? A life without Kao?

  While I try to make sense of everything, I’m constantly bombarded with memories of us, which hurt me even more.

  My stomach is knotted with nerves as I walk toward Kao, where he’s sitting with the other guys in the living room. We’re all at Jase’s place for a barbeque. My prom’s this coming Friday, and I’m out of time. Either I ask Kao to escort me, or I’ll have to go alone.

  Guys from school have asked me, but I said no to them all. There’s only one man I have eyes for, and I’m inches from him.

  Kao’s striking gaze drifts to me, and the corner of his mouth lifts. He’s so attractive it stuns me for a moment.

  “Where are the other girls?” Jase asks, yanking my attention away from Kao.

  The smile on my face trembles from the nervousness pulsing through me as I answer, “The girls are still out back talking about what they’re wearing to the prom.” Turning my gaze to Kao, I ask, “Can we talk?”

  A slight frown forms on his forehead as he places his drink on the table. “Sure.”

  I gesture to the front door. “Is outside okay?”

  The other guys stare at us, and it makes me even more anxious. When Kao stands up, I spin around and hurry out of Jase’s place. I take the steps down the porch and head in the direction of the rock garden.

  Lights make the backyard look like a fairyland, but I’m too busy trying to control my breathing to take in any of it.

  Reaching the water feature that’s nestled between boulders, I swallow hard before I turn to face Kao, where he stopped behind me. His eyes shine like polished sapphires in the moonlight.

  “So… uhm,” I struggle to think of the right words. I’ve practiced what I’d say a hundred times, and now I can’t remember anything.

  Kao reaches for me, and his strong fingers wrap around my arm. “Are you okay?”

  I nod and suck in a trembling breath. “Yeah, I just… I want to ask you something.”

  Concern still darkens Kao’s features, and then an encouraging smile tugs at his mouth. “What can I help with?”

  My eyes drift over Kao’s features, and once again, I’m left breathless by how handsome he is. Add how kind and caring he is, and it’s hard to believe he’s not an angel.

  “Ah…” I stammer, “my prom is this coming Friday,” I begin. Wanting to do this right, I square my shoulders and lift my chin a little higher. “Will you go with me?”

  For a moment, Kao looks puzzled, then a smile spreads over his face. “Damn, I was worried there for a second. Is that all you wanted to ask?”

  I nod, fear that he’ll say no, making my eyes lock on his mouth.

  “I’d be honored to, Fallon,” his lips form the magical words I’ve been dying to hear.

  I let out a breath of relief as my mouth splits into a wide smile.

  Kao still looks puzzled as he asks, “Have none of the guys from school asked you?”

  “There were a couple,” I admit. “But I didn’t want to go with any of them. I want my prom to be perfect.”

  Kao lets out a chuckle. “And I’m the only guy who will let you dress him up, right?”

  I roll my eyes. “That’s not the only reason.”

  “Well, let me know what I should wear and what time I have to pick you up.”

  I grin at Kao, and unable to resist, I throw my arms around his neck and give him a hug. “Thank you. It means a lot to me that you said yes.”

  Kao’s arms wrap around me, and it makes a kaleidoscope of butterflies flutter to life in my stomach.

  With Kao by my side, my prom will be a dream come true.

  A tear sneaks out of my eye and soon disappears into the bandage.

  Since the prom, Kao’s been… my person.

  I’m drowning in mi
sery when there’s a knock at my door, and Hana walks into my room.

  She takes one look at me then comes to give me a hug. “Hey, my friend.” Her voice is filled with compassion and love.

  “Hey,” I murmur.

  Hana pulls back and sits down next to me on the bed. “How are you holding up?”

  I shake my head. I’d typically act strong around everyone. But with my family, Hana, Jase, and Hunter, I don’t have to. They’re the closest to me, and I don’t have to pretend with them.

  “It… it hurts so much,” I admit, and a sob escapes my lips. I press the back of my hand to my mouth. Hana spent the whole night with me after the devastating conversation with Kao.

  She wraps me up in a hug. “I don’t get it as well. Anyone could see Kao loved you. I wish I knew why he’s so distant with you.”

  When I pull back, I unload all my heartache on my best friend. “I think he blames me for the accident.” A sob shudders through me. “I told him to take that route.” Shaking my head, I mutter, “If only I’d kept my mouth shut.”

  Hana shakes her head. “It’s not your fault, Fallon. Don’t blame yourself.” She lets out a sigh. “Maybe Kao doesn’t want to saddle you with his disability. Then again, the transplant will give him his vision back. None of it makes any sense.”

  “Or it could be the scars,” I gasp. “They’re hideous. No guy would want to be with someone who looks like me.” My chin trembles and more tears flow over my cheeks.

  “Don’t, Fallon. You’re not hideous.” Hana pulls me back into a hug. “Your dad’s taking you to the doctor’s appointment, right?”

  “Yeah.” Pulling back, I meet Hana’s gaze. “What if it doesn’t work? What if it makes the scars worse?”

  “Dr. Menard’s the best. I’m sure the surgery will be a success,” Hana tries to encourage me.

  “I’ll still have some scarring.”

  “You’ll still be my beautiful friend,” Hana says.

  “Kao might not think so,” I whisper. Since Kao’s strong reaction to my injuries and the conversation we had yesterday, my self-esteem is practically non-existent.

  “I’m sure Kao doesn’t think that.” Hana gets up and says, “Take deep breaths. Your dad will be here any second.”

  I do my best to calm down, and when I’ve managed to regain some control over my disastrous emotions, I rise to my feet. I lift my chin, and taking a last deep breath, I leave the room with Hana at my side.

  Walking into the living room, I instantly notice Kao where he’s sitting on the couch next to Noah.

  The sight of him threatens to knock my feet from under me, but somehow I manage to keep my composure. I force a smile to my lips. “Hey, guys.”

  Noah’s head snaps up from his laptop. “Hey. Are you going to the doctor’s appointment?”

  “Yeah.”

  Just then, there’s a knock at the front door. Hana goes to open for my father.

  Dad steps inside, and just seeing him makes the tears threaten to fall. While Noah and Kao greet him, I hurry out of the suite, not able to keep my composure for much longer.

  KAO

  Noah’s trying to keep me up to date with classes by talking through the material with me.

  “Should we do the assignment?” he asks. “Then I can submit it on your behalf.”

  I turn my head in Noah’s direction as a wave of thankfulness washes over me. I haven’t felt many good emotions the past week, and it makes me over-emotional.

  Lifting my hand, I move it over to Noah, and once I feel his forearm, I grip him tightly. Clearing my throat, I murmur, “Thank you.” I turn to Noah and pull him into a hug. “Thank you for everything. I know I’ve been a dick, but God, I would not survive this without you.”

  He wraps one arm around me. “I’ll always have your back.”

  “I know.” I swallow hard. “And it means everything to me.”

  We’ve just pulled apart when I hear Jade ask, “Guys, you want coffee?”

  The corner of my mouth lifts. “That would be awesome.” Jade and Mila take turns checking if I want something to drink or eat. It’s fucking humbling how hard my friends are trying to make things easier for me.

  I hear more movement, and then Jase asks, “Are we having lunch at the restaurant today? I think you should start getting out.”

  And then there’s Jase, always pushing me. He means well, and I know I can’t hide forever. I need to find a new routine, a new way of living.

  Silence follows his question, and it feels like everyone is holding their breaths as they wait for my response.

  Then Jase says, “I’ll even fucking clear out the restaurant. I just don’t want you holing up in the suite.”

  I let out a chuckle because Jase would turn this campus upside down for any of his friends.

  “You don’t have to. But can we go either before or after the lunch rush?”

  “Hell yeah!” Jase lets out, probably happy that I didn’t fight him on it.

  “We can go at eleven?” Jade mentions. “Or at two? It should be quieter then.” She lets out a huff. “And I’ll freaking punch anyone who looks sideways at you.”

  I let out a bark of laughter. There’s no doubt in my mind Jade would do that. She’s fierce as fuck when it comes to us.

  “Let’s make it for two,” Jase says. “That way, Fallon will be back from her doctor’s appointment.”

  Instantly my worry for her shoots through me like a rocket, extinguishing the calmness I just felt.

  “Here’s your coffee,” Jade murmurs, and then I feel her take hold of my hand. She guides my fingers closer and waits for me to take hold of the cup.

  “Got it,” I say. “Thanks.”

  “How did the conversation go with Fallon?” Jase suddenly asks.

  “Not as well as I hoped it would,” I admit, knowing Jase probably knows already that I practically ripped Fallon’s heart out.

  Just thinking about yesterday tears my heart wide open again.

  Not wanting to get into the details with Jase, I say, “We’ll get back to being friends again. Don’t worry about it.”

  Noah’s been typing non-stop during the conversation, and it has me asking, “Are you doing my assignment?”

  “Just the basics, then we can work on it together,” he mumbles.

  Jase lets out a chuckle. “Noah, you’re unbelievable. Kao can thank his lucky stars for you.”

  Smiling, I add, “For all of you. You’ve all helped a hell of a lot. I really appreciate it.”

  “That’s what friends are for,” Jase says. I hear him move. “I better get my ass to class.” Then he hollers, “Hunter, let’s go!”

  I listen to my friends moving around the suite, which lulls me into a sense of calm.

  Honestly, I’d be fucked without them. They make the darkness bearable.

  “Okay, let’s do this,” Noah says, drawing my attention to him.

  We work on the assignment until it’s done, but my thoughts stay with Fallon. I wonder if the appointment is going well and if she’s okay.

  When the front door opens, I turn my head slightly in its direction.

  “You’re back,” Noah says. “How did it go?”

  “Good,” Fallon answers.

  “What did the doctor say?” Noah asks the question that’s burning on the tip of my tongue.

  “He was optimistic. He can only schedule the surgery in January.” I can hear the ache straining Fallon’s words. “All and all the feedback was good.”

  Fallon’s not telling us everything, and I almost ask her what it is, but I know I have no right.

  “We’re all going for lunch at two,” Noah informs her.

  “I’m going to pass. I’m tired after the appointment. Have fun, though.”

  I hear her walk away from us, and then her bedroom door shuts.

  “How does she look?” I ask Noah.

  “I haven’t seen the cuts. She’s still wearing a bandage,” he tells me.

  “I mean emoti
onally? Is she okay?”

  Noah pauses for a moment, then he murmurs, “She looks terrible, Kao. She’s not coping.”

  My body jerks with the instinct to get up and go after her. I want to comfort her so badly, it’s tightening every muscle.

  But I remain seated, knowing I’m the last person she needs right now.

  “Don’t worry. Hana’s with her,” Noah says as if he can sense my internal struggle.

  Noah starts to go through more of the work I missed, but I’m hardly paying attention.

  Staying away from Fallon is fucking hard. I have no idea how long I’m going to manage to keep up with the act. As much as I need my friends, I might have to consider leaving the academy.

  Fuck, who would’ve thought this is how the year would turn out? I think back to the day the girls moved in.

  I remember the welcome ball and how beautiful Fallon looked? Images of her flash through my mind, and I find relief in them. They lessen the dark.

  I was going to ask Summer to accompany me to the welcome ball, but after Jase said we should all go as a group, I let that idea sail. Also, the girls didn’t seem to get along with Summer and her friends. That’s how I automatically became Fallon’s plus one.

  As I walk out of my room, my eyes lock onto Fallon, where she’s a couple of steps ahead of me, heading toward the living room. My breath catches in my throat. She looks fucking beautiful in a silver dress that matches my charcoal suit. My gaze drifts down her perfect body, stopping at her ass.

  Damn, she’s sexy as fuck.

  There’s a sharp burst of attraction, and I’m unable to tear my eyes away from her.

  “Mila, can you help me with my necklace?” Fallon asks as she steps into the open space, yanking me out of my thoughts.

  “I’ll help,” the words rush from me as I come up behind her. Moving to stand in front of Fallon, I take the necklace from her hand. I open the clasp, and taking a step closer to her, I first brush her hair to the side. Her soft scent spins a web around me, and unable to stop myself, I lean in close until our cheeks brush, and I clasp the necklace in place.

  Awareness grows in my chest, and a current zaps between us. Pausing for a moment, I take a deep breath of Fallon as the attraction increases. It’s over-powering.