After she finished, the staff gradually filed out, leaving the two of us alone.
She smiled and brought out two fresh glasses, then poured. “Want to try it?”
“Of course.” I walked over to the bar and took a seat, putting the file folder on the bar top next to me.
My wine tasting habits were deeply ingrained. I inspected the color, noting the deep burgundy. Swirled it a little to see its viscosity. Then I brought it close to my nose and inhaled the rich aroma while Mom did the same.
“It’s called Poetic,” Mom said. “It’s a blend of Syrah, Malbec, and Petit Verdot.”
I took a sip. It began with a bright berry flavor, leading to a smooth mid-palate with hints of coffee. The finish had a pleasant spicy quality.
“This is excellent,” I said.
“Thank you,” she said. “It’s a limited release, but if customers enjoy it, I want to put it into the regular production schedule.”
“I think you should.” I took another sip, then put my glass down. “Mom, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“I know you have to go home,” she said. “When do you leave?”
“No, that’s not it.” I slid the folder closer. God, how was I going to say this? “I think Dad’s having an affair.”
The color drained from her face, but otherwise, she kept perfectly still. Her eyes were on her glass. I hesitated, wondering if I should say more. Wishing I didn’t have to break this to her.
Angry at my fucking father.
“What do you know?” she asked, finally, her voice soft.
“He was with her in Tacoma this week,” I said. “There are photos.”
“How long?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I suspected something was going on and asked Leo to help.”
She nodded, slowly, but remained silent for a long moment. I waited.
“I should have known,” she said, finally.
The sick feeling in my stomach spread. “This isn’t your fault, Mom.”
“No, it isn’t,” she said, meeting my eyes. “But I’ve been ignoring the signs for years. We had you kids, and the business. I let him take over everything, and I’ve regretted it more times than I can count.”
She poured herself more wine, but instead of tossing it back, like she needed the rush of alcohol, she moved slowly with it. Brought it to her nose and inhaled. Took a careful sip. Closed her eyes as she swallowed. Like the flavors of her hard work helped calm her more than the alcohol itself.
“I don’t know what to do, Mom,” I said. “I don’t know what to say to you, or what to suggest.”
She met my eyes again. “This is too big for you to fix. You should go back to San Francisco. You’ve been away too long as it is.”
“I’m not leaving,” I said. “There’s no way I’m going home in the middle of this.”
“I can’t ask you to stay,” she said.
“You’re not. You didn’t ask me to come in the first place. It’s my decision. You have enough to cope with. Don’t start making yourself feel guilty over me.”
She laid her hand over mine and squeezed. “Thank you.”
“What are you going to do?”
She took another slow sip of wine, then set her glass gently on the bar. “I’m going to kick his sorry ass out.”
17
Zoe
This is stupid. Why are we so stupid? I’m drunk. Should delete.
~Text from Zoe, unsent
It had been a long day. My bridezilla’s wedding was fast approaching, and her insanity kept growing. I’d fielded at least ten emails and text messages today alone. They were either questions I’d already answered—often more than once—or requests that made me want to tell her to go fuck herself and have her wedding somewhere else.
But I hadn’t. I’d replied with courtesy and professionalism, all while calling her cock-themed names in my head. It hadn’t helped very much.
I’d also overheard Roland telling Cooper that he had a flight home tomorrow. The wave of disappointment that had hit me was nothing short of ridiculous. Just because I was getting used to seeing Roland around all the time didn’t mean I should want him to stay. It shouldn’t matter to me if he came or went. It wasn’t like it was a surprise. The only surprising thing in this entire situation was the fact that he’d been here as long as he had.
Actually, that wasn’t true. The surprising thing was how much my stupid body wanted to get naked with him.
I blamed the tequila. If I hadn’t spent the night sleeping in his bed, I wouldn’t have been subjected to his stupidly delicious smell.
Every time I saw him, I had visions of him fucking me. Not memories. I had plenty of those to draw from, but this was different. This was now. And I did not know how to deal with it. My stupid hormones were driving me up the wall. It wasn’t just the fact that it had been a while since I’d had anything between my legs that wasn’t battery-operated. I’d been insanely attracted to Roland since we’d met so long ago, and somehow our history—and all those goddamn feelings—weren’t enough to keep me from still being insanely attracted to him.
I was an idiot, and it was good he was leaving. That’s what I kept telling myself, anyway.
I closed my laptop and grabbed my things, ready to get out of here for the day. I just needed to leave a note for the front desk before I headed home.
Downstairs, all was quiet in the lobby. I went behind the front desk to leave my note, pasting the sticky note to the monitor.
The front door whooshed open and I glanced up. Lawrence stalked through the lobby without looking in my direction. He seemed angry, but it was hard to tell with him. He always looked like someone had spit in his food.
A few seconds later, Cooper pushed the front door open with his usual bravado. He paused to stomp his boots on the mat outside. I wondered how long it had taken Shannon to get him to do that. Probably twenty years—minimum.
His face broke into a wide smile when he saw me.
“Hey, Zoe-bowie,” he said. “You working late tonight? It’s quiet in here if you are.”
“No, I’m on my way out.”
“Is my mom over here?” he asked.
“She was,” I said. “She was doing staff training earlier in the small tasting room. Your dad came in a second ago, so she’s probably still back there.”
“Perfect. So how are you? Are your needs being met?” He started down the hall, still talking, so I followed. “We both know you did the right thing. But I recognize the situation you’re now in, and believe me, I sympathize. If I ever had to go too long without getting laid, I’m sure it would send me down a spiral of incessant dick-wanking. Because, let’s be honest, cranking the love pump gets the job done, but it’s not an equivalent. I think it’s about a two to one ratio, don’t you?”
Before I could answer—sometimes it took a second to process everything Cooper said at any given time—he opened the door to the tasting room.
“Lawrence, I know you’re having an affair.”
Shannon’s voice hit me, and it felt like someone had kicked the air out of my lungs. Cooper froze next to me, and the room went horribly silent.
Shannon stood behind the counter, her face alarmingly calm, given what she’d just said. Roland stood nearby, his arms crossed, his eyes on his dad. Lawrence looked like he’d just walked into an ambush. His face was still, but a red flush crept across his skin and his eyes were wide.
I was not supposed to be here.
“Shannon, let’s go home and talk,” Lawrence said.
“No,” she said. “You’re going to tell me the truth, and you’re going to do it now.”
Lawrence glanced around the room. “We need to talk in private.”
“They’re our children,” Shannon said. “You did this to them, too.”
“But Zoe is—”
“Stop deflecting,” Shannon said. “Tell me what’s going on.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I�
��d been so uncomfortable. I swallowed hard and risked a glance at Roland. His eyes flicked to me, his face unreadable. He couldn’t want me here to witness this. I wanted to shrink down and slink out of the room, hoping no one would notice. But Cooper slipped his hand in mine and squeezed. God, this was really happening.
“All right, fine,” Lawrence said. He widened his stance and crossed his arms—didn’t get much more defensive than that. “Yes, I was seeing someone.”
The anger that flashed in Shannon’s eyes sent a zing of fear through me. I’d never seen her look so angry, yet so disturbingly calm at the same time.
“Who is she?” Shannon asked. “And how long has this been going on?”
“Do we really have to do this here?” Lawrence asked.
“Yes, we do,” Shannon said. “Who is she and how long have you been seeing her?”
Lawrence sighed, but kept his defensive posture. “Her name is Kristen, and I met her six or seven months ago.”
“Is she the only one?” Shannon asked.
“Yes,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. His put-out attitude made me want to punch him in the face. I couldn’t imagine how Shannon was feeling. “Just her.”
“Have there been others?” Shannon asked.
Lawrence worked his jaw, and for a second, I thought he was going to refuse to answer. “Yes, there have. But, honey, I’m ending things with Kristen. It was a mistake on my part, but it’s over now. I know, I shouldn’t have. But I’m under a lot of pressure, and things here are so tense. I got carried away and let things go too far.”
“Was that supposed to be an apology?” Shannon asked.
“I’m just saying, I know I was wrong,” Lawrence said. “Let’s go home and talk privately so we can work this out. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. You can track my phone, read my emails. Whatever you need.”
Shannon’s brow knitted together, and she looked at Lawrence like he was either crazy, or very stupid. Maybe she was trying to decide which.
“Is that a joke?” she asked. “Because you cannot look at me after more than thirty years of marriage and four children and say you’re under pressure and things are tense, therefore you had a goddamn affair. That does not make it okay.”
“I realize that,” he said.
“No, I don’t think you do,” she said. “Those children and this business are the reason I’ve stood by you all these years. I didn’t want to break up our family, and I didn’t know who would run things if you left. And that was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made. I still don’t know how I’m going to avoid losing Salishan. But I’m not letting this continue another second.”
“Shannon—”
“No,” she said, her voice cracking like a whip. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. You betrayed me in the worst way imaginable. You betrayed your family—your children. And I’m not having it. You have thirty minutes to clear your things out of my house. I want you gone.”
“I’ve been running this place for years,” Lawrence said. “You can’t just throw me out.”
“Yes, she can,” Roland said. His voice was low and dangerous, sending a chill up my spine.
“We need to talk about this,” Lawrence said.
“Get out,” Shannon said. “Now.”
Cooper drew me closer and put an arm around my shoulders. I slipped mine around his waist and gave him a squeeze, hoping to offer what little comfort I could. I wondered how drunk I’d have to get him later to deal with this insanity. Roland’s gaze was fixed on Lawrence, his face all hard lines. I had no doubt he’d drag his father out of here physically if he had to.
Lawrence’s eyes swept around the room again, his jaw clenched. We all stayed silent. I could hardly breathe. Finally, Lawrence stomped out and down the hall. A second later, I heard the front door open and close.
Cooper let me go and rushed around the bar, scooping his mom into his arms. She rested her head against chest and hugged him. Roland let out a long breath and rubbed the back of his neck.
I almost wanted to cry. Or maybe follow Lawrence outside and kick the shit out of him. Shannon was a better person than me. If I’d have been in her shoes, I wouldn’t have given him a chance to get his stuff. I’d have piled it in front of the house and had a big fucking bonfire.
Roland walked around the bar to join Cooper with his mom. They both spoke softly to her, murmuring that everything was going to be all right. Shannon’s calm finally broke, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
I was once again overcome with the feeling that I shouldn’t be here. I’d witnessed something horribly personal—the destruction of a family. It had hurt when I’d left Roland, but at least there hadn’t been children involved. Even though they were adults, I knew this was going to be hard on the Miles kids. Shannon was right; their father had betrayed them all. Hell, even I felt betrayed, and he wasn’t my dad. But I’d worked for him for years, and I loved this family like they were my own.
My heart ached for all of them.
Roland looked over at me, and I desperately wished I knew what he was thinking. Wished I knew what to do. Did he want me to leave? Stay and help? I wondered whether I should call Brynn. But they probably wanted to. She was their sister.
His eyes held mine for a long moment. I gave a subtle nod toward the door, indicating I was going to go. They needed to have their moment. Help their mom. Roland nodded in return, whether in acknowledgment that I should leave, or in thanks, I couldn’t tell.
I slipped out the door, feeling sick to my stomach. Instead of leaving, I went upstairs to my office. I figured I’d stick around for a while in case any of them needed me. For what, I didn’t know. There wasn’t anything I could do. But it felt wrong to go home.
Plus, I knew I couldn’t be trusted to see Lawrence and not cut off his balls. Best wait until I was sure he was gone before venturing outside.
I sank down into my chair and stared at my desk, not really seeing anything. Shannon was undoubtedly heading for a divorce, and it was going to change everything. Salishan could get along for a while without someone at the helm. Roland had already done a lot to get things on track again. But he was leaving tomorrow. And what was going to happen long term? This place was Shannon’s life. It was Leo and Cooper’s life, too.
And mine, for that matter. But at the end of the day, I wasn’t a Miles.
I lost track of time as I sat in my office, contemplating what had just happened. My phone buzzed, startling me. I had a text from Cooper.
Cooper: You okay?
Me: Yeah, but are YOU?
Cooper: No. But I will be. Gonna head home in a few and blow off some steam.
Me: Where’s your mom?
Cooper: Roland got her a room at the Lodge for tonight.
Me: Does Leo know?
Cooper: Yeah. He was monitoring the security feeds to make sure Dad left.
Cooper: I offered to come over so we could drink our faces off, but he said no.
Cooper: Told me to fuck off and go home.
Cooper: He’s really very rude.
Cooper: But I don’t think he means to be.
Cooper: We all have our own ways of coping.
Me: That’s true. Did someone call Brynn?
Cooper: Mom did. She’s on her way. Going to stay with Mom at the hotel.
Me: Good. Sounds like everyone is squared away.
Cooper: Mostly.
Cooper: See u tomorrow.
Me: What do you mean mostly?
I waited, but Cooper didn’t answer. I was glad he was going home to his best friend. I knew Chase would have his back. It probably meant they’d get shit-faced tonight, but I couldn’t blame them. That was probably what I was going to do when I got home.
But why had Cooper said mostly? Had he been talking about Roland?
I wasn’t exactly the best person to offer Roland comfort. He was my ex-husband, after all. That had to be weird. We’d gotten divorced, and now his mom was facing the same thing. Albeit for very
different reasons. Roland and I had always been faithful to each other. I hadn’t even gone on a date until the divorce was final. I wasn’t going to judge anyone else for dating while they were separated, or while a divorce was going through. But it hadn’t felt right to me, so I’d waited.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was downstairs—alone. How I knew, I couldn’t be sure. He could have left. It was that sense of him I always had, like his presence had an aura I could feel. He was down there, stewing. Probably with a headache.
I opened a drawer and fished out a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Yeah, I kept a bottle of whiskey in my desk at work. Walk a mile, then judge. I grabbed a couple of plastic cups out of a cabinet and went downstairs to find Roland.
18
Roland
I sat on a stool in the empty tasting room and pinched the bridge of my nose. All was quiet—I was pretty sure everyone else had gone home. Cooper had taken Mom over to the Lodge for the night. He’d been cracking jokes to make her smile, and of course it had worked. It had been a relief to see her relax, although I knew the worst had only just begun.
My head hurt, making it hard to think. Although considering my entire family had just imploded, the headache was the least of my problems.
I couldn’t believe my fucking father. I’d known something wasn’t right, and I couldn’t help but wonder—if I’d been here, would this have come out sooner? How long had Mom ignored what she must have known to be true because she didn’t think she had a choice?
That was no way to live.
“Hey, Roland.”
I looked up at Zoe’s voice. She stood in the doorway, her head tilted. Her dark hair was down, falling in waves around her shoulders. One side of her white t-shirt was caught in the waistband of her jeans, like she’d started to tuck it in, but forgot what she was doing. When she wasn’t managing an event, she always looked so damn careless.
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