“What in the hell have you gotten yourself into,” I muttered as Jasmine’s voice rang out.
“I heard that you Australian asshole!”
“It’s South African,” Julian corrected. I chuckled as the phone was dropped, another grunt sounded and then Jasmine came on the line breathless.
“You don’t deserve her.”
“I know. But I love her, and I swear to God, I’ll do everything I can to make it right.”
“It’s probably already too late.”
“What do you mean?”
“She went back to New York. Ian… you really fucked up.”
“Too late for what?”
“Her parents own a Fifth Avenue apartment. I’ll text Steven the address, and that’s all you’re getting from me.”
“Fair enough. Thank you. Out of curiosity, what’s the situation with this guy, Steven?”
Steven opened one of his eyes across from me and sat up as if I’d thrown him a bone.
“He’s just as screwed as you for the moment.”
I chuckled again. “That bad, huh?”
“Tell her I’m coming to get her,” Steven spoke up.
“Tell him I’m being taken care of,” she shouted back. “Good luck, Ian, you’re going to need it.”
“Jasmine, I know you’re pissed, but before you go, will you just tell me if she’s okay?”
“She got her heart shattered by an asshole who knew better, is about to have her home destroyed by an act of nature, and is currently living with her mother, what do you think?”
“Jasmine, please tell me what I might be too late for?”
The line went dead, and I cringed in my seat.
Steven let out a sigh. “She’s gotten a lot tougher since I left.” I recognized a bit of a southern drawl as he spoke.
“Left? You’re the ex-fiancé who left her in St. Thomas?”
“Yep,” he said, rolling a tumbler of whiskey in his fingers. “Biggest mistake of my life.”
“Why did you do it?”
“I had my reasons. None were good enough, hence the penance she’s making me pay. I know she’s with someone else right now. I’m biding my time and sooner or later she’s going to have to hear me out.”
“So, she’s taking her revenge by making you board her friend’s house?”
“Amongst other things,” he said dryly. “It was my pleasure to do it. I’m not the total bastard she paints me to be.”
“I’m afraid I may be the bastard she’s accused me of being,” I said, taking his whiskey and tossing it back. “My apologies. I think I needed it more than you.”
He motioned for the attendant. “Don’t worry about it, man. Plenty where that came from.”
I looked down at the islands as they slowly disappeared from view and briefly wondered how the sight of it would change when I returned.
“So where can I drop you?”
“As close to Fifth Avenue in New York City as possible.”
Steven grinned. “Looks like today’s your lucky day.”
I watched the expansive darkening sea fade as we drifted through the sky. “Hope so.”
* * *
Dark clouds laced the sky as I walked toward Fifth Avenue, my thoughts as muddled as the sounds of the bustling city. We’d had a layover in Atlanta for a day and a half due to a string of storms from the approaching hurricane. I spent the night in one of Steven’s mansions. Jasmine, in her wine-induced tale of woe months ago in St. Thomas, had failed to mention that Steven owned half of the media in the southeast. I liked him well enough and he’d been kind to lend me the use of his plane to get to New York. Despite that, Julian had my loyalty. I couldn’t fault Jasmine for her indecision. Steven had a certain likability. Julian, if he had real feelings for Jasmine, was in for a fight.
Racing thoughts multiplied as Jasmine’s words had me panicking.
Too late?
For what?
Had she found someone else?
And how long had she been in New York?
I couldn’t breathe, and maybe that agony was the penance I deserved, still, the idea of seeing her had my flesh burning. Needing her wasn’t the plan all those months ago, but each of my steps was purposeful, a way back to the truth of the fact that I did. I needed her. And she had to know that I was half a man without her. I had nothing rehearsed, no great speech planned of what a screw up I was to think we could treat our time together as a fling, that it hadn’t changed my life, my dreams, me.
All thoughts slipped away as I saw her exit the building feet away from me. My wind knocked out from the mere sight of her, I scoured her from head to heels. She was dressed in a sleek black power suit, a curtain of long blonde hair shielding her face. The wind graced me by pushing it away so I could get a glimpse of her. She was painted perfectly, her eyes lined with black, her lips colored in deep red. My whole body spiked in awareness as she surveyed the street in front of her, stunning me motionless. Her head held high, she was the perfect picture of a Park Avenue princess. I’d never seen her in more than a smile and a bikini, and although it was my preference, for a moment, I was a bit intimidated by how incredible she looked. She glanced in my direction not seeing me before slipping into a waiting town car.
“Koti!” I chased after her as the car began to pull away. Months, I’d waited months to try to mend the gap between us. Fear of every color clouded my vision as did jealousy I didn’t have the right to feel. Rain started to pour from the sky as all of my hopes began to fade.
What if her heart was no longer mine?
My veins screamed at the idea as I spit out the threatening defeat. There was no greater pain in life than losing love. Koti’s own brand of affection had smashed through the brick and mortar of my resurrected heart. Rights be damned. I wanted her, she belonged to me and I to her, so much so my soul bled in that street streamlining in her direction. I managed to hail a cab just as her town car passed me.
“Follow that car, please.”
The cabbie gave me a disbelieving grin in the rearview. “Are you fucking serious, man?”
I pushed my drenched hair away from my eyes. “I’ll give you every fucking dollar in my wallet, man. Follow it!”
Taking off like a shot, I sat back in the cab as the sight of her swam in my head. Absolutely nothing about her appearance resembled the woman I fell so much in love with.
Was I too late? No, it could never be too late, no matter what the case and I was desperate enough to breach anything between us. Repaying the favor, no matter what it took, I would break down every wall she built, even if I helped to resurrect them. I would never love another woman, of that I was certain. My fate was in her hands and I would make it known. We had something time and geography couldn’t touch. Regardless of my mindset, fear scorched me everywhere making me nauseous. Seconds after the cabbie pulled up behind the town car, Koti dashed into the building as I looked up at the sign in bold letters next to the front door. C. Zanders-OBGYN.
“Hey man, is this your stop or what?”
All the blood left my face as I stared after her.
Too late?
I shoved all the promised cash into the cabbie’s glove covered hand as blood filled my ears and my heart slammed against my chest.
Confused thoughts multiplied while I caught the door and held it for a woman with a stroller. She thanked me as I waited for her to move past before I rushed down the corridor. I stopped in the lobby searching for the floor. After a trip in the elevator, I stopped outside the office door and tried to collect myself.
Was she pregnant? Half of me boiled in thoughts of betrayal at the fact that she’d hidden it from me while the other half of me begged that was the truth of it. Jasmine had been cruel with her warning and maybe I deserved the state I was in, but I couldn’t let it last a minute longer. The waiting receptionist gave me a kind smile.
“I’m here to meet Koti Vaughn. She has an appointment today.”
“And you are?”
“
Her husband?”
“Is that a question?”
I cleared my throat. “No, I’m her husband.”
She picked up a file and eyed it. “Says here she’s single.”
I swallowed as the older woman with dyed fire red hair narrowed her eyes but couldn’t contain the threatening smile on her lips.
“Is this a good story?”
“Not sure,” I said hanging my head as droplets of rain hit her desk. “But I’m begging your pardon for lying and for your mercy. In the most unromantic gesture imaginable, I’m about to barge into her appointment and demand she marry me.”
Her eyes widened. “In an OB appointment? You’re serious?”
“Quite serious, yes.”
“Love your Australian accent.”
I held my bite. “Thank you.”
“Down the hall, last door on the right, but if anyone asks you found it on your own.”
“Thanks again.”
“I hope she says yes.”
We shared a smile. “Me too.” I raced down the hall and burst through the door just as Koti sat down in a hospital gown tying it in place behind her. Shock, confusion and then anger transformed in seconds over her beautiful face.
“What in the hell are you doing here?”
I couldn’t wait a single second longer. “What in the hell are you doing here? What is this? What am I too late for?”
“Ian, you can’t be here.”
“The hell I can’t,” I said, closing the door. “Tell me what this is.”
“This is none of your damned business. Get out, I’m not decent.”
I raised a brow. “I’ve seen you in far more compromising positions with a lot less on.”
“How did you know I was here and you were too late for… Jasmine?” Without confirmation, she closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m going to kill her.”
“I just took a ride with her ex, Steven on his plane. Seems to be some unfinished business there.”
“Yeah, well she has three men madly in love with her.”
“Three?”
“Toby, the water guy is in the running too, may the best man win.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, wow. Great talking to you, can you please leave now?”
It took every bit of strength I had not to sweep her off the bed and into my arms. I loved her sass more than I should, but even in a hideously loud hospital gown with bright orange flowers, she had me at her mercy. Still, panic more than anything strangled me at the thought she could betray me in a way I could never forgive.
“Are you pregnant?”
“Knock, knock,” the doctor said, entering the room and looking at me in surprise.
“Hi there, didn’t realize she had company. I’m Dr. Zanders,” she introduced herself and I shook her hand. Koti spoke on my behalf before I could get a word out.
“He was just leaving,” Koti offered before looking pointedly at me, “now.”
I gave her a menacing smile. “Not a chance, puffer fish.”
Dr. Zanders laughed. “I thought you were single, Koti.”
“I am.”
I cut in with an answer of my own. “She’s not, I assure you.”
Koti straightened herself on the bed in an attempt to muster as much dignity as she could in her gown. “You assure wrong. This isn’t cute, Ian, you need to leave.”
“No. Fucking. Way.” I stood, my chest heaving as I looked her over. If she was pregnant, I would have to find a way to forgive her, every part of me hoped it was true, but a larger part of me was boiling mad… She wasn’t showing, at that thought my chest sank at the idea something could be wrong. I turned to the doctor who seemed to be enjoying our back and forth.
“So, this is just routine then?”
She nodded. “There’s no need to worry. Hysterectomies are very common. I perform about ten a week.”
I felt sick as I tried to swallow the threatening bile. Not pregnant. Most definitely not pregnant.
I turned to face Koti who was staring at her red painted toes. Wrong color, wrong place, wrong news. I didn’t know if anything would ever be right again.
Fighting a hundred different emotions, I spoke up to try to save face. “Dr. Zander, could you please excuse us for a moment?”
“Sure.” She made her leave as I stared at the woman who owned me and refused to look my way.
Chapter Forty
Koti
I wondered what color coffin Jasmine wanted, or if she wanted to be cremated, either way, I hoped she was enjoying her last day alive with Julian and that she’d broken her abstinence streak because she was a dead woman.
Seconds after the door closed, Ian stalked over to where I sat, pulled me to stand and grabbed the clothes I had laying over the chair and threw them on the bed toward me.
I stood arms crossed as he gathered my shoes throwing them my way as well. “This is like the opening of a bad joke. Your ex-boyfriend walks into your OB appointment. Care to tell me the punch line?”
Furious gray eyes met mine. “I’m still madly in love with you. Get dressed.”
Trying to ignore the shock at the sight of him and his words, I shook my head.
“That’s unfortunate, crocky because I’ve moved on.” He looked gorgeous in a form-fitting button-down that matched his eyes and slacks. His hair was a little longer and even more unruly and it looked dead sexy on him. He was in even better shape than when he left the island and I tried my best not to stare too long. It hurt me to see him that way. It hurt me to see him at all. But I’d done my share of mourning over the way he’d left me with no trace of his love, of us.
“Moved on?” His eyes drank me in before he moved toward me. “Sorry if I don’t believe you. And I’ve been chasing you all over to find you doing this? The surgery is not happening, get dressed.”
“Sorry, Ian, I’m not that scared woman you left bleeding in the sand anymore. Things have changed. I’ve changed.”
“Well now, that would be unfortunate, but fortunately I don’t believe you on that either.”
“This needs to happen.”
I refused to believe the genuine fear that covered his features. “Are you sick?”
Ignoring him, I shed my nightgown as his eyes greedily took in my naked form. Eat your heart out, buddy. He wasn’t the only one who’d been working out. It wasn’t a lie, things had changed, I just wasn’t sure if I was happy with all of them.
“Answer me, Koti,” he commanded. “Please.”
I sighed out my answer. “No, I’m not sick.”
“Are you at risk of anything?”
“Well… no more than usual.” Pulling my panties on, I could see desire stir in his eyes. I pretended to ignore that too.
“Then it’s not happening.”
“It is happening, tomorrow morning and you need to leave.” I moved to grab my slacks and he stopped me with a hand on my arm.
“Not a damned chance.”
I ripped myself away feigning indifference to his touch. “How about you answer some questions for me. Like, why are you here?”
“Because I came to tell you I was an idiot and I want another chance with you.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Oh, it’s happening.”
Hand on my hips, I faced him head on. “Are you taking steroids now? Who in the hell are you to tell me what’s happening?!”
“I’m the man in your life.”
“You’re the man who left me!”
“And I’ve paid for it in every imaginable way. You remember the hell I told you I didn’t believe existed? I’ve been living in it because I can’t stand life without you. And you aren’t having this surgery.”
“Ian, I’m having it. It’s what’s best for me.”
“Why?” He shook his head, calling bullshit. “Because you’re mad at me?”
“Still an egomaniac? It’s sad to see not much has changed for you. Not everything revolves around you. Endometriosis is painful
. Trust me on this.”
“And there’s a possibility the pain can lessen with childbirth.”
“Did you YouTube that fact on the way over here? Good for you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “No, I read up when I was on the island, making love to you every night and fucking you every day.”
I swallowed as he took a step toward me.
“You were holding out to have this surgery because you thought there might be a chance for a family someday. You endured the pain because you were hoping for a child. Tell me that’s not the truth.” I stayed mute as his furious eyes bore into mine, his jaw clenched. “If I thought for one second this is what you really wanted, I would walk away, but it isn’t. You don’t want this surgery. You want to have babies, in St. Thomas, my babies. Now finish dressing, damnit, I’m here to take you home.”
“There is no home.” I pulled on my blouse and started tugging on the buttons, fighting my tears I turned away from him. “It’s gone, both of our houses.”
“What?”
I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Jasmine just called to let me know Banion’s okay. He can’t even get to our street. It’s all gone. St. Thomas is in shambles.”
His face paled. “Thank Christ you weren’t there when it hit. But it’s still our home.”
I smiled ironically. “No, that was never my home.”
The doctor poked her head in the door. “Koti, I have another appointment and we didn’t really need an exam today. This visit was more for Q & A, so if you have any question feel free to call me on my cell. You can grab it at the receptionist’s desk. Good to meet you…”
“Ian,” he offered, his tone ice.
“Good to meet you, Ian.”
“She’s not having the surgery,” he said matter-of-fact, “but we appreciate your time. Nice to meet you as well.”
Dr. Zander smiled at me, her eyes alight with mischief. She was enjoying the volley between us far too much.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I told her. “I’m sorry about this.”
“She won’t be here,” Ian said, fuming as he glared at me across the bed.
The Dr. spoke up with a smile on her face. “I’ll wait for your call, Koti.”
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