“He found us.” Mat took her hand when she laid it on his chest and brought it to his lips. “We need to brief Alchan, then we’ll go home.”
“Good. Um…” She turned back to her king. She knew he was about to lay down a judgment. For two-and-a-half weeks, she had been working with a group of warriors, including Kian and Emerian, preparing for their new mission. They were going to blow a mountain and send rocks down on an Elvasi camp, one of the largest. If it worked, Alchan was going to send out three more missions at the same time.
“You’ve been preparing since Bryn left,” Alchan said softly. “One night, then I have to send you and the unit out. We don’t have a lot of time. Mat, Zayden, we can debrief right here, right now, then you can go home and spend the night with Mave. I’m sorry you don’t get much time together, but autumn is coming upon us, and we need to make a move. Summer was a shitshow.”
She stepped aside as Luykas joined their group. Nevyn and Varon stayed as well. Soon, the entire Company was listening to what had happened. The moment Mat and Zayden were done, Bryn started explaining what happened when he went out to look for them, explaining how he ended up getting back late. Alchan forgave him immediately, and it wasn’t mentioned for the rest of the conversation. The best news came out of Nevyn and Varon, who led a wildly successful but small mission. Alchan gave them news in return. Of the missions that had gone out, only three returned, Mat and Zayden’s team included. They were now down just over a thousand Andinna since the beginning of summer.
“And on that somber note, you’re all dismissed. Unless you’re leaving at dawn, meet me in the war room by midday for the next stage of planning. We need to prep the next missions with full training exercises before they get back, so you can leave immediately on their return. I’m sorry to say it, but we’ll probably run missions through winter. We’re not slowing down any time soon.”
Everyone nodded, and Mave dragged all four of her husbands home. Emerian followed them, coming inside to start making dinner. Zayden grumbled at his actions but allowed it.
“You both look half-starved,” she complained as she helped in the kitchen. “Thank you, Emerian.”
Her nemari only nodded and continued what he was doing.
“It wasn’t an easy mission. So, you have to leave tomorrow. What’s the plan?” Mat was disappointed, but she planned on fixing that once they were alone. They might only have one night, but she wasn’t going to let it go to waste. They just needed food first.
“We’re blowing a mountain onto a camp,” she answered. “Kian knows most of the technicalities. He’s done it before. The Hornbuckle family made their blasting agent they use in the mines.”
“And we heard about Seanev,” Zayden said softly. “Are you okay?”
“We’re fine,” she answered tersely. Her brother was a shut-in, trying to come to terms with his loss. He’d had just enough energy and willpower to get his remaining warriors to the village, then shut down on everyone. “I’m fine, and he’s going to be. If he’s not by the time I get back, I’ll beat him into being fine.” She didn’t mean to say those words as seriously as she had, but when she looked up, she was met with four shocked and concerned male faces. “Not literally. I don’t want him wallowing. We all know how bad that can be.”
Mave felt weirdly frantic as she chopped vegetables Emerian put in front of her. Once everything was cooking, she helped her husbands get out of their boots and armor, something they could normally do on their own. She just wanted to touch them. She wasn’t going to be able to savor it. She needed to take every chance she could to have the physical contact she wanted with them.
“Emerian is going on the mission,” she reminded them. “It’ll be his first.”
“It’s a big mission for a first-timer, but I believe in him,” Luykas said, looking over her head and winking. “Mutt to mutt, you’ve got this.”
“Thank you, sir,” Emerian said, putting plates on the table. “The food is ready, so I’m going to step out and head home. Trevan and Dave should be back.”
“Get a good night’s sleep,” she called after him. He nodded sheepishly, suddenly acting more like the boy he seemed to be at the beginning of summer. Much of that had worn off over the summer as he followed her around and became entrenched, helping her at every turn. It was somewhat cute that he slipped back to it just for a moment.
He takes his duties to me seriously. I’m fucking honored to have him.
Once he was gone and her males were nearly nude, she felt better. She slowed down for just a moment to eat.
“It’s going to be okay,” Mat whispered. “We promised you we would come back. We’ll always come back.”
“But I have to leave again so soon,” she whispered. She regretted all those moments when she got pissed at Alchan for not sending her out. She might have missed them returning home, not that she really understood why Alchan had made her wait. She would be able to leave without them weighing over her. They were all home, and they were all safe.
“I want you to give us the same promise,” Mat continued. “To all four of us. You promise to come home, okay? The Elvasi have tricks up their sleeves, and the game is changing. We were chased all over the damn Dragon Spine on the way home. If you need to walk away from a fight to come home to us, do it.”
She listened, and once he was done, she looked around her table. Bryn, Zayden, and Luykas didn’t seem all that surprised by Mat’s request. Maybe they had planned it, but she didn’t think so. They had become a unit around her, but in reality, they had always been a unit—four members of the Ivory Shadows, ready to band together to get done what needed to get done.
“I promise to come home. Eat, and let’s enjoy our only night together,” she ordered, tapping the table.
The plates cleared quickly. She spent that evening wrapped up in too many limbs, her body exhausted by the time they were done saying hello and goodbye once again.
Mave was on her horse the next day, ready to leave. Emerian sat next to her on a gelding, while Kian was wrangling a stubborn stallion. Around them, another twelve warriors, their entire unit. Kian and Mave were in charge, but she deferred to her father. He had real experience with this specific type of mission.
They were due to leave as dawn was just beginning to brighten the horizon. Mave had a pleasant soreness she knew would fade and turn into a less pleasant one by the end of the day, but at the moment, she enjoyed it. She smiled at her four husbands as they waited for everyone to ride out.
The one onlooker who surprised her was Leshaun, who walked up to her.
“You better come back and finish your training before I leave,” he ordered, patting her thigh. “We’ve only gotten through two of the three rituals you wanted to learn.”
“I will, I will,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “Thank you, though. I very much appreciated the knowledge. I’ll come back and finish up my studies just for you. That way, you can retire in peace, knowing you finally wrangled me and my bad blood magic ways.”
He slapped her knee for that but smiled. She hadn’t told anyone what Leshaun taught her. This was Emerian’s first mission. She wanted to know how to do the tatua ritual for him like Mat had done for her. She didn’t much care what Alchan or Luykas thought about that and had no intention of telling either of them before she did it. She was his warrior, and he was her nemari. It was going to be her decision, and she figured his first mission was just the trial by fire, he deserved to get his first tatua. There would be more in the future, of course, but this was the perfect way to finally make him a full adult Andinna and end his transition into the culture of their people.
After Leshaun was gone, Alchan walked up to her.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get more time,” he said softly. “Ride fast, fight well, and get back to us before we even realize you’re gone.”
“Are you saying you’re going to miss me, Alchan Andini?” Mave gasped. The king gave her a tight smile.
“Don’t say that too loud, but
yes. I’m going to miss your particular brand of bloodthirst while you’re gone. Everyone else tries to keep me from going too far. You remind me that sometimes we have to.”
She grinned. She did have her own particular brand of bloodthirst. She liked that.
“Be safe, brother,” she said, reaching. He grabbed her hand and squeezed.
“You be safe, sister. You’re the one going on the mission.” He backed away and nodded his head respectfully.
She turned her horse around and nodded to Kian. Senri backed away from her husband, waving at her, a mother saying goodbye to her daughter. Mave couldn’t take a moment to talk to her, but they had spent time together just the day before. Senri and Mave had known the mission could start at any moment.
Together, Mave and Kian kicked their horses into action, their warriors following them as they rode south out of the village. Andinna moved out of the way, waving and cheering as they rode hard, refusing to slow down.
They needed to cover a vast distance as fast as they could. The Andinna needed them to come back swiftly with good news. They rode nonstop the entire first day but slowed to a walk once they were out of the valley, so they didn’t burn out the horses.
“Well, that was a fucking exit,” Kian commented, looking back. “Any reason for that?”
“I didn’t want to look back,” she answered. “You know how it is. Get out as fast as possible, or you’ll want to turn around.”
“I’m sorry you only had one night with them,” her father said softly. “You’ll come back and have loads of time with them. They obviously need to recover, so maybe Alchan will keep them off missions until you’re ready to go on another. That way, all three of you can go out together, and this won’t be a problem.”
“Yeah, the timing was bad the last couple of seasons,” she complained. “I was away in spring, then they were away most of the summer. Now, we’re going to be gone for at least a third of autumn. We’ll be running missions all winter since our initial plans didn’t work out nearly the way we wanted them to.”
“Small missions over the winter are easier than campaigns, though. It’s what we have, and we can get good work done,” Kian pointed out. “I know it’s hard, but we’re at war, Mave. Lothen was child’s play compared to Shadra. She sent him out here to cut his teeth, and we told them to fuck off. We knew she would swing hard the first moment she got the chance.”
“We didn’t expect it this fast,” Mave whispered. “So, yeah, I want us to keep moving. We can’t ruin the horses, but I want us sleeping light and moving fast. I want to hit this bitch, then go home.”
“And we’re going to,” he said, moving his horse close to hers just to elbow her in the side.
They rode all day and into the night. They didn’t go quickly, but the steady slow pace was better for the horses and for them. Once the red moon was above them, Kian made the call.
“Let’s stop here and camp until dawn. Bedrolls and sleep. No fires.”
The warriors worked quietly and laid down. Mave found herself between Kian and Emerian but couldn’t sleep. Apparently, neither could Kian. Once everyone was softly snoring around them, he rolled onto his side and stared at her.
“Since we’re on a mission without them, I wanted to ask you about Nevyn and Varon.”
Mave sighed. “We’re talking again.”
“They’ve been on a mission for half of the summer. Don’t tell me everything is all better,” he growled softly. “He’s my best friend. I just wanted to understand what’s happening.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” she said softly.
“How about the secret you’re so desperate to keep?” he pressed. “Just me. I won’t tell them, but you know every time they get frustrated with your silence about the weird stuff going on with you, I get worried. I don’t like hearing about or seeing the weird things going on with you. I was there for the spring campaign. Mave…I’m your father, not only in name. We bonded in the eyes of the gods. I am your father. Would you at least tell me?”
“Have you been waiting to get me on a mission to ask about this?” she demanded, turning on him, tearing her eyes away from the moon.
“Yes,” he admitted honestly.
“Well…” Mave swallowed. She thought about it, then sat up. She couldn’t wait until they were in enemy territory, where it wouldn’t be safe to have a private conversation. She was also just tired of the secret, so damn tired of people asking her for the secret, and tired of being too scared to tell them. If anyone would treat her like she wasn’t insane, it was Kian. That’s what she hoped at least. “Let’s step away from the group. I can go a night without sleep. You?”
He was up and following her, nodding quickly. “Why are we leaving? Are you worried one of them will hear?”
“Yes,” she answered honestly. They didn’t go too far, but Mave wanted to make sure they were out of earshot before she sat down and leaned on a tree. She could hear a stream in the area, not an uncommon sound. There were thousands around these mountains, always fed by the melting snowcaps on the peaks of the tallest mountains and springs that burst out of the earth.
Kian sat next to her, confusion apparent on his face. “Mave?”
“Don’t call me crazy,” she ordered, then turned it into a plea. “Please. Please, don’t call me crazy.”
“I would never—”
“I dream of Kristanya,” she said, a weight being lifted off her chest the moment the words came out of her mouth. In a single moment, she realized it wasn’t Kristanya keeping her silent. It had been her own fear, her own beliefs. She didn’t have any respect for the gods. She had once cast them aside, and now, she had to reclaim them, especially her.
Kian’s eyes went wide, and Mave took a deep breath.
“I dream of sparring with her. We talk sometimes, and she gives me advice. She…touched me, and these tatua were there when I woke up,” she whispered, lifting her arm to remind him of the tatua that went down to her elbows and across her back. “That’s how I’ve been getting better.”
There was a long silence.
“You think I’m crazy,” she said, sighing as she rubbed her face and looked away from him. “I fucking knew everyone would—”
“No,” he said quickly. “No, Mave, I don’t think you’re crazy at all,” Kian said softly. “I think you’re blessed to have the attention of a goddess, who must see some of herself in you.”
“How can you think that?” Mave snapped. “I dream of a goddess! Are the gods even real?”
“You know they are.” Kian gave her a flat stare. “Varon and Nevyn’s story? It’s true, Mave. Varon offered his life up to Amonora if he could be with the male he loved, and she went to him in his dream. She gave him his sight in exchange for his voice. That really happened,” he huffed, running a hand through his hair. “There’s always been rumors of the queen being gifted visions by Lariana, the leader of our pantheon and the patron goddess of that family. The dragons visiting us in our dreams isn’t something new you’ve stumbled on. That’s why I don’t think you’re crazy. It’s a crazy thing to be happening because it’s a fucking honor, and something deeper must be happening, but I don’t think you’re crazy.”
“You think the dreams are real,” Mave said, amazed. Half the time, Mave didn’t want to believe they were.
“I’m almost certain they are.” He looked down at his hands and huffed, his eyes wide. “My daughter dreams of Kristanya. How the hell am I going to get any sleep tonight, knowing that?”
“The same way I do?” Mave smirked. “Just deal with it?”
He laughed softly, looking up at her again. “For how long?”
“Since we came to Anden,” Mave admitted. “Before your family adopted me. Before we knew about Seanev.”
“Oh, wow,” he whispered. He reached out and touched her cheek. “And you, seeing visions of a goddess, still decided I was a worthy male to pick as a father.”
“Goddess or no goddess, you and Senri are some o
f the best people who have entered my life,” Mave told him with a smile. “Let’s get back. I’m going to try to get some sleep.”
“And leave me with this new information and no way to process it?” Kian sputtered.
“I’ll tell you more tomorrow night,” she promised. “And who knows? Maybe I’m due for a dream with her? She bothers me pretty often.”
Finding her bed again, she was able to quickly relax, her chest feeling lighter than it had in months. All it took was exposing her deepest secret on a whim to make it happen. When she finally slept, she slept deeply.
26
Lilliana
Lilliana couldn’t ignore the shifting mood of the village any more than she could deny what she was. When she arrived, there had been jubilation. Victories were fresh and exciting for the Andinna, who lived around the king. The market was booming and bright. Everyone was happy and basking in the glory of their warriors, who fought hard and won great battles for them.
A week after the Champion left on her mission, it wasn’t the same. It had started small, only the leaders of the rebellion growing darker as time went on. With the return of Seanev, the entire village had been cast under a dark shadow. They were still trying. The perseverance of the Andinna was still winning out in the hearts of the Andinna, but it wasn’t the same. And more bad news was coming in all the time. Today, she found herself listening to more.
“The supplies didn’t show up on time,” Dave, the human, explained to Alchan at the dining table. Lilliana could see them from the kitchen, where she was making tea as she did several times a day for a variety of reasons.
Dave was an interesting man. He didn’t really fear Alchan the way many did. Maybe it was because he was human or because he was so confident in his goodness. He was good, from what Lilliana had seen of him.
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