“He doesn’t want her to go pray at it,” Alchan snarled. “He wants her to climb it, but I’m still trying to reason out why.”
Luykas’ stomach twisted, and he got up to get a drink, hoping to settle it. He didn’t like that. Oh, no, his wife was not going to climb that fucking thing. He would die before he let her get on a horse to go in that general direction.
“Simple. She and Kristanya have some sort of connection. It’s been around longer than we’ve known about her, probably longer than they have known about it. I think she needs to…confront it. It could be…life-changing for everyone.”
“You know she could die,” Alchan said, his hot temper fully ignited now. “You know it!”
“Yes. I also know you could die. I also knew I could die the night I offered my very soul to my goddess in exchange for the chance to love Nevyn for a little while longer and to be with him. Every time a new queen sits on the throne, there is a chance she will be found unworthy, and she will die. This is the risk we take. We are Andinna, a warrior people who don’t fear death. We laugh at it and see how long we can out-fly it. Don’t yell at me about the risks, Alchan. I know them!”
Luykas had never heard or seen Varon get really angry before, but he was certainly heated in this conversation.
“Get out of my house,” Alchan snarled.
“Alchan—” Varon tried, but Luykas knew this battle was lost.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” the king roared.
Varon stiffened. It was as though a rush of power went through the room, and Nevyn groaned, leaning over. Varon helped him stand with the gentleness they all knew him for, but there was no mistaking the anger in the Avatar’s eyes. They left Alchan and Luykas in that room, Varon making a point to slam the door hard enough the hinges broke.
“Fucker,” Alchan snarled. “And he’s the Skies damned Avatar of Amonora, so I can’t even fucking do anything about it.”
“Why?” Luykas asked softly.
“He’s my equal rank,” Alchan muttered bitterly. “He’s actually outside the ranking altogether. He would answer to me if…” His brother growled again. “Avatars answer to Avatars, which I am not. He’s never had to follow my orders for a fucking day in his life, and he knows it. He knows I know it. And he broke my fucking door!” Alchan was roaring again at the end.
Luykas slowly stood. “I’ll fix the door, brother.”
“You know I can’t, right? If I thought it was a good idea or a safe one, I would have done it a thousand years ago. To have that power would certainly win us the war, but if I die, there’s no chance of anyone claiming it again.”
“I know,” Luykas said gently. He had to be careful. His brother hated being angry like this, but it happened on rare occasions. This was one of the dark sides of the bedru nature—the deep, unsettling rage that had consumed their father and made him to be a monster. Luykas was fortunate he was free of this particular curse. He had dominance and some anger in him when he needed it, but he never went into this.
When Luykas was done fixing the door, he closed his brother in. He stopped Rain and Lilliana from going inside.
“You should come spend some time at my home,” he whispered to them. “Even you, Rain. He needs some time.”
“What happened?” the little female asked softly.
“Nothing we can do anything about,” Luykas answered sadly as he led them away from the fiery rage inside that door.
33
Mave
Mave spent the next day in bed. While she was there, she finally read Varon’s words. She was becoming more curious by the moment, staring at them where her husbands had placed them, unopened and unread. She was glad they weren’t nosy.
Part of her was afraid. She and Varon never connected, not really. He was a quiet male who talked of things she didn’t much care about, not until recently—gods and goddesses, dragons, prayer, faith, belief. Things Mave had tried to give up years ago, even before she knew the names of the dragons. She couldn’t really do that anymore. They were real, real enough to reach out to her and haunt her dreams and make her great.
And fill her with false hope.
She grabbed the letters, facing the fear, and opened them. Pages. There were pages. Because of the Andinna style of writing, in glyphs from top to bottom, it took pages for him to write down what he wanted to say to her.
Mave,
You might be curious why I would write to you. We’ve never been particularly close, only bonded by our shared time as warriors in the Ivory Shadows. I represent something we both know you would rather avoid. Nevyn told me of your reaction to the story of him and me. I can’t say I blame you.
But Kian is gone, and we are losing this war, so I felt the need to write to you to best articulate my thoughts. It really is much easier than trying to sign a conversation, which is what I must do with your blasted brother. He’s going to fight me, but that’s not the point of this letter. You and I must clear the air. We’ll talk about Kian first.
He loved you. I’m sure everyone has told you, but let me make it very clear. From nearly the very beginning, he and Senri looked at you and saw a daughter they were never blessed to have. They opened their hearts to you and you accepted them, even before you realized. Kian was always a wild man who made bold, brash decisions. He enjoyed roaming, but his greatest regret was knowing his son died on the battlefield, and he hadn’t been there to stop it. Please, accept that he went happily into the afterlife, knowing you were taken care of. He could finally right the regrets of his past, and he loved you. He loved you so much.
I would know, and how I know leads to the second part of this letter. It’s rather complicated. I’m certain no one has ever told you about Andinna like me. Very rarely, an Andinna is chosen by one of our goddesses to become an Avatar of their power on the mortal plane. When I tried to give everything to stay with Nevyn, Amonora chose me to be her Avatar. So, when I say that I knew Kian loved you, I don’t just believe he did. I truly knew.
Mave took several harsh breaths, her eyes wide.
An Avatar? What?
You thought we would think you were crazy for dreaming of Kristanya. You aren’t. I dream of Amonora, and I have for centuries, even thousands of years. She is my guiding light, my patron goddess, and I’m her Avatar, her mortal representative, holder of a small portion of her power. Ah, that was much easier than I thought it would be. Now you know my secret. I have great abilities given to me by my goddess, but sadly, none of them are for war.
You, on the other hand, have the opportunity to do something no one else has ever done. I’ve heard many tales of our gods over my lifetime. I keep an ear open for them. But never in all my time have I ever heard of a warrior being given tatua and training from the goddess Kristanya. Until you. What I am going to ask of you is dangerous. You could, and most likely will, die.
I want you to go to a place many Andinna call the Mountain, and I want you to climb it. It’s the tallest mountain in Anden and the home of a grand temple, dedicated to all of our dragon gods. Thousands have attempted the climb over the ages, and only a handful have come back down. It’s said if one wants to meet the gods, one must climb, but those who reached the summit and came back have never left a written account of it.
I hope you climb it and you meet them. I hope you look Kristanya in the eye and confront the goddess you have danced with for centuries and convince her to make you her Avatar.
What I ask has never been done before. There has never been an Avatar of Kristanya, but I think if there will ever be one, it will be you. She took a special interest in you centuries ago. How she has impacted your life since you were young is something you must ask her. I know some things, but not all of them, nor the truth of her reasons, for I speak to Amonora, not Kristanya. The sisters don’t share everything. You understand how siblings can be, I’m sure. Your brother is a nightmare to deal with some days.
Destiny is not a belief of the Andinna. We have paths to walk, and sometimes, we can see the
m clearly, while others are shadowed in darkness. There are branching paths as well, ways we can change our course and the events of our future. These are the most important decisions we will ever make. I believe you have been set on this path for longer than you and I have known each other, but it is a dark one, unseeable to those afraid to look for it. You are at a crossroads in a sense. You have the choice to hunt down this path or continue on the one you have.
Kian wasn’t the only person who loved you. Nevyn and I do as well. We’ve worried about you for the last year, wondering what path you were walking, but it’s clear now. I love you enough to say you don’t have to do this, and no one would be angry with you if you didn’t. I would love to see you settle down and be happy with your husbands, with no more battles to fight and no more loss in your future.
But I love the Andinna people enough to ask it of you.
Please, take this risk. For our people. For our future.
Change our course. Find a new path.
With love,
Varon
Mave put the pages down, her heart pounding. She had been groggy when she started reading, but now, she was wide awake. Her husbands weren’t around, so she tried to get up. She was allowed to move around because her wing was carefully bound, but it still ached. She fumbled and fought to get clothing on, only managing her breeches. She grabbed a top and stumbled out of the room, her mind spinning.
A new path. This was a chance at a new path.
She also had hundreds of questions. Avatars. Power like that would be unimaginable. It could swing the tide of the war. Why had no one ever mentioned it to her earlier?
Her first thought was to find Nevyn and Varon. As she made her way into the main room, she found Zayden humming in the kitchen.
“I need Nevyn and Varon,” she demanded as he looked up, and his eyes went wide.
“You should be in bed,” he growled.
“No, I need Nevyn and Varon.”
“Emerian, come get your warrior!” Zayden yelled, glaring at her.
She snarled. She had forgotten he lived in their home now. She hadn’t seen him since he picked her up off the forest floor.
The male walked out of the secondary bedroom, yawning. When he saw her, he narrowed his eye. He wore a patch over the ruined second, and most of the scar was still visible. He didn’t seem to notice her nudity.
“Zayden, help me put this on and let me go and find Nevyn and Varon,” she ordered, holding out the top, a soft fabric wrap, in one hand. She was still holding the letter in the other.
“Why?” he snapped, walking out of the kitchen and coming toward her. “Why should I let you go out there and beat yourself up?”
“Because the healer didn’t say I needed fucking bed rest. I need to see Nevyn and Varon!” she growled. “He’s a priest, and I dream of a goddess. I think I have the fucking right to get his counsel.”
That made Zayden step back and deflate. He grabbed the top, obviously unhappy, and quickly helped her dress.
“Read these. You’ll understand,” she said, slamming the letters onto the table.
“Emerian, shadow your warrior as you should,” her husband ordered in a whisper as she walked toward the door.
“On it.”
As she left, he was right behind her. She had no idea if it was okay for Zayden to read that letter, but she felt better with him understanding, instead of her just throwing what seemed to be a tantrum. She ignored Emerian as they walked until she realized he was useful.
“Can you fly up and check their home?” she asked, looking up the cliff.
“I can.” He jumped and took to the air.
That was when it hit her. Varon had mentioned her brother. She had thought he meant Seanev and had ignored it. Why would he tell Seanev anything about his state as this Avatar thing?
Standing alone, she realized he didn’t mean Seanev at all.
He meant Alchan.
She didn’t wait for Emerian to come back. She started jogging for Alchan’s home, bursting through the door. She found the little ahren in the kitchen.
“Where’s Alchan?” she asked frantically. Lady Lilliana stared at her wide-eyed and terrified.
“War room,” she whispered.
“Thank you.”
Mave was gone as fast as she came, running out. She made no attempt to slow down, even as the running made her wing hurt more with every step. Shoving the door open, she scrambled into the war room, ignoring everyone there. She saw Alchan at his usual spot, head of the map table, looking over everything.
He looked up slowly as everyone else seemed much more surprised by her visit.
“What do you need?” he asked, wary for some reason.
“To talk to you. About…” She swallowed and looked around.
“You read his damn letter, didn’t you?” Alchan growled. “Is that what this is about? Varon’s fucking stupid idea?”
“Yes.”
“Wait, the priest has an idea, and you haven’t brought it to the table? We’re losing. We need every plan we can come up with!” Kenav snapped. Both Mave and Alchan growled at him.
“It has nothing to do with our forces. It’s something else entirely and doesn’t concern anyone here except Mave and me.”
“Oh.” Kenav stepped back, lifting his hands.
“Let’s go talk in my home,” Alchan ordered, pointing at her. “Everyone, we’ll reconvene tomorrow. This is going to be a long argument between me and my Champion.”
They left together, leaving Alchan’s advisors standing in shock.
“That didn’t sound good. I should have phrased it differently,” Alchan muttered. “They’re going to think we’re fucking now.”
“I caught that, but they can keep their rumors. It’s never going to happen,” Mave said simply, shaking her head.
“You’re right. It’s not. I can’t stand you on the best of days. They’re hoping I produce an heir this spring. They think it’s the only hope…Sadly, they might be right.”
Mave didn’t answer that because it wasn’t true. She had a way now. Varon gave her one.
If I had told him about the dreams, would I have learned earlier? Could I have avoided Kian’s death? Could I still feel worthy of the trust Alchan puts in me as his Champion?
When they entered Alchan’s home, they found Emerian there with Nevyn and Varon.
“Shit,” she said softly as Alchan snarled at the three of them. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“Neither of you is allowed in my home,” Alchan snapped at the couple. “Get the fuck out.”
Varon’s hands started moving very slowly as if he was scared of risking Alchan’s temper after being clearly thrown out.
“Mave, did you read the letter?”
“Yes,” she confirmed.
Varon nodded, then led Nevyn out. Emerian stayed.
“Go watch the door,” Mave ordered him. He nodded and left, as well.
“Lady Lilliana? Rain?” Alchan called. “I need the house clear for a moment!”
Both of them showed up from the back room, looked between them, and decided it was best to do as Alchan asked. Rain did stop to kiss his husband’s cheek. Mave waved as they left.
Finally alone, Mave turned on her king.
“I want to climb the Mountain and beseech Kristanya to make me her Avatar.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” Alchan muttered, glaring at her. “You don’t know what Varon has asked you to do, and I hate him for putting this insane idea in your head. I should have taken that letter while you slept and burned it.”
“So, he did tell you,” Mave said, nodding, glad she had guessed right. “Why did he tell you?”
“He wants me to do something I can’t,” Alchan said softly, sitting down. “No matter how much I want to, I don’t know if it would help anything.”
“What is it?”
“Become the Avatar of Lariana like the queens who have ruled before me. Every one of them had that
power behind them. No males, though. It’s a role only for the true female descendants of Lariana. Her natural-born daughters. I’m her natural-born son. She’ll kill me if I try, and she has killed previous sons of her bloodline before for being so arrogant that they felt they were worthy.” He shook his head. “Powers unimaginable lie in the hands of our queens. She is so dominant, one can only meet her eyes if she allows it. Very few are even remotely strong enough to do it without her permission, then they bend on her command, anyway. She’s not just the ruler of the Andinna, she is the ruler of Anden. Lariana created both the Andinna and the wyverns. Her daughters rule them both. That was how my grandmother stopped the initial invasion of the Elvasi, you know. No one speaks of it, unable to believe it truly happened, but my grandmother called the wyverns to war. It nearly killed her, and she was an elderly woman. She could never do it again. Lariana will never give that power to a male. The goddesses of our pantheon are particular. She wants daughters, and there are none right now.”
“But I think you’re worthy. Look at everything you’ve done for our people. You could try! Make her see reason. Kristanya told me she was not infallible. I’m certain none of them are. They’re riding the same winds we are. If the options are giving power to us or letting the Andinna die out, I’m sure they’ll understand!” On one hand, Mave was elated. Alchan also could get stronger. He could become the king he was meant to be. Between them, they might win. There was a chance they could make a new path.
On the other hand, she knew he wouldn’t. Alchan made it very clear in the way he explained it. Females could gain the power of his family, not males, and he would not try.
My king would do it. My king would do whatever is necessary to save his people.
“Let’s get to your part because I’m decided. I’m not going to test the will of Lariana. I can do more while I’m alive than I can when I’m dead.” He spoke with finality, and it killed something in Mave. “Kristanya has never named an Avatar, and she will probably kill you for even asking. She’s always been a goddess legendary for her temper. She’s considered the strongest by those well versed in our pantheon. Lariana only barely keeps her in line in my opinion, though most people disagree with me about that. A mortal asking for a piece of her power?” He laughed, more bitter than she had ever heard it. “I don’t care what relationship you have with her, she will probably kill you.”
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