“You’re not,” Alchan said gently, grabbing his brother at the back of his head and pulling him close, so they could stare each other in the eyes and talk quietly. “You are staying here and ruling in my place. You’re the only one I trust to do that. You will do everything you can to catch and put an end to this spy. I’m going to ask Nevyn and Varon to support you.”
“You’re serious,” Luykas whispered, shaking his head. “I can’t…leave you or her to…”
“This is not a suggestion. This is an order. If we die, I need to know the brother I trained beside can at least try to save our people before it’s too late. I need that reassurance. I’m sure Mave will understand.”
“Yeah,” Luykas snorted. “She’s totally fine going with none of us. She’s on a literal warpath to get ready to leave the moment the healers allow her.”
“I know.” He had seen her and watched her since their argument. “Will you stay?”
“I’ll stay,” Luykas promised. He turned to see his fellow husbands, and Alchan’s eyes followed. Mat, Zayden, and Bryn openly watched them. Alchan knew he needed to say something to them, but he had been really hoping to find Mave. Luykas stopped him when he tried to move. “Mave told them. Just so you know. Mave told those three. They haven’t told anyone, but they know exactly what is going on right now.”
Alchan nodded, accepting it. He wouldn’t be angry with them or with Mave. She had the right to tell her husbands whatever she saw fit, and he had told her about the royal family. He walked up to the males slowly, putting his hands in his pockets. This didn’t need to be formal.
“Can you pack for three more? Rain and Lilliana will come to help.” He saw them go through various levels of shock.
“We can do that,” Mat said, regaining his composure first. “She’s at home, packing her things.”
“Thank you. You might want to get a second wagon or cart,” Alchan suggested before he walked away.
“We will,” Zayden called.
Alchan went directly to her. Outside her door, Nevyn and Varon stood like guards, an odd sight.
“Are you here to finally stop her?” Nevyn asked, narrowing his eyes at the king. “Because we’ll stop you before you get inside. Her mind is made.”
“No, I’m here to tell her I’m going. For her. For you both. For our people,” Alchan answered.
The lovers stepped out of the way and let him pass. Emerian was inside, but he must have heard because he stepped to the side as well.
Alchan found her in her bedroom, fussing over trunks.
“This better be enough for you,” he said softly. “Because it’s the last thing I may ever do.”
She looked up slowly and nodded.
“It’s enough. Thank you, brother. It’ll be nice to have a quiet journey on the road with you. It’s been a while.”
His body lost tension. That was all he needed to hear.
“I need to get ready. I only have three days.”
“That’s right,” she said, chuckling. “I knew you would come around.”
“Thank you for believing in me more than I believed in myself,” he said softly.
He was going to need her belief. He was certain she was the only one who truly did. Now, he just needed to make sure he could keep the belief in himself.
I am worthy, and there is no god or goddess who can tell me otherwise.
35
Trevan
Trevan stood to the side, watching the two wagons get their finishing touches. He’d been asked to stop by in the middle of the night but told they didn’t need his help. He was there to see them off, to stand as a witness to the beginning of this journey. He had already said his goodbyes to most of them, including Mave.
They’re leaving today. I can’t believe it. I didn’t know the Andinna put so much stock in their gods, they would take…quests like this. It’s…moving, really. The Elvasi don’t give a damn about their gods unless it’s a good chance to have a party.
Emerian had explained very rough details to him. Trevan remembered the mutt’s face. He didn’t like it at all, but he respected it. Trevan couldn’t help but feel the same. Trevan watched Andinna he knew well, continue their silent duty as that very mutt walked up beside him.
“So, you’re going,” Trevan said softly. “Leaving me and Dave here to fend for ourselves.”
Emerian chuckled. “It’s not like you two are going to get into any trouble, but yeah. I need to go with them. It’s something I think I have to do.”
“Good luck, my friend,” Trevan said with a smile, turning to face the mutt. The twisted scar changed the male’s face and broke the Elvasi features in just the right way. Now, Emerian looked more like an Andinna than he ever had. The pointed ears were still purely Elvasi, his coloration was as well, but now, Trevan knew his friend had finished the transition from wayward mutt to someone right at home in the wilds of Anden.
It’s been an honor, watching his journey. I hope he gets whatever he’s still hunting for.
“It’s just that…” Emerian groaned, and Trevan still saw a little bit of that sheepish, confused male. It was heartening to know that fateful and failed mission hadn’t totally destroyed who Emerian was. He was just different now, and he took the world more seriously, but he still had some of his old self there. “I swore on my life, you know? I told him I would get her home, and now she’s leaving again. My job isn’t done, and…I don’t think it will ever be done, you know? There’s something…”
“Emerian, who are you loyal to?” Trevan asked, smiling.
“Her,” the mutt answered so quickly, there probably wasn’t any thought process behind it.
“Then you are doing exactly what you should be doing,” he promised.
You’re doing what I wish I could, but I’m not Andinna. This isn’t a journey available to me. I’ll always be an outsider looking in, no matter how much I try to understand and fit in.
“Thank you,” Emerian said, bowing his head. “It means…so much to me to hear you say that.”
Trevan hugged him, squeezing as the mutt returned the gesture of affection.
“This got sentimental,” someone said with a cough. “Can I interrupt?”
Trevan released the mutt and turned to see another one.
“Hello, Luykas. Emerian and I were just pondering how far he’s come since we met.”
“I heard. I didn’t want to interrupt. He gets to leave on this crazy mission, while you and I have to find a spy. We’ll have fun.” Luykas grinned, obviously trying to cover up deeper feelings. “Emerian, it’s time for you to get over there and jump on.”
“Goodbye,” Trevan said, patting his friend on the shoulder.
“See you later,” Emerian retorted with a smile that did nothing to soften the harshness of his scar. He ran for the wagons, helping Mat with a box before they both got into the back.
“Why are they leaving in the dead of night?” Trevan had to ask.
“Some are unhappy with this, but really, we just didn’t want fanfare. This is a personal journey for Mave and Alchan. They didn’t want it,” Luykas explained. “Have you said goodbye to those you wanted to say goodbye to?”
“Emerian was the last,” Trevan whispered.
“Good.” Luykas stepped forward. “Good luck on your travels,” he said loudly to the warriors ready to leave. “Come back to us in one piece and help us win this war. We’ll be waiting for you.”
Alchan was driving one cart and clicked his tongue for the horses to move, with Bryn following behind him. With Luykas beside him, Trevan watched the warriors leave into the night. After they disappeared from sight, Luykas turned to him.
“Thank you. You could have stood with everyone else, though.” He pointed across the dark, and Trevan had to narrow his eyes. There, on the other side of the clearing, was a larger group of witnesses—Nevyn and Varon stood out, Senri with her two husbands, Dave, who lifted an arm and was still waving, now at no one, and Seanev, who was very still as if he was
afraid to move.
Trevan laughed. “I didn’t even realize they were over there.”
“Figured. It’s pretty fucking dark tonight,” Luykas said with a laugh. He sobered quickly. “You know, they might not come back.”
“I know,” Trevan said softly. “Is there a reason you came to stand with me?”
“Yeah, we have a meeting.” Luykas led him to the group. “Right now. We have to pin this spy down.”
As days went by, then a couple of weeks and winter hit in force. Trevan curled up in a thick cloak as he waited for Dave. He looked over his shoulders to make sure no one was nearby. He was paranoid.
Since most of the group left, everything went to hell. Two more supply shipments were missing before making it to them. Now, they were hoping they could switch the supply route. It would be harder for the Elvasi to catch supplies coming in from Leria, and she could take them from Kerit.
“You’ll follow fucking orders, Kenav!” Luykas roared from inside the war room. “This is not a fucking game or a chance for you to prove yourself! This is a time when you fall in line and do as I ask. I need everyone on the same Skies damn page!”
Trevan winced. The village was out of control. Luykas was a good leader and intelligent, but that didn’t stop everyone from testing him while Alchan was gone.
“Maybe if you told us what you were planning, we’d be more inclined to listen!” Kenav yelled back.
“We?” Luykas snarled. Trevan leaned on the wall outside and closed his eyes. He could hear all of them clearly. “Who is ‘we,’ Kenav? Have you been talking to others? Does anyone else here have a problem with the plans I’ve set in place for each of you? Any questions?”
There was silence.
“Good. Get out,” Luykas snapped.
Trevan made sure he wasn’t by the door as they all came outside, keeping his head down.
“Oh, it’s you,” one of them sneered. “They wonder who the spy is, yet they keep a fucking Elvasi for a pet.”
“I’m not the spy, sir,” Trevan said simply, looking up.
“Sure,” the male warrior snapped, rolling his eyes.
“Move. Along.” Luykas stepped out, glaring. “Trevan, come in here.”
He followed the mutt quickly, ducking his head again.
“Are they getting worse?” Nevyn asked, looking between them.
“Yeah,” Trevan confirmed. “But it’s fine. It’s expected. I’m the enemy to them, and they think you’re blind to it. We knew this was beginning to happen.”
“Doesn’t make it right,” Nevyn muttered, shaking his head. “Dave, what about you?”
“I hear it, but they don’t confront me or get in my face,” Dave answered, looking up from what he was working on. The human barely slept now. He was constantly tracking supplies down to the last loaf of bread, recalculating rations, and trying to keep everyone happy. Eventually, happy was going to be a secondary worry. If they kept losing supplies to the Elvasi attacks, the goal would be to keep people from starving.
“Probably because you’re not a warrior,” Luykas said, sighing. “Though, that’s a danger in and of itself. You two stay together, all right?” Luykas pointed between them. “And Kenav…”
“Yeah, he’s posturing,” Nevyn grumbled. He leaned on his husband, a tender moment Trevan was used to seeing. They were always together, Avatar and General. Trevan was still trying to overcome that new hurdle—addressing an Avatar.
When I thought this couldn’t get any crazier, one of them had to be a chosen mortal representative of a goddess.
“Why, though?” Luykas huffed. “He’s not going to get anywhere with it.”
“He could force Alchan’s hand to make you step aside and let him become Alchan’s second. With enough public support, that is.” Nevyn shrugged. “He wouldn’t last long because he would piss off Alchan.”
“He wouldn’t last the day. Alchan would kill him,” Luykas snapped.
“I know that. You know that. Everyone in this room could figure it out relatively quickly. Kenav, however, is noble born and his cousin. He probably thinks it’s his due, and…we can’t deny he really knows how to gain the trust and loyalty of the warriors. Not the females because we don’t allow that, but even warriors outside of the gladiators like Kenav.”
As Nevyn spoke, someone else walked into the room. He wasn’t seen much anymore. The last time Trevan saw him was when Mave and the others left. Seanev Lorren was a shut-in, but they all knew he had needed much of autumn to deal with personal issues.
“Hey, everyone,” the warrior greeted.
“Hey, how are you?” Luykas asked, showing his concern. “You didn’t need to come in.”
“I think…I think I’m ready to get back to it.” Seanev gave them a weak smile. “Got any work for me?”
“You know we do,” Nevyn said with a radiant grin. “What took you so long?”
“The honest truth?” Seanev chuckled. “I’ve been trying to write this.” He pulled a letter from his pocket. “And I need it sent to Leria.”
“Is this what I think it is?” Nevyn asked softly. He looked over his shoulder at Varon, who reached out to take the letter.
“Yeah. Luykas has been coming to me for advice while I’ve been trying to figure that out. I finally did it. I finally found the right words to tell Leria it’s over, and I won’t be returning.” Seanev let out a sad laugh. “Sorry, it’s taken so long. When you’ve been with someone for…” He closed his eyes.
Varon was the one who went to him and hugged him.
“Then what happened to Leshaun, Mave’s mission and Kian…” Seanev pulled away from the hug. “It’s been hard to get into a good place.”
“It’s okay,” a feminine voice said as the door open. “We understand.”
They all turned to see Senri and her husbands walk in. Senri was heavily pregnant, but she still walked with pride, her males flanking her. She went to the table and looked around.
“This is out of control,” she declared. “We allowed Mave and Alchan their trip on the promise we would keep this ready for their return. I don’t think we’re succeeding, and it’s only been a few weeks.”
“I agree,” Luykas said, lowering his head. “Troubles have been finding us.”
“Tell me about it. This spy killed my husband,” she snapped. “And whoever this person is has also chased away my daughter. We’re running lower on supplies every day, and my guards are dealing with morale issues on the best of days.” She winced and put a hand over her stomach. She growled when Willem and Gentrin tried to touch her. “He’s kicking,” she said softly. “It’s expected.”
“A boy?” Nevyn asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m certain of it,” she snarled. “But we’re not talking about my baby. We’re talking about this.” She slammed her hand on the table. “Find this piece of shit, Luykas. We can’t keep dealing with this.”
“Do you have any suggestions?” Seanev asked, the only one not absolutely terrified of the pregnant woman. His question was taunting, and he gave her an arrogant little smile. Trevan was scared for him.
“Watch yourself,” Luykas warned softly.
“My mother was scarier.”
Senri straightened up and sighed. “I’ll give him that. Kelsiana was terrifying. I met her a few times, thanks to Kian…”
“I know,” Seanev whispered. “But really, do you have any suggestions?”
“None at all.” She said, lifting her hands. “Luykas, we both have people sniffing around Kerit. That poisoning was bold of them. There’s been a lead. Do you have any more on that?”
“I do,” Luykas smirked, snapping his fingers. “It’s a break, and I hope it leads to something. The Andinna is hoping to remain anonymous until they arrive and speak to me. I don’t trust telling all of them because who knows how quickly it would get out. Look at what they did with the spy information, to begin with.”
There wasn’t a single person in the room who didn’t know who they were. T
he unit commanders, the advisors, the nobles. None of them could keep a damn secret. Trevan even heard the whispers of rumors going through the village and most of them tried to be silent when he walked by.
“Or Varon’s status,” Nevyn muttered. “Spread like fucking wildfire. A guard heard one of us mention it in a conversation, and now it’s everywhere.”
“That’s why the guards are now told to spread out farther from the building,” Senri reminded them. “They can’t hear us now and are required to watch each other as well and report everything back to me. If one or two prove to be untrustworthy, the other three will let me know.”
Trevan was impressed. They were trying everything under the sun. It was amazing this spy was still getting information back to the Elvasi and to Shadra. Every day, the village grew more paranoid.
“When does this Andinna arrive?” Nevyn asked.
“Later in the winter. Roads are slow, and I’m sending the person up to Leria, then down to us for obvious reasons. Probably just before Al Moro Nat.”
“That’s weeks away,” Senri said, groaning. “Smart, but so long.”
“We have to keep struggling until then. I know it’s bad, but we have to persevere.” Luykas gave all of them a look, making sure to make eye contact with everyone in the room. “Thank you all for helping me. Dave, where’s Learen?”
“I make sure he takes days off,” Dave answered, looking up. “This all slammed him, and he’s been so tired. When he came by this morning, I took one look at him and told him to get back to bed. Can’t have anyone getting sick, right?”
“Smart thinking. Thank you for looking out for him during all of this. You have enough on your plate.” Luykas smiled sadly. “Now, Seanev, we need to find you some work. I know just the thing, but let’s talk about it at your home, shall we?”
“Of course.” Seanev and Luykas left, Senri next, leaving with her husbands, and Nevyn and Varon were quick behind them.
Trevan settled into a seat next to Dave and sighed.
“This is terrible,” he said plainly, unable to summon any strong emotions. He was exhausted.
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