by Suzanne Hart
When I was ready, he motioned to me with his chin, jutting it to another steel doorway in the semi-darkness. He opened it easily and I moved forward to go ahead, just as before. Slade’s iron grip was on my shoulder, I almost cried out in shock and pain.
“No!” he commanded fiercely. “I’ll go first. I will wait until you are right behind me before we go in. I’ll take out the guard. You just get in that room and put one in his head. Use this.” He handed me a heavy automatic pistol with a silencer. Using my forefinger I could feel that the safety was off, which I put back on for the trip up.
“Good!” Slade sneered. “I don’t want you to shoot me in the ass on the way up! Now move!”
Nineteen
Mikey
The climb up through the vertical shaft to get into the hospital was twice, maybe three times as long as the one down into the sewer. My arms and legs were burning. I stopped every now and again to rest them, but they would start to shake and my legs buckled. I feared I would fall, or worse; fall behind.
I could hear the deft thud of Slade’s boots on the grated steel just ahead of me. If I looked up, I caught a mouthful of his dust, so I kept my head down and tried to keep in time with his steps as we climbed ever forward.
I was unaware of my breathing, but we must have been near the top. Slade stopped, hissing at me angrily. “Will you fucking pipe down! I can hear you wheezing like a sick mule up here. Get a fucking grip, boy. We’re here! I can’t go a foot forward until I know how you’re going to handle what happens next. Get some air and man up; stop acting like such a fucking old woman!”
His words had hurt. I was secretly proud of how I’d managed to keep up with the great Jack Slade, being on a mission with him was kind of cool, despite everything else. To hear him say that, and to realize I was really slowing him down was a crushing blow. I could hear my father congratulating himself, congratulating both of us.
Well done, my boy! A few more minutes and you are sure to impress everybody by being killed, you little worm!
Slade was readying his gear, with one hand gripping the darkened stepladder. It was steel on steel. Looking up at his dark shadow above me, it was clear I was out of my depth. I felt embarrassed for Slade, and for myself. I thought of Natalia again and how much I had disappointed even her. I felt like crying, not shooting someone.
Slade’s steel-tipped boot tapped the crown of my head. It snapped me to attention. I reasoned that, if he had really wanted to be rid of me, he would have just kicked me right off the ladder, letting me fall to my own death. He had brought me this far for a reason. I steeled myself, biting down hard on my own self-pity and resolved to do the best I could.
“That’s better,” I heard Slade whisper. “Once I open that door above us, wait for five seconds. Count them to yourself. That’ll be enough time for me to get the guard down and out of the way.” I felt my head nodding, but my mind wasn’t taking in any of it. I couldn’t believe where I was, or what I was hearing.
Slade continued to outline the plan, regardless of how I felt about it. “The room you will enter is one zero six, it’s the room directly across from where this door opens, got it?” He waited for an answer, “Got it?!” he hissed again, losing his temper for the second time in as many minutes. I heard him breathing slowly and out loud, calming himself before the strike.
“One zero six, yes! I got it,” I stammered, feeling my own anger rising; feeling an urge to prove something to myself now, if nobody else.
I saw a brilliant shaft of light pierce the whole vertical column we were standing in, Slade had opened the door a fraction of an inch just to peep out and see if the coast was clear before we attacked.
“Remember,” he murmured, “five seconds.” I could see his face pressed against the thin crack of the open door he held ajar from our side. “Starting from… now!”
The whole scene of the workman’s access ladder we were standing on was lit for a full second, and I started counting as soon as it went black again, fumbling my way up the ladder to the platform where the door was. Slade had closed it, but it was unlocked. I counted off to five in my mind, then threw the door open, now stunned by the brilliant white light of the corridor.
The corridor was almost empty. I could see Slade dragging the body of a security guard or was it a cop? He had him under each arm, swiftly moving him into a side room and closing the door, blocking the entrance with a trolley of linen.
Slade held his pistol facing up, ready for action. Apart from ourselves and a nurse shuffling in the opposite direction with her back turned, the place seemed empty and quiet. Slade’s eyes narrowed, urging me toward the door in front of me. I stood frozen to the spot. A sudden rush of fear had left me immobile.
“Godammit!” Slade hissed. “Do it! One zero six! Just fucking do it!” He turned his head both ways, like a robot, checking that nobody else was coming.
It was a now or never moment. I felt a nervous surge of energy shift through me, starting in my bowel and rising up, traveling to my trigger finger, which had shifted the safety to armed. I rushed at the door marked one zero six.
It was locked. I bounced off it, firing two silent rounds. From where I lay on the floor, I turned my head. The nurse was lying there, twitching as a dark pool spread from under her white cap. I turned the other way and saw Slade kicking in the door with his massive steel boot. Then I heard the shotguns.
Slade left the room as quickly as he had gone in after the door had caved in under his mighty kick. He had planted his back to the wall outside the room. The whole wall opposite him was peppered with shots, and the smell of powder was filling the corridor. A security alarm sounded from somewhere, and then I saw Slade issue two stun grenades. One into the room and one into the corridor, right by the nurse I had just accidentally gunned down.
“Move!” was the only thing I heard him say, as his back peeled off from the wall and my eyes began to sting from the smoky gas released from the grenades.
The wall where Slade had stood was running a deep red. He’d been hit. I saw his giant hand reaching down to grab me, to take me with him, but a shot rang out, taking the skin off the back of his hand.
There was so much smoke, I couldn’t see anything. I began to crawl away from sounds. People had begun to scream and shout by this stage, and there was a second alarm sounding for fire. General panic ensued as I crawled along the edge of the corridor until I found a door that was unlocked and a room that was dark. I lifted my knees to my chest, still seeing the nurse in the hall in my mind. I began to wail into my sleeve. I was finally one of them.
I was a murderer.
The general chaos of the evacuation had been a perfect opportunity to blend in. I had cried my heart out in the room on the floor where Slade and I had made our botched assassination attempt. Maybe Slade managed to get a bullet into the Bernardi boy, but I never found out. I waited until the threat of being found was too much. Police and firemen were going through the floor, room by room. I had to think fast.
Switching on the light, I found I was in a change room, a sort of staff dressing room. There were a couple of rows of lockers, some bunk beds and a small kitchenette area. The door was card access only and had been left ajar by a fraction only due to the sleeve of some scrubs sticking up out of the linen trolley, catching the door on the frame.
I scrambled out of the dark coveralls I had on and scanned the room for something more suitable.
Bingo!
Doctor Thank Fuck for That had left his white coat, keycard and a small bunch of keys in the pocket. My mind instantly raced to the idea of a drugs cabinet somewhere, but unfortunately for me, time was a factor and I had to keep moving. After a short inspection of his locker; his wallet and keys, I mouthed a silent kiss heavenward.
Just as I had put on the good doctor’s scrubs and coat, there was a pounding on the door. It was a cop.
“Sir! Sir! I need you to step outside, right now! This floor is being evacuated… Sir?” I was stunned, frozen to the sp
ot again. It took a second to realize that this cop actually thought I was a doctor, and I was going to be alright. It was my only way out.
I opened the door, practically falling into the cop’s arms, relieving him of his own sidearm as I went, tucking it into the back of my jeans under my scrubs. I bawled and wailed about the terrorists, and how they’d locked me in the room, how they’d threatened and hit me.
I’m not sure how much of my story he bought, but it was enough in all the excitement happening on the floor at that time for me to be directed to a large group of people being herded down a stairwell by fire marshals.
“Right this way, doctor.” I was led to the front of the group, priority one access off the floor and then out of the building.
I should’ve stayed in school… Doctor Leone… hmmmm.
The floors below were in equal chaos. It was nothing for me to slip away amongst the throngs of people who were jostling this way and that, mostly still trying to figure out exactly what had happened.
I finally found my bearings and, before too long, I had found the doctor’s car parking area, a whole floor of the underground space. A few laps with his keyless remote looking for Jaguar’s and I found it. A gleaming, silver beauty. Within minutes I was doing ninety-five out of the downtown district, fire trucks and cops were all scrambling in the opposite direction, toward the hospital.
Catching a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror as I helped myself to my new shades, I was amazed at how calm I looked. My nerves were shattered, but I had an inkling, a tiny feeling inside that told me why people like Slade, like my father, did what they did. It was a rush that made drugs look like mineral water. I already feared I would be hooked.
Imagine doing that on blow, though. Holy fuckin’ crap!
I was so charged up, I wanted to fuck, right there and then. I felt my dick moving in time to the pulsing of the V8 beast that was carrying me away from all my problems.
Natalia!
At the next set of lights, I closed my eyes, willing myself to recall the numbers I had seen on the screen of my own phone. My lids shot open, the light was green. The tires screeched in tune with the dialing of her number on the doctor’s car phone.
Twenty
Natalia
“Carlo! Stop it! Stop it at once!” It was my mother, she was in the doorway. Her eyes flashed with a brilliance I wouldn’t have thought possible from her. She seemed larger, younger. More powerful in her rage.
My father’s grip loosened as he discarded me, turning his attention to her. He sneered, rolling up his sleeve. I could hear the blood rushing into my ears, dark spots were filling the room, which shifted like the cabin of a boat or plane as it pitched in rough weather.
Before he could cross the room to her, she had lowered her voice. I noticed she was holding a phone in her hand, an old style handset from her own room, the type with an extendable antenna on it, something from the eighties.
“There’s been an accident, Carlo. A car crash. It’s your sister, Pippa.”
I felt myself swoon and then drop, all the blood had left my head and I fainted again, just long enough to hit the floor, which jolted me back to a painful consciousness. I was straining to hear what they were saying, my hearing was shot.
Oh my god! Felix! My baby!
I saw the instant change in my father, and he snatched the phone from my mother who had rushed over to help me up. I was more focused on what was being said on the phone, but he’d left the room, putting himself out of earshot.
“What happened?” I asked, trying to sound only mildly interested.
“You fainted is all, your father, he…”
“No!” I insisted. “What happened to Pippa? Tell me!” My mother’s expression changed. I could tell my own was saying a lot more than I wanted, but I had to know if my son was in the car. I had to know Felix was alright.
She looked deeply into my eyes while she read my whole features, the corner of her mouth dropped in dissatisfaction. She knew I had some secret involving Pippa. It occurred to me that my father’s relationship with his half-sister was closer than I had thought, too. News of anyone else would never have affected him like that; even the news of his own son’s beating hadn’t seemed to bother him as he took death and mayhem in his stride on a daily basis.
“Why would you care?” my mother finally asked, her look was a question all of its own.
“Well!” I started, “it’s just… well, it’s family and I need to know she’s alright, that’s all,” I stuttered, letting her help me up and into a large armchair. She sat opposite me, her eyes still probing mine.
My mind was racing still, thinking and fearing the worst for Felix. I would have to find a way out of that house, immediately. At that moment I resolved myself to die trying if I had to.
“Your father would’ve killed you just now, you know that, don’t you?” she asked suddenly, changing the subject; the iciness returning to her voice.
She looked away, past me and toward the figure of my father, who was strolling through to a different part of the house.
“He used to do that to me too. Before you were born. He used to beat me senseless.” Her voice trailed off, her own eyes grew misty, mirroring mine as I considered the fate of my only son. “Come!” she said suddenly, almost jerking herself up out of the chair.
It was the most interaction I’d ever had with my mother. It felt strange, like watching an animated version of her photograph move about. She was more a recluse than I was, hardly being seen about the main household by anyone.
“Quickly! Before he comes back, follow me!” I willed myself, through sheer determination to do whatever came next, to get myself one step closer to trying to figure out how to get to Felix.
Following her lead, we slipped past the backs of the two guards at the junction of the huge arched hallway between my father’s office and the rest of the building.
I followed her through some narrow passages, across two courtyards and then down several, even narrower sets of stairs, that led downward before we came to a set of steel doors. She produced a set of keys, a roll of notes and my cell phone from her apron, which she still had on from her gardening.
Holding my face in both her hands, she looked into my eyes, her tears being held there, stopped from spilling over as if by magic. “Take these. There’s a car behind this door, the garage opens out onto the street. It’s unlocked. Go to him, whoever he is. Just go and never look back!” She kissed me tenderly, then literally pushed me through the door as she opened it, closing it behind me, not letting me see the emotional wave smash on the rocks as she lost all her control.
I heard her muted breakdown from behind the door, but felt a renewed sense of hope, urgency too; as I knew my life would be over if I was caught trying to leave that place.
I thought of my mother’s own safety, briefly, but she knew her own risks and had decided to take them. I silently thanked her for that and, opening the throttle of the car, I sped out toward freedom.
I had limited; I had no funds as Natalia Bernardi, save for what my mother had just given me. Felicia Diamond, on the other hand; she had plenty of money. It was all in L.A. though.
I have to get there, and fast! Felix, I’m coming, darling!
The throaty carburetors voiced my own sense of urgency. I was weaving through traffic at a fair speed, but not reckless enough to attract any unwanted attention. I was heading for the airport; the fastest way to get to Felix would be by plane. I had tried all the L.A. numbers I could remember, but no answer. Everything was going straight to voicemail. Even Felix’s little phone.
I had been so certain in keeping that life and that part of me separate, it occurred to me only then, that it had also cut off any sensible links or way of communicating if anything ever went wrong. It was just that time when the unimaginable had happened. I had to suck it up and just get there to see how bad it really was, for myself and by myself.
Money can’t buy everything, Natalia. It can’t buy
you a new son…
Struggling to keep it together, I gasped when I heard my own cell ringing, a private number. It must have been Felix. It had to be.
Please be Felix!
My heart sank, then jumped again. It was Mikey.
“Mikey?” I asked, almost in disbelief. His line was bad, and I only caught pieces of what he was saying.
“…getting away… hospital… shot… need to see you… where… you… Please!” My stomach did a second somersault. I thought he was telling me he’d just been shot. I swerved sharply, pulling into a truck stop. I got out of the car, pacing, and then the line improved. I exhaled as he retold his story.
“I need to see you, where are you? I have so much to tell you. Natalia? Are you there?”
I felt it. I knew there and then that my feelings for him were as real as his for me. I struggled to speak without crying, I was so many emotions all at once.
“Mikey. Me too, I have to tell you a lot. I’m heading to the airport. About twenty minutes. I’m going back to L.A. Meet me at the departure desk; I’ll be buying a ticket.” I was talking over him, trying to get out what I had to say before I broke down completely.
“Buy two,” he said. “I’m coming with you.” He hung up. I thought maybe the line had died, but then realized what was happening, and so I was in the car and back on the freeway in seconds.
Twenty minutes later, I had two, one-way tickets to L.A. in my hand as I drummed my thousand-dollar manicure on a ten dollar tabletop in the departure lounge.
Just when I was beginning to think he might not show, and just as they were calling for the flight to board, I saw him. He was wearing a doctor’s coat and scrubs for some reason. He was running, picking up speed and smiling in relief and disbelief once our eyes met.
The impact of us running into each other’s arms was like an explosion. All the fear, all the worry and uncertainty was blasted away in the split second our bodies collided. We raced to find each other’s mouths. He kissed me so deeply, holding me so tight, I felt ashamed that I had doubted the energy between us, because it was undeniable.