Killing Time

by C. M. Carney

  “Well, well, well, Gaarm, you’re a made man.” The large Eldarian just stared at me in confusion, bordering on anger. Seraphine brought me another mug of mead, but I told her to give it to Gaarm instead. The gesture seemed to allay his suspicions, and he returned his attention to his pals.

  I opened my Analyze Perk Tree and dumped points into Know Desires, False Report 1 and Skill Resistance 2. Maybe now I’d be able to see what that Agent bitch wanted. And if not, I could lie to her and show her I was, say, a badass in ninjutsu, when I wasn’t. Okay, dumb example, but I always wanted to be Sho Kusogi. While potentially less fun, Skill Resistance 2 could be the key to my maybe surviving the Agent next time.

  It was time to test out my new perks. I activated Know Desires. “Hey Gaarm, old buddy, old pal, why exactly are you a wanted man?”

  “Cuz’ I kill pip-squeak dwarves like you who ask stupid questions,” Gaarm said, leaning forward in his chair with a murderous scowl.

  “I’m Ordonian…” I said when a prompt window interrupted my words.

  You have successfully used Know Desires on Gaarm.

  Your Analyze level combined with your Intelligence was too much for his small mind to resist.

  You not only know that Gaarm is lying, you know what he truly desires.

  Gaarm has an unhealthy appetite for sexual relations with livestock.

  You have been offered the Quest: Bounty for the Beast Humper.

  Gaarm, Eldarian of the Vex, is not only a terrible man, he is also a creepy perv wanted for engaging in sexual relations with farm animals. Turn him into the proper authorities.

  Difficulty: Moderate. Reward: 100 gold pieces. XP: 5,000

  Wow, my first quest. I looked up at Gaarm. “Bestiality? Really Gaarm? Lay off the livestock buddy.”

  The Eldarian coughed up some of his mead as anger and shock surged into his eyes. He pulled his dagger and jumped across the table at me, aiming to skewer my throat. I activated Dodge and his blade missed its mark, but still made a glancing blow against my robes. My Health bar dipped by about 10%, which annoyed me more than hurt me. I stood, powered up my hammer and crushed the idiot’s head.

  You have earned 1,984 XP for slaying Gaarm.

  Screams filled the room, and I shrugged. Guess my evolution to a kindler, gender Lex would have to wait. I swung my hammer in lazy arcs, not really caring who I killed or how many. I took some shots of my own and my Health bar ticked downwards.

  You have earned 462 XP for slaying the Dealer.

  You have earned 1,265 XP for slaying Mustachio.

  You have earned 1,151 XP for slaying Aegyptian Goon.

  After a minute of this another well-aimed crossbow bolt split my Adam’s apple. Nice shot, I thought and fell to the ground, blood flowing from my ruined throat.

  I died.

  ☠☠☠☠☠

  7

  I was back, again. It was time to enact Plan 2.0, Make Friends. I scanned the room and my eyes fell to the twitchy fire mage. I know what you’re thinking, that guy is a nut job. Yes, he is, but he also knew magic and maybe, just maybe, he would teach me. I needed to understand the weird pyro, so I Analyzed him with Know Falsehoods.

  Arno Malik: Level 9 - H: 178/S: 163/M: 175/SP: 124

  Race: Aegyptian

  Arno Malik is the seventh son of a minor noble family from Gypt.

  Strengths: +20% Fire Damage. - Immunities: Unknown. - Weaknesses: Unknown

  You have successfully used Know Desires on Arno Malik.

  Your Analyze level combined with your Intelligence was too much for his unstable mind to resist.

  You now know that Arno just wants love and forgiveness. He wants to belong after his obsessive love of fire caused the accidental death of his entire family.

  You have been offered the Quest: Bounty for the Pyromaniac.

  Arno Malik of Gypt, is wanted for questioning in the matter of the death of his entire family in a mysterious fire. Turn him into the proper authorities.

  Difficulty: Moderate. Reward: 100 gold pieces. XP: 5,000

  No wonder the dude is so twitchy. I felt bad for him, and unlike Gaarm, had no desire to turn him in. But, at the moment I couldn’t let sentiment get the better of me. Arno had skills that I needed.

  I chatted the guy up over several lifetimes and eventually learned what he wanted. He didn’t want money. He didn’t care that I threatened to tell the constable about him. He didn’t even want a date with Seraphine. Like I said the guy was weird. I finally realized that what he wanted was a friend, a comrade-in-arms, someone to make him feel less psycho and alone.

  “So the deal is, I teach you Fire Magic,” he said, eyes glowing with an internal fire. “And then we burn this place to the ground with everyone in it?”

  “Yup,” I said and that little voice deep inside chirped up again. Nice job staying away from going psycho dude. “Shut up,” I said.

  “Excuse me?” Arno asked, his eyes squinting in suspicion.

  “Nothing let’s burn this joint,” I said with a cheery thumbs up.

  Arno jumped to his feet with such excitement that he almost knocked Seraphine over. She gave him an irritated look, but then went on her way. Arno stared after her.

  “Sure you don’t want to let her live?” I asked. He shook his head no and gave me a creepy leer. “Well, okay then,” I said, and Arno placed his hands on my head. A raging inferno leapt up my arms and into my mind.

  You have learned the spell Flames.

  Sphere: Fire Magic - Tier: Base.

  Allows the caster to fire a continuous stream of fire from their hand. Base Damage: 10 (+1 per five levels of Fire Magic). Does an additional 5 pts. (+1 per five levels of Fire Magic) of damage every second that Flames is active.

  Mana Cost: 20 + 20 Pts./Sec. Duration: Until cancelled or Mana runs out.

  Cooldown: None

  You have learned the skill FIRE MAGIC.

  Level: 1 - Tier: Base - Skill Type: Active

  You can now wield the power of Fire Magic. Fire Magic allows the user to manipulate fire and heat. Fire magic is primarily an offensive magic, but it also has some defensive spells and can be used to summon creatures made of fire. Fire mages are notoriously hot tempered, often unstable and considered very dangerous.

  Well that description has got you pegged Arno my pal. Flames was a pretty cool spell, but also very basic. I asked Arno if he had any other spells he could teach me.

  “No,” he said, a perplexed look crossing his face. “Why would anyone need one?”

  “Okay then,” I said. “Let’s get burning.” Arno grinned, and I got a prompt.

  You have been invited to join Arno's Adventuring Party.

  Already knowing that I would regret it I hit ACCEPT.

  Buff Added. You have been granted Pyromaniac’s Furor.

  Fire Magic Damage and Fire Magic Resistance increased by 25%. Bonuses last as long as the flames have possession of your soul.

  The bonuses were sweet though the fact that they were tied to my dedication to pyromania was a bit unnerving. I should have known the crazy was about to get much worse.

  Arno looked back at me with a grin and then thrust both hands out. Jets of flame erupted from his palms. The heat and power were incredible, and a sheen of sweat covered my skin. Arno pulsed his flames over all the people in the inn and the screams of agony and the smell of charred flesh made me gag.

  What have I done?

  Sure, I’d murdered nearly everyone in this building more times than I could count, but there was something truly terrifying about fire. I couldn’t take it and I pointed my palms at Arno and unleashed fiery hell. His eyes darted back to me with that same look of agony and ecstasy I’d seen on him where I'd killed him with the Molotov cocktail. The lunatic had never been happier.

  Arno died.

  You have earned 1,223 XP for slaying Arno

  You have earned 26,235 XP from Arno's Adventuring Party.

  The flames were consuming every surface in the room and I knew ther
e was no way I was getting out. I knew dying by fire would be pure agony, so I did the only thing I could think of. I took huge breaths. Better to die by smoke inhalation than by fire. I collapsed to the ground as the smoke stole my breath and noted, with no small amount of annoyance, that Arno had done what I could not. The shifty rogue with the cigarillo was a charred corpse, still sitting in his chair.

  I died.

  ☠☠☠☠☠

  I spent the next several lives learning about the other inn-mates in my prison of time. Gaarm had no interest in helping me with anything, and his bullying kept all his goons in line. The dealer was useless, as his one power seemed to be pretentiousness.

  For the price of a mug of mead, and a willingness to listen to him blather on and on about his belief that everyone in town was a chthonic demon worshipper, I convinced Percinius, the Priest of Ferrancia to teach me Life Magic. That dude had a serious dislike of demons.

  You have learned the spell Minor Healing.

  Sphere: Life Magic - Tier: Base.

  You can now heal minor wounds on yourself and others. Heals 20 points of Damage (+ 2 per level of Life Magic)

  Mana Cost: 20. Casting Time: 2 seconds. Duration: N/A. Cooldown: 30 seconds

  You have learned the skill LIFE MAGIC.

  Level: 1 - Tier: Base - Skill Type: Active

  You are now able to wield the power of Life Magic. Life Magic allows the user to tap into the animating forces of life and sentience itself. Life Magic primarily makes use of defensive and healing spells, but also has some potent offensive spells. Note: Users of Life Magic are beloved for their abilities to heal, to enable crops to grow quicker and to make life better.

  Next, I turned my attentions to Seraphine. I’d known that something wasn’t quite on the level with her for a while. Her XP payout should have been somewhere in the range of Jeeves the dealer’s 462, but it was over four times higher. I used Analyze and Know Desires on her.

  Analyze has failed.

  Know Desires has failed.

  Seraphine’s eyes locked on mine and the deep grey that I’d previously thought was beautiful became sinister. She advanced on me, slipping a wickedly sharp dagger from her apron.

  “Well damn,” I said and powered up my war hammer. She got in a surprising number of strikes before I took her down. When she was finally dead, I knelt at her corpse.

  You have earned 2,153 XP for slaying Seraphine.

  Debuff Added. You are Severely Bleeding.

  5 Dmg/Sec until your wound is staunched.

  Debuff Added. You have been Poisoned.

  5 Dmg/Sec for 10 seconds.

  Knowing I didn’t have much time, I searched her. I found a small vial of black liquid that gave me the creeps and a rolled-up scroll of parchment. I tried to open the parchment, but no matter how much I tugged, tore and pulled the ribbon would not come free.

  You have found a Secure Scroll.

  Designed to protect secrets, Secure Scrolls will only reveal their secrets with the utterance of the correct password or phrase.

  “Crap,” I grumbled through gritted teeth. “Stupid scroll.” A crossbow bolt hit me in the back and my Health bar blinked alarmingly. I shook the parchment in annoyance and then had a thought. I cast Commune.

  The world paused and as the mists rolled in my pain subsided. That’s an interesting side effect. A moment later Rubik floated up. Now, I had no clue if this idea would work, but ever since reading the Commune description, I’d been wondering exactly what a Boon was, but I suspected one could help me now. I knew one thing, my question needed to be precise to get a Boon from the ever-vague floating box.

  “Will you tell me the password or phrase to open this scroll?” I asked and held the rolled parchment up in front of Rubik’s never blinking eye. It stared at me for several heartbeats and I felt like a child digging for the prize at the bottom of a cereal box, desperate for it to be something great, but fearing it would be a cheap hunk of crap.

  YES, it thought at me and I felt rubbery fingers grab my head. It was a bit disconcerting being mere inches from an unblinking eye the size of a dinner plate. But then a tingle ran through my body, similar to the restructuring sensation I’d felt when I’d learned Commune. Then, a single word popped into my brain.

  Daffodil.

  Rubik removed its hands, but instead of floating away it hovered there for a moment, its unblinking eye looking me up and down. I felt like a hot chick being ogled by construction workers.

  “What’s up pal?” I asked, as a sense of worry flowed through me. Its pupil dilated and a rubbery hand whipped out, grabbing my belt and pulling me close. “Hey!” I yelled in alarm, and scenes of creepy inter-planar molestation rushed through my head. “I’m not that kinda guy,” I said, and then Rubik dug into my satchel and removed my Writs of Cerrunos. “Hey, that’s mine.” It just stared at me. “Right, Boons require a payment. Go ahead, it’s not like I’m using it, anyway. Stupid dead god.” Then I remembered it would end up back in my satchel when my next life started anyway, so no harm no foul.

  The cubic creature held the book in both hands and then a slit appeared beneath the large eye. The slit parted to reveal a mouth full of sharp, symmetrical teeth. I backed up a bit and then with no ceremony the quadrata crammed the book into its mouth, its teeth tearing at it like a paper shredder. Rubik finished his papery meal, turned and floated away.

  “Well okay then,” I said, puzzled. “At least I got a Boon,” I said and did a little jump in triumph. Then doubt settled into my heart. “Wait, daffodil? Are you sure?” I called after Rubik, knowing I would get no answer. The mists faded, time moved forwards again and pain tore into my body, and I was back dying over Seraphine’s body. I heard yelling and the sound of many feet rushing my way and knew I only had seconds left.

  “Daffodil,” I said. The ribbon around the scroll glowed and untied itself. The scroll unfurled and suddenly I knew what it contained.

  Contract

  Subject: This scroll is a bound contract between the Assassin known as Seraphine and the Vex.

  Target: Master Grimslee, Owner and Operator of the Shining Unicorn Inn and the local leader of the Durnarian Syndicate.

  Payment: 1,000 gold.

  “Oh, Master Grimslee, you’re like the Godfather.” I looked up at the grim-faced innkeeper as he took aim with his crossbow. “You picked the wrong side pal,” I said and laughed. The twang of the crossbow announced the end of that life.

  ☠☠☠☠☠

  My next life had a single mission, discover what the creepy liquid Seraphine carried was all about. This time I didn’t even bother killing her, I just groped my way into her apron and stole it. I know, it was kinda pervo stalker behavior, and I felt bad about that. Is it odd that my groping made me feel worse than all the murder?

  Seraphine’s eyes widened in alarm as I pulled the small stopper from the vial and downed the black liquid like a bro chugging Jaeger. For a moment nothing happened. Seraphine just stared at me with wide eyes.

  I grinned at her and a single word popped into my brain. “Daffodil,” I said. Her eyes widened in panic and then my gut churned in agony.

  Now, I’d died a whole bunch of times and some of them were incredibly painful, but that little vial of poison was so horrid I still shiver thinking about it.

  The liquid melted my flesh. It started with my lips and then bubbled into my mouth and down my throat. My teeth melted, and a hole appeared in my throat. I coughed up blood as the poison boiled away my flesh.

  Debuff Added. You have been Poisoned.

  You have been poisoned by the Bane of Life, an acidic poison that is melting your body.

  Bane of Life is immune to Counter Agents and renders Healing Spells and Potions ineffective for 10 seconds.

  50 Dmg/Sec for 10 seconds.

  You bitch, I thought. I would have said it, but my throat and mouth had burned away and I could no longer speak. Then, thankfully, I died.

  ☠☠☠☠☠

  I may have fr
eaked out a bit when I came back from that death. I could still feel the phantom pain of my flesh melting, so I walked up to Seraphine and unloaded my full Mana pool into Order Bolt. My assault looked like a burst of pure white fireworks unloading into her face. The energy surged into her body.

  At level 19 in Order Magic, I could fire three bolts per casting, each doing eight points of damage. Due to my level I had only a one second cooldown, so she had little ability to recover between my castings. With 199 Mana I could fire the spell nine times before running out. That was a whopping 216 points of damage.

  My Mana dried up, and with it came a massive headache, like a migraine delivered by a spike of ice to my temple. I bent over, gritting my teeth in pain, and was stunned to see Seraphine stumble to her feet. Dammit, this girl was tough. I powered up my hammer with Spirit energy and took a home run swing. She collapsed in a heap.

  You have earned 2,153 XP for slaying Seraphine.

  A stunned silence filled the inn as I looked around, mad eyes begging anyone to say something. Gaarm laughed, answering a question that had bugged me for some time. Despite their common connection to the Vex, it seemed he and Seraphine were not working together. I gave the brute a thumbs up.