Keeping Juliette Company

by Sarah Picson

  ‘I’m not getting married,’ she repeated, louder this time. ‘I’m not going to marry Dominic.’

  Her mum’s expression turned thunderous.

  ‘I don’t understand,’ Nancy said.

  ‘There isn’t going to be a wedding,’ Ellie said, enjoying the sound of the words in her mouth.

  Nancy’s face was the perfect picture of perplexion, before a deep chuckle bubbled up from her throat.

  ‘You’re pulling my leg! Anne?’ she said, looking accusingly at Ellie’s mum. ‘I’ve been looking for a new outfit.’

  ‘Ellie, we’ll talk about this later,’ Anne said.

  ‘No, Mum, we won’t.’

  A lightness spread through Ellie and with it a clarity that she hadn’t felt in months. She sat up straight and pushed her shoulders back.

  ‘This is most strange,’ said Nancy. ‘Anne, what on earth’s going on?’

  Anne rolled her eyes and looked as if she wanted to throttle Nancy into silence.

  ‘Well, of course it’s strange, Nancy. I don’t know what’s got into her. It’s a mistake.’

  ‘Of course, it’s a mistake, there’s no doubt about that, but what brought this on?’ Nancy asked.

  ‘She’s just got pre-wedding nerves, that’s all,’ Anne said.

  ‘I see, well I’m sure we can straighten this out over lunch then,’ Nancy declared.

  ‘Yes, we’d better,’ Anne said, fixing her daughter with an icy glare, disappointment pouring out of every pore of her body. ‘Let’s order some food.’

  ‘Actually, I’ve lost my appetite,’ Ellie said, pushing back her chair and standing up.

  ‘Ellie!’

  ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend my money on a haircut. Not a fancy dress or a bunch of silly flowers, that will wilt and die after a few days.’

  Without looking back, she darted past the tables and chairs and burst out of the café.

  ‘Ellie!’ she heard her mum call furiously, just before the door shut behind her.

  She welcomed the rush of fresh air that hit her face. Walking with determination, she made her way to a nearby hairdressing salon. On arrival, she was told that they’d had a cancellation and she could be seen straight away. A woman with bright, red hair, manically chewing gum, appeared beside her. Ellie slid a hand through her long blonde hair. The hair Dominic used to tell her he found so sexy.

  ‘I’d like a change.’

  The red-haired woman gave an approving nod and as Ellie leaned her head back into a sink and had sweet-smelling shampoo massaged into her hair, she decided that tomorrow would be a new day and she was looking forward to it.

  Chapter 20

  Robert swore as he rummaged around in the boot of his car for a puncture repair kit. He’d arrived at White Willow Lake only to discover not one, but two flat tyres on his bike. Backing out of the boot empty handed, he slammed it shut and struggled to keep still as a nervous energy shot up his legs. He was itching to go for a cycle ride, but that clearly wasn’t going to happen this morning.

  In the distance, Robert spotted a man jogging by and with a grimace he unclipped his helmet, tossed it into the car and set off at an unrelenting pace around the lake.

  A silvery frost caressed the tips of the grass and clung to the slender branches of the willow trees around the lake, giving them an ethereal, majestic quality. It was a cold start to the day, but after ten minutes, Robert was hot and bothered. He slowed his pace. He hadn’t been running for years and he’d never been keen on it, always preferring to cycle when he exercised, but as he gulped in the crisp morning air, he began to steady his breathing and found a rhythm that worked for him.

  Once he’d done a circuit, he paused, his hands resting on his hips as he enjoyed the view across the tranquil lake. Many more joggers and dog walkers shared the path with him now, so on a whim, he veered off into the trees on a muddy track which he hadn’t yet explored. The intense smell of moss and damp trapped in the undergrowth hit him as his feet sank into a soft carpet of fallen leaves on the path between the trees.

  It wasn’t long before the track started to ascend steeply, but Robert pushed on and eventually he broke out of the trees into a small, high clearing. He pushed his wobbly legs forwards, his rough breathing the only sound to be heard, and stared in awe at the view before him. He could see for miles around; an unbroken vista of lush, green countryside, dotted with farmhouses and tiny specks of cars hurtling along narrow, winding roads.

  There was a wooden bench positioned to enjoy the view and just beyond it was a steep drop down into a tangle of thorny bushes. Robert sat on an arm of the bench to rest his pounding heart and wondered if many people made the steep climb up to this remote spot. It was worth it.

  For a moment, the world seemed to stop turning. He breathed the peaceful silence deep into his lungs, forgetting about everything and everyone. His eyes flickered shut as he absorbed the soft, autumnal rays of sunshine on his face.

  The snap of a branch made Robert’s eyes fly open. He twisted round. There was movement on the path he’d just come from. He could see a shadow, the shape of a person emerging through the trees.

  Robert could tell it was a woman as she emerged into the clearing: she was small, petite and wore a baseball cap that obscured her view of him. She bent over, her hands on her knees, catching her breath and when she straightened up, a scream tore from her throat.

  ‘Ellie?’

  ‘Oh my God,’ Ellie cried. ‘You scared the life out of me.’

  He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said, trying not to chuckle at the look of horror on her face.

  ‘Nobody ever comes up here,’ she said, her eyes wide and startled. ‘I thought I was alone.’

  Robert watched her as she recovered from the surprise. She wore colourful leggings, a black sleeveless sports top and her trainers were caked in mud. He felt a powerful jolt shoot through him at the sight of her.

  ‘So did I,’ Robert said, sitting back down.

  Ellie hesitated for a moment, before walking to the other end of the bench.

  ‘I never get tired of this,’ she said, staring out at the view.

  ‘You come here a lot?’

  ‘It’s a great place to think.’

  ‘It is beautiful,’ he said, stealing a glimpse at her profile.

  ‘I’ve never met anybody up here before today. Maybe it can be our secret,’ she said, her eyes twinkling.

  ‘I like the sound of that.’

  Ellie perched on the other arm of the bench.

  ‘Just you, me and Juliette,’ she said.

  ‘Juliette?’ Robert said, frowning. She nodded her head towards what once had probably been a shiny, brass memorial plaque fitted to the top of the bench. Now, it was a murky colour and he had to lean closer to read the faded words. ‘In loving memory of Juliette Kirby. 1907 - 1994. A treasured mother who loved this view.’

  ‘She must have come up here often,’ Ellie said.

  ‘With a view like that, I should think so.’

  ‘I wonder what kind of person she was?’

  ‘She lived through two world wars,’ Robert mused.

  ‘Maybe that’s why she came here to walk these trails. To escape. To think.’

  ‘You might be right.’

  Robert wondered whether it might be time for him to leave, but his limbs were heavy and unresponsive with contentment. He couldn’t imagine being anywhere else in the world right now.

  Ellie cleared her throat.

  ‘I’m sorry for running off that night you invited me in for a drink,’ she began, examining the back of her hands. ‘But I’m not sure that I should have…’ She paused and Robert shot her a curious look. ‘Well, I’m not sure I should have accepted in the first place. I am Abi’s maths teacher, after all.’

  ‘There’s nothing to apologise for. I enjoyed your company that evening.’ Robert could feel the heat of Ellie’s stare on his face as he fidgeted about on the
arm of the bench. ‘How was the week away at your parents?’

  ‘It did me good.’

  ‘Abi has missed you. The few times she’s spoken to me, that is.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘I took the day off work on Wednesday to spend some time with her.’

  ‘That’s great.’

  ‘All she wanted to do was spend time with her friends. I’m not sure I should have bothered.’

  ‘Don’t say that,’ Ellie said. ‘I’m sure she appreciated the gesture.’

  ‘You think?’

  ‘Try again. You won’t regret it.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘For encouraging me to keep going with Abi and for all your sensible advice. It’s been helpful.’

  Robert thought he saw a pink flush stain her cheeks, although the cap she was wearing was irritating him, he wanted to tear it from her head so he could see her face properly.

  ‘I’m glad someone appreciates what I say,’ she said, with a shy laugh.

  ‘Anyone who doesn’t is a fool,’ he growled.

  Robert felt her eyes on him again and he clenched his jaw shut, annoyed that he was being so careless with his words. The endorphins from the run seemed to have made him lightheaded.

  There was a pocket of silence in which they were both caught up in their own thoughts.

  ‘How can you ever be sure enough about someone to marry them?’ Ellie asked, suddenly.

  The question came out of nowhere and Robert saw her pale, blue eyes studying his wedding ring; he slid his hands into his pockets.

  ‘I don’t know if you can ever be entirely sure,’ Robert said.

  ‘How did you know Jane was the one for you, if you don’t mind me asking?’

  He did mind. He didn’t want to talk about his relationship with Jane, especially to her; this woman who had come into his life and turned his feelings upside down. He didn’t want Ellie to know what he’d done.

  But as he opened his mouth to rattle off his usual blunt answer to anyone who asked about his private life, he was struck with a need to open up and share some of himself with her, even if it did feel like being stabbed in the gut.

  ‘We met at university and married young,’ Robert said. ‘We were both idealistic and ambitious. We thought we knew what our path would be together. But…’ He paused, exhaling deeply as memories rose and swirled before him: his frustration at their arguments, of the times he had shouted too much and when Jane had shut down and refused to talk to him. ‘We both changed,’ he continued. ‘We wanted different things and before we knew it, we had drifted apart and our relationship was never the same again.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Ellie said.

  Robert nodded, more exhausted from what he’d just said than his run round the lake.

  ‘Marriage is hard work,’ he said. ‘Even with a strong foundation, I don’t think you can ever be entirely sure.’

  She stared at him with wide eyes and a pang of guilt pierced him. Had he said too much? He didn’t want to taint the good times he’d had with Jane, but he found himself wanting Ellie to know the truth: that his marriage had deteriorated in the years before the accident.

  He shot up from the arm of the bench.

  ‘I’d better be off. It was good to see you. This is a great spot.’

  ‘I think it might be my favourite place in Thistleby,’ Ellie said, pulling off her baseball cap and pushing her fingers through her hair.

  Robert’s feet froze beneath him and his jaw slackened.

  ‘What?’ she asked, catching his eye. Then she gave a little chuckle. ‘Oh yes. I thought I’d try something new. What do you think?’

  Ellie removed her fingers from her hair so that it hung down the sides of her face. It was short, sitting just above her shoulders, with a small, side fringe that made her look incredibly sophisticated. Robert drank in the sight of her.

  ‘It’s…’ he faltered.

  ‘You don’t like it?’ she asked, a flash of concern in her eyes.

  ‘I do like it,’ he said, feeling his mouth go dry. ‘Very much. It suits you.’

  A smile lit up her face, like the sun bursting out from behind a cloud.

  Robert hovered by the bench as she pulled her cap back on. He considered asking her out for a coffee. He even formed the words in his mouth, trying to ditch his usual sense of caution, but Ellie’s eyes were fixed on the beautiful view ahead, her face still and composed. He got the distinct impression that she might want to be alone.

  ‘See you on Thursday then,’ he said, pulling himself away.

  ‘Bye,’ she called.

  Robert picked up the pace on his run back down to the lake, discovering a welcome surge of energy from somewhere. He wondered how he would find the patience to wait for Thursday evening.

  Chapter 21

  Ellie hummed to herself as she prepared a salad for lunch. She smiled yet again at the thought of Robert’s reaction when he’d seen her new haircut at White Willow Lake that morning. His open mouth, swift nod of appreciation and the intensity with which he’d stared at her, had left her short of breath.

  As she chopped up peppers and tomatoes, Ellie became lost in a dreamy fog of abandon. The radio began to play an upbeat song that she loved and twisting the volume button up, she swung her hips from side to side in time with the music, her head nodding along to the beat.

  ‘Someone’s in a good mood.’

  Dominic’s voice sliced through the air behind her.

  She flinched and dropped the knife she was holding. It fell to the floor with a clatter, narrowly missing her bare foot. Ellie whipped round to see Dominic strolling into the kitchen and she hurtled back down to reality with a thud.

  Before she could compose herself, he was before her, his lips covering hers. She broke away, unable to believe that for a few blissful moments she’d almost forgotten she lived with him.

  Lounging against the cabinet, Dominic folded his arms and smirked at her, as if waiting to be entertained.

  ‘Why so happy?’

  He picked up a tomato and bit into it; juice dribbling down his hand.

  ‘No reason,’ she said, bending over to pick up the knife.

  As she straightened up, she found that his smirk had slipped into a scowl.

  ‘What have you done to your hair?’

  She pulled her clip out so that her hair escaped and fell lightly around her face.

  ‘I wanted a change.’

  Dominic curled his lip.

  ‘I liked it when it was long.’

  Ellie curled her fingers around the knife handle.

  ‘I’ve been told it suits me.’

  Dominic’s laugh rang echoed around the kitchen.

  ‘Is that right? Enjoyed your week away then, did you?’ he asked.

  ‘I did.’

  ‘Did you miss me?’ Dominic asked. She didn’t answer. ‘What did you do all week?’

  ‘I was busy.’

  The slap of a letter landing next to the chopping board made her jump.

  ‘Yes, you’ve been very busy, haven’t you?’

  The envelope was addressed to her. She picked it up. No attempt had been made to hide the fact that it had been opened. She instantly recognised the letterhead as she pulled out the letter and scanned it. It was brief, informing her that the Thistleby High Hotel had received her instruction to cancel the booking for her wedding reception.

  She crushed the letter in her hand. She’d forgotten about her rash decision to cancel the booking the day she’d torn half of her wedding folder to pieces.

  ‘I didn’t even know you’d booked that ridiculous place for the wedding and now I find out you’ve cancelled it!’

  ‘You had no business opening my post.’

  ‘Oh, I think I did. I’ve got more out of one letter than I have out of you for weeks.’

  ‘And whose fault is that?’

  His fist landed so hard on the counter that Ellie let out a little yelp.

&n
bsp; ‘I don’t know what’s going on with you,’ Dominic said. ‘I’m being as patient as I can, but I’ve had about as much as I can take. I wish you’d get over your mood and grow up. It’s getting boring.’

  Staring at Dominic’s twisted features, Ellie felt a surge of strength to say the words she’d been playing over in her mind for such a long time. She needed to set them free.

  ‘I’m sorry if I’m boring you,’ Ellie said, placing the knife down on the chopping board. ‘But the reason I cancelled the venue is because I don’t want to get married.’

  Dominic’s eyes darkened.

  ‘What are you talking about? Of course, we’re getting married.’

  ‘I can’t marry you, Dominic. I don’t trust you.’

  He threw his hands in the air.

  ‘Oh God, it’s this idiotic thing with Scarlette you’ve been accusing me of, isn’t it? You’re jealous! Nothing is going on. How many times do I have to tell you?’

  ‘I don’t believe you.’

  ‘You don’t believe me?’ he repeated, his voice low.

  ‘No.’

  ‘This is crazy,’ Dominic said. ‘You’re crazy!’

  But as he pulled back his lips, exposing his teeth, Ellie could tell her directness had rattled him, and a lightness spread through her after months of excruciating uncertainty.

  ‘I thought I was going crazy, but I’m not. You’re not right for me, Dominic. I’m only annoyed it took me so long to realise it.’ She grabbed her bag from the floor, pulled out the engagement ring and placed it down on the kitchen side. ‘It’s over.’

  Abandoning her lunch, Ellie skittered out of the room, a sudden release of adrenaline coursing like a torrent through her body.

  ‘Look, come here,’ Dominic coaxed, following her into the hallway. ‘It’s sexy that you’re jealous of Scarlette, but I’m not interested in her. You’re the only one for me.’

  He grabbed her arm but she shrugged him off.

  ‘Don’t touch me.’

  ‘For God’s sake, Ellie, all I get from you these days is whining. I’m not putting up with this when we’re married.’