by Sarah Picson
With the taste of Ellie still on his lips, tears formed in his eyes, as the enormity that he might finally be moving on hit him hard.
Chapter 25
Ellie scratched her head and stared in disbelief at the eye-watering rental prices of one-bedroom flats in Thistleby. There wasn’t a single one she could afford if she had to pay her share of the rent on the cottage too.
She’d spoken to the estate agent yesterday and he had informed her that there was a break clause on their fixed-term joint tenancy agreement, but she would need to get Dominic to agree to it.
Ellie flung herself out of her chair and paced up and down her empty classroom, more determined than ever to untangle herself from her life with Dominic. She just had to figure out a way how.
It had taken every fibre of strength she had to tell Robert that they needed to slow things down, even though his respectful acceptance of the situation had made her want to bury herself in his arms even more. Her finger grazed her lips, she could get addicted to having him kiss her the way he had done twice this week.
But these rental prices were ridiculous! And she’d only just got off the phone to the garage, wincing at how much the bill would be to fix her car; not only did the alternator need replacing, but they’d found a dozen other things that needed attention too.
Ellie glanced up at the clock and shut the lid of her laptop down, keen to allow enough time to catch the next bus into Thistleby to collect her car from the garage.
She had almost left the building, when a solemn voice echoed off the walls of the corridor around her.
‘Miss Saunders?’
Ellie turned to find Ted stood in the doorway of his office.
‘I’m glad I caught you. May I have a quick word?’
‘Of course.’
A large slab of a desk sat in front of the only window in his office. Two grey filing cabinets stood along one wall and the only light came from a tall, glaring lamp on his desk. Faint music drifted down from somewhere that Ellie couldn’t locate at first, but then she saw a small black radio sitting up high on a shelf; soft violins floating out onto the air. With swift fingers, Ted switched it off.
‘Please sit, Miss Saunders,’ he said, gesturing to the chair across the desk from him, that was usually reserved for unruly students.
He stood for a few moments with his back to her, silhouetted in the window in his dark suit. Ellie tried to curb her growing impatience.
‘I need to catch a bus soon,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to pick my car up from the garage.’
He turned to face her, his fingers curling and uncurling at his sides in a way that made Ellie sit up a little straighter in her chair.
‘Some information has come to light, Miss Saunders, that has both surprised and disappointed me.’
‘Has it?’
‘I run a very tight ship here at Thistleby High School. We have an unequivocal duty to our children and to their parents and it is imperative that we maintain the highest of standards.’
‘Yes, I’m well aware of that.’
‘Then you understand how shocked I was to learn of your indiscretion with the father of one of our pupils,’ he said, his lip curling up. ‘A pupil that you are currently teaching.’
Ellie’s jaw slackened and she blinked up at Ted.
‘I’m…I’m not sure I understand.’
‘Mr Finch. Abigail’s father. I understand you are seeing him.’
A sudden numbness gripped her.
‘We’ve developed a friendship, that’s all. What exactly have you heard?’
Ted’s sharp eyes narrowed.
‘I’ve had a phone call from a concerned parent, which I have to take seriously.’
‘A phone call about what?’
She was half out of her chair now.
‘Miss Saunders, to be having a personal relationship with the parent of a student you are currently teaching is unacceptable by my standards.’
‘I’m not having a relationship with Abi’s father,’ she insisted.
‘You deny that you’ve seen him outside of school, without Abi being present, and in a compromising situation?’
Ellie’s eyes stretched wider.
‘A compromising situation, what does that even mean?’ Ellie stuttered.
Ted speared her with a look he usually reserved for their most disobedient students.
‘A parent saw you in an embrace with Mr Finch in Thistleby High Street. Do you see what an untenable situation this puts me in, Miss Saunders?’
His words sucked the breath out of Ellie and she deflated back in her chair, her mind turning in circles. She gripped the arms of the chair and pulled herself up.
‘Look, this is being turned into something it’s not,’ Ellie said.
Ted pursed his lips and clasped his hands behind his back.
‘Your private life is none of my business but when the lines blur, as they do in this situation, I must take action. What would other parents say if they found out? They might think you favoured Abi above their children. And what if this became common knowledge throughout the school with people gossiping and laughing? It would lower our standards, Miss Saunders, that’s what it would do. I have no choice but to issue you with a verbal warning.’
‘What?’ she cried.
‘It will go on your file, of course, which is a shame because up until now it has been exemplary. And I will of course also have to inform the Teaching Regulation Agency.’
Ellie sprang from her chair.
‘Ted!’
‘If they conclude that your behaviour constitutes unacceptable professional misconduct, then they may decide to conduct an investigation. If that happens, then you will be subject to an interim prohibition order while the investigation is carried out.’
‘I won’t be able to teach,’ she whispered.
‘Precisely.’
‘This is completely unnecessary!’
‘I suggest you take some time to think about your behaviour and how it reflects on this institution, Miss Saunders. Now, if I remember correctly, you have a bus to catch.’
Ellie stumbled from Ted’s office, unable to stand the righteous indignation shining from his face for a moment longer. With wobbly legs, she tore out of the building, her brain swirling with unanswered questions: who had seen them together on Tuesday evening? What exactly had they seen?
From what Ellie could remember, the street had been empty, but then even if someone had been there, she probably wouldn’t have noticed them, she’d only had eyes for Robert.
Tears bubbled up in her eyes as she got on the bus and stared blindly out of the window, the residential roads of Thistleby rolling by in a blur. Ted’s bleak words haunted her; the one constant in her life recently had been her job and now it was threatened. If Ted’s aim had been to scare her, he had succeeded.
She slid a hand down her face. Not only did she love her job, but right now she needed it more than ever if she wanted to distance herself from Dominic. And what did all this mean for her blossoming relationship with Robert? With a hiss of brakes, the bus came to a halt at her stop.
~
With a heavy hand, Ellie passed over her credit card to the man in the garage, as he clocked up an amount for almost seven hundred pounds. Her car started first time, but this didn’t make her feel any better, as she pulled out into the high street. A car coming the other way beeped her and Ellie realised she’d forgotten to turn her headlights on. As the bright beams lit up the road ahead, she caught sight of someone sitting on the pavement in the darkness, their back up against a shuttered shop, hunched over and shaking. There was something familiar about them.
Ellie pulled her car over and approached the crying figure; bitter, muffled sobs spluttering up into the night sky.
‘Abi?’
Abi’s head shot up. She was shivering in a light jacket, short skirt and thin tights, mascara smeared down her pale cheeks. Her eyes darted around as she wiped her nose on the sleeve of her jacket.
‘What’s going on?’ Ellie asked, sitting down next to her. ‘Are you hurt?’
Abi shook her head and hugged her knees tighter into her body.
‘I’m just stupid.’
‘Stupid?’
A bitter laugh burst from her lips.
‘Yes, stupid, to think that I was friends with them, that I was part of their group. Stupid.’
‘Are you talking about Leonie?’
‘All of them,’ Abi said. ‘I thought they liked me, but all they were interested in was money.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘Oh, it doesn’t matter,’ Abi moaned, burying her face in her hands.
‘It clearly does, Abi. You can talk to me.’
Slowly, Abi raised her head and looked at Ellie with weary eyes.
‘I thought they…I mean I was sure I was their friend; they were so cool at first,’ Abi said, her breath short and uneven ‘But when they invited me out with them, they’d always want me to pay for stuff. They kept saying that I must have loads of money because my dad has a nice car and we live in a big house and when they came over they would say rude stuff to Moira, treating her like a servant. Then they started making me pay for all of them. For everything. To go bowling or to the cinema. If I didn’t, they wouldn’t let me come.’
Ellie sighed.
‘So that’s why you were asking your dad for all that money?’
Abi’s eyebrows crept up her forehead.
‘You know about that?’
‘Your dad mentioned it to me.’
‘He told you I’ve been asking for money?’ Abi said, her head rearing back.
‘Only because he’s worried.’
A croak ripped from the back of Abi’s throat.
‘Dad hasn’t been giving me so much money lately and because I didn’t bring enough to pay for all the pizzas tonight, they just left me here. They didn’t really like me at all.’
Abi burst into fresh sobs and Ellie threw her arm over her shoulder and hugged her close.
‘Oh, Abi, don’t let them get to you like this. Next week at school I want you to sit at the front of the class next to Rory.’
‘Rory is nice,’ Abi said, looking up at her through watery eyes. ‘He invited me to his house to study but I didn’t go because Leonie told me he was lame and didn’t have any friends. I’m so stupid.’
‘You’re not stupid,’ said Ellie, pushing Abi’s hair back from her face. ‘Far from it! Now, come on, let’s get you home. And I think it’s time you told your dad about all of this.’
She felt Abi stiffen.
‘He’ll be so mad.’
‘I think he needs to know what’s been happening, Abi. He cares about you.’
‘Maybe,’ she said, sniffing. ‘He’s been kind of different lately.’
‘Oh, really?’ Ellie said.
‘Yes, just wanting to do more stuff with me, I guess. And I actually caught him singing to himself the other day,’ Abi said, with a grimace. ‘He has a terrible voice.’
‘Singing?’ Ellie said, trying to suppress a weak smile as she pulled a tissue from her pocket and handed it to Abi.
‘You’re really nice, Miss Saunders.’
‘Call me Ellie tonight.’
~
It was Robert who opened the front door and Ellie savoured the delight that jumped into his eyes as he saw her, but then Abi shuffled out from behind her and his face fell.
‘I gave Abi a lift home from town,’ Ellie explained. ‘She wants a chat with you.’
‘Abi? Are you okay?’ he asked.
‘I need something to drink,’ Abi whispered, as she slipped into the house.
Robert watched his daughter shuffle down the hallway, before turning back to Ellie.
‘Thank you for bringing her home. Do you know what happened?’
‘It’s nothing too serious, don’t worry, but I found out why she’s been asking you for money. It’s probably best if she explains what’s been happening though.’
‘I don’t know how to thank you,’ he said.
His hands twitched at his side as if he might reach out to her and Ellie’s breath caught in her throat.
For a moment, nothing else existed in the world, apart from the two of them facing one another in the hallway.
‘You’ve already thanked me,’ Ellie said, curving her lips into the briefest of smiles.
She turned to go, her fingers hovering over the door handle, Ted’s accusatory words like needles in her skin. She knew she should speak to Robert about her conversation with Ted, but she didn’t know what to say. A wave of nausea rolled over her; to think that one perfect kiss might jeopardize her job. Her head drooped forward under the weight of her confusion.
‘Ellie?’ Robert’s deep voice was right behind her. His hands caressed her shoulders and she leaned back into him, letting his arms encircle her. ‘Ellie,’ he murmured, his lips in her hair.
‘I need to talk to you about something, Robert,’ she said, her trembling fingers pushing him gently away.
A heat surged into her cheeks as his inquisitive eyes scanned her face.
‘Is something wrong?’ he asked. ‘You don’t seem yourself. Has something happened with…?’
He broke off abruptly.
‘No, no,’ she said, filling in the awkward silence, and realising that for the first time in a while, Dominic wasn’t her most pressing problem. ‘It’s about something that happened at work today.’
‘Okay,’ Robert said, running a hand through his hair. ‘Do you mind if I go and check on Abi first? I won’t be long.’
‘Of course,’ Ellie said, and watched him stride away down the hall.
‘Ellie! It’s not Thursday again so soon, is it?’ Moira asked, as Ellie drifted into the kitchen. ‘Fancy staying for dinner? I’m cooking a stew.’
Ellie’s stomach spasmed in agreement as she inhaled the hearty smell of beef and carrots; the warmth of the kitchen seeping into her skin, but Ted’s words still rang in her ears.
‘Not tonight, Moira.’
‘Can I get you a cup of tea then? You look under the weather.’
‘I’d better not, I just dropped Abi home. She’s been having trouble with some children at school. I hope she feels better soon.’
‘Ah, I suspected something was wrong, poor girl, but she’ll be fine. She’s got a dad who loves her.’
‘It’s such a shame about her mum,’ Ellie said, all of her own problems flung into perspective. ‘Abi must miss her so much. A girl needs her mum at that age.’
Moira stopped stirring the pot on the hob.
‘I agree. Are you sure you won’t stay for dinner?’
Ellie nodded, a sudden wave of tiredness rolling over her. She began backing out of the kitchen. The heat, which moments ago she’d found so comforting, now made her want to shed her skin, and the low murmur of Robert’s voice from the living room, caused an ache deep within her.
‘In fact, I think I should head off. I can talk to Robert another time if he’s busy with Abi. I’ll just use the bathroom, if that’s okay?’
‘Of course,’ Moira said. ‘You know where it is.’
Ellie slipped into the small downstairs bathroom and splashed cold water over her face. Gripping the sides of the sink, she let out a deep breath. The rasp of a telephone rang out in the house and she had only opened the bathroom door a crack when she heard Moira’s voice.
‘Robert! I’ve got a call for you. It’s about Jane.’
Ellie’s entire body went rigid. Her fingers clutched at the door handle to stop it opening any further.
‘I’ll take it in my study,’ Robert called, his footsteps passing by inches from where she remained hidden in the bathroom.
After a minute or so, Ellie eased the door open to be greeted by an empty hallway. Her gaze sought out Robert’s study, and a force beyond her control carried her feet forward. An alarm bell was clanging about somewhere in the back of her brain and even though she knew she shouldn’t,
she hovered outside the half-open study door.
As soon as Ellie heard Robert’s voice, she clenched her teeth and began to turn away, annoyed at herself for even thinking of eavesdropping on his phone call, but when he spoke, the weight of his words seemed to strike her across the body.
‘So, Jane’s not badly hurt?’ Ellie’s stomach did a ferocious somersault. ‘A few bruises? What on earth happened?’
Ellie’s throat became tight and dry; incomprehension causing her to reel back a few steps.
‘I see,’ Robert said, with a deep sigh. ‘Well, I’m glad it isn’t more serious. I’ll come and see her first thing tomorrow morning.’
Ellie’s face twisted up in confusion.
‘And tell her, tell her…’ he said, with a brief pause. ‘Tell her that I love her. Tell her that Abi loves her and we’re thinking of her.’
Ellie blinked rapidly and gasped for breath, as if all the air had been sucked from the hallway.
She groped for something to hold on to, as images of Robert sweeping her into his arms outside the cinema flashed before her eyes, and how his hands had seared a heat through her clothes in his car last night. But his wife was alive; he loved her and he was going to visit her tomorrow. Suddenly nothing made sense.
And then only one thing did make sense. Ellie’s hand flew to her mouth: she was the other woman. She felt as if someone had reached in and wrenched her heart out of her body, and the only thing she was certain of was the overwhelming need to get out of his house.
Robert pulled open the door of his study and stopped dead as he caught sight of her.
‘Ellie?’
She couldn’t bring herself to say anything, he was like a stranger to her. Shaking, all she could do was stare at Robert, anger bubbling up within her.
‘Ellie, are you okay?’
And then as she stood watching him, understanding dawned across his features and his eyes darted towards his study.
‘Ellie,’ he said, taking a step towards her.
She backed away.
‘You’re married,’ Ellie croaked.
She was having trouble stringing any more words together in a sentence.
‘Ellie,’ he said, holding his hands out to her. ‘I’m not sure what you heard when I was on the phone, but if we could just talk about it. I can explain everything.’