The Princess of Chaos

by Candice M. Wright

  When I step inside and see her on the floor sitting cross-legged looking sad and dejected, I kind of wish she had launched something at me.

  I sit down in front of her, mimicking her position. Sliding my finger under her chin, I lift her head so she has to look at me.

  “I’m not good at relationships. I’ve never seen a healthy one to emulate. I’ve never really aspired to be in one and like everything else I lay my hand on lately, I’m failing spectacularly.”

  “We’re not even really in a relationship, Grim, at least not yet, so you haven't failed at anything. Did you ever think that we just might be incompatible? I’m not ever going to be one of those girls that will change who she is to fit the mold you're trying to squeeze me into. I’ve spent too long growing strong to let someone make me feel small again.”

  “I don't want to change you or make you feel small. It guts me that I made you think that. I’m a dick, Megan, I’m sorry,” I tell her, wishing she could hear the sincerity in my voice.

  She appears shocked for a second like she never imagined I would apologize. She's right, I’m not the kind of guy that says sorry. I don't believe it changes anything, it's just a way of easing your guilt, but looking into her startling blue eyes, I realize I am truly sorry I hurt her.

  “You guys are having a party and fail to invite me? I’m wounded.” I glance up and see Zero staring down at us. His words are casual but I don't miss the tick of his jaw as he takes in Megan's demeanor. He sits beside us and looks at me before focusing on Megan.

  “So, what did I miss?” he asks her.

  “Grim was just telling me how much of a dick he is,” she quips, making him laugh at my expense.

  “Well, at least he’s honest. Grim’s the biggest dick I know.” I shove the fucker, making him topple over. He moves to shove me back but we both freeze when Megan's light laughter catches our attention.

  “He did apologize though, so I guess he’s not as big of a dick as he thinks he is,” she says, making something warm in my chest.

  “Did he now?” he questions, looking at me. I’m about to answer when the door slams open, banging against the wall, making Zero and me whip around to find an angry Viper storming over to us.

  “You let him touch you?” he yells at her, making the bubble of guilt that had begun to shrink explode all over me.

  She looks at him, startled by his appearance and confused by his words.

  “What? You said you, Zero, and Grim. You said that.” She thinks he’s talking about me and her in the kitchen earlier. But when she turns to look at me, she must see the guilt on my face. She looks back up at Viper. He barks down at her.

  “You let that motherfucker Jax put his hands on you? You are our old lady. Nobody touches you but us. Do you understand me, Megan? Stay away from him.”

  She looks at me, her face filled with hurt and anger and perhaps, worst of all, disappointment. She climbs to her feet, ignoring Viper and his outburst, and walks off towards the bedroom. Viper starts to follow her but Zero grips his arm.

  “That’s enough, Vipe,” he tells him, his voice firm.

  Viper seethes. “She let her ex-boyfriend, Jax-fucking-Lewis, of all people, touch her.”

  “She gave him a hug. She didn’t drop to her knees and suck his fucking cock. You two are so fucked in the head that you can’t see past your own shit. You keep pushing your issues onto her when she has done nothing to deserve it. We will lose her before we've even been given a real shot if you guys can’t get your shit together,” Zero snaps, losing his patience.

  “She’s not going anywhere,” Viper growls. Zero’s words are not penetrating Viper’s cloak of anger, but they get through to me.

  “There are more ways to lose someone than physically. If you carry on, you’ll snuff out the fun-loving, vivacious girl she tries to hide inside herself, leaving you with the quiet, withdrawn, sad little girl from years ago. If that's what you want, then I’ll send her back to Carnage myself because I refuse to be a part of it,” Zero bites out.

  Whatever Viper’s response was going to be is cut off by the reappearance of Megan stomping towards us with a large shoebox in her hands.

  “You want to know why I talk to Jax? Why I let him put his hands on me? Well, let’s start at the beginning, huh?”

  Slipping her hand inside the box, she grabs item after item and throws them one by one at Viper.

  “Here’s a picture of my mother and me. The only one I have before she sacrificed herself to save me just like she did every day of my life. Here’s the address of the foster home I was placed in when I got booted from Chaos. It’s also the address I ran from when the father tried to get handsy with me. Here’s a flyer for the bakery I used to frequent. Not the inside though, the dumpster behind it, looking for discarded food because I was so hungry my body was eating itself from the inside out. Oh, here.” She throws a bottle of pills at him. They bounce off his chest and scatter across the floor. “These are the same kind of pills I swallowed when I finally decided this life just wasn't worth living anymore.” The tears are streaming down her face now, her pain and words lancing wounds into my skin that will never heal.

  “Here's the hospital ID bracelet I wore when Jax sat beside me every single day until I was mentally strong enough to leave. I’m here because that stubborn ass refused to let me quit. He gave me the tools to help me build myself back up after a lifetime of being torn down, and I won’t give him up for any of you. I have given up everything, over and over again. Yet, despite it all, I built a life for myself. Do you really hate me so much that you want to come in here like a wrecking ball and destroy that?”

  Viper storms over to her, ignoring Zero calling his name. She backs up, placing the shoebox on the chair beside her, preparing to run, but Viper is faster. He wraps his arms around her and holds tight as she thrashes. He walks to the sofa and drags her onto his lap, holding her in place until she stops struggling. Zero and I crowd around them. I crouch down and tuck her hair behind her ear. She watches me warily and it breaks my heart.

  “You're right. You are absolutely right. These are our issues, not yours. We’ll work on it, I promise. Don't give up on us just yet, okay? This is all new to us and, well, we’re men.” I shrug, hoping for a laugh but sigh when I don’t get one.

  Viper loosens his hold, letting her sit up, but stops her from leaving his lap. A little frustrated sigh escapes her lips, which sounds adorable. I don't tell her that though. I like my dick attached to my body, thank you very much.

  “My ex fucked around with anything that had a pulse while I was deployed. I thought we were happy, but the girl she pretended to be in her letters was far from who she really was. I found that out when I came back and turned up at her place unannounced. Turns out I’m the one that got surprised. She was heavily pregnant with a kid that obviously wasn’t mine and had two more with her under five. She didn’t even look ashamed, admitted straight up that she kept me on a string because of the money I sent her. I swore off relationships after that. Until you.”

  We all watch her silently while she absorbs his words before I speak again, breaking the silence.

  “That was a lot of information you just threw at us there, Megan. Care to elaborate?” I ask her.

  She shakes her head but Viper tightens his hold again, making her curse.

  “You won't let me leave until I tell you, will you?” She sounds resigned.

  “I’ll never let you go, Megan,” Viper tells her, sounding like the psychotic stalker he is.

  “Fine, whatever.” She shakes her head and starts talking.

  Chapter Eleven

  Megan

  This seems to be the theme of my life at the moment. Wake up, everything is good, then bam! The day takes a major nosedive. They want the nitty-gritty details, fine. I’m not ashamed that I hit rock bottom. Quite the opposite, actually. I clawed myself out of hell one bloody fingernail at a time. How many people can say that they faced their demons and survived?

  �
��After the attack, I woke up in the hospital with no hearing and a matching set of dead parents. I was sixteen years old and despite the fact I had aged overnight, in the eyes of the law, I was a minor. Chaos didn't want me—Rock made that clear when he dropped off a box of my mother’s things. I got placed in a foster home with an older couple. The wife, Jan, wanted the extra cash. The husband wanted a teenage girl under his roof and under his control. I was so fucking sick of overzealous men thinking they could just take whatever they wanted. He snuck into my room the first night I got there. Luckily enough, the wife disturbed him before he could take it too far. I ran before I had to fight him off a second night.

  “Life on the streets is hard on anyone. But for an underweight, scared, deaf girl who couldn't bear to be touched, it was a fucking nightmare. For two years I dodged gangs and thugs while trying to find enough food to keep me alive.”

  Grim sweeps the hair from my face. “Jesus Christ, baby. Why didn't you tell Rock what was going on? Or your fucking brothers? Where the fuck were they when you needed them?” Grim asks, pulling his own hair in frustration.

  “My brothers didn't know I existed until the day Stokey showed up here. The first time I laid eyes on Logan—I mean Orion—I was locked in the cells below the Carnage clubhouse.”

  Zero taps my leg to get my attention. “So you don’t even know them?” he asks, shocked.

  “Not really. And then you guys took me so I might never get that chance.”

  Viper tips my head up to look at him. “We’ll figure that out, Megan, I swear. It will just take some time,” he vows. I hope that’s a promise he can keep. “Why didn't you tell Rock? He could have done something.”

  I give him a sad smile before continuing. “With no phone? I couldn't go back to Chaos, that had been made clear. Besides, it didn't matter in the end,” I huff with a shake of my head.

  “It does fucking matter. He could have helped, he could have—”

  I cut off Viper’s rant with my own words. “He knew. I didn't realize it at the time, but he knew. The day I turned eighteen, he found me asleep in an old warehouse I sometimes stayed at and told me I was now old enough to access my trust fund.”

  “That doesn't mean he knew—”

  I shake my head. “He told me he had been keeping an eye on me but now I would have enough money to disappear.”

  Nudging my thigh with his elbow Grim asks, “Keeping an eye on you? Is he for real?”

  Zero snags my attention as he jumps up and starts pacing, before turning to face me with his hands on his hips. “Fucking hell! Anything could have happened to you, fucking anything, and he stood by and did nothing,” he yells, making my face soften at his words.

  “Chaos forbade it. It was voted on, apparently,” I remind him in what I hope is a soothing tone.

  Viper turns my head back to face him once more. “He was the president. He had the power to change that. But even taking Chaos out of the equation, as a man, a man who watched you grow and was well aware of what happened to you, he should have damn fucking well made sure at the very least you had somewhere safe to lay your head at night. I’ll be dealing with him my fucking self.” He gives me a stern look, letting me know it’s pointless to argue with him so I sigh in defeat.

  “Anyway, I took the money and bought this place outright. I had a safe place to live, a place to work, and food whenever I wanted it. That’s when I decided to work on me. I… I was lonely,” I admit, feeling silly, dipping my head to hide my embarrassment.

  “Don't do that,” Viper tells me after lifting my chin once more so I have no choice but to look into his eyes. “You don't have one single thing to feel embarrassed about.”

  I give him a nod and carry on, twisting my fingers in my lap. “I made two friends who I met on the streets, but they were battling their own demons and I didn’t want to add to their problems so I just told them I was okay. And I was, for the most part.

  “I tried to make more friends but I just couldn't handle being touched. I felt so stupid but then this woman came in here and mentioned Sinners. She said they were all about anonymity and they could cater to most wishes.

  “I figured I had nothing left to lose and signed up. I jumped through the hoops needed, did all the testing they required, and sat through the interviews. Funnily enough, that should have been where I would have first met Jax but he was out of the country that week. Anyway, long story short, my first time there, I freaked, had a full-blown panic attack, and Jax appeared out of nowhere and coaxed me through it. I don’t know why but I told him everything, just leaving anything Chaos related out of it, and he decided he was going to help me.

  “And he did. It was a slow process though, and loneliness can be a cruel bitch. One Christmas morning, I found myself alone once more and decided I just didn't want to do this anymore. I was a shell of a person and figured nobody would miss me if I was gone and then maybe, just maybe, the pain would stop.” Nobody speaks as I reveal the utter despair that haunted me and nearly took me away from them before we ever got the chance to know each other.

  “Jax turned up out of the blue when he found out that Wyatt and Viddy couldn’t make it and I’d be alone on Christmas. He found my address on file and decided to check on me. He saved my life, then spent an awful long time reminding me it was worth living.”

  Grim’s hand falls heavily on my shoulder, gaining my attention.

  “You became friends, then lovers, then more?” he asks, making me nod with a fond smile. “So, what happened? How come you aren't together anymore?” he questions.

  “I couldn't give him what he needed and I didn’t want him to try and change who he is for me. We would both end up miserable. I loved him enough to let him go but he will always be one of my best friends.”

  Viper slides his hand under my jaw so I look at him before asking the question that I’m sure is on the tip of all their tongues. “What did he need?”

  “Someone submissive, not just in the bedroom, but in general. He needs to be able to take care of someone, to anticipate their needs before they even know themselves what they want. I guess with how I was when he first met me, it seemed I might have some submissive traits, but as I got stronger and healthier mentally, it became clear that the only place I could be submissive was in the bedroom. Even then, it's hit or miss. I can be bossy as fuck too.”

  Viper laughs and a quick scan of the other two shows them grinning too, making me smile again, despite the heavy subject matter.

  “Anyway, if you’re worried there is some kind of competition between you guys and him, don't. He might tease you—no, he will tease you, it's just who he is, but Jax and I will never be anything more than friends. I haven't asked you for anything since you took me from my family and brought me back here.” Viper flinches at my words even though there is no accusation in them.

  “So I’m asking you now for just one thing.” I focus on Viper, staring at his handsome face.

  “What?” he asks.

  “I’m asking you to trust me. I’m here with you three. I’m willing to see how this thing between us unfolds but I need you to have a little faith in me or we’re doomed before we've even begun.

  “I’m not your ex,” I tell Viper. “Or your mother,” I add, looking at Zero before turning to Grim. “And I’m not your sister. I’m just Megan. I’ve made mistakes, for sure, but I won’t pay for someone else’s or for yours.”

  They don’t speak as they think over what I’ve said, but I’m right. I know it, and I can see that they do too.

  “Okay, Raven. We’ll work on it,” Viper pledges when he’s sure he has my attention again.

  “So, I’m Raven again now, huh?” I tease.

  “You are when you get those claws out for sure,” he snarks with a smile, making me elbow him in the ribs.

  “Be nice or I’ll claw those pretty little eyes out of your face,” I sass, sticking my tongue out at him which, of course, he takes advantage of by slamming his lips down over mine.

&nb
sp; How we can go from fighting to fucking is beyond me, but as his hands snake their way under my top, I realize I’m perfectly okay with it.

  Unfortunately, he pulls away and looks towards the door, making me turn in his arms to spot Kaz standing in the doorway.

  “Sorry, guys, but, Megan, you have a couple of customers down there looking for you.” I wilt in frustration. Just when we were getting to the good stuff, dammit.

  “Okay, I’m coming. Thanks, Kaz.” He nods and heads back downstairs as I try to crawl off Viper’s lap but his hold on me is unrelenting.

  “Viper?” I question, looking up at him.

  “You just told Kaz you were coming. Let's make that happen so you can get downstairs.” He grins at me lasciviously, making me squirm before the meaning behind his words makes sense. By then it's too late, he’s already summoned Zero and Grim with nothing more than a nod of the head.

  It’s about that time I realize these are no ordinary bikers. No, these guys must have some kind of superpower. It’s the only way I can explain how I blinked and, boom, my clothes disappeared. Now I’m standing before them naked as they circle me like some virgin sacrifice that’s ready for defiling.

  “Do you have any idea just how fucking spectacular you are, Megan?” Viper asks, moving his eyes from my face down to my breasts.

  “Um… yes. No. Maybe,” I babble. “I don’t know.” I throw up my hands. “But you should definitely, absofuckinglutely show me. Just not while I have a shop full of customers,” I protest, backing away. I soon find myself up against a wall of muscle.

  Being as I can see Viper and Zero, I know its Grim’s hands that pull my arms behind my back, making my chest stick out in a silent offering.

  “Better let us get to work then, Raven, or everyone will wonder what’s keeping you,” Zero suggests, stepping forward and cupping my right breast with his rough hands.