Forgiven (The Power of Three Love Series Book 4)

by Leigh Lennon

After my declaration, we sat in a silent and awkward lull, waiting for the return of Jack, who really was my unsung hero in all of this. The pain I’d carried around since that day was a form of bondage, the kind I never wanted to be a part of again, and now I felt freed from it all. But right then, I realized I would never fall out of love with Bodhi. It would be as constant as the love I was building with Jack.

  This book was becoming my nightmare. Some characters meshed, but Savannah and Bryant were not meshing, not on the pages, not together, and for some reason, I tended to write Bryant sweeter than he was supposed to be. Could this be a direct correlation to the love I was sharing with Jack? I had no idea, but this project was not going as smoothly as most. My publisher had promised that if this book did well, I’d be in line for a movie deal, and I could almost taste it.

  My mind was on their first kiss, the first real kiss when my phone started to ring. It would be Jack wanting to make plans for the night since Declan was with his dad. He knew I was on the verge of a breakthrough, and I’d call him back. But the phone kept ringing, and ringing, and when my text alerts continued, I ran to my phone, realizing this was something big. My heart fell at the thought something was wrong with Declan, and I smiled at Jack’s name on my screen.

  “Oh, hey, honey. I was in the middle of a scene—” I was cut off.

  “Clara.” His voice was rushed and nothing like the calm Jack I’d come to covet. “Bodhi’s been trying to get ahold of you. He caught me at my office. Declan’s on his way to Mercy. His insulin pump wasn’t working.”

  I was mute, not able to form a statement. “Sit tight, I’m coming to you,” he demanded.

  It was then I found my voice. “No, you’re twenty minutes away. We can meet there.”

  “Foxy, no, let—”

  “I’ll meet you there.” I ended the call, bounded down the stairs, and hailed a cab. I didn’t remember anything from the car ride until I crossed the double doors, and I wasn’t sure what I was witnessing, but it was Jack holding Bodhi. I dropped my bag because in my mind, if Jack was comforting my ex-husband, something was wrong with our son. Bodhi’s gaze caught mine as tears fell down my face. “No, it can’t be…”

  Bodhi came barreling toward me. “Clara, he’s okay. He’s stable, though they’re keeping him in ICU.” I was able to breathe again.

  Jack was behind me, his arms encompassing me, and Bodhi stood in front of the two of us. “I just saw you upset, and I…”

  Bodhi moved my hair from my face. “I was just…Hell, I’m sorry. I…”

  I put my index finger in front of his mouth. “No, I’m not upset. Hell, if you needed someone to decompress with, I understand.”

  “Shit, C, I was so fucking scared. His insulin pump failed, and I’ve never seen him that bad. It could have been anyone, a friendly face, Jack could have been Santa Claus…”

  I pulled back from Bodhi, falling against Jack, and the years I had lost came back to me in the form of laughter. “Thanks, asshole,” Jack jested. “Why don’t you go back and see Declan? I can’t go back with you, but I’m not leaving you tonight.” He turned me around, bringing me to his side. “I’m not leaving either one of you guys tonight.”

  Declan was curled up in the huge hospital bed, and my chair was so close to him, I was holding his hand. I was almost asleep when Bodhi’s familiar touch startled me. “C, why don’t you take the little sleeper sofa? I’ll stay up with him for a while.” It was on the tip of my tongue to argue, but my heavy eyes wouldn’t allow me.

  I leaped from the seat to the little bed he had set up. “Is Jack still here?” I asked.

  “Yeah, he’s a stubborn SOB. You know this, though.” I pulled the pillow close to me, but my eyes were on Bodhi, and how he’d been a rock for me since I’d walked in the hospital door. “Clara, I don’t want you to think I’m trying something with Jack. Though I can see why you fell for him.”

  I was so delirious that I began to chuckle, holding my belly. “I’m not sure if I should take this as a compliment or a threat.”

  His laughter filled the room, and he pulled me close to his body. It was the first time I’d felt at home; well, besides with Jack’s similar embrace. “C, I just want you happy.” The only problem was I was happy in both men’s arms.

  I woke when the nurses were taking his vitals. My poor little guy, he was so tired he was sleeping through it. “I’m running out to get coffee. Can you stay until I return?”

  The one nurse, who seemed to always be here with every emergency, gave me her consistent hopeful smile and squeezed his hand. “Sure, that’s no problem, ma’am.” I was positive she had better things to do than stay and play babysitter, yet she was sweet enough to remain until my return.

  I’d gotten a text from Jack that he’d slept in the waiting room, asking me if he could take me out for breakfast at the best cafeteria in town. His dry sense of humor had me giggling. I took one last look at my son in the huge hospital bed, my heart so full of love for my boy. I exited through the double doors of the ICU, about to round the corner when two familiar voices stopped me in my path.

  “You didn’t have to stay.” It was Bodhi’s voice, and he was speaking in the pitch he used on me whenever he wanted to be sweet. And it was like he’d spoken to me last night.

  “No place I’d rather be.” Jack’s return was just as sweet. I wanted to take a peek around the corner, but I didn’t want to interrupt this moment, and like yesterday, there wasn’t an ounce of jealousy within me.

  “Jack…” In the four letters that fell from his mouth, there was an unasked question and a little longing.

  “I know, I know. But I can care for you and not act on it. The bottom line, you’re a part of Clara’s life. I have restraint and willpower. But when it comes to Declan and Clara, I’m not going anywhere.” There was a pause. “And you, I care for you.”

  Neither man spoke and I waited a beat longer before I rounded the corner. Bodhi’s back was to mine, and Jack’s head was dipped, his hand on Bodhi’s shoulder. It was reaffirmed yesterday, and I wasn’t filled with the green monster. There wasn’t an overwhelming fear I’d be hurt at the end of the day. I loved seeing them a little too much. There was a sexiness about these two, and I could watch them both for longer than I’d care to admit.

  His head popped up, and Jack’s hand on Bodhi’s shoulder instantly dropped. “Foxy.” Jack’s greeting had Bodhi pushing away from their intimacy.

  “C…” His voice was strained. “Dec okay?”

  “Uh, yeah, he’s asleep.” I barely answered, and he was whipping past me, only to step back and drop a kiss on my forehead.

  “I’ll go hang out so you can take some time with your guy.” I wasn’t sure if I could swallow or breathe when his aroma of cinnamon and honey overwhelmed my nose. In the past three years, his aroma hadn’t changed.

  Jack watched Bodhi leave, but I walked toward him, almost attacking him, out of love. “You stayed.”

  He tipped my head to his stare. “I wasn’t leaving you.” But when he looked away, he locked back to our connection from just seconds ago. “Foxy, we need to talk.” And when his words slipped from his mouth, he watched my eyes. I wasn’t filled with dread because Jack was honest to a fault.

  “Want to get a coffee as we dissect this?” I asked. He shook his head and pulled at my hands, bringing me into his space and to the closest bench in the hallway.

  “My feelings are growing for Bodhi. I can’t hide it, and I won’t lie to you. But I love you, and I choose you.”

  I grabbed his shirt, pulling his lips to mine. It was my intention to devour him, but a thought occurred to me, and I had to be just as honest with him as he’d been with me.

  With a small little peck on his lips, I pulled back with a large smile on his face. “I love seeing you guys together.” I was never repulsed by the thought of Bo with a man; the issue was in the fact he didn’t trust our marriage enough to share it with me.

  His expression was neutral, but with my though
ts being communicated to him, his unbiased expression changed to a frown. “I don’t want to be attracted to him, foxy.”

  I believed him, when Jack continued, “We’re going to have to address it and soon. And I certainly didn’t miss how he so casually kissed your forehead.”

  He wasn’t mad. It was Jack’s matter-of-fact statement. “And it made you, what, Jack?”

  “It was innate, so easy. This is easy in a way, but hard as fuck to deny.” He rubbed the scruff on his jaw. It was so unlike Jack to have any hair on his chin. “I feel like I’m letting you down. Again, I won’t cross the line.”

  Did I want him to cross the line? Yeah, part of me wanted just that. “And what do we do if I want you to cross that line?”

  19

  Bodhi

  I don’t drink coffee. And I’d always swore, it never tasted like it smells. Yet, since I’d lost my mind, continuing to fall further for Jack, I drank the revolting shit anyway, to keep me awake. I’d been replaying my affection with Clara, but I hadn’t forgotten the way Jack pulled me into his hard body yesterday when he’d beat Clara to the hospital.

  “This seat taken?” The familiar voice of the object of my affection, well, the male object of my affection was in front of me.

  I didn’t have to look up to know who it was, but taking stock of his sharp cheekbones, deep indigo blue eyes, and the way his smile widened when I turned my face to his were just some of the reasons I was falling and falling quick for my ex-wife’s boyfriend.

  “You okay?” he asked, taking a seat. Though I hadn’t officially answered him, I wanted him more than to just sit with me.

  “Um, yeah, I am now.” Oh, shit, did I say that? I was crossing the lines, and what was worse, I wanted to. Not just with Jack, but with both Clara and him. “Oh, fuck, that was super inappropriate.”

  “But the truth?” Jack asked. Fuck, this man was always spot-on.

  “If it was, what could we do about it?” I replied in the form of a question.

  As quick as he had been seated, he stood. “There’s an endless supply of possibilities as long as you’re open to it.” He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, and it happened so quick, I wondered if this whole encounter monopolized out of thin air.

  It’d been two weeks since the ICU, and Declan’s insulin pump was working as it was supposed to. After the horror of watching his body go limp in my arms, I was grateful for every day I was a part of my son’s life. It was my three-day stint with Dec, and I couldn’t wait to spend this one-on-one time with him. To say Declan was my world was an understatement. I’d move heaven and earth for him.

  They were calling for snow, and a part of me had hope it would shower the streets with its whiteness. Just one week from Thanksgiving and I was ready for it.

  Declan had spent the night with Laura the previous day. Clara called me first before offering the night to her mother. She mentioned she wasn’t sleeping, and a total wreck that her new book was going to be a failure. It was all the same stuff we went through when we were married. I’d allowed Laura to take him since she was one hell of a grandma. My mom was great, but no one was like Laura Ashley.

  Walking out of my office, I received a text. I’d been expecting it all day to let me know when and where to pick up Dec.

  Clara: Hey, my mom is bringing Declan by my apartment. She’s having dinner with Jack and me tonight. Can you pick up Declan there?

  I missed Laura. She was a second mother to me, and sometimes, I loved her more than my own mom. She’d met Jack before but having dinner with Clara and her new boyfriend was another reminder I was no longer a part of her family. I was done wallowing in it. I’d accepted it, and it was time to move on.

  Me: Sure, see you around five, is that good?

  Clara: Yeah, I may be running a couple of minutes late, but Jack will be there.

  Fuck, would this ever stop stabbing me like a knife to the chest? It was like a double-edged sword. On one end, I loved Clara as much as I did the day we signed the divorce papers. But then there was Jack and the words he told me earlier about possibilities. I still had no idea what he meant.

  I didn’t reply to Clara as I made my way in the frigid temperature to her home. I’d be surprised if the snow held out until tomorrow morning.

  The double doors opened from the elevator. Jack was at Clara’s front door, pulling at keys and an elderly woman stepped off before me, calling for Jack.

  “Hello there, Mr. Calypso. Did you know it’s starting to snow out there? I tell you what, live in this city as long as I have. It’s going to cover us and very quickly, mark my words.”

  He stopped, turning his body to this woman, extending his hands to grab a sack of groceries out of her arms. “Yes, Mrs. Thompson, I think you may be right. I hope Clara gets home soon. Let me help you with this.”

  “Mr. Calypso, you’re a kind soul. I’m glad Ms. Ashley has found you. She deserves it after everything.” Jack’s eyes connected with mine, a silent apology to what this woman I’d never seen was alluding to.

  “You’re a kind person, too, Mrs. Thompson. Be sure to reach out to Clara or me if you need anything.” She disappeared into her home, her hands the only thing I could see when she reached for her groceries. The door closed, and Jack waved at me.

  “She didn’t know who you were,” he explained, but what could I do.

  “Yeah, but she was right.” I followed him into the apartment without anymore awkward exchanges. I watched as he took off his jacket and deposited it in the front closet along with his shoes. “Let me go change. Help yourself to something to drink. I’m going to start a pot of coffee,” he explained, and I was glad Clara had found someone who liked the gross, disgusting hot liquid.

  He didn’t have a bag in his hands, just his briefcase he’d also put in the closet. He was very comfortable in Clara’s space. Pulling a soda out of the fridge, I sat at the dining room table that was separated from the living room with an exposed brick wall. This was Clara’s style through and through where I was more a minimalist. Her home was full of knickknacks and décor that drove the less is more part of me to itch at all the crap she had out. It wasn’t tacky; it was quite beautiful and certainly part of Clara’s style.

  Looking out the windows at the snow following Mrs. Thompson’s prediction, I instantly worried about Laura and Declan. My concentration was on the weather and the safety of my son. Jack entered the room, interrupting my thoughts with his booming voice.

  “I guess Mrs. Thompson was correct.” His phone was near his ear, waiting for whoever was on the other end. He covered the receiver. “I’m calling Clara to make sure she’s going to get home before it starts getting bad.” He paused, his attention back on the phone. “Hey, foxy, just checking in on you.” I’ve heard him call her foxy before but really, couldn’t it have been sweetheart or babe? But foxy? Something about it caused the green monster that I’d tried to keep at bay to appear. Holding my can of soda tight, I started to squeeze it. But was I jealous of Jack having Clara or of Clara having Jack?

  “Oh, good, see you in ten minutes.” He waited. “Want me to share that?” He paused again. Was he talking about me? “Yeah, I agree. It’s for the best, if that’s what is safe for the two of them. Okay.”

  Setting down his phone, he turned his eyes to me. “Laura and Declan are safe, but it started to snow out in Aurora about an hour ago. Laura was about to leave, and she got three blocks and turned around because it was too icy. She’s going to keep Declan another night until it’s safe to drive.”

  Well, fuck, I was going to be alone tonight when my one comfort after this weird as fuck run-in was Declan. I’d already had the whole night planned, spending it watching the snow fall from my living room window, building Legos, and drinking hot chocolate with my favorite four-year-old.

  “I’m glad they’re safe.” But I’d miss my son, as I did every night he was not with me. I stood. There was no reason to stay, and I couldn’t stomach Clara and Jack together.

  �
�Actually, Clara asked if you could wait for her. She needed to talk to you about something.” Moving to the coffeemaker, he started with all the steps it took to make the vile drink. “Are you going to want a cup?”

  The words fell from my mouth, more tactless than I’d expected. “I hate the stuff with a passion,” I explained.

  “Really? That’s too bad.” Moving away from me, he returned with a beer. “Since you don’t have Dec here, you might as well drink something you enjoy.” My fingers connected with his, and the same spark that could have lit a forest fire almost two months ago was still fucking there, and in the flash of his eyes, he acknowledged it, sitting down adjacent from me.

  “So, I think we need to talk again.” He was a lawyer, so it didn’t surprise me the man wanted to dissect whatever this was between us.

  I, on the other hand, would forever avoid this topic and feigned ignorance as I took a long swig of the light beer he’d given me. Clara didn’t drink beer often, especially a pale ale, so this had to be his.

  “Like what?”

  Turning his watch over, he started, “This chemistry between us is only growing deeper with intensity, and now, Clara sees it plain as day.” Cocking my head to the side, I began to question him, but he lifted his hands at me, commanding me to stop. “You can knock off the whole what are you talking about shit because I’m not going to let our connection mess up what I have with Clara.”

  Moving my head to one side and then the other to work out any kinks, I sat quietly with nothing to say to him.

  “Okay, so apparently, I’m the one doing all the talking, but it’s fine.” Jack’s tone was even, as though he was about to begin an opening statement to a jury. “I’ve fallen in love with Clara. Your reluctance to have a real adult conversation with her when you two were married led to the demise of your marriage.”