by T L Swan
“You dumb ass, who do you think you are talking to?” I scream. He turns his back to me again and I know it’s to hide his face from me. “You can cut the act Joshua. Don’t try and fuck with me I’m a psychologist, remember. I know how your brain works better than you do.”
He turns and glares at me.” I don’t know what you are talking about,” he snaps.
“Oh really, you haven’t just tried to pull the ultimate deceit on me?”
He narrows his eyes. “I couldn’t help myself. She was attractive.” Ok, it’s official, I am going crazy. I burst into laughter. “You think this is about the other girl?” I laugh. He frowns at me but doesn’t speak. I walk over to him and go up close to his face.
“I know about the premeditated inception, you dumb fuck!” I scream.
He steps back in shock that I am onto him. “Inception?” he frowns.
“Inception means to plant an idea in another’s mind. What are you trying to plant in my mind, Joshua?” I angrily tap on the side of my head.
“Stop it,” he yells. “You don’t know what you are talking about!” he screams. I walk around him with my arms crossed in front of me, sizing him up. He looks like he’s about to run.
“You see, Joshua, you insult my intelligence if you think I don’t know what you have done.” He glares at me but doesn’t speak. “What are you trying to plant in my mind, Joshua? Hmm, let me think.” I run my pointer finger over my lip…Ok, I’m going for an Oscar…I frigging deserve one that’s for sure. “You’re unworthy of my love or you’re a sleazebag or maybe that you are just not good enough for me, huh, what is it?” He looks at me mortified as my words sink in. “Speak,” I yell. “Are you really that much of a coward that you can’t face the truth and you would rather force me to leave you?” He frowns and Adrian smiles and winks at me from where he stands behind Joshua. I bite my lip to stifle my smile. Ok, I’m on the right track. Adrian just confirmed it. “What are you afraid of Joshua? That I will leave you? That your stalker is going to kill me?” He frowns and I know hearing that point has made him unsettled. “You gutless prick. Even when I call you out you can’t tell the truth.” He glares at me and I know he wants to fight but is holding it in. If I can just push him that bit further. I smile a knowing smile.
“Actually I know what happened, Mummy dearest got to you didn’t she?”
“Shut up!” he yells. “Leave her out of this.”
I smile a conceited smile. “Yes, that’s exactly how it went, Margaret rang you and you run to make her happy. Once a mummy’s boy always a mummy’s boy. You make me sick. Did she pay for the photos?”
“Get the fuck out Natasha!” he yells.
I smile a sad smile. “And to think I actually thought you would protect me from her. What a joke. Come on we are going home.” He frowns and looks at Adrian.
“Move!” I yell. I see a bottle of water on his desk and pick it up and unscrew the lid as I talk.
“I told you. We are over, Natasha.”
“We are over when I say we are over and not a minute before, asshole. You don’t get to say how this ends and I will not be played into breaking up with you,” I snap as I start to pour the water on the keyboard of his computer. Adrian and he both scramble to get to me. “Is this computer important, Joshua?” I do wide eyes at him as I start to pour it on the monitor. “I’m not going anywhere until you come with me and I could do a lot of damage in here. You might want to think about that.”
“Just go man.” Adrian smiles as he slaps him on the back.
“Fuck off!” Joshua yells. “Get out of my fucking head, Natasha. I know what you are doing.” “Does it feel good to protect your mother, Joshua?”
He glares at me. “This has nothing to do with my mother.”
“Yes, it does,” I scream.
“I’m protecting you. You raving bitch,” he yells. Silence fills the room. His eyes widen at the realisation I have just tricked him into getting angry so he would speak unguardedly. I sit on his desk and smile.
“There it is. Bingo. Adrian can you leave us please.” Adrian smiles and walks over and kisses my forehead.
“Bye baby, love your work.” He grabs my hand and squeezes it before he leaves through the door. I lower my voice and pat the desk next to me.
“Come sit with me, Josh. What are you protecting me from?” He looks at the floor and won’t make eye contact with me.
“I’m not having this conversation, Natasha.”
“Then I’m not leaving. Come home with me and we can fight in private. You do realise that your workers are listening, right?” He frowns as he looks up to the door and realises that I’m right. I smile as he puts his jacket on.
“Come,” he holds his hand out for me and I grab it like an olive branch. The embarrassing thought that I have to go back through the office where I have just screamed fuck off to the valued employees makes my stomach turn and I pull back on Josh’s arm. He frowns at me.
“What,” he snaps.
“I just yelled fuck off to your receptionists.”
He smiles. “Why are you such a firecracker? Isn’t slapping my face enough aggression for one day.” Oh god, he had to bring that up didn’t he?
“Josh, if I see you kissing girls I can’t be held responsible for my actions.” He gives me a sad smile and nods.
“We need to talk presh because we can’t be together anymore.”
My heart drops. “Don’t say that Josh. Just take me home.”
He gives me a heavy smile and nods. “Let’s go then.”
We sit in silence on the way home. We stand in silence in the lift, and I have to say I’m feeling very nervous. I thought when I caught him out with the deception all would be ok. But it is becoming seemingly more likely that it won’t, he’s too controlled and too silent. We walk into my apartment and are immediately greeted by the sight of my new suitcase sitting in the centre of my living room. He frowns and looks at me.
“Going somewhere?”
“Um, yes, I’m going to LA on Friday to pick out a new house remember, or have you forgotten that too?” He nods and sits me on the lounge chair. He turns and faces the window as he puts his hands in his pockets.
“Natasha, I want you to go back to Christopher.” Horror dawns.
“What?” I gasp.
“I know he loves you and he will look after you.”
I immediately stand. “Josh, I don’t want Christopher, I only want you.” He keeps his back to me and I know it’s so I don’t see his face. I walk over and cuddle him from behind.
“Josh, what’s this about? Talk to me, I don’t understand.” He turns and cuddles me as he kisses the top of my head.
“Tash, I’m going to be honest with you because I love you and I want what’s best for you. I want you to hear me out before speaking.” I nod.
“I wasn’t with that girl last night. I was in the strip club for about ten minutes, picked her up and left. It was totally premeditated that the photos were taken. I didn’t realise that you knew me as well as you do and in hindsight it was a bad decision but I still think that we should break up.” Ok, now he’s scaring me.
“Josh,” I whisper as tears fill my eyes. “Don’t say that baby.”
“Hear me out, I can’t give you everything that you deserve. You have to give up everything to be with me,” he says deadpan as if running on autopilot.
I frown. “Josh, moving to the other side of the world is not giving up everything and besides I told you already as long as we are together I don’t care.”
“Tash, you have to give up your job, your friends and your family.” He looks down to the ground. “Motherhood,” he whispers. My eyes turn to saucers.
“This is about children?” I gasp. His haunted eyes come back up to meet mine and I know immediately that’s the reason. He needs to be sectioned, what in the hell is he on about? I burst a giggle and he looks at me in disgust.
“This is not funny, Natasha, not even close.”
“Josh, we have every opportunity to have children. There is only a one per cent increased risk in first cousins and the younger I am the risk goes down. I have researched this for years, you stupid man. Besides, I don’t care if we adopt or use a donor egg, whatever. As long as I get to mother your children I will be happy.” He swallows the lump in his throat but doesn’t speak. “Josh, it is not your role to protect me from you, I am not a high school girl giddy on love. I have thought long and hard about our relationship and I will not be with anyone else as long as I know you love me. So if you push me away in some hero act you will only be punishing me with a broken heart.”
“Tash, you don’t know what you are saying,” he whispers.
“Wouldn’t you prefer to be the man who looks after me and loves me and tucks me into bed every night?” My eyes search his. Nodding, he drops his eyes as he thinks.
“Josh, I am not letting you go. I love you too much to do that and you can’t ask that of me. It’s not fair that you have made this decision by yourself when it involves my future, what were you thinking? We have fought too hard already to be pulled apart now.” I grab his arms and wrap them around me and finally he relaxes into me and cuddles me, then he bends down to gently brush his lips over mine.
“Tash, I just need us to break up now if we are going to. It will break me in a few years if you decide that you hate America or the life I live and leave me. I won’t be able to handle it.”
I smile a broad smile. “Do you honestly think that you won’t be making any sacrifices to be with me?” He frowns, not quite understanding my meaning.
“No women or strip clubs and by the way if you pull a trick like you did last night I will kill you with my bare hands and a smile on my face.”
He smiles warmly as he pushes the hair off my forehead and nods. “Deal,” he whispers.
“I mean it Josh, postal. Like Silence of the Lambs–style killing.” He laughs out loud.
“Ok, I get it. Natasha, I didn’t know what to do, I knew I wasn’t strong enough to leave you and I knew you wouldn’t let me. You’re right. I am gutless. I tried to take the easy way out.” He hangs his head in shame.
“Yep,” I smile. “Totally,” I reply as I do wide eyes at him. I frown as I sum up the events.
“Why are you even thinking of babies and me, Josh?” I pause and smile. “Are you going to ask me to marry you?”
His eyes twinkle as he smirks, his head on an angle to the side as he watches me. “No, it doesn’t mean I am going to ask you to marry me.”
I frown in disappointment. “This is probably one of those times when you should shut up and look pretty then, Josh.”
He laughs. “Are you saying you want me to ask you to marry me?” He raises his eyebrows.
I smile and bite my lip. “No, I don’t want you to ask me to marry you.”
He fakes a cranky face. “Now you can shut up and look pretty.”
“Actually I already look pretty and I think you need to be punished,” I smirk.
His eyes shoot up to mine. “Punished,” he repeats.
“Yes I just told you I’m not a giddy schoolgirl and you didn’t bat an eyelash, are you saying I’m an old boiler?”
He laughs again. “Old boiler,” he repeats as he raises an eyebrow. I nod as I smile and he shakes his head. “I’m not saying that at all. What I am saying, though, is that you’re a beautiful slut who is too good for me,” he whispers as he runs his whiskers down the length of my neck. I bite my lip to stifle my smile.
“Way out of your league, Stanton.”
He smiles. “And do pray tell who is in your league, Miss Marx?” His hands run down the length of my body to my behind and he pulls me onto his rock–hard erection. His eyes drop to my lips as he cracks his neck. Why do I find that so damn arousing?
I shrug and act nonchalant. “I don’t know, Jo Manginello or Henry Cavill, Thor, James Bond you know the type, all dominant and hot like.”
He licks his lips and then smirks. “Are you gagging to be punished, Miss Marx, by teasing me with interest in other men?”
I open my mouth to feign shock. “Me?” I smile.
“Yes, you. If it’s domination you want then I’m only too happy to serve it up,” he growls and picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. “Out of my league, let me initiate you into my league, Miss Marx.” He marches down the hall to our bedroom and he kicks open the door. “There’s a reason your name has an X in it,” he growls as he slaps me hard on the behind before he throws me onto the bed. I lie back as he rips my pants down and my shirt over my head so violently he nearly rips them. I am panting as anticipation seeps through my bones, my head lies back as he spreads my legs and looks down at my glistening sex, his mouth slightly open. He cracks his neck hard. Mmm. He looks up at me and without taking his eyes off mine he slowly undresses. His body is hard everywhere and my eyes drop to his perfect manhood and my name burnt into his side. This is desire…pure unadulterated lust. I feel the familiar rush of moisture as he opens my legs to his gaze and swipes his fingertips through me, his breath catching at the contact. How did I get here? So totally in love and lust with this magnificent beast. And he is a beast, even if I wanted to back out I know he would take me anyway. Just the thought of his domination over my body has me weeping for him and eager to please him. He bends and runs his whiskers up the inside of my thigh until he gets to my centre and without taking his eyes from mine he runs his tongue through my creamy arousal. He lifts my legs over his shoulders and then he is in me, his tongue unleashed. Oh damn, he’s good at this, my eyes close and my head rolls to one side as I watch him, my hands running through his hair. He reaches up and links my fingers with his as his tongue dives deep into my body, long deep licks. I’m close and I start to quiver, he releases my hand and pushes three fingers into me and I jump. He sits back and watches me as he fucks me hard with his fingers, my eyes closing and my body finding a rhythm of its own and bearing down on him hard.
“Oh yes, that’s it, precious girl,” he whispers. “Squeeze me and warm yourself up for my cock.” He starts to move his hand quicker and I can’t help it. I start to jump, my body flying headfirst into a hard orgasm and I scream out loud. He leans in and then slides into me as he lifts my legs over his shoulders, his open mouth on my inside ankle. His hooded eyes watch me as my body tries to accommodate him, god it’s too much. I’m too sensitive, too swollen.
“Josh wait,” I whisper. “I can’t…wait a minute.” I gasp.
He slams into me harder. “You can and you will. Squeeze me and suck out my come, it’s yours.” I close my eyes as I ride the deep punishing rhythm, each stroke harder and deeper than the last until I can take it no longer and I scream into his mouth as another powerful orgasm rips through me. He stills and then it’s one…two… three pumps and he growls into my mouth as he kisses me hard. We both pant, covered in sweat, as our hearts beat out of control.
“You’re going to kill me woman.” He smiles and I gasp for breath.
“Not if you kill me first.”
It’s six o’clock and Joshua and I have had awesome makeup sex for approximately three hours and I’m ready to go to bed to sleep. I haven’t really slept since Sunday when Josh started acting weird. We are both wrapped in towels fresh from bed and yes I feel even closer to him now that we have crossed another hurdle, how is that possible? Joshua is in the kitchen eating everything he can find, because if I know him at all he has hardly eaten since Sunday and it’s now Wednesday. I can hear ice banging in the shaker as he makes another chocolate protein shake, god how does he stomach those things? The keys sound in my door and I turn as Bridget comes in carrying the biggest McDonald’s paper bag in history.
“I bought supplies, chick,” she smiles. Oh shit, this is not going to go down well. I forgot to ring her back. She walks through and puts the bag onto my coffee table.
“Big Mac, extra–large fries and coke and an apple pie for added cellulite.” She puts her hands on her hips and beams at
me, feeling proud of herself. I stand still as Joshua comes around the corner, oblivious, in a towel. Her eyes turn into saucers as she sees him and she turns and scowls at me.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” she snaps. I squirm uncomfortably under her glare. She turns to Joshua.
“Get out sleazebag before I tip this coke over your head.” He looks at me and I gently shake my head signifying for him to keep quiet and thankfully he does. “Start talking, Natasha, because you can’t be this gullible. A picture tells a thousand words and the picture me and the rest of the world woke up to this morning was Joshua Stanton doing another stripper.” I bite my lip. This does look bad. Joshua doesn’t like that last comment and folds his arms in front of him as he rests the bottom of his foot against the shin of his other leg while he looks at her deadpan. She glares at him. “Speak asshole!” she yells.
“Not that it’s any of your business what goes on between my girlfriend and me but.”
She cuts him off.
“None of my business. Are you fucking kidding me?” Ok, she’s losing it.
“Calm down, Bridget, it’s ok. He was trying to protect me.” She looks at me like I have just grown another head.
“Seriously, if you pull your psychology shit out now, I am going to frigging kill you. Your boyfriend slept with a cheap stripper last night and you saw the photos and here you are in a towel playing happy families with him. What in the hell is the matter with you?” I wince as I sum up the situation from her perspective. She’s right—this does look bad.
“I didn’t sleep with her,” Joshua snaps. She turns on him like the devil himself pointing her finger in his face.
“I don’t care if she fucked you up the ass with a broomstick, you kissed her and that’s cheating! She waited seven fucking years for you, Josh, and this is how you repay her? Shaming her in public.”
He drops his head again in shame. “It was a bad decision, I will admit.”