by T L Swan
“Oh how big of you to admit it. You loser!” she screams.
He scowls at me and I know he wants to fight with Bridget but is holding back for my sake only. It’s not in his nature to handle someone being so aggressive toward him without snapping.
“I’m going to take a shower,” he growls.
She glares at him. “Don’t slip on the soap and break your neck, you asshole, I couldn’t handle it.” He narrows his eyes at her and comes over and runs his hand down the length of my spine and gently kisses me on the lips. It’s a powerplay, he’s showing her who’s the boss. He’s lucky she doesn’t kill him on the spot; at this point I wouldn’t put it past her. She glances around the living room and notices the suitcase.
“Why do you have a suitcase out?” Oh god, not now Bridget. Why is she so good at playing the bitch? My eyes drop to the ground—this is not the way to tell her.
“Natasha’s moving to LA with me.” My eyes snap up to him and he raises an eyebrow in defiance. I can’t believe he just said that. Bloody bastard.
“What!” she screams, “have you lost the plot Natasha? Over my dead body are you moving anywhere with this asshole.”
Joshua glares at her. “That could be arranged, Bridget. Don’t tempt me.”
“Is that a threat Stanton? Because I swear to god it will be go time if it is.” Jeez this is getting out of control.
“Bridget, honey, calm down. Joshua, get in the shower. Now!” I throw him a dirty look and he frowns at me as if not understanding what he has done wrong. He storms towards the bathroom and she pulls me into an embrace.
“Natasha please…don’t put up with this…he’s frigging brainwashed you or something. Let’s leave now. You can stay at my house.”
“Bridget, Bridget, Bridget,” I sigh as I hug her back. How do I get around this? “Bridget, I believe him and if that makes me an idiot so be it. But I can’t go against my gut instinct.” Bridget pulls back and frowns at me.
“You know you have always had a dodgy digestive tract.” I laugh out loud.
“Can you trust me, please Didge?”
She scowls at me. “What would you say if this was Jeremy in that photo? How would you be acting?”
I give her a sad smile. “Exactly like you are, thank you for being a great friend.” She nods and flops on the lounge chair and blows out a deep breath.
“Fine but if he thinks he’s having any of this McDonald’s he can fuck off.” I laugh again. I love Bridget. She has such an articulate way with words.
“I fucking adore you, precious,” he whispers as he withdraws from my body and rolls onto the mattress next to me. His open lips linger on mine. I lay panting, still trying to catch my breath. Honestly, he couldn’t get any hotter. Sex between us is incredible. The sheen of perspiration thickly covers us and I can still feel his heart beating heavily against my body. I smile against his neck. He hasn’t said that to me for a while and I have to say I’ve missed hearing it. “What’s amusing?” he smirks.
“You are.” I smile.
He frowns. “Why am I amusing?” I bend up and kiss him with an open mouth, my lips holding onto him. “Of all the things you say to me, that means the most.”
He frowns. “The most, of all the things I say to you. I fucking adore you means the most?” I smile and bend and kiss his shoulder and rub my cheek on his chest.
“It sounds crazy I know, but it was my olive branch. When we first started hooking up you always said it to me. It made me hope that somewhere deep inside on some level, you still loved me.” My eyes tear up.
“Baby,” he whispers as he kisses my forehead. “How could you ever think anything else? I will always love you. I’ve loved you since I was a nineteen–year–old boy. When I saw you at the wedding I started freaking out because I knew instantly that I wasn’t strong enough to stay away from you.” I get a really large lump in my throat and my eyes tear up again.
“Josh you nearly broke us. How could you throw me away so easily?” He closes his eyes as if in pain.
“Presh, I love you. Of course I wanted to put your needs before mine. I saw you with those little girls on the weekend and I know you will be a great mother. I couldn’t take that from you. You did the same for me, remember, when you were seventeen.” I roll onto my back and tears run into my ears.
“Josh, I put myself through self–inflicted torture. You have no idea the amount of remorse and guilt I felt. It nearly killed me and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.” He lies silent as he stares at the ceiling.
“Do you want to know what I did after I kicked that girl out of my car around the corner the other night?” I nod and roll onto my side to face him.
“I ran on the treadmill for six hours, had a fight with Cameron and crashed my car.”
I frown. “Why in the hell did you have a fight with Cameron?”
“Because he told me I was a gutless prick and deep down I knew he was right and then he told me you were too good for me anyway. I just snapped. I couldn’t help myself. We got into an argument and he told me to marry a stripper, seeing that’s all I deserve. I disgust myself.” He puts the back of his forearm over his eyes. I put my hands over my face.
“Josh,” I whisper. “Have you seen him since?”
“Yeah, we made friends late last night, but the guilt I felt knowing you would be heartbroken this morning had me going insane and, he’s right, I don’t deserve you. Everything he said was completely true.” He goes silent. ”Tash, please don’t let me mess this up. I can’t explain it but it fucks with my head big–time knowing I depend on one person so much for my happiness.”
I smile a sad smile. “I feel it too, Josh, and, you’re right, I depend on you for my happiness. So man up and make me happy, dickhead.” He growls and rolls me onto my back as he holds my hands above my head.
“You just got yourself a ticket,” he smiles into my neck.
I giggle. “To where?” I ask too sweetly.
“Pound town,” he smirks as he bites me hard.
Chapter 25
Cabin crew cross check. We are seated in Josh’s private plane bound for LAX Airport and I have to say I’m pretty damn nervous. Cameron and Adrian have come along for the ride, Cameron to check out the hospital and living arrangements and Adrian to catch up with his boyfriend. After not seeing him for eleven weeks he jumped at the chance to go home for a week. They are sitting together three seats behind us. Max and Ben and, what’s his name, Adrian’s bodyguard, are seated up the back together already playing cards, obviously used to extensive travel. To think it’s only been nine weeks since I started seeing Josh again and already I can’t imagine my life without him. I blow out a breath and close my eyes. I hate flying. I’ve watched way too many episodes of Air Crash Investigation to sit back and enjoy the ride, who knows what the hell is going on in that damn cockpit? Half the time I don’t think the pilots do. One thing I do know for sure is that they don’t tell the passengers anything is wrong until you have approximately five seconds to live.
I frown at Josh. “Who is this pilot again?” I ask.
He smiles and shakes his head as he closes his eyes and leans his head back on the rest.
“Will you chill? Do you think I would let a pilot who can’t fly fly the freaking plane?”
I frown as I take his hand for comfort. “Did you check his references?”
Josh opens his eyes and frowns at me. “Is that a joke?”
“Josh, this is serious. We have precious cargo on board you know? Namely me.” I bat my eyelids to accentuate the point.
He gives me a swoon–worthy smile. “Very precious cargo,” he repeats as he leans in and kisses me gently on the lips. “Why don’t you read a book? I have work I have to get done and then we can have sex and a sleep later?”
I frown at him and my eyes shoot around the cabin. “Sex in here—with everyone in the plane?” I gasp. He mischievously smiles and nods as he does wide eyes at me. I lean in to whisper, “I know you’re an exhib
itionist but there is no way in hell I am having sex on this plane.” He smirks. “Handbrake,” he whispers as he does wide eyes at me. Oh, I’m shocked.
“Did you just call me a handbrake?” I ask.
He smiles and nods. “Totally.” The plane speeds down the runway and I brace myself for take–off. Joshua senses I am scared and puts his arm around me for comfort. I always feel so safe when he’s around. It’s like I’m in a safe bubble when I’m with him and I know it’s a false sense of security, the last week has shown me that. My mind wanders back over the last few weeks. The strip club when I saw him with the blonde stripper. I hated that night. And then seeing his tattoo at the fight, this brings a smile to my face. What about when he told me he fucking adored me the first time. I swoon at the memory. And to think I am on my way to LA with him to pick out a house for us to start a future in together. Could he be more perfect? Hmm, unfortunately yes he could. The horrible memory of TC enters my head. The amount of sex he has had with other women is definitely a fly in the ointment. The stripper the other night he was kissing. I close my eyes and rub my forehead in frustration. Is Bridget right? Is he really just covering his ass with an elaborate story? Is he the world’s biggest player? Have I turned into one of those pathetic girlfriends that make excuses for my philandering boyfriend? My eyes roam back over to him in the seat next to me and I melt again, his beauty arrests me. Never have I seen such an attractive male and he doesn’t even try to be, that’s what is so sexy about him. That and his sexual confidence. I suppose I can’t begrudge his sexual history because it has made him an incredible lover and… I blow out a breath as I try to articulate my thoughts. If he still wants me after all that he has been exposed to, that’s saying something surely. Isn’t it? I wonder if sex with another man would be as good. I smile and bite my bottom lip. I’m naughty. I can’t even imagine what it would be like.
“Why don’t you take your top off?” he whispers.
My mouth drops open. “Joshua, behave.” I smirk as I lean into him and kiss his beautiful lips.
“Frigid,” he whispers as he pulls back and winks at me. Frigid, I am not frigid.
“Joshua, so help me, if you don’t shut up and look pretty for the rest of this flight, you are going to cop it.”
“What about in the bathroom? Can we have sex in the bathroom?” he smiles.
I frown at him. “No, definitely not. In your bed tonight when we get home, if you are lucky.” He smiles and leans back in to me and grabs either side of my face as he tenderly takes control of my mouth with his tongue. I feel that familiar pulse between my legs as he kisses me deeply. Hmm ok, this is going to be a long flight.
Exactly fourteen hours later I wake as I feel Joshua stand and fuss around in the overhead luggage hold.
“What are you doing?” My half–asleep voice sounds husky as I speak.
“Just getting changed, presh. Go back to sleep.” I nod and snuggle back into my pillow and blanket and then it dawns on me—why does he have to get changed? Did he spill a drink on himself or something? I open my sleepy eyes to see him in the aisle in just underpants as he unzips a suit bag. What in the hell is he doing?
“What are you doing?” I frown as I ask again.
He leans over the aisle and give me a kiss. “I’m in my underwear, feel free to molest me.”
“Josh, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean, why are you putting a suit on?” He smiles a sad smile.
“I can’t…I mean I always wear suits in public here, baby.”
I frown. “Huh, why?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I just do, you will get used to it.” How strange. I mean the man rocks a suit but to put one on to land at an airport…that’s just crazy talk. Ben walks up the aisle to us.
“Joshua, what are the arrangements?”
Josh bites his bottom lip and glances at me. “Natasha will go with Adrian, you and Max in the first car and Cam and I will travel with Jim in the second.”
Ben frowns. “I think I should stay with you.”
“No, I want you with Tash. We will be one minute behind you—it will be fine.” What are they talking about?
“How come I can’t come with you?” I ask.
Joshua grabs my hand and squeezes it. “Because we can’t be photographed together until we tell your parents.” I slump down in my seat like a naughty child.
“Oh right. Who would be at the airport at this time anyway?” He smiles and nods and for the first time since we have been together I see an emotion in his eyes I haven’t seen before…pity.
Adrian grabs my hand as we walk across the tarmac with Ben in front and Max behind us. I turn and look at the plane.
“Isn’t Josh coming?” I ask.
Adrian lifts my hand up and kisses the back of it. “He will be out in a few minutes, Tash. Just don’t act like you know him if you see him.” Huh why in the hell not? As we walk out of the airport through customs and towards the glass screen I nearly stop dead in my tracks. There must be fifty photographers lined up against the glass, all waiting. I hesitate and Adrian jerks me forward.
“Act normal or they will know.” Ok, what in the hell is he talking about now? Have I missed part of the conversation? I nod and continue forward to the black Audi wagon parked outside. Adrian ushers me to the car and opens the door for me to climb in, hmm, smell the leather. This car is new; it has that new car smell. I scramble over the seat and look out of the dark tinted windows toward the airport hoping to catch sight of my honey. Adrian and the boys are putting all the luggage in the trunk and I sit in silence trying to sum up the situation. Is Josh really this protected in America that I can’t even be seen with him? This is ludicrous. Does he think I’m going to live in a cupboard hidden from the world? We are so telling my parents when we get home. Adrian jumps in and grabs my hand again.
“Drive,” he orders the driver without saying hello. How rude. The driver pulls out into the traffic but it is banked way back and we are standing still, and then I see it. My heart drops. A media frenzy, where photographers are running backward to try and get the shot. Joshua is walking through the airport and every one of the photographers is chasing him and screaming out his name. I sit still, frozen on the spot, as I stare out the window in horror. This is why he got changed. He knew that they would be here—waiting for him. I am brought back to the present by Adrian squeezing my hand again and I look at him bewildered.
“Is this normal?” I frown at Adrian.
He smiles and nods. “Unfortunately, yes. Now we find out what you are made of, Tash girl.” I frown as his words sink in.
“I hope you have a strong stomach,” he whispers as he puts his arm around me. “You’re going to need it. Joshua Stanton’s world can be pretty harsh.”
The luxury car manoeuvres between the busy traffic, but my mind is far from sightseeing. I am stuck with the ‘see what I am made of’ comment from Adrian. What did he mean by that? Does he think I am not going to last in Joshua’s world? I put my head back onto the headrest and close my eyes. What am I made of? And what of the ‘Joshua’s Stanton’s world can be pretty harsh’ comment? What the hell does that mean? Does he mean the other women in Joshua’s life are going to make my life a living hell? God, I’m so out of my depth here. Am I really considering giving up my safe little haven to move to…whatever the hell I am moving into. My mind then moves to Josh, beautiful Josh, and I smile. He’s so worth the fight, any fight. You know what? I would move to the moon to be with him so if someone wants to make my life hell…then bring it on bitches, I’ll be waiting. I just have to promise myself that I won’t let anyone put it over me. Stay true to myself. Yes, that’s the only way I have any chance of surviving LA, LA Land and its Botox beauties. I glance down at my faded jeans and slouchy off – one–shoulder black T–shirt. Is this even acceptable in Josh’s world? I’m the world’s biggest dag. I make a mental note to get my shit together and buy some new clothes—funky ones that kick ass. Hmm, yes, good plan. Adrian smiles and grabs
my hand again. “You’re quiet,” he smirks.
“I suppose,” I answer. “This is all very new to me, Adrian. I’m feeling out of my depth.” He smiles a sympathetic smile and nods. “Will you promise me something, Adrian?”
He nods. “Anything.”
“If I am put into a situation where you think I will be with someone who I can’t trust, will you tell me?”
He smiles an honest smile, “Of course, Tash.”
I nod, feeling better. “What will you say?” I ask.
He frowns. “What will I say?”
I nod and smile. “Yes, code for snake.”
He laughs out loud. “You want to have a secret code for someone you can’t trust?”
I smile and pick up his hand and kiss the back of it. “Exactly.” I narrow my eyes as I sum up my diabolical plan. “So the word for snake is?” I ask.
He smiles again. “Cinderella.” He giggles.
I frown. “Cinderella—that’s a pretty lame code word. I was thinking Mole Patrol or Booby Trap.”
He bursts out laughing. “If I say the word Booby Trap I’m pretty sure Joshua will catch onto our plan.”
I nod. “Oh right, good thinking. But why Cinderella?” I ask.
“That’s what Ben and I used to call you before we met you,” he smirks. My mouth drops open. “Why would you call me Cinderella?” I ask.
“Because Joshua was besotted with you and we used to tease him.” I frown as I sum up his words, hmm, I like that piece of information. My confidence gets a much needed boost and for the first time since leaving the airport I feel a little excited about seeing Josh’s house. We enter a road with beautiful trees and get to what looks like a guard station, the driver slows down and the gates are buzzed open and we drive through.
“What was that?” I ask.
“This is a gated community, otherwise Joshua would be hounded night and day by photographers.” I nod again, feeling stupid. The car turns a few corners and the houses are all amazing. We slow and pull into a driveway with massive sandstone gates, the driver punches in a code and the gates slowly open. Shit. This can’t be his house, surely? It looks like something out of a magazine only a thousand times better. There is a massive circular driveway that joins onto a huge, and I mean huge, dark charcoal rendered space–age palace. Fuck. The gardens are impeccable and have beautiful lights shining up into all of the trees. There is a huge water fountain in what looks like a tropical heaven. Jeez, this is opulence at its best. There are a few cars parked in the parking bays to the left and Ben looks around at Adrian and raises an eyebrow.