I'm All Yours

by Madhumitha Lakshamanan

  "Yes! I hurt her again! So what's the big deal?"

  "Every time you humiliate her, it hurts her! If she was cheating on you, the humiliation wouldn't have affected her so much!"

  "She is just faking it, Karan!"

  " Fine! Okay! Let's consider she is cheating on you! Why don't you just let her go? Why do you keep insulting her? Why?"

  "That is what she wants! She thinks, she can blame me for the divorce and have a happy life with that Kabir guy! But, I won't let it happen and that Kabir should be taught a lesson!"

  "Okay! So, why are you here?"

  "Can't I crash at my friend's place?"

  "Oh really?? You just hurt her and you weren't able to see her hurt, so you came running here not being able to face her! You resigned just because you thought that you would end up hurting her in front of your friends again! You don't want to let her go cause you know that you can't live without her! You are jealous of Kabir! You think he has the love that you want! You are just afraid to fall in love with her, but the truth is, you are already in love with her!"

  The realization came crashing down on me.

  "Nonsense, Karan! This is bullshit! You know it well! Commitment is not my thing!"

  "You are married to her! That is the biggest commitment ever, Gautham!"

  "You know really well, I married her just because my family forced me to and I didn't want to divorce her because I didn't want to hurt her family! I can't really satisfy any of her needs emotionally. And anyway, what difference is it going to make, she loves another man."

  "You didn't want to divorce her because you wanted to be with her, not because you didn't want to hurt her family! Stop giving it some false labeling! You failed to realize when you were actually being cheated on, but now when Shakthi isn't cheating on you, you are assuming otherwise! You are just being over cautious, Gautham! Shakthi is not Natasha!”

  "Now you are humiliating Shakthi by comparing her with Natasha."

  He laughed. “You have fallen hard for her! Don't numb your emotions just because of Natasha! She was trash! You never loved her, but I just failed to understand what kept you so long with her! I never saw the love for Natasha in your eyes. But still, you thought, you were in love! But now, it pains you when you hurt Shakthi! You are not able to tolerate the pain in her eyes! You are not able to tolerate the thought of another man with-"

  "Just stop it, Karan! Please! I don't love Shakthi! She cheated on me! How will I ever love her?"

  "You are right! How can she do that? She is married to you and she has been two timing! How cheap! God knows of how many more men are there in her lif-"

  "Not another word about my wife from your filthy mouth! You get that?" I held his collar!

  "You always wanted me to take your side, right? When I actually did, why are you furious?" he removed my hands off his collar.

  "My wife is not cheap! And she is not the way how you frame her to be! She is such a harmless human being! She is so selfless! She has been tolerating all my insults without a word! My life is just so incomplete without her."

  He smiled.

  "Damn! I have really fallen in love with her."

  Shakthi's POV

  It was almost eight in the morning and still there was no sign of Gautham's arrival. Where could he be? This was the longest night of my life! I kept calling him, but it went to voicemail! I hoped he was safe!

  Suddenly, my phone rang. I hoped it was Gautham!

  But, it was Shalini, weird! Why was she calling me so early in a Saturday morning??

  "Hey!" I tried to be happy when I answered the call.

  "Stop acting! You are so bad at it! What is wrong between you and Gautham?"

  How did she know?

  "I met Gautham at Karan's house at three in the morning! That was more than enough to tell me that things are bad!"

  "At Karan's house? But, I asked Karan and he refused! Oh!! Wait a minute!! At Karan's house? What were you doing at Karan's house at that hour?"

  "We are in a relationship."

  "Aww!! How cute! Karan is such a good man! I am so happy for you!! At least one good news!"

  "So! Tell me! What is wrong between you and Gautham? Is he hurting you by any way? You can tell me, you know?"

  "Was he alright?"

  "Yea! But, what is wrong between you and him?"

  Just then I heard the front door open.

  "Hey! I think Gautham is back! I will talk to you later! Bye!" I hung up and rushed to the hall.

  He looked fresh. His hair was neatly gelled with a little mess of course. He was dressed in his casual faded blue jean and a black shirt folded up to his elbows, molding his muscles. He had some documents in his hands and he studied me intently. His features softened for a moment when he looked at me, but quickly masked it up with pure hatred.

  "Where were you? I kept calling, but you wouldn't answer your phone! And Karan refused to tell me where you were! Where the hell did you go Gautham?"

  "Stop acting like you care!" he said.

  "I do Gautham! I really do!" I tried making some sense. I really did care for him.

  He suddenly diverted all his attention to me. "Oh really? Will you do anything for me then?"

  "Of course, I will!" I said without thinking.

  "Then kindly show your favor on me by signing these papers!" He offered me the document that he had.

  I opened it to find out what it was and to my horror, it was divorce papers.

  Chapter 39-Resolved or maybe not...

  Shakthi's POV

  I opened it to find out what it was and to my horror, it was divorce papers.

  A gasp escaped my lips. "You really want me to sign these?"

  "No! Why don't you just make paper planes out of them?"

  "This is not funny! You are asking me for a divorce!"

  "I know what I am asking for!" he said and moved to the bedroom.

  He just demanded a divorce like it was some product from a supermarket.

  I follwoed and stood in front of him stopping him from entering the bedroom.

  "Please! Tell me why you’re doing this!" I pleaded

  "Just get the hell out of here."

  I tugged at his wrist and he turned towards me. His silvery grey eyes never ceased to make my heart beat rapidly. His intense gaze carried so much hatred.

  "I won't." I crashed my lips against his.

  He refused to let me kiss him, but in a few seconds, all his resistance came crumbling down. The kiss grew more passionate. It had a new edge to it, completely different; it was as if he was pleading for me not to sign the papers. He pulled himself away from me and rested his forehead on mine and his eyes were still closed.

  "You.. you still want me to sign the papers?" I whispered through my labored breathing, and his eyes snapped open only to push me off him.

  "Yes!" he said.

  "But why?"

  "You are wasting my time! Let us just get this over with! Just sign it!" He handed me a pen.

  I threw the pen to one corner of the hall. "Our entire marriage is about to be ruined and you say that I am wasting your time? Gautham, I need an explanation!"

  "Don't act as if you care about our marriage!"

  "I do! God, how will I make you believe?"

  "By just signing the papers!"

  "Divorce!! Divorce! Is that the only thing on your mind?" I tore the papers into pieces.

  "I will ask the lawyer to draft the papers again!"

  "All what you still care about are these papers? Really?"

  "Of course! Sooner the better! I can't even breathe the same air that you breathe!"

  Tears pricked my eyes. His face softened.

  "Stop those crocodile tears! Women like you act so well that you make people think that the tears are actually true!"

  "What do you mean, ‘women like me'?”

  "You never cease to surprise me with your acting skills, Shakthi! Just come to the lawyer's office at six today and you can sign the papers!"
<
br />   "First, I won't come to the office! Second, we need to be married for a minimum of six month before applying for a divorce and third, I am not acting!"

  "Oh wait! Don't tell me that you are after my money! I can give you how much you want just to make you sign the papers!"

  "Look! Your money is the last thing I want! The only thing that is going to make me sign the papers is a proper explanation from you!" I said.

  He seemed uninterested to even talk to me.

  " This is our marriage that you are trying to ruin without even giving me a proper explanation."

  Suddenly all his coolness was lost! His jaw tightened.

  "You were the one who ruined it, Shakthi! By cheating on me!" He pushed me. I caught the wall to hold my balance.

  What was he saying? This was a big accusation that he was making!

  "What makes you think like that?" I questioned.

  "Please stop acting and come to the office today!”

  "Gautham! I am not going to let our marriage fall apart just because you think I am cheating on you! I know I have been faithful to you and I don't need to prove that!"

  "Of course you don't want the divorce! You think that you can blame me for the divorce and settle happily with Kabir!"

  "Kabir?”

  "Oh please! I am tired of your acting!" he said, rubbing his temples.

  "Stop telling me that I am acting! I am not acting, okay! Please! You are misunderstanding something!" Tears rolled down my cheeks.

  "Finally! Here that goes! I was expecting you to pull out that card! I am misunderstanding, is it?? I saw you literally sticking your tongue down his throat and you say that I have a misunderstanding!" He clapped. "I must accept your talent!"

  "Did you come to the terrace?"

  "Yes I did!" he stated, folding his arms across his chest.

  "So why are you still accusing me of cheating if you were also there?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "I pushed him off the moment he tried to kiss me!"

  "Stop lying! I know what I saw!"

  "Even your own eyes can be deceiving, Gautham! I am just guessing that you weren't there for the entire time!"

  "Do you still have an explanation after I caught you red handed!"

  "I can't believe this! You aren't even ready to hear me out!" I felt frustrated.

  "Okay! Go on!" he said. Finally he was making an attempt to let me clear it out.

  "When we were studying in the institute, Kabir and I were best friends. But, one day he said he was in love with me when I had no feelings for him and never saw him as anything more than a best friend! He kept trying to make me accept .When I got tired of him and his ways, I stopped talking to him. But, he said that he was sorry about it and he promised that it would never happen again. So we became friends again. Everything was normal between us and do you remember that even you told me that he was in love? With that, I actually thought that he had moved on! I was really happy for him and we were back to normal."

  His body tensed for a moment.

  "Not best friends, but just friends."

  He relaxed and gestured me to continue. It looked like he started believing me. God, please make him trust me!

  "But, I don't know what happened during Chirag's wedding! He suddenly started to kiss me, saying that he was still in love with me and all! I totally had no clue that he hadn't moved on! I pushed him off the moment he tried to kiss me and I even slapped him for it! I explained that we had no future and my future will always be with you and no one else! After so much of explaining, he finally understood and let me go!"

  He suddenly walked up the stairs. I really hoped that he didn't think that I was making stories up!

  He came back. "But, how did you get this?" He showed me the keychain which Kabir had presented.

  "Where did you get it from?" I asked.

  "Answer my question!" he snarled, which made me flinch.

  "Kabir gifted it to me! And I don't even understand what it means! How can I refuse when someone gifts me something! But, how did you know about this??"

  "This is a couple's key ring which I gifted to Kabir and I still can't believe that he had presented the other half to you!" he said, running his fingers through his hair.

  It came dawning on me! No wonder, it had half of the heart! Why didn't I see Gautham buying this gift when I went along with him for gift shopping!

  "People said that you were in a relationship with him for four years and you were forced to marry me!"

  "You believe what people say! And you don't believe what your wife says? You are so disgusting, Gautham! This is not the man whom I know!" I held him by his collar in anger and disgust.

  Suddenly my phone started ringing. I picked it up to see who it was. It was Kabir!! What a perfect timing! He was last person I wanted to talk to! When I was about to press the ignore button, Gautham grabbed the phone from me and answered it and he put it on loudspeaker. Audacity of this man!

  'Talk' he mouthed with a glare.

  "Hey," my voice came out muffled.

  "Are you okay?? Is everything alright??" he panicked!

  "Of course I am! What's up?" I asked.

  "Shakthi! I feel really guilty of what I did! I am really sorry!" I looked at Gautham and he was looking without a hint of emotion on his face.

  "Kabir! I forgave you on that day itself! You still don't have the need to feel guilty! Just move on! That is all I want!"

  "Yea! After you told me that someone was out there for me, I really gave it a try, you know!"

  "Wow!" I faked a surprise. But, I was actually exasperated with the way Gautham was acting up. He was listening carefully to what Kabir and I were talking.

  "Yea! She is really sweet! Her name is Ridhi. We have been dating for a few weeks! And I really like her."

  "Sounds good, Kabir!! Congratulations! I really hope that she is one for you!"

  "We haven't gone that far! But still…"

  "I am really happy for you Kabir!"

  "And- "

  "Hey! Am really sorry! But, I've got to go! I am just a bit busy! Can I talk to you later?"

  "Just before you leave! I am again sorry for all what I did! I shouldn't have forced myself on you! I am really sorry!"

  I almost started to cry now. "It's okay!" I hung up and I ran upstairs to my bedroom, locking it behind me, unable to control my tears.

  I sat on the floor leaning on the door, holding my knees to my chest!

  I wasn't angry because he misunderstood me for cheating on him! It was my mistake too, not telling him about Kabir! But, the fact that he didn't believe me after I told him everything made my heart twist in pain! Even after Kabir's call, he would have thought that we were just making up stories! Did he hurt me so much just because of this! How did he come to know about the place where I had kept keychain? He had literally been spying on me the whole time. He didn't feel even a little sorry about listening to my call with another person! This was not the man who I fell in love with!

  "Shakthi!" I heard him bang on my door.

  What was he here for, to hurt me more??

  "I am terribly sorry, Shakthi!! Please open the door!" He yelled, smacking the door.

  I removed the suitcase from the cupboard and started throwing my dresses furiously into it. I can tolerate anything, but not a man who doesn't trust me!

  He stopped banging the door for a while. What was he up to? Maybe he realized that his attempts were going to be futile!

  Oh boy! Was I wrong! The next moment I heard the door unlock and he stood in front of me!

  His eyes showed regret! But, it didn't matter to me anymore. It wasn't going to make a difference! I was done packing! I shut it tight and put it down on floor!

  "Don't leave!" He held my wrist, as I moved the trolley. My heart melted at his words! But, he just doesn't trust me! What was the use of me staying with him?

  I turned to face him. He looked pathetic. My heart cried for him. But, a relationship without trust goes
nowhere. "Look, Gautham! I am not a person who shuts myself out without even a proper explanation! I am leaving! I can't live with a person who doesn't trust me, even one bit!"

  "Shakthi! Please, try and understand! I saw Kabir all over you! What do you expect me to do? I shouldn't have doubted you! I am sorry!"

  "I am not mad at you for misunderstanding me! Maybe according to you, our relationship hasn't come that far, for you to believe me that I can never cheat on you! I agree- "

  "No! Nothing like-"

  "Will you allow me to talk, at least now? Please?" I asked him.

  He remained quiet. "But, you could have at least trusted me when I explained everything to you! I begged for you to trust me! But, you didn't! Finally what made you believe was Kabir's call! Wasn't it?"

  "Yea,but-"

  "But, what? Do you remember when you were MIA for a few weeks?"

  He nodded. "What did you expect me to think you were doing during those weeks? But, you just asked me to trust you and I did, just because you asked me to! If I hadn't trusted you then, we would have been divorced long back, Gautham! Trust is the foundation for any relationship, Gautham!"

  "Shakthi! Please, don't cry! I am sorry!" he held my shoulders, and wiped away my tears.

  "Don't touch me!" I pushed his hands off me.

  Chapter 40-Making Up

  Shakthi's POV

  "Don't touch me!" I pushed his hands off me.

  He looked hurt. I knew I was being rude, but it hurt me more that he didn't trust me!

  I took the trolley and started to leave. I needed some time to myself, to!

  Suddenly I felt the handle of my trolley being pulled out of my grip and being thrown, creating a thud, while landing on the floor!

  "Gautham!! Are you out of your mind!?"

  He pinned me to the wall. His face was just inches from mine and his eyes pierced through mine. His chest pressed against mine, crushing me.

  I never expected him to react this way. His eyes held the determination to make me stay, but I was not going to!

  "Wh..What are you doing??" my voice trembled.

  "You will not go anywhere!"

  "Why? You aren't able to breathe the same air as I do! I am actually doing you a favor, right?"

  His eyes showed momentary regret. "I said I am sorry!" he said through his gritted teeth, but I've never heard an apology like that, in my entire life!