Deacon

by Rebecca Royce

  I spoke, just letting the words out for once. Not worrying about being judged or who would hear them. Lydia wanted to know me? Well, there I was. “The problem with saying it too soon is I’m afraid you’ll change your mind, that you’ll take it back. That the words will vanish and with them the feeling of hearing you declare that to me. You can’t say something like that to a person like me then stop feeling that way. I’m starved for things others take for granted. I think I might expire from the loss of them if I let myself believe you meant them to begin with.”

  She lifted her head, leaning on her elbow. “I’m not ever going to take them back. I’ve never said them to anyone but family before. You take your time to believe them. They’ll be right there. All yours.”

  Lydia kissed me so sweetly. Her lips were soft. Every single bit of her was soft. This time, it was my turn to sigh. I kissed her back, our mouths fusing together. She tasted like honey. I could drown in her and not be unhappy at my ending.

  I rolled to my side, drawing her closer so we could be pressed front-to-front. Neither one of us rushed. We might have kissed for hours. Heat pressed into my groin, and I got hard, painfully so. Still, I didn’t want to do anything but kiss her. Well, I did. I’d have to be dead to not want more. Even then, I might crave her. But what I really desired more than anything else right then was the closeness. The feeling I could connect to her, mouth-to-mouth, was all I needed. The fight had worn me down. I didn’t think I could manage to figure out the rest right then, even if she wanted to.

  Finally, she pulled back, her gaze on me. I could see her perfect features in the light from the now dying fire. “You’re tired. I can feel it coming over you.”

  “Sorry.” I didn’t want to disappoint. “I can wake up.”

  She shook her head. “Let’s sleep.”

  That sounded good. Even with my hard-on making movement awkward. “Sounds good, beautiful.”

  “Do you think I’m beautiful?” Her smile would have lit up the world. “I guess that’s stupid. I shouldn’t care.”

  I touched her chin. “I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

  She pressed her forehead to my chest. “I’m not, you know. I mean, I’m fine to look at. But I’m not the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. If you think I am, then I’m just going to roll around in that emotionally for a bit.”

  Her words were slurring together. I smiled. “Now who’s tired?”

  “I worried the whole time you were down there.”

  I kissed her forehead. “Sleep.”

  She closed her eyes, and so did I. Darkness came fast. I wondered how I’d ever sleep without her again.

  I dreamed about sex. When I was a teenager, that happened a lot. Still did sometimes but not as much as it had back then. This time, it featured Lydia. She was naked on top of me, riding me. I was close, so close I was going to come and…

  I opened my eyes. The room was quiet, Lydia’s small sighs as she slept next to me the only sound in the still dark room. My cock throbbed. I needed relief, and I needed it soon. I took a deep breath, my hand coming down on my erection through the slit in my boxers. I totally didn’t want to jerk off with her lying right there. It would be awful for her to wake up and find me doing that.

  Lydia rolled over, her eyes opening. “You okay?” She had that husky voice thing happening again.

  I cleared my throat. There wasn’t going to be a great way to get out of this situation and we’d promised each other the truth. “Look, I’m hard. I’m really frickin’ hard. I was hard before we conked out, which you must have felt, and dreaming about you only made the whole thing worse. I’m going to have to take care of it. I’ll just go”—I didn’t know where exactly—“and take care of it. Then I’ll come back and…”

  “No,” she interrupted me. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  “I’m not really cool with jerking off while you watch, gorgeous.” There was a certain excitement to that but not right then. It was too soon or something.

  She reached out in the darkness, her hand finding the top of my erection. “Let me.”

  I sucked in my breath. Her hand was soft but firm on top of my cock. “Lydia…”

  She scooted closer. “I’ve never done it. Ever. Show me. I want to.”

  I heard excitement in her voice and that was why I agreed. I hadn’t expected this, not at all. I took her hand in mine and directed her fingers like I had, strangely enough, with the stake. She took to my silent direction fast, and soon, with just the right amount of pressure, she stroked me. Up and down. I hissed in my breath.

  “Good?” Her voice was low, sultry. Lydia sounded like a woman who knew she had turned me on. I loved the timbre of it in her voice.

  “So fucking good.” I didn’t even care I’d cursed. She squeezed a little harder and my hips came off the bed. “Shit.”

  She pumped me hard, picking up speed. I groaned. I was going to come, and it was going to be fast. I warred with my body’s need for release. I’d never get this moment again. There would only ever be one first time for us to find intimacy together, and whether or not I ended the night between her thighs, this was that moment.

  I wanted it to last.

  My cock had other ideas. I exploded around her hand, spilling like the desperate man I was. I cried out her name. My ears rang.

  I had to catch my breath. She held onto my erection until I was done. Her eyes were huge. I tried to swallow. Had I absolutely ruined the night for her?

  Then her mouth was on mine. She kissed me, over and over. I still could hardly breathe. All I could do was chase her while she led.

  Finally, I pulled back. “Thank you.”

  She shook her head. “Can we do that again?”

  I laughed. “Lydia, you have no idea… I can’t even begin to explain…”

  Well, actually I could. I’d heard guys talk about this a lot. “Do you touch yourself?”

  Her cheeks pinkened. “Sometimes. I don’t get a lot of privacy.”

  “Okay if I touch you?”

  She nodded. I kissed her hard, rolling her over until I was on top of her. She still had on the slip, and I wasn’t going to take it off, not tonight. Although I was soaked, I still had on my boxers. Tonight was just touches. I trailed my hand down her slip until I could tug it up a bit. She had undies on underneath. They were in the way. I tugged them down. Her breathing picked up, her eyes wide.

  “Deacon, I want you to touch me. I’m also nervous.”

  I wet my lips with my tongue, watching her as she spoke. She was so lovely in her vulnerability. “I’ve never done this before, beautiful. I might not do it right. I’m nervous as hell.”

  “Really?” Her eyebrows shot up. “You’ll only have been with me?”

  I pushed her hair off her forehead. “We’re not going to get that far tonight. But, yes, I’ll only have been with you. We have to talk more about what to do before we go further than this. I don’t want to get you pregnant.”

  She shook her head. “Not yet.”

  I couldn’t even go there in my head. I slipped a finger inside of her. She made the slightest moan then giggled. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh. I do this when I’m nervous. I…”

  I moved my finger inside of her until I found what I was looking for. The smallest nub waited for my attention, and I gave it a gentle rub. She cried out, biting down on her lip. Yes, that was it.

  Lydia didn’t give me any verbal directions, just sighs and moans when she seemed to like what I was doing. Soon, I found a rhythm. Her moans got louder, and she shut her eyes. My cock hardened. Was there anything more exciting than this? She was so sexy.

  I picked up my speed, and her hips started to jerk against me. Lydia arched her neck, her head back. “Yes. Oh, Deacon, yes.”

  It didn’t take much longer. She was wet, hot, soft, and mine. Lydia came around my finger. I kissed her when she found her completion. I never wanted to stop.

  Seven

  We must
have fallen asleep because I woke up with half of her on top of me, our legs and arms entwined. It was tough to tell where she started and I ended. She snored, which was adorable. Lydia hadn’t done that before, and I figure it was because her neck was bent slightly. I also knew I was once again hard. I closed my eyes. This really was like being sixteen again.

  Her breasts poked out of her slip. I hadn’t seen them before, and I couldn’t get my gaze to move off the sight of her nipples. They were pink and perfect. The sight of them did nothing to ease my ever-hardening erection. She moaned slightly, and I gave up trying to think about unsexy things.

  Instead, I kissed her. She smiled but didn’t open her eyes, so I kissed her again. And again. Lydia came awake, meeting my caress with her own. I loved when she kissed me back.

  She pressed her hips against me, meeting the top of my cock with her pussy through her slip. I hissed and pulled back. “Careful, beautiful.”

  “Why?” She had mischief in her eyes. “Isn’t that what we both want? I know you can’t be inside of me yet. But won't this also work? I mean, I’ve never done this before either. I know that felt good.”

  She was right. It would definitely get me off, and if it didn’t for her, then I’d finish her off the way I had in the middle of the night. In fact, even thinking about sticking my finger inside of her made my straining erection beg for attention.

  “You’re so sexy.” I kissed her hard, pressing my erection against her until we ground together.

  She threw her head back, and I kissed her neck, feeling for her pulse so I could kiss her there, again and again. I was so glad she was alive. She existed in the world. It was a miracle. I reached for her breasts, pulling on her pink nipple. She must have liked it because she cried out, grinding against me.

  I moaned, and then it was like my hips took over my whole body. We kissed, I squeezed, I begged. I might have slightly lost my mind, and then she came. I felt her wetness through her slip, and it was all I needed. With the next thrust of my hips, I was a goner. She was… perfection, and I was just lucky I got to touch her. I was completely unworthy that she wanted me so much.

  She kissed my face, all over it. “Good morning, Deacon.”

  I didn’t have words yet. I nodded, pulling her tighter. For a few minutes, we just breathed.

  A knock came on the door. “Hey, bro, open up.”

  Son-of-a-bitch, Micah came back a lot earlier than I thought he would. I shook my head. “All right hold on.”

  I needed Lydia dressed. He didn’t get to see her half-naked. She loved me. I was the only one who got to do that. Without speaking, I picked up her clothes off the floor and started putting them on her. She grabbed my arm, stopping me. “I’ll do it.”

  Lydia got on her knees and kissed me once before she dressed herself. Of course, she could clothe her own person. What had I been thinking?

  I shoved on my pants and opened the door. Micah came inside slowly. “Was I interrupting? You could have told me to come back later. I take direction really well.”

  My girl got to her feet. “We just got up. Moving a little slowly, that’s all.” She winked at me. “Good morning, Micah.”

  “Morning, Lydia.” He stretched. “The whole town is meeting at noon. I was thinking we’d go and tell them what we think about the Vampires.”

  Lydia looked between us. “How bad is it?”

  “Bad.” I kissed her. I didn’t want Vampires and lunacy. I just wanted Lydia. I knew that wasn’t possible, so I made myself step back. “What are you doing today before the meeting?”

  She zipped up her coat. “My job. I know I told you, but we never discussed it, really. I’m a schoolteacher.” She leaned up for one more kiss. “I’ll be at the meeting. The whole town pauses for these meetings.”

  I watched her leave through the window, wishing I could call her back. “I’m in serious danger of not being able to think about anything else but her.”

  “That’s a good thing. I’m not at all familiar with it, but I hear other people call that love. And since you’re just diving into sex, you’re bound to be preoccupied with that, too.”

  Now that led to a good point. “Micah, this is embarrassing but…”

  He held up his hand. “Don’t tell me. You need the drawing. Where. What. How it fits together.”

  I shot him a look that I hoped said he should go screw himself. “Sorry,” he finally said. “What’s up?”

  “I don’t want to get her pregnant.”

  Micah nodded. He made a sound in the back of his throat that kind of resembled an hmm then walked to his bag. “Here. We’ll split them. This is a tribute to the fact that I value our friendship. I don’t give these out to just anyone. They’re hard to find. They were plentiful back in the time I was born. I used to get them from the school nurse.”

  “What are they called?”

  He twisted his lips. “Condoms. And when you run out, we’ll have to go scrounging up more. Believe it or not, I got these out of Icahn’s lair. The folks there had them. Anyway, use it. No unwanted babies. Stretch it out. Put it on. Cover up. Pretty self-explanatory. If you have any questions, I could try to explain. I think somehow you’ll manage.”

  “Thanks.” I really meant it.

  He smiled. “Yep. Oh, you know what else occurred to me?”

  No, I really didn’t. “What’s that?”

  “You never got inked.”

  I shook my head. “What?”

  “When you became a Warrior, we didn’t give you a tattoo. We all get them.”

  That was right. I’d been remarkably aware of it at the time. It was another way they’d sort of let me know I didn’t belong with them. Everyone got a tat except for me. “I’m aware. The time for that has passed, don’t you think?”

  “I think we screwed up, my friend. You didn’t have a traditional coming-out-to-fight night, and we didn’t think of it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be done. You’re a Warrior.”

  I was ridiculously moved by the fact he brought it up. I’d decided, at some point, I didn’t care. Only, I did. “Maybe someday.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Someday? Right this very second. You’re with me. I’m the one who does the inking.”

  “What?” He couldn’t be serious. “Here? How are you going to do that?”

  He lifted up his bag. Exactly how much stuff did he have in there? Condoms? And tools to give tattoos? I’d brought warm clothes, water bottles, medicine, and writing paper. Weapons. He had ink?

  “Sit down, Deacon. You’re long past due.”

  I swallowed. Micah got to pick out all the Warrior tattoos. Or at least he had. Presumably, someone else did it now he wasn’t there. “What are you going to put on my back?”

  “Wait and see, brother. Today’s just the outline. We’ll do color next week.”

  This was proving to be a bizarre day, and it had just started. I hadn’t even had coffee yet.

  My back burned badly. I wasn’t going to complain. Micah could have done a lot worse than an eagle for my Warrior tattoo. I wasn’t clear on why, and he wasn’t explaining. He told me I’d figure it out when I was supposed to. I wondered when he’d gotten so out there in his thinking.

  The council called to order. I wasn’t surprised to see it was all made up of the same women as before. How could the men be involved in anything if they were only there half a year? Filling in for their men had been another bullshit statement.

  I stood up. “Hey everyone, I’m Deacon. I think we’ve all met, sort of.”

  Micah looked up at me. “You’re just launching in?”

  “Yep.”

  He nodded. “Awesome.”

  “Here’s the thing. You lied to us, big time. You were going to hand us over to be killed. Yet, we still disposed of the Vampires holding your loved ones. They’re back.” This earned me a round of applause I hadn’t wanted or expected. Suddenly, I could feel all the eyes in the room on me. Their gazes crawled on my skin. I looked around until I found th
e one I sought. Lydia leaned against the wall. She smiled at me, and I could breathe again. Okay, this would be fine. “It’s not over. Your Vampire problem was a lot bigger than you knew.”

  Micah rose. “The Vampires live by traveling, as much as possible, through underground tunnels.”

  “That’s right,” Lydia’s father, who was a burly man with a round, kind face, answered. “We saw that.”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir. That’s right.” I was proud of myself for pulling out the sir. I hadn’t been raised with manners. I’d had to figure them out as I went along. “Yours turns out to be a centralized one. That means at some point in the not too distant future, lots of other Vampires and weird, psycho scientists are going to know we broke you out and killed all of them.”

  My fellow Warrior finished for me. “They’re going to come back.”

  “I can’t go back into those cages,” a man shouted out from somewhere in the back.

  Micah and I made eye contact. They weren’t getting it. It was always my job to deliver the bad news. “They aren’t going to put you back to work. They’re going to kill all of you.”

  This got everyone’s attention, and the room fell silent. Finally, a voice I loved hearing spoke up. “What do you propose to do, Deacon? There’s no way you’d leave it like that.”

  As it was, we had come up with two ideas. But why did she persist in assuming I would be able to help? I’d told her time and again I wasn’t a hero. She stared at me with such hope in her gaze. Lydia was so beautiful, truly the loveliest woman who ever—

  Micah answered, interrupting my thoughts. “We do have an idea. Two of them. Well, technically three.” He knocked me in the shoulder before he whispered in my ear. “If you keep looking at her like you want to see her naked, everyone in this room will know what you guys are doing. Her father might put you in a ditch. She’s grown, but she’s still his daughter.”

  I nodded. He was right. I seriously needed to pull it together. I tore my gaze off Lydia and spoke to the crowd. “Here’s the three things you guys need to decide. The first one, we’ll leave you guys alone. This really isn’t our business, but we’d like to help.” And I didn’t want to have to leave Lydia. She’d offered to run once but now her father was back, her mother was dying, and she might not think it fair to take off and leave them all behind. I’d have to see. “But this is your town. You did want us dead or, at the very least, you were willing to let the Vampires kill us.”