Pillar of Light

by Gerald N. Lund

  Caroline came forward and she and Melissa embraced, kissing each other on the cheek. “I’m so thrilled to meet you,” Caroline said. “Joshua has talked about his favorite sister for so long.”

  Melissa touched Joshua’s shoulder playfully. “I’ll bet you never said that.” Then before he could answer, she looked to her husband. “And Joshua and Caroline, I would like you to meet my husband, Carl Rogers.”

  Now the smile warmed a little, and Joshua could sense that the previous reserve was not any kind of resentment or reluctance but simply part of the man’s nature. They shook hands firmly. “Carl, we are very glad to meet you. And no matter what Melissa thinks,” he said with a wink, “you are married to my very favorite sister.”

  Melissa laughed happily and slipped her arm through Joshua’s. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

  “More than you think,” Joshua exclaimed. “So come. Let’s sit down. We have a lot of talking to do.”

  Melissa pulled away. “Oh no, not yet. We’re not finished.”

  “Finished?”

  “With the introductions.” She slipped away from him and darted to the wagon. Joshua gave Carl a quizzical look, but Carl just smiled. Joshua turned the same look on Caroline, but she just shrugged. Then in a moment they understood. Melissa climbed back out of the wagon. In her arms she cradled a blanket and something inside it. Carl stepped quickly and helped her down again. As Joshua and Caroline moved to join them, Melissa pulled back the blanket. “Sarah Rogers, I’d like you to meet the handsomest uncle you’ll ever have. Joshua, Caroline, this is Sarah. She’s on her way to meet her Grandma and Grandpa Steed.”

  * * *

  “Did you get my letter?”

  Melissa rocked back on the small bench, holding one knee in her hands. “Oh, yes. I was so thrilled. When mother’s letter came telling me you had found the family again, I wept. Then to hear from you. Oh, Joshua. It’s been so long. It’s so good to see you.” She sat up. “Did you get my answer?”

  Joshua looked at Caroline, who shook her head. “No,” she said, “but we’ve been gone from Independence since early November.”

  “Oh, that’s why, then.” Melissa turned to Carl. “When did I mail it?”

  He shrugged. “October probably.”

  Joshua watched Carl. He was definitely a quiet man, content to listen while they chattered on. But Joshua thought he was going to like him. He treated Melissa with respect and consideration, and he positively beamed when he took Sarah and held her. There was a thousand questions Joshua wanted to ask his sister. His mother had told him about Carl’s opposition to the Church and how Melissa had finally given in to keep peace. Was she still a Mormon, then? If so, had things in Kirtland settled down at all? According to Nathan, there had been talk by some Saints about going back to Ohio now. How would that set with the ones who had stayed behind? But he didn’t dare say any of this, so he and Carl talked livery stables and horses and freighting. For now, it was good enough, and from the pleasure shining in Melissa’s eyes, he could tell she was pleased with what was happening.

  “Oh, I wish you had your other children with you,” Caroline said. “Mother Steed talks about how she misses them and how adorable they are.”

  “I know,” said Melissa. “But coming this far with a baby at this time of year was hard enough. We left the rest with Grandma and Grandpa Rogers.”

  A movement caught Melissa’s eye and she turned her head. The two teamsters who had come with Joshua were behind the second wagon, having a smoke. That would raise some eyebrows in this camp, she thought with amusement. But seeing them reminded her of another question. “So both of your wagons are filled with goods for the family too?”

  Joshua nodded. “Like you, we thought we’d do what we could to help.” Then he turned to Carl. “This is a fine thing, your coming this far to do this for our family.”

  Carl shrugged, a little embarrassed. “It’s family. You don’t leave family when they need help.”

  Melissa looked at Carl, letting him see her pride in him. “And it was Carl’s doing too. I was sick with worry, but I didn’t know what to do. Then Carl suggested it all on his own.”

  Joshua was impressed. That said a great deal about the man. Maybe he had been bitter about the Mormons. Joshua had no trouble understanding that. But Kirtland to Far West was about eight hundred miles. And with a baby in the worst of the winter? Joshua could name more than one teamster who would have balked at the thought of that. Yes, he thought, Carl Rogers was earning some credit with Joshua Steed.

  * * *

  Joshua and Caroline walked along slowly. It was a beautiful night. Above their heads, the Milky Way was like some incredibly huge and beautiful diadem spread across the sky. The only other light came from the flickering campfires scattered around them or an occasional lantern still burning inside a wagon. With the sky cleared, it had turned very cold. Their breath hung in the air, dissipating only as they walked through it. There was five or six inches of snow, and the ground was slick. Joshua placed the tip of his crutch down with care lest it slip out from beneath his weight. Carl and Melissa had gone to bed, but Joshua was too excited to sleep. So when he said he was going to go for a walk, Caroline had come with him.

  “What if we miss them, Joshua?”

  “The family you mean?”

  “Yes. What if they’ve left Far West already? It’s been two weeks since Emma was there.”

  “We can’t miss them. Carl said he wondered the same thing and asked around. The Mormons all come on the same trail, and that’s the way we’ll go. Even if they’ve left, we’ll still meet them.”

  “Oh, good.”

  “In fact, it’s really quite amazing. Carl learned that Brigham Young has established supply posts all along the way. They leave stuff there for those coming who have nothing. So I know they won’t take another way.”

  “You like him, don’t you?”

  “Carl? Yes, I do. He’s a good man.”

  “I know. Knowing how he feels about Mormons, and still he decides to do this. Coming here.”

  “I wonder if Melissa is still a Mormon.”

  Caroline nodded. “She told me she still reads the Book of Mormon and prays. There’s no Mormon group there now that she meets with, but she still believes.”

  He turned and gave her a look of mild surprise. “She told you all that?”

  There was a soft laugh. “Yes, silly. We talked a lot while you and Carl were seeing to the horses.”

  “You like her too, don’t you?”

  “Oh, yes,” Caroline exclaimed. “She’s everything you said and more. I feel like we’ve been friends for years and years.”

  Somehow that pleased Joshua more deeply than he expected it would. “Good,” he said gruffly.

  She stopped, turning to look up at him. The starlight caught in her eyes and flashed back at him. “I love your family, Joshua. All of them. Don’t you know that?”

  “Yes. And I’m glad.”

  “In fact . . .” Then she shook her head and turned away.

  “In fact what?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I hate it when you do that,” he snapped, pretending anger. “Tell me.”

  “You’ll laugh.”

  “No I won’t.”

  “That or get angry.”

  “I won’t!”

  “Promise?”

  “Caroline!”

  “All right.” She smiled up at him. “Remember, you promised.”

  He nodded. “I did. Now, what is it?”

  As she took a quick breath, Joshua could sense her sudden nervousness. “Once Will comes back,” she said, “how set are you on living in St. Louis?”

  Joshua’s chin came up. “What? That’s where my business is. Where else would we live?”

  “We lived in Independence and you had your business in St. Louis.”

  “What are you saying?”

  Again there was the quick intake of breath, as though she were steeling herself. “I wa
s just thinking. I still worry that someone from Jackson County will find out you’re alive and living in St. Louis. We don’t know where the Mormons will finally settle. Maybe here in Quincy, maybe somewhere else. But wherever it is, they’re going to need food and building materials and supplies. I think a freight business might do very—”

  “You want to move up here?”

  “No,” she said flatly, a little stung by the incredulous tone of his voice. “I want to live near your family. I want our children to have grandparents. I want them to sit around at night like they did at Far West, giggling with their cousins and running off to play games. I want to get to know my sisters-in-law, and my brothers-in-law. I want—”

  He turned around abruptly. “We’d better be getting back,” he said shortly. “It’s late and we’ve got several long days ahead of us.”

  Her lips tightened, pressing together. You promised you wouldn’t get angry! She nearly snapped it out at him, feeling a little betrayed. But then the wiser part of her nature took over. Patience had its own rewards. She slipped an arm through his as though there had been no conversation. “It was just a thought,” she said pleasantly.

  Chapter 35

  Look, Melissa.” Caroline had straightened from the campfire and was looking across the muddy track—now frozen as solid as rock—that separated them and the next campsite. The previous evening as they had talked, Caroline had let her eyes stray over there, watching the family prepare and eat their evening meal.

  It was a large family, a husband and wife and five children. The thing that had first caught Caroline’s eye was that the woman was pregnant—heavily so. She couldn’t be very long from delivery. You could see it in the way she had to walk, holding her back or cushioning her stomach when she leaned over.

  They were not wonderfully equipped, but Caroline could see that they were better off than many in the camp. The wagon looked sturdy. The horses were not the finest, but neither were they as pitiful as some she had seen. And she had seen that the family had enough to make a simple evening meal.

  Caroline had felt guilty, knowing how much she and Joshua carried in their wagons, and had almost talked to Joshua about sharing it. But then she realized two things. There were far too many in this camp. Where would it stop? And wretched as their conditions were here, soon they would be across the river where they could find help. In Far West, from all reports, the conditions were worse, and from there Illinois was still two hundred miles and eight or nine days away.

  “Melissa?”

  Melissa poked her head out of the wagon. She had just finished feeding Sarah and had her wrapped tightly in a blanket and a small but heavy comforter. “Yes?”

  “Look.” Caroline motioned with her head toward the other camp.

  Melissa did so, and then her eyes widened. “The wagon’s gone.”

  “Yes. I thought I heard one go by late last night.”

  Melissa climbed down now and they stood together, half shielded by Melissa’s wagon so that their staring wouldn’t look quite so obvious. The place where the other family’s wagon had stood the night before was empty, and the horses were gone as well. Near a dead log there were piles of furniture and goods, the obvious contents of the wagon. Next to where the wagon had stood there was now a low shelter. Stakes had been driven into the frozen ground, then long poles lashed to them with what looked like bed cords. Quilts and blankets had been hung around three sides, leaving one end open to the fire to catch some of the heat. Now the fire was crackling briskly. The woman was bending over it, stirring something in a big kettle that rested right in the flames. The oldest boy was beside his mother, watching her. The other four children sat in the front of their little shelter, holding their hands and feet out toward the fire.

  “So that’s what they were doing,” Melissa said.

  “What?”

  “While you and Joshua were gone last night, Carl and I heard hammering. It must have been them driving those stakes into the ground.”

  “But where is her husband? Where would he go in the middle of the night?”

  Melissa shook her head. Caroline looked around. Joshua and Carl and the two teamsters had gone down toward the river, looking for men who could give them information about the conditions of the trail. Caroline couldn’t see them returning, so she suddenly straightened. “I’ll be back,” she said, and turned and walked toward the other campsite.

  “Good morning,” Caroline said as she came up.

  The woman turned around, a little surprised. “Oh, good morning.”

  “I . . .” Caroline felt suddenly awkward. She waved a hand back toward their wagons. “We’re camped next to you.”

  “Yes. You’re the ones headed west.”

  Caroline was surprised. “How did you know?”

  The woman smiled. “Word gets around quickly in a place like this. What you are doing is wonderful. It will be a godsend to them.”

  Caroline nodded. Those were the same words Emma had used. “My husband has family there and . . .” She hesitated only for a moment. “I don’t mean to pry, but where is your husband?”

  The woman smiled again, but now it was not enough to hide the strain and worry showing on her face. “He left about midnight.”

  “But to go where?”

  “You mean you didn’t hear?”

  “No, what?”

  “One of the wagons that arrived last evening brought word from Far West. The militia has said that they are going to shoot every Mormon who isn’t out of the city by April first.”

  Caroline was deeply shocked. “No!”

  “Yes.” It came out grim and determined. “We lived in a little settlement outside of Far West. We’ve seen what they can and will do. And what is worse, there are still many widows there. And children.” Her eyes were frightened and filled with concern.

  “But if your people are leaving, surely that should satisfy them.”

  “It’s not good enough. Not for some of them, anyway.” She sighed. “So when we heard that, my husband and I discussed it and decided that he should immediately return to Far West with our wagon so that others can use it.”

  If Caroline was shocked before, she was stunned now. “He went back?”

  The woman nodded. “We have been blessed to come this far as well as we have. We must help the others now.”

  “But you’re not . . .” Caroline lifted her eyes and looked across the river to Quincy. “How will you get across the river? It could be days and days. You can’t just stay out here like this.”

  The woman turned too, and her breath went out in a long, silent sigh. “I don’t know yet,” she said. “I just know Jonathan had to go back. He had too.” And then that tiny spark of humor came back into her eyes. She turned and pointed at the newly erected shelter. “What queen ever had a finer bedroom than this? We slept very well, thank you.”

  Caroline shook her head, fighting her emotions. She didn’t know what to do. Maybe Joshua and Carl could help the woman and her children across the river. But then she pushed that idea aside. If the report about the militia was really true, then it was important that they themselves get to Far West as quickly as possible to help Joshua’s and Melissa’s family.

  “We’ll be all right,” the woman said, grateful for the concern she saw on Caroline’s face.

  Caroline could not keep her eyes from dropping to the roundness of the woman’s stomach. “How soon is your time?” she asked softly.

  The woman looked down, and one hand lifted to rub her dress where it was tight against her body. “It could be any time now,” she said.

  “What will you do if it comes before you—”

  Just then there was the crackle of footsteps in the snow from behind them, and a booming voice called out, “Sister Thomas!”

  They both turned. “Yes,” the woman called. “I’m over here.”

  A man was striding up the track from the direction of the river. As he came around a clump of undergrowth and saw them, he changed dire
ction and came to join them.

  “Good morning, Brother Wiswager.” She turned. “This is . . .”

  “Caroline Steed.”

  The woman smiled. “We’re neighbors.”

  He nodded, giving Caroline only the briefest of glances. “Sister Thomas, I heard about your husband leaving.”

  “Yes, last night.”

  “Do you have a place to stay?”

  She looked over her shoulder. “Only this.”

  “You’re not to worry about a thing. Sister Wiswager and I have found a little hut across the river. It’s not much, no more than twelve feet by twelve feet.” He laughed shortly. “We have five children. You have five children. There’ll be plenty of standing room for everybody.”

  Caroline watched them in amazement. As they began to talk about how they would get Sister Thomas and her family across the river, Caroline lifted a hand. “I’ve got to go,” she murmured. “I wish you the best.”

  “Thank you,” Sister Thomas said. “And may God speed you on your journey as well.”

  * * *

  Joshua left Carl and the two men he had brought to drive his wagons. They were still asking questions about the trail, and Joshua decided to start back, since he moved a little more slowly than they did. The sky was still dazzlingly clear. The sun had been up for about half an hour now, and the snow glistened and sparkled. The rays were also rapidly taking the bite out of the cold. As he strode along as rapidly as he could, there was a commotion off to his right. He stopped, going up on the balls of his feet to see better. The noise was coming from the place on the riverbank near where the ferry landed, about ten rods from where he now was. There was a group of men there, maybe a dozen or so, clustered together. They were talking excitedly and pointing.

  Curious, Joshua changed direction, moving as quickly as he could across the hard-packed snow. As he approached them, he saw again the awesome sight of the Mississippi River, now a vast sheet of ice a hundred yards wide that glistened in the sunlight. But it was not a smooth sheet. The great blocks of ice that had been such a threat to the ferry yesterday had been caught when the river froze. They were like discarded stones from some great building under construction, some mostly flat to the sheet ice, and others shoved up at sharp angles as if they were skyrockets about to launch.