Pillar of Light

by Gerald N. Lund

  “I tell you,” Parley suddenly thundered, startling several, “there is no sacrifice required at the hands of the people of God but what it shall be rewarded to them an hundredfold, in time or eternity. That is the promise of God, and God’s promises are sure.

  “We know that the great work of God must be on the increase and grow greater. As a people we must enlarge—in numbers and in our borders. We cannot always live in one city, nor in one county. Nor can we always wear the yoke that our enemies would place on our necks. We are modern Israel, God’s chosen people, and Israel must be the head and not the tail. The Lord designs to lead us to a wider field of action, where there will be more room for the Saints to grow and increase, and where there will be no one to say that we are crowding them in. We need a place where there is room to enjoy the pure principles of liberty and equal rights.”

  A slight movement caught Nathan’s eye and he turned again to Joshua. To his astonishment, Joshua Steed was nodding in agreement. He sat back on his bench, staring up at Parley, and he was nodding his agreement. And then, on reflection, Nathan was not surprised so much. That concept of separation would make sense to Joshua. Get away from your enemies. Find a place where you were free to do what you wished. Yes, that would appeal to Joshua.

  The Apostle leaned forward on the pulpit now, his eyes fiery and filled with power. “One small nursery may produce many thousands of fruit trees while they are small. But as soon as those trees expand towards maturity, they must needs be transplanted in order to have room to grow and produce their natural fruits. It is so with us. We want a country where we have room to expand, and to use all our energies and all the enterprise and talents of a numerous, intelligent, and growing people.”

  He took a deep breath. “In short, I tell you that we are called to find a place of our own where we will be free to fulfill the destiny the Lord has promised. And I rejoice, my brothers and sisters, I rejoice that the time has finally come.” He picked up the list and shook it at them. “I rejoice that we are now being called upon to prepare ourselves to go forth and meet our destiny. Oh, may we only be worthy of what the Lord sees fit to place upon our shoulders!”

  Chapter Notes

  Fuller accounts of the doings of the Quincy committee, the mass meetings held by the anti-Mormons, the various resolutions, and the response from the Church can be found in B. H. Roberts, A Comprehensive History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Century I, 6 vols. (Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1930), 2:504–20 (see also HC 7:447–53).

  The minutes of the general conference for October 1845, including Brigham’s introductory address, his dedicating the temple, the business of sustaining the officers, and the remarks of Parley P. Pratt, are found in the official history of the Church (see HC 7:456–64). The conference minutes do not say that during the session Elder Parley Pratt read the list of things required of a family for the journey west. We do know, however, that Parley was asked to calculate what the requirements for a family would be. The full list, used here in his speech, was included in the official history under date of 4 October, just the day before the conference began (see HC 7:447, 454–55), so the assumption is that it was shared with the Saints at about this same time.

  For more information on the apostasy of William Smith, see the chapter notes at the end of chapter 10 herein.

  Modern Church members find the inclusion of tea, coffee, and alcohol on the list of supplies for the journey westward somewhat surprising. In the official history no justification is given for any of these. The five gallons of alcohol for each two families suggests this was medicinal, much like our own rubbing alcohol, and not some form of liquor. As for the tea and coffee, the Encyclopedia of Mormonism gives this explanation: “Compliance with [the Word of Wisdom’s] teachings was sporadic from the late 1830s until the early years of the twentieth century. The Church encouraged leaders to be an example to the people in abstaining from alcohol, tobacco, tea, and coffee; but no binding Church policy was articulated during this time.” (S.v. “Word of Wisdom.”)

  Chapter 21

  On Wednesday night, the night of October eighth, 1845, the night following the last day of general conference, they gathered together at Nathan’s home. There were no children. Even the three babies, Jenny’s, Rebecca’s, and Jessica’s—two at seven months and one at six months—were nursed and left at home with older siblings or cousins. This would not be a night when the Steeds gathered together for light conversation or gentle laughter. This was the long-awaited Steed family council, a council to deal with the most pressing family crisis the Steeds had ever faced.

  That they came to Nathan and Lydia’s home was not surprising. Brigham had told Nathan he was leaving him home to become spiritual head of the family in Benjamin’s absence. Most did not know that. Nathan had not ever said anything about it. But whether they knew it or not, they sensed the reality of it, and seemed pleased that someone was taking that role for Benjamin.

  Lydia watched her husband as he greeted each couple and ushered them into their sitting room. He had taken Benjamin’s role, she suddenly realized, not because Brigham had said he should, but because he was the most like Benjamin. He was the spiritual leader of the family now. Even Joshua, who, as the oldest, might have felt that it was his place to lead out, accepted Nathan’s leadership as though it were the natural order of things. Benjamin and Mary Ann were expected back in the next three weeks or so, assuming they had received Brigham’s letter. What would happen then? Lydia wondered. Would Nathan step back again? Possibly, but she didn’t think so. But either way, until then the family accepted Nathan’s role and were glad for it.

  And then as she too greeted each of them and ushered them into the sitting room, Lydia felt a peculiar mixing of sorrow and joy down inside her. How she loved these people! She was not related by blood to any one of them, but how dear they had become to her! She looked around, wanting to burst out with an exclamation of joy, and yet wanting to cry at the same moment.

  Here were Matthew and Jenny, as much in love today as they had been on the day they were married four years before. Beside them on one side sat Derek. Derek—raised in the slums of Preston, England, grown up in the great cotton mills of Great Britain—was now a gentleman farmer of great depth and wisdom. He and Rebecca, with their three children, were a quiet but solid cornerstone of the family. On the other side, seated in matching hard-back chairs, sat Jessica and Solomon Garrett. Sweet, quiet Jessica, who had endured so much—a divorce, being driven from Jackson County in the midst of a bitter winter, a second marriage which ended tragically at Haun’s Mill, then exile to Nauvoo. How wonderful that she had found Solomon, who was so wise and gentle and caring. How right that she should now have found such complete happiness.

  Directly across from them were the two young couples—Kathryn and Peter, Will and Alice. Both had recently come to love through markedly different paths. But love they had found. Soon they would be married and take their place in the family circle.

  And then a strange thought struck her. Not one of the four were Steeds by blood. Will, Caroline’s oldest, was Joshua’s stepson. Peter, Derek’s brother, came into the family first as guest, then as friend, and finally as an adopted son. Kathryn and Jenny had come in with their Irish mother and been all but adopted by Jessica when Nancy McIntire had died. And finally there was Alice, truly an outsider in one way, and yet so much a part of the family in another. Lydia never thought of any of them as anything but family, as everyone else was family.

  Carl and Melissa and Joshua and Caroline came in together at the last. Somehow, in Lydia’s reflective mood, that seemed appropriate, for here would be the greatest source of tears, the greatest challenge to the family’s unity, the point for which this council would need the greatest counsel.

  Lydia pulled out of her thoughts as they found chairs and Nathan moved to the front of the room. She went to the chair beside him and sat down. Nathan let his eyes go around the room, lett
ing the quiet settle in upon them more completely before beginning. Finally, he cleared his throat. “I think we all know that we are facing a crisis for the family,” he began. “I’d like, therefore, to suggest that we begin our family council with a petition to the Lord for his help as we wrestle with the issue at hand.” He looked at Joshua. “Would that be all right with you, Joshua?”

  “Of course.”

  “Carl?”

  “I think we need it.”

  Nathan nodded, looking around again, debating about whom to call. Then his eyes came back to Carl. “Carl? Would you offer that prayer for us?”

  Carl was so startled that he visibly jumped a little. “Me?” He was not the only one who was looking surprised. Melissa looked dazed for a moment.

  “Yes. You may not be a churchgoing man, but we all know you are a God-fearing one. I know that you and Melissa pray in your family. This isn’t just a Mormon question, Carl, it’s a family problem. We need a family prayer.”

  Melissa reached out and laid her hand on Carl’s arm. When he turned to look at her, she nodded silently at him.

  “All right,” he finally agreed. He lowered his head, closing his eyes. The rest followed suit. “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” There was a long pause. “O God, we come to you in prayer. We come to ask for your help. We care very much for this family. We know that our family is a great blessing. Now we face a real problem. Circumstances are combining to split us apart. We do not want that to happen. Help us to know what is best.”

  There was another long pause, and in the silence, Nathan heard Melissa sniff softly.

  “O Lord,” Carl went on after a moment, “we want to do what is right. We want to be good. Help us now to know how we best can do that. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  There was a choked cry, and as Lydia opened her eyes, she saw Carl put his arms around Melissa and hold her tightly. Lydia found her own eyes stinging, and saw that several others were near tears too.

  Nathan slowly straightened. “Thank you, Carl,” he said softly. “I think you have prayed what is in all of our hearts.”

  “Yes,” Matthew murmured. Several others were nodding.

  Carl inclined his head briefly. “I appreciate your recognizing that if Melissa and I choose not to go, it doesn’t mean we are turning our back on God or on the family.”

  “No one thinks that, Carl,” Lydia responded.

  “I know, and we appreciate that.”

  “But that is the issue before us, isn’t it?” Nathan said, his voice still filled with gravity. “I think we all recognize now, after what was said in conference, that come next spring the Church will be leaving Nauvoo. And this time it won’t be going just a couple of hundred miles. We are going who knows how far. And that is not all. We are going into the wilderness. There are no railroads, no stage service, no canal boats or river steamers there. Mail service, if any, will be extremely limited. For all intents and purposes, the separation will be total and, for a time at least, quite permanent.”

  Every eye was upon him, and every face registered the reality of what he was saying.

  “I think we all know where each of us stands, but I’d like to have it formally noted. Perhaps not all of us have made a decision yet, and that’s fine, but I’d like each couple to say what that decision is if they have decided.” He turned and looked down at his wife.

  She looked at him for several seconds, then turned to the others. “Yesterday, after the afternoon meeting, I happened to be talking to Newel Knight and his wife, Lydia. I asked them what they thought, now that our going was certain. Sister Knight looked right at me and, without the slightest hesitation, said this: ‘There’s nothing to discuss. Our place is with the kingdom of God. We shall set about immediately to make preparations to leave.’”

  Lydia’s head came up now and she looked steadily at the family that she loved so dearly. “That’s how we feel. The kingdom of God is going west. Nathan and I will be part of it as long as they’ll have us.”

  Nathan reached out and laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. Then he turned to Solomon and Jessica. “Let’s just go right around the room.”

  “We’re going west with the Saints,” Jessica murmured.

  Solomon nodded gravely. “Yes.”

  Nathan nodded and turned to Matthew and Jenny.

  “Going,” they said together.

  Next was Derek and Rebecca. There was no hesitation there either. “We’ll be going,” Derek said in a clear, calm voice.

  With a deep breath, Nathan looked at Melissa and Carl. Melissa’s head dropped. “Not going,” Carl said slowly.

  “Will you be returning to Kirtland?” Nathan asked.

  Melissa’s head came up and her eyes were shining. “No. This is home now. For us and the children.”

  “That’s good,” Nathan said, and he genuinely meant it. Nauvoo was six hundred miles closer to the West than Kirtland was. “I think once the main body of the Church leaves, things will be all right here.”

  “Yes,” was all Carl said.

  Now Nathan was looking at the young couples. Peter glanced at Kathryn. They had discussed this at some length earlier today, knowing what the purpose of the family council was to be. “It won’t be without challenge,” Kathryn said with some sadness, “but yes, we will be going.”

  Will and Alice took each other’s hands. “As you know,” Will said, “I’ve committed to work for Walter Samuelson until spring. But we’ll be back then and we will be going with you.”

  Nathan saw Joshua’s deep frown, but said nothing. He hadn’t meant them to be last, but Joshua and Caroline had taken the end chairs. Now every eye turned to them. Caroline was looking at her hands, which were folded tightly in her lap. Joshua was watching her carefully, but she didn’t look up and so he finally turned to Nathan. “As you might guess, we haven’t decided for sure, but we’re thinking of going to St. Louis.”

  Now Caroline’s head did come up. “We?” she asked in a faint whisper. And then, mindful that all were listening, but needing to say it anyway, she went on. “I’m not saying that I won’t go with you, Joshua, but it is you that is thinking of St. Louis, not me.”

  It was as if all the others in the room were forgotten. Since he and Will and Alice had returned from St. Louis, Joshua had tried to talk with Caroline about this question. Each time it ended either in impasse or tears or both. He spoke to her softly. “I don’t think it’s wise to stay here in Nauvoo, Caroline.”

  “I don’t want to stay here.”

  “And I don’t want to take my family off into the wilderness and risk their lives.”

  “I know it is not just my decision, Joshua,” she answered right back. “But if it were, my answer would be to go.”

  “And my answer would be to go to St. Louis.”

  “So?” she said sadly. “Do you have the final say?”

  “No, you know I’m not saying that. But do you?”

  She shook her head, then looked at Nathan. She was near tears now. “As you can see, the Joshua Steed family has not yet decided what to do.”

  “I understand. And that’s fine. For those of us who are going, we must begin preparations immediately. We all heard the list of what each family must bring. Peter was able to get us a copy of it from the print shop. So we have it before us. We have food to gather, equipment to make or buy, property to sell.”

  Kathryn’s head came up. Her eyes filled with anguish as a thought struck her. “Steed Row will no longer be Steed Row, will it?”

  That hit them all hard, Nathan no less than the others. He had to swallow once. “No,” he said softly, “Steed Row will soon be only a memory.”

  “That makes me want to cry,” Jenny said, her face looking like she was going to. “There have been so many happy times here.”

  “And what if you can’t sell?” Carl asked.

  There was a long silence, and then Derek answered for all of them. He shrugged. “Our place is with the kingdom
of God.”

  Carl cleared his throat and looked around. “I don’t need to tell you that I am not sympathetic to your beliefs. We all know that. But I will say this. I don’t blame you for leaving. In fact, I believe it is the best thing for you to do. Brigham is right in saying that you are never going to have peace here.” He took a quick breath. “I am not a rich man, but I would like to buy Derek’s land from him.”

  Derek jerked up, but no more swiftly than Melissa did. She was staring at her husband.

  “And”—Carl was looking at Matthew now—“I would like to purchase the cabinet shop as well.” There was a quick, embarrassed smile. “I’ve always thought that having a brickyard and a cabinet shop in the same family might have some advantages.”

  Melissa was dumbfounded. So were the rest of them.

  “We don’t expect that, Carl,” Lydia finally said.

  “You are going to need a lot of money to get everyone ready,” came the answer. “I don’t have a lot, enough for a down payment, maybe, but it will be enough to help you get outfitted. Then I will send the balance to wherever you end up. I will make sure you get a fair price.”

  “You know I’ll also help with whatever it takes to get ready,” Joshua spoke up.

  Nathan turned. “Joshua, you and Carl have always been willing to help the family, and that means a lot to us. But if we can just get a fair price for what we’ve got here, then we’ll be fine.”

  “No, listen. If we go to St. Louis—” He looked at Caroline quickly, then away. “Or whatever we decide—I’ll be selling the freight business here. Before I do that, though, I’ll just give you whatever wagons and teams you need.”

  “That would be a major head start for us,” Solomon said.