Pillar of Light

by Gerald N. Lund

  Brigham Young gave Alice and Will an hour with Will’s family before he came to the house to see what he could do to help lessen the damage. Evidently, Will had told his parents that Brigham would be coming, because when he knocked, Joshua came to the door, nodded curtly, and stepped back without a word but motioned him in. Brigham took a deep breath, took off his hat, and entered. Will and Alice were not there, and Brigham decided that was good. Just he and the parents. It would be best that way. He took out his watch and glanced at it as he followed Joshua down the hallway. It was barely six o’clock in the evening.

  Joshua listened to it all without comment—Brigham’s explanation of how the call had come, why the timing of it was so urgent, and how he fully understood the implications of what he was asking of this young couple. It took most of the willpower he had, but Joshua said nothing through it all. Caroline nodded and murmured in two or three places, but said nothing else either. She looked very tired. However, Joshua sensed that she felt weary because she knew how upset he was, not because Will and Alice’s decision terribly upset her.

  When Brigham finally finished, he sat back, sobered and waiting.

  “I suppose you’re not here to ask our permission?” Joshua asked evenly, after a moment.

  “Will is twenty-one years old,” Caroline whispered.

  There was a quick flash of irritation; then his face went blank again. “I know that,” he said without looking at her. On the surface his patience was seemingly endless, but underneath, he felt like a rope that was stretched to the point that each strand was breaking and unraveling with increasing speed. “But I want to hear it from him.”

  Brigham didn’t move.

  “Are you asking my permission?” Joshua demanded.

  There was a slow shake of his head. “Joshua, I know this is very difficult, but this is a call from the Lord and—”

  One hand shot up. “Let’s just leave the Lord out of this. I know what you believe. I know that Will and most of the rest of my family believe it too. But I don’t, and there’s no point in trying to convince me.”

  Caroline cleared her throat. “Joshua, I know you’re upset, but—”

  “No, Caroline! I’m sick and tired of the Church always taking and taking from my family. And each time they do, they have the gall to suggest that I have no say in the matter at all. So don’t talk religion. Don’t talk God. Let’s just talk about what’s right and what’s fair.”

  “Good enough,” Brigham said tartly. “You want it straight. Here it is. I and the other members of the Twelve have been given a task to do, Joshua Steed. It’s the task of moving thousands of people into the wilderness to a place we’ve never been or never seen. I didn’t ask for this task. Neither did any other members of the Twelve. No one has checked with me to see if it happens to be a convenient time for my family to leave our home and go into exile.” He sat back, his chest rising and falling. “You want to swap stories about what’s fair and what’s not? Fine. I’m ready when you are.”

  Joshua was clearly caught off guard by the suddenness of Brigham’s offensive.

  “You don’t want to talk about the Lord? All right. I happen to believe that we are doing God’s will in this matter, and I am hoping for his blessing. But I’ll tell you this, Joshua. I don’t plan to waltz out there into the wilderness and wait for the Lord to rain down manna upon us. I believe the Lord expects us to prepare ourselves, and that is what I mean to do.”

  Caroline watched him with wide eyes, a touch of awe showing on her face. This was a Brigham none of them had seen before.

  “You find Will’s call a personal inconvenience? Well, I beg your pardon. Why don’t you go complain to Colonel Levi Williams or Thomas Sharp? Why don’t you tell them that their plundering and looting has created a situation that is causing you problems? Why don’t you lodge a complaint with those fine citizens down in Quincy or Governor Ford, who refuses to lift one hand to protect us?”

  Stung, Joshua finally reacted. “Look, I’m not saying I don’t understand the challenges you have but—”

  “No, you look, Joshua. I’m sorry about having to call Will at a time like this. You don’t believe that, but I truly am. I wept this afternoon thinking about the choice I just laid on the shoulders of those two young people. Oh, how I wish to heaven they could have their marriage and go to St. Louis and keep Alice’s father smiling through it all. I wish I could tell them to run along and wait until spring so everything could work out more smoothly. But I don’t have a choice in the matter, Joshua. If I can establish an outpost in California, I can save lives. If I can get food and tools and equipment on site before we arrive, then I stand a chance of making this work. And like it or not, that means calling on you and your family to sacrifice.”

  He sat back, his mouth tight, his eyes hard with challenge. No one spoke. Caroline watched Joshua closely. She knew she was on precarious ground, but she had something that had been on her mind now for several days. She leaned forward. “Just before the martyrdom, you were ready to go west with Joseph, Joshua. Why?”

  Brigham reared back a little. “Is that true?”

  Caroline nodded. “Joseph felt that if he could escape, it would solve the problem.”

  “Yes, yes,” Brigham said impatiently. “I know all that.”

  “Well, Joseph asked Nathan and Joshua to go with him.”

  “And you were ready to go?” Brigham asked Joshua.

  “Yes,” Joshua admitted.

  “Why?” Caroline asked, thoroughly puzzled. “Why were you ready then, and yet now you are so against it?”

  “You know why.”

  “Because you felt that you owed Joseph a great debt when he came for us at Warsaw.”

  He looked down at the floor. “I did,” he said softly.

  “But it was more than that, Joshua. When you told me, I couldn’t believe it. Remember? I asked you if that meant that when Joseph found a place for us, you meant to go with him permanently.” She was pinning him tightly with her eyes now. “You didn’t say no, Joshua.”

  “That was then. This is now.”

  Now Brigham stirred. “You are a man of plainness and honesty, Joshua Steed. I have always admired that in you. So I’m going to ask you straight out. If Joseph were still alive and leading this exodus, would you go with him?”

  Joshua shot a look at Caroline, then turned back to Brigham. “I . . . I honestly don’t know,” he said after a moment.

  Brigham smiled sadly. “Can’t say as I blame you. I’d go with Joseph in the blink of an eye. But following Brigham Young? It gives one cause to think, doesn’t it?”

  “It’s not that, Brigham,” Joshua said. “This is not about you.”

  “I know,” he shot right back. “That’s what I wish I could make you see. It’s not about me. It’s not about you. It’s about something so great, so grand, so incredibly wonderful, that even I can scarcely believe we’re part of it. Doesn’t that fire your blood, Joshua? Think of it! You’ve been a pioneer. You went to Independence, a godless place if ever there was one,” he added with a quick grin, “and you made a business for yourself. You made a difference.

  “Well, think about this. We’re going into the wilderness to start a new civilization. We’re not talking about just moving into some frontier town here and turning it civilized. We’re talking about scratching a civilization from the dust, yanking it out of the sagebrush by its ears and setting it on its feet. Doesn’t that do anything for you, Joshua? To be part of something like that? Something that will really make a difference? For you? For your family?”

  After a moment, Joshua shook his head begrudgingly. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Brigham. I’m the one who’s losing a son here, and not only will you not offer me even the thinnest slice of an apology, but the next thing I know, you’re recruiting me to go along with him.”

  That broke the tension and Brigham and Caroline laughed, relieved that Joshua had not exploded.

  “Brother Heber always said I should ha
ve been a snake oil salesman.” Then the grin died away again. “Joshua, three years ago, Joseph got a letter from the editor of the Chicago Democrat, a Mr. John Wentworth by name, asking for information about the Church. Joseph wrote back to him, told him all about the Church. But one of the things he said was this. ‘The standard of truth has been erected, and no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing. Armies may rage, persecution may follow, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly and nobly until it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear. It will not stop until the purposes of God are accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say to us, the work is done!’”

  Now his voice quivered with excitement, his eyes burned with intensity. “That’s what we’re offering here, Joshua. Those men with their painted faces stormed Carthage Jail and thought they had stopped the work. Levi Williams and his torch riders burned out a hundred of our homes and thought they’d broken the back of Mormonism. Well, what an enormous shock this will be to them! They’re driving us from the state, thinking that will end it. But give us ten years. Fifteen years! And then even a man as blind as Thomas Sharp will know that no unhallowed hand can stop this work.

  “You may not want to put your hand to the work. All right. I honor your right to make that choice. I wish I could help you see what is afire in Will’s heart. In Alice’s heart. Then you wouldn’t be angry about this, you would be envious.”

  “We made a promise to Walter Samuelson,” Joshua said, wanting to get back to the original issue. “He will never understand this. He will see it as a direct betrayal, and blame the Church for it. Wouldn’t you, under the circumstances?”

  “I would. That’s what makes me sickest about this whole thing. I wish there was time to sort it out. I wish there was time to let Will and Alice go through with their plans and keep her parents happy. But there is not. I didn’t plan it that way. No one bothered to ask me if there was a more convenient time to bring this about.”

  He stood and picked up his hat. “I’m sorry, Joshua. I truly am.”

  For several long seconds, Joshua stared into the Apostle’s face. Then finally he nodded. “I believe you. Thank you for taking time to come and talk with us.”

  “Does that mean the wedding will go on tomorrow?” Caroline asked, holding her breath.

  “Is there any way I could stop it?” he retorted, the bitterness edging back into his voice again.

  “Yes,” she said softly. “You can say no and there will be no wedding. Will and Alice will be married somewhere else and we won’t be there to see it.”

  She was right. He knew she was right, and that was part of what was so maddening. This was how it always seemed to be. Circumstances brought on by this whole thing with Mormonism drove him into corners where there was no choice but to surrender and give in.

  “Come with us, Joshua,” Brigham urged. “Become part of this. You could offer so much.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not my cause, Brigham. I’m sorry.”

  Brigham shrugged. “Destiny doesn’t force herself into any man’s pocket, Joshua. You’ve got to hold out your hands to catch it.” He turned to Caroline. “Thank you for letting me come. Tell Will and Alice I will be there whenever they decide to hold the marriage.”

  She looked quickly at Joshua. “Now that we know we’re going ahead, the women are going to meet and make plans. Peter and Kathryn have determined that if Will and Alice are married, they will be too. We’ll let you know. But the baptism will be first thing in the morning, down near the ferry dock.”

  “I’ll be there.” He looked back at Joshua. “I can see myself out. Good evening.”

  Chapter 23

  Mary Ann rapped her spoon on the table sharply. In a moment, the buzz of women’s voices died down and all faces turned to her.

  “The Steed family women’s council is hereby called to order,” she intoned solemnly, looking around the room. There were ten of them in all in addition to her. Jessica Garrett was the oldest. Then came Caroline and Lydia, just three years’ difference in age. Melissa was next, followed by Rebecca and Jenny. Of the single ones, Alice sat in a chair beside Kathryn—these two being the focus of the meeting, of course. Rachel and Emily, the only two granddaughters old enough to be part of the council, flanked them on either side, both still dreamy eyed with the thoughts of a double wedding.

  “We have before us a challenge the likes of which we have never faced before,” Mary Ann went on, keeping her expression serious but unable to hide the sparkle in her eye. “We have fed the poor, sheltered the widowed, clothed the orphaned. We have started our own linsey-woolsey industry, grown fruit and vegetables, milked cows, churned cream, sold butter. We have made quilts, knitted mittens, sewn clothes and curtains for the temple, and now, most recently, have become tent makers extraordinaire.”

  “Hear, hear!” Jessica said.

  “But never have we had quite the task that is set before us now.”

  Alice raised her hand. “Mother Steed, I know that I am to blame for all of this. To get a wedding ready in one day would be hard enough, but two weddings? We don’t expect you to try to—”

  “Out of order! Out of order!” Lydia cried out, laughing.

  “Agreed,” Mary Ann said, giving Alice a stern look. “Miss Alice Samuelson will only speak when she is called upon.”

  “But—,” Kathryn began.

  “Out of order!” Jenny sang out, poking at her sister.

  “The two young women in question,” Mary Ann warned, shaking her finger at both of them, “will please contain themselves until they are asked to respond.” She looked at Kathryn. “We have only one question for Miss McIntire. Do you wish to be married on the morrow with your soon-to-be sister-in-law?”

  Kathryn colored and ducked her head. “Well, Peter is still trying to recover his breath, but yes.”

  “Good!” Emily cried triumphantly. “Doing a double wedding makes it all the more challenging.”

  “Now,” Mary Ann said, trying not to smile, “I would like to see how the council feels about this situation. Is there anyone here who thinks that one day is insufficient time for the Steed family women to pull off a fantastic wedding?”

  “No!” Rachel and Emily shouted together. The rest shook their heads emphatically.

  “Is there anyone here who thinks this task is too big for our council to handle properly?”

  “No!” they all shouted back at her, warming to the game now.

  “Then,” Mary Ann said primly, looking at the two laughing brides-to-be, “are there any further questions?”

  Alice started to raise her hand again, but Mary Ann slapped the table sharply. “I didn’t think there would be. All in favor of going to work right now to make this the best double wedding in the history of the United States, if not the world, raise your hand.”

  Again she didn’t give any time for a response. “Motion carries. The floor will now entertain proposals for how we proceed.”

  Laughing in delight now, hardly believing that this was the quiet and thoughtful missionary mother who had come home from Nashville, several of them shot their hands up. She pointed at Caroline. “Sister Steed.”

  “As prospective mother-in-law to Miss Samuelson, I would like to volunteer for the assignment to provide Alice with her wedding dress.”

  Jenny’s hand jerked up. “And as sister to the other bride-to-be, I get to do Kathryn’s.” She pulled a face. “Besides, I’m the only one who can handle her when she gets difficult—which is all too frequent. But please, don’t let Peter know that, at least not until after the wedding.” She jumped back, barely escaping Kathryn’s playful slap. “See what I mean?” she said ominously. “Anyway, I claim the privilege of providing a wedding dress for Kathryn.”

  “I’ll do the pies!” Melissa called out.

  “We can’t take that old red rooster with us on the trail anyway,” Rebecca said. “I’ll make chicken and dumplings.”


  Off they went now, chattering like a group of schoolgirls, making assignments, ticking off lists of things that would need to be done, naming people who would be invited and others who could help.

  Rachel Garrett, who was only five years younger than Alice, leaned over. When Jessica had come home and announced that Alice and Will were going to be married right away, Rachel had asked her mother a lot of questions about what this decision would mean to the couple. Jessica had not tried to soften the realities of what Will and Alice would face when they told Alice’s parents about their decision. Now Rachel took Alice’s hand in hers. “You’ll have to get used to the Steeds,” she said with warm affection and not a little pride, “we’re really quite bossy.”

  Alice laughed, but her eyes were shining with happiness. “I see that.”

  “It will be all right,” Rachel said, squeezing her hand. “You have another family now.”

  “I know,” Alice whispered. “And I am so glad.”

  It was not yet eight a.m. when there was a soft knock on the door. The women gathered around Kathryn and Alice in Mary Ann’s parlor looked up as the door was pushed open. Benjamin stuck his head in. “I understand it’s bad luck for the grooms to see their brides. How about the grandfather-in-law?”

  Mary Ann waved him in. “Normally,” she smiled, “that’s even worse luck, but since you’re going to marry these two, I think it will be all right.”

  “Oh, yes, Father Steed,” Kathryn called. “Come in.”

  As he walked across the room, Mary Ann motioned to the others. “We’re done here anyway,” she said. “We’ll go across to Joshua’s house and make sure everything is ready.”

  Without a word, Lydia, Melissa, Jessica, Rebecca, and Jenny all gathered up their things and followed Mary Ann silently out the door, shutting it behind them.

  Alice watched them, a little surprised at how swiftly they had gone. Then suddenly she understood. She turned to Benjamin and smiled warmly. “What have you and Mother Steed been cooking up?” she asked.