Clash

by Belle Aurora

  I read romance.

  I got what she meant.

  “Last but not least is our ever-ornery Connor Clash.” Her lips thinned. “Don’t expect much from him. He’s got issues. Never had a real relationship, loves his groupies. He doesn’t pretend to be more than what he is. He’s not only sarcastic but he’s a cynic to boot. Hopefully, he’ll stay out of your way and let you do your job. Just a warning though—” She looked at the closed door and opened her mouth to speak, when said door opened.

  What warning?

  I almost glared at the door.

  Amber! I wish to be warned!

  Amber straightened and forced a smiled at her husband, and when Micah looked down at my hands on her feet, Amber’s eyes widened and she pointed at me. “She offered!”

  Micah blinked at me. “You don’t have to do that.”

  From Micah’s reaction, something told me Amber got herself into trouble a lot of the time. But, again from Micah’s reaction, I could tell how much he loved his wife.

  “I know,” I said then smiled at Amber. “She’s right. I did offer.” I massaged her swollen foot. “I don’t like the idea of someone being in needless pain.”

  Micah leaned against the door, watching us closely. “You two seem to be getting along.”

  “She’s like the sister I never had.” Amber blew me a kiss and I chuckled quietly.

  Micah’s brows rose. “Amber, you have three sisters.”

  “Yeah,” Amber stated matter-of-factly. “And they’re all assholes.”

  Micah shared a tender look with his wife before turning to me and saying, “We’ve done everything we need to but you can stay as long as you like, Emily.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled before checking my wristwatch. My face fell.

  Ah, shoot. Is that the time?

  “But I have to go visit Nanna. She’s in the hospital,” I said in way of understanding.

  Simultaneously, Micah said, “Can I give you a ride?” while Amber ordered her husband, “Drive her.”

  Instantly, I was on my feet, waving them off. “No, no, no. I’m fine, really. I like to walk.”

  Micah didn’t look happy. “Are you sure?”

  Amber looked glum. “Really? I hate to walk.”

  “Really,” I assured them both. “I’m good.” They were so sweet that I laughed. “But thank you for the offer.”

  Before I left the first floor, I exchanged numbers with Amber. She made me promise to call her whenever, for whatever reason, because she was “so freaking bored, like, all the time.”

  She surprised me by pulling me into a hug as I said goodbye, and when Micah walked me back downstairs, I caught him looking at me curiously. At my enquiring glance, he shook his head. “You’re not what I thought you’d be.”

  I took a moment before answering him.

  “People rarely are,” I returned quietly.

  His “touché” was equally as quiet.

  When we walked back into the room and I saw the brawny band of men sitting at the table, going over paperwork of some kind, my stomach felt like it had been karate chopped.

  I really needed to work on that.

  “Um,” I began softly and they all turned to look at me. I tried very hard to look at them but my chin dipped as I spoke. “It was nice to meet you all.”

  Noah stood. “Do you need a ride?”

  “No, thank you.” I threw my thumb back over my shoulder. “Micah already offered.” I stopped to retrieve my backpack. “I guess I’ll see you in two weeks.”

  “Be there or be square,” uttered Lee, making the shape of a square with his thumbs and forefingers.

  Hell grinned. “Don’t stress. It’ll be fun. I promise.”

  “Okay.” I laughed softly, pushing my glasses up my nose.

  Noah took the few strides over. “I’ll walk you out.”

  “Thanks.” As I left the room, I quickly ran back and rushed out, “Bye,” waving eagerly.

  Hell called out, “Bye, Emmy.”

  We walked a short while but then I heard him. “Don’t tell me there’s nothing wrong with that chick.”

  Connor.

  No. He wasn’t on board the Emily train.

  The second we were out the door, Noah took in my fallen face. “Don’t take it personally. Connor’s an asshole, your typical moody artist. He doesn’t really like anyone.”

  “Sure,” I said quietly because as sweet as Noah was I didn’t really believe that.

  “How are you getting home?”

  “Bus.”

  Noah folded his big arms across his wide chest. “I could drive you.”

  “It’s okay. It’s not too far,” I lied easily but averted my eyes just in case they gave me away.

  Noah opened the heavy gate. “April fourteenth. Bright and early.”

  For some dumb reason, I said, “The early bird gets the worm,” and the second it was out of my mouth, I closed my eyes and slapped a hand onto my forehead, sighing.

  Noah’s light chuckle was so deep I felt it dancing around me.

  How humiliating.

  “Okay, well, I’m going to leave now,” I told him, walking backward, cheeks flushed as I adjusted my backpack.

  At the gate, Noah poked his head out. He watching me saunter away.

  I walked faster.

  “They’re really nice. The fact that I’m uncomfortable around them is all on me, I’m afraid,” I explained to Jim as I leaned back in my chair, getting comfortable.

  “Okay,” said my adopted grandfather with a frown. “I don’t know how I feel about you travelling with a bunch of ne’er-do-wells.”

  Oh my. Jim did show his age sometimes. “They’re not ne’er-do-wells. They’re rock stars.”

  He scoffed, “Same difference.”

  Turning to watch Nanna sleep, I thought about all she had done for me and spoke quietly. “I’m going to do this, Jim.”

  “I know you are, Em,” he said, then admitted, “Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna worry about you.”

  “Don’t worry about me,” I told him. “Worry about her. She needs it more than I do.”

  A comfortable silence encased us as we exchanged glances.

  “You talk to St Jude’s?” Jim asked politely.

  “Yes, this afternoon. They’re going to take her next week.” And that was that.

  Jim watched me closely, taking in my dejected expression. He took a deep breath in then spoke softly, “You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I think this will be good for you. It’s time to start living again, Em.” He smiled and the lines around his eyes creased. “Guess I didn’t expect you to jump into the deep end.” He threw me a shrewd look. “With the sharks.” His brows rose. “Holding a bucket of chum.”

  Laughing under my breath, I let out a fatigued sigh. “I’ll call at every stop.”

  “No. Don’t do that.” He shook his head. “Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing. Fay and I, we’ll be fine.” His soft gaze landed on Nanna. “I’ll visit all the time. Hell, if she wants me to be Bert, I’ll be Bert.”

  It was that very moment my suspicions were confirmed.

  “You love her very much, don’t you?” My words were softly spoken.

  Jim didn’t answer for a long time but when he did, his response was just above a whisper. “That I do.”

  In the thick of the silence that followed, Jim piped in with, “Now, don’t be calling me Pawpaw or nothing like that. I already feel older than a crusty white turd. I don’t need that.”

  Covering my mouth, I laughed as quietly as I could so as not to wake Nanna. When Jim spotted me, his body shook in silent mirth.

  I truly loved Jim. He was a great man.

  He wasn’t a sap so I couldn’t tell him that. Instead, I uttered, “I don’t know where I would be without you, Jimbo. Spent a lot of time saving this quietly confused girl.”

  But Jim narrowed his eyes on me. “That girl is neither quiet nor is
she confused. She made a tough decision at a tough time. She’s strong and, from my experience, bullheaded as they come.” He took in a deep breath then let it out slowly. “That girl is a firecracker. One day, the world is gonna know it and wonder how in hell they never saw it the first time ‘round.”

  It was overwhelming, hearing that.

  I discreetly took a tissue from my pocket and blotted my eyes.

  “You’re not crying, are you?”

  I shook my head but my response was faint, unsteady. “No, sir.”

  “Good,” he said gruffly. “No room for sissies at this table.”

  My shining eyes met his. Pawpaw Jim winked and, for a single moment, I wished I didn’t have to leave.

  Chapter Four

  Born to Run.

  Emily

  I was sweating. This had been going on a while now. Before I even stepped into the cab, I’d been sweating. The entire ride over to the depot… sweating. Now that the tour bus came into view, one could take a guess at what I was doing.

  Yep.

  Sweating.

  “Right here, please.” I stopped the cab a way back, handed the driver some cash and exited the vehicle, throwing the inconspicuous-looking duffle over my shoulder. The driver got out, removed my luggage from the trunk, and I thanked him.

  My mouth was drier than the Sahara. The longer I looked at the big black bus, the more nervous I became.

  This was the craziest thing I’d ever done. I suppose that didn’t say much considering my version of crazy meant buying a vanilla latte rather than a regular.

  Are you really doing this?

  My thoughts drifted to Nanna. She was a good woman, one who dedicated her life to me, to raising me right, and she did the best she could with the resources she had. I spent the last few years watching her health decline and at the time, all I could offer was my company.

  I took a deep breath in and released it slowly.

  Nanna needed St Jude’s. And if I had the power to make that happen, I was going to do whatever it took to make the last years of her life comfortable, regardless of the fact that Nanna’s comfort was costing me mine.

  I felt like a coward, leaving without an explanation, without a single word. Gutless is what it was. The nurses at St Jude’s were sweet and reassured me that even if I had, she’d likely not remember moments later. It didn’t help the weighty feeling I had in my stomach.

  This was it.

  My tongue felt rough against the roof of my mouth and I tried to swallow past the feeling of anxiousness rushing through me. My feet started to move and I was on my way. When I got close, my anxiety soared.

  What are you afraid of, Emily?

  Quite a lot, actually.

  There was a deep-seeded dread inside me that I had a hard time deciphering and it wasn’t about leaving Nanna, so what was the root of it?

  My mind went a mile a minute and I slowed my paces. With every step I took, a new possibility presented itself.

  The inevitable sting of change.

  Working again and being useful to somebody other than your grandmother.

  Living your life solely for you.

  Honestly, I thought it was a bit of all of those things and if I were being one hundred percent honest, I felt ashamed for wanting all of those things.

  At long last, I approached the bus with a forced smile. Nobody needed to know about my internal dilemma. Every time my stomach pitched, my smile widened. I would not let my fear show.

  Would it be inappropriate if I started hyperventilating?

  Yes.

  Too late.

  That was when a man in a black suit came to stand in front of me. He held out his hand, palm up, and spoke firmly. “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to take a step back for me.”

  Eyes wide as saucers, my heart lurched, but I did as I was told.

  Ah, crud.

  He lowered his sunglasses marginally. “State your business.”

  My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Well, that’s not true. I squeaked like a gerbil then stupidly stood there speechless.

  I wasn’t exactly good with confrontation. Like in ninth grade, when Becky Amour cornered me by my locker and asked me if I was as stupid as I looked, and I vomited on her white K-Swiss sneakers.

  I still can’t believe she sent me a cleaning bill.

  My gut clenched painfully.

  I still can’t believe I paid it.

  The man’s brows narrowed before he huffed out a breath. “Yeah, you need to move along.”

  A gentle hand on my shoulder spun me around and guided me partway across the depot. “Yo, Craig.” Loud footfalls followed and then a tall body was blocking me. I squinted into the sunlight, peering up at the man, pushing my glasses up my nose.

  Noah grinned down at me. “Where you going, short stuff?”

  A harsh breath left me in a whoosh and my hands shook. I almost doubled over in relief.

  Oh, thank God.

  Noah was here and he’d save me from the brute named Craig who, by the way, uttered an incredulous, “You know her?”

  My mind poked its tongue out at him.

  “Craig, this is Emily.” Reaching down, Noah took my luggage in his hand, put his arm around my shoulders and guided me back toward the bus. “She works for us.”

  Craig frowned then blinked at me. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  My heart thumped in my chest and a flush started at the base of my neck. The words were whisper-quiet. “You scared me.”

  Noah glared. Craig’s muttered reply was affronted. “Way to make me feel like a jerk.” Then he reached across Noah and held his hand out. “I apologize.” I hesitated before placing my hand in his. He held it firm and gave it a single tug. “Nice to meet you.”

  Okay, so maybe Craig wasn’t a brute, just cautious. I could appreciate that.

  “Nice to—” It was hard to breathe, my voice fading into a hush. “—meet you.” I followed this up with silence and a lot of it.

  Craig released my fingers, his brows raised, and pursed his lips. “Well, this conversation has just been thrilling, Emily. We should do it again sometime.”

  “Leave her alone,” uttered Noah, chuckling lightly. The second we approached the bus, Noah took my suitcase and threw it into the holding with the others. He looked down at me, knitting his brow. “That’s all you brought?”

  Without thinking, I immediately responded, “That’s all I own,” and when Noah’s face turned solemn, the flush at my neck rose to heat my cheeks. I dipped my chin and held the small duffle close to my body.

  Pity party down aisle two.

  “Look who decided to show,” called Hell, and I glanced up at him, smiling. When he was at arm’s length, my smile widened and he returned it. “How you doing, Emmy?”

  Emmy?

  That was the second time he called me that and, after mild consideration, I decided I liked it.

  Warmth spread through me. “Fine.” My smile turned into a grin. “How are you?”

  “Bitchin’. You know how it is. All I do is kick ass and take names.”

  Yes, they were words but the order of them was just baffling. I had no idea what he just said and that made me laugh. “I don’t know what that means.”

  Hell looked down at me as if I were the cutest thing he’d ever seen and lifted his arm to rest it on top of my head, using me as a kickstand. “That’s because you’re so little.”

  I couldn’t quit giggling, and from behind me, I heard a strong male belch. My eyes widened at Connor and he smirked. “Oh look. The help.”

  Wow. Okay then.

  Time apart clearly hadn’t changed his view of me.

  Lee came down the steps, out of the bus, and scowled at him. “Piss off, man. Don’t start.” Then he jerked his chin at me. “Hey kid. Howzit?”

  I liked Lee. “I’m good. How are you?”

  His lips twitched. “A’ight.”

 
Connor stood there, leaning against the bus. “What about me? You don’t care how I’m doing?”

  Oh. “How are—”

  He cut me off with a sharp wave of his hand. “Nope.” He pushed off the bus and glared at me. “I don’t want your pity, Emily.” He walked the steps into the bus, narrowing his eyes at me, and then he was gone.

  My brows lifted high, I wondered what I’d done to get that reaction.

  But Noah laughed to himself. “Don’t worry about him. He’s got a weird sense of humor. You’ll get used to it.” Oh, so that was a joke? Ha. Funny. Not. A slight pause, and then he asked a smiling, “You ready?”

  Was I?

  No. Not at all.

  Was it too late to thank them for their time and leave?

  Yep.

  All right then. Here goes nothing.

  Luckily, the fear of missing out overshadowed the fear of living. “I’m ready.”

  Oh, God, I didn’t actually know if I was and that made me feel slightly ill.

  Noah gestured to the stairs. “After you.”

  I stared down at the bottom step a long moment before I gripped the rail and pulled myself up, and a wave of excitement rushed me.

  One small step for many. One giant leap for Emily.

  Noah waited patiently as I slowly walked the steps. Once I made it to the top, I smiled to myself, internally clapping.

  Hooray!

  But when I turned and focused on the interior of the bus, I dropped my duffle.

  Oh my God. “Cool.” The word came out slowly, drawn out.

  I felt a large presence behind me retrieve my duffle. “We sure like it.”

  Mouth gaping, my eyes roamed my surroundings, taking it all in. To the right was a kitchenette, complete with sink and stove. To the left was a lounging area with a black leather U-shaped sofa that looked like it could easily seat twelve. In front of the sofa was a small table. Mounted on the wall was a large television, and behind that looked to be a booth where people could eat or work. After that was another modest three-seater sofa.

  Noah placed a gentle hand to my back, walking me down the center of the spectacular mobile home.