All I Want for Christmas

by Denise A. Agnew

  Warmed by the woman’s smile, she thanked her. “Thanks again for taking me in like this, Mrs. Claussen.”

  The woman’s sparkling grin faded, and for a moment Abby thought Nick’s mother might say something profound. The serious glint in Mrs. Claussen’s eyes intrigued her. “No thanks needed, my dear. Just you rest. Have you got everything you need?”

  Abby nodded. “I’m fine.”

  The woman turned to leave, but then paused. “Abby, I’m sorry about tonight. I know it’s none of my business. I never interfere in my son’s love life—” She’d laughed. “What am I saying?” Her eyes sparkled with renewed glee. “I’ve meddled in his life perhaps far too often.”

  “What parent doesn’t? Besides, it seems to me you’ve done a great job with your kids. You have a wonderful family, Mrs. Claussen.”

  Mrs. Claussen smiled. “Thanks, dear. That makes me feel better.” After a pause, she’d said, “We came up to Russel with a purpose, Abby.”

  “To enjoy time with your family and include Nick?”

  “Not just that. We...I knew for certain, when I heard the way Nick talked about you.” She sighed and reached for Abby’s hands, pressing her skin gently. “I knew that he’d found someone special. I pride myself on being a fine judge of character. And I knew the moment I met you that you’re everything Nick has said.”

  Abby wanted to ask what he’d said, her heart burgeoning with a secret, unusual joy.

  Quickly dropping Abby’s hands, Mrs. Claussen had retreated to the door. “Hang in there, dear. It’ll all work out.”

  With that Mrs. Claussen wished her a good night and left.

  For several seconds after the woman left, Abby stared at the door, shocked for the umpteenth time that day. Was there no end to the surprises? No stopping the bumpy ride?

  Now she glanced at the connecting door between her room and Nick’s room. From what Nick’s mother had revealed, Abby had a sneaking suspicion Mrs. Claussen had arranged the rooms to that end.

  Mason and Anna, and Amy had this floor as well. Downstairs Brit and Tom would camp out in a smaller bedroom. The first cabin would house Mr. and Mrs. Claussen, Nella, Jason and the twins. Aunt Cassandra and Uncle Dick would be in the first cabin, too. And, now that Candace had arrived, perhaps she’d flop on the couch. There wasn’t room for her anywhere else.

  Abby slipped out of her clothes and sank into the bathtub, intent on soaking away weariness and the ache in her heart. She thought about how much she’d enjoyed Nick’s family. Their wonderful togetherness had shown her something she’d wished for but never received. Family love.

  “What good is a family if it can’t show its love?” she whispered out loud.

  She’d ached for it. Burned for it. Wanted her aunt and uncle’s devotion for as long as she could remember. Instead she’d received their coldness and her uncle’s perverted needs.

  And now, when she’d nestled into a blanket of approval and acceptance from Nick’s family, Candace had broken that security in half. What was she supposed to learn from this? Was she supposed to toughen to rhino hide from life’s repeated bludgeons?

  “Get over it,” she said to the empty bathroom.

  Abby knew life had also given her many blessings, and she’d worked for the quality of her life.

  So why wasn’t that enough?

  As soon Candace had made her shocking announcement, Abby’s jumbled, troubled thoughts had taken a downturn. The last few days had battered and bruised her defenses. She didn’t mean to turn into a wuss, but she also knew when her reserves had shattered. She must regroup and decide what to do from here.

  What if Candace is telling the truth?

  Tears spilled down Abby’s face.

  Before she could give into a full-blown sob-fest, she heard a knock on the bedroom door. “Drat.”

  Stepping out of the tub, she grabbed her thick forest green terry cloth robe and padded for the door. When the door swung wide open, she almost gasped.

  “Nick.”

  A sheepish, please-forgive-me smile curved his lips, but in his eyes she saw much more. Deep concern. Desperation.

  Desperation?

  Had he come to tell her that he’d reunited with Candace? Nick looked more humble and defeated than any time she’d seen him.

  “Can I come in?” he asked softly. “I know it’s late, but it’s important.”

  She nodded, a weight pressing on her chest. When she closed the door, she turned to him and he stepped close. Instead of pushing him away, demanding answers, she tried a tentative smile.

  Nick’s gaze cruised from the damp ends of her hair, to her bare toes. Despite everything that had happened, a slow, intense burn centered inside her; she recalled that she wore nothing under the robe. Abby’s emotions, her nerve endings felt raw for the entire world to see. Because the entire world amounted to this man. A man who looked worried. Ready to beg forgiveness for a horrible indiscretion. She braced herself.

  “Quite a night, eh?” she asked.

  He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “Abby, you know this isn’t what I wanted to happen. I—I wanted this to be the Christmas you’ve never had.”

  She made a sound that hovered somewhere between disbelief and amusement. “Oh, it’s that all right.”

  Nick winced. “I’ve got to come right out with it, Abby.”

  She waited, nervousness tumbling her stomach into horrendous knots.

  “Candace did this because she thought I’d marry her. She figured the shock value would do the trick.” He shrugged and trudged to the window. He stood there as if looking outside would provide answers. Instead the night remained black and unforgiving. “It wasn’t a pretty conversation.”

  Abby shook her head, tightening her belt. “I can imagine. I’ve been...thinking about what happened. Trying to decide.”

  He turned quickly, his stride bringing him close to her again. “Decide what?”

  “Why fate seems to be against me. Why every Christmas is a disaster.”

  “Abby,” he groaned. “You know that’s not true. Have you hated this Christmas?”

  She sighed and crossed her arms, shivering. Winds outside reached gale force, ramming the cabin with winter fury. “Not until Queen Bitch—I mean Candace—arrived.”

  A smile flickered across his mouth and disappeared. “That’s an apt description for her. Abby, I don’t want you to misunderstand what’s going on.”

  “Then tell me. My mind’s racing for answers.”

  Nick gave her the account, and his suspicions about Candace’s motives. “She doesn’t love me. She wants my money and the prestige she thinks the Claussen name can bring to her. And I know she’s been sleeping with other men.”

  Abby’s soul felt worn and weary. “It’s a soap opera, Nick.” She smiled sarcastically. “If it wasn’t so tragic, I’d find it funny. Instead it worries me. Makes me cold.”

  When she rubbed her arms, he clasped her shoulders. She shivered, but this time from the pleasure his touch invoked.

  No. It wouldn’t do. Abby said, “I—please don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  He caught her gaze and held it with a blue flame, reminding her how she’d treasured his kisses, his tenderness. What had drawn her to this man in the first place hadn’t disappeared because of Candace’s machinations. She hated that Candace had attempted to humiliate him.

  “She wants to keep you for her own,” Abby said.

  They stood close, but he moved nearer. “She can’t have me. She’s never had me. There’s only one woman I want to be with and I think you already know who that is.”

  Something hot tingled throughout her body, and the primitive need of a woman for her man gave her strength.

  “Don’t be so nice to me. I might not keep my distance.”

  He brushed a damp tendril of hair from her cheek. “Then don’t keep your distance. I realize how this must make you feel, and I wanted to let you know that I don’t love her. That I don’t believe her chil
d is mine, and I asked for a paternity test.”

  Her mind eased, she wanted to snuggle into his arms and kiss him until they both ignited. “I think perhaps your family believes the child is yours.”

  Exasperation framed the softness in his eyes. “There you go again, caring what other people think.”

  Nick was right, and the pain twanged her, ran loud over her senses. “It’ll take me awhile to learn to not care, Nick. Can you tolerate that?”

  “If you can endure this crazy situation. Until we find out what’s really going on with the baby.”

  Abby nodded, remembering her own staggering wish for a child, revealed tonight when she’d played with the twins. “What will you do if the child is yours?”

  “I’ll want to be a part of the baby’s life. But not as Candace’s husband. I’d give financial support. I’d give the baby all the love a father should.”

  Abby’s sigh shuddered through her parted lips, but it didn’t drain the tightness from her limbs. “It’ll be heaven and hell all wrapped in an untidy package.”

  That half smile touched his lips again. “Like most of life?”

  She nodded. “Don’t I know it?”

  Once again he touched her, brushing his fingers over her face lightly. His touch telegraphed restraint. “Hell is thinking that you don’t care about me any more. That you’ll turn away from me.”

  Softly Abby drew a deep breath to cleanse more than her lungs. She needed strength. She needed him. “I’ll only turn away if you ask me to.”

  Nick’s thumb caressed her cheek near her mouth, and Abby wanted him closer than ever. She wanted to ease the torment that wound her tighter than a clock spring. She wanted him to embrace her and erase memories of every Christmas she’d suffered through. Even this one.

  “God, Abby,” he said, his voice ragged, his eyes explicit with desire. “I’d never leave you.”

  Abby wanted to touch him so much, and she couldn’t resist the temptation any longer.

  Gently she slid her hands over his sweater-clad chest. “I think your mother put us in rooms next to each other for a reason, don’t you?”

  “Think so?” he asked as he closed his arms about her, bringing Abby flush against him.

  “Absolutely.” Her arms went around his neck.

  Breath slipped through their lips rapidly as Nick’s mouth hovered over hers for a second before capturing her in a heady kiss.

  17

  They’d shared kisses before, but nothing prepared Abby for this one. Hot and immediate, Nick’s passion translated in deep, hungry demands. As he tasted her, leaving nothing uncovered, he beckoned her to respond without hesitation.

  And she did.

  Abby didn’t remember when the robe slipped off her shoulders… if she’d untied it or he had. The robe fell in a puddle on the carpet and then his big, warm palms spread over her back. Abby arched against Nick’s caresses as his mouth left hers to make tender acquaintance with her left ear.

  She rippled and shuddered against him as he whispered in her ear, “I want you. Now.”

  “Yes,” she whispered back, no longer cold.

  When he drew back to look at her, she enjoyed the raw masculine appreciation igniting his eyes. Excitement urged her forward and as his hands trailed down to cup her bottom, she tugged on his sweater. Without hesitation he let her go, then Nick yanked the sweater over his head.

  “Wow,” she murmured, tracing her fingers through dark hair and palming hard muscle.

  “Wow as in you like what you see?” he asked huskily.

  Abby grinned. “I’ve never seen or touched a more gorgeous man in my life.”

  She smothered his throaty laugh with her kiss. She reached for his waistband. She struggled for a moment, until he helped her: unsnapping, unzipping.

  She touched him to enjoy manly curves she’d only imagined hid beneath his clothes. Even her dreams hadn’t prepared her for the broadness of his shoulders, the sculpted solid muscle under smooth skin. His washboard stomach rippled in reaction as she traced her hands over him. Pleasure vaulted through her.

  Abby broke from his kiss. His gaze told her he had to have her. Between nibbling on her neck he spoke in hushed whispers what he planned to do, what he wanted to do. She smiled, tears hovering on her lashes as joy found her. His husky, erotic suggestions simmered in her stomach, firing her imagination and a staggering desire. Her breathing came quick, her hands on a restless search to map his body.

  Nick cupped her face and his expression hinted of hidden sorrow. “I really did want to give you the best Christmas you ever had.”

  Plunging her hands through his hair, she kissed his cheek, and then his chin. She saw anxiety linked to his desire and Abby hastened to reassure him. “All I want for Christmas is you.”

  Ease slipped over his features, erasing last doubts. “Take me, then.”

  As he circled her breast with his lips, a feather light tremor danced through Abby. She wanted him inside her and she didn’t think she could wait.

  “Nick,” she gasped.

  “Mmmm,” he moaned softly as he at last traced his tongue over her nipple.

  Her whole body jerked in response, delighting in each caress. Nick tasted her, rubbing with strokes that gave a solace she’d longed for. No man had touched her with such reverence, yet brought her against him hard. She writhed, realizing vaguely that the breathy little moans she heard came from her. A tight pulsing ache gathered strength between her thighs, a fever pitch demanding she do something now to bring the ultimate satisfaction.

  He picked her up in his arms, taking her down with him to the bed.

  Within her came a gut deep feeling that this was right. Abby could put aside everything she’d feared for this oblivion. She would know what it meant for a man to make love to her with fierce and staggering passion.

  Nick kissed a tender path down her stomach, pausing to toss her a sin packed grin. He slid down, down, lingering over her legs with his hands and mouth, driving her higher with each teasing brush of flesh against flesh.

  His sudden touch, parting velvet heat, made Abby clench with bliss. She heard her own raspy moan, and telltale shivers traveled her body. He caressed and explored the newly discovered treasure. Each touch sent her gasping, needing a release.

  “Sweet heaven,” he whispered. “Save me.”

  Abby moved against him, great hunger leaping in bounds, heading for an escalation. She opened her eyes and saw Nick watching her, his gratification stimulating her frenzy.

  Working a wicked path up her body, taking time to linger on warm, heated secrets, he learned each inch of her. She shivered, rising into an ecstasy that seemed to have no end. Nick’s touches and tastes drove and filled her until she reached a pinnacle, gasped and panted.

  With a ragged moan she went aloft, her broken cries telling him she’d found a special paradise.

  When he kissed her again, Abby welcomed the swift return of need.

  “Nick,” she said between one hot kiss and then another. Desperate for him she arched. “Please.”

  Abby balanced, hovering between this world and the next. She felt Nick’s restraint unraveling like a frayed rope. It was the most potent and primitive thing she’d experienced. No regrets perforated desire. Heart pounding, Abby pulled Nick to her, rising against him as he lowered his hips between her thighs.

  Among the haze of sensual gratification, Nick realized this woman had given him something he’d never had. He felt it in the way she arched against him.

  A love that couldn’t be destroyed. Deena had, in some ways, never filled each corner of Nick’s heart. But as his hands moved over Abby in a relentless search to claim her, he knew this woman had conquered his soul. Abby would take him on journeys that opened his mind and spirit. He’d learned from her about courage and healing. He’d found a special paradise he knew would never come to him in another woman’s embrace.

  Nick’s thoughts dissolved to pure sensation. She’d touched him in ways that propelled
him to complete their union. Heat rose inside him, threatening to break free. He wanted. Oh, yes, he wanted her more than he’d wanted any other woman.

  “Now,” he whispered.

  He found her, ready and waiting for him, and the mere heat set him alight. Again and again he teased her, assuring that their joining would create fire.

  Abby moaned and Nick complied, taking her mouth and her body at the same time. She gasped into his mouth as he stroked deep. He didn’t rest. Didn’t give her time to think or pause or wonder. Nothing sweetly slow about this time. Only forceful heaven.

  Too much time had elapsed between the day they’d met and the time their bodies chose this dance. Instead they knew instinctively that they needed the ultimate pleasure hard and fast.

  Again. Again. Again he came to her. Everything centered on the movement, the heartbeats, the breathing and the uttered endearments. She thought she’d die with pleasure as he accelerated the pace, as each hard thrust became exceptional demand.

  Allowing the deep pleasure within her to move into her blood, Abby enfolded Nick in her body and her heart. Even tender thoughts disappeared under the staggering animal heat that drove them onward.

  Restless.

  Eager.

  Burning with something she’d never needed before. Had always needed.

  As he stabbed deep, Abby felt the rush take her up, obliterating all reason. And she knew he was at the boundary, his breathing heavy, his male sounds of pleasure a thrilling aphrodisiac in her blood.

  The steady drive of his hips catapulted her toward oblivion, and she reached for it, willing herself to surrender no matter what the cost. Sweet fire hit, driving her hips upward against him and a muffled cry from her throat. He stifled her moans with his lips.

  He knew she’d lost it. Lost it all in the way her hands clutched, pressed, searched over his back and buttocks. The way her body moved, her tight warmth attesting to her power. Culminating in one extravagant need, it drove him mad for her. He couldn’t get deep enough or move fast enough. Driving, plunging, he relished her abandon.