The movement of my hand makes the bracelet I still wear roll partly down my arm. It’s probably sad that I still wear it, but each morning, I can’t stop myself from putting it on.
It still looks lonely with only two charms, but I also can’t bring myself to purchase any others. It wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t feel right.
Gemma and I just finished a case last week, so I have been working in the office, doing paperwork. I didn’t expect to be seeing Scarlett. Not that I’m sure why I care. I’m sure she doesn’t care that I look like an accountant who doesn’t know the meaning of fun.
Cynthia!
The hurried messages jolt me into action. I stand and walk around my desk, approaching the front area and holding my breath when I see Scarlett.
Her reddish-brown hair, looking darker in the cooler weather, is no longer in its signature ponytail. Instead, it’s resting over her shoulders. She is dressed in a large scarf and a colorful sweater, since it has been cold enough to freeze your extremities when you are out in the wind.
“I need to speak with you,” Scarlett immediately says, her eyes pleading.
“You do?” I stumble out, wondering if I haven’t perhaps slipped into a dream.
This can’t be real, can it?
“Yes. Somewhere private?”
I blink stupidly at that, and then I take in that Sasha isn’t the only one eyeing us. Declan is next to her, and Joey is standing at his doorway, watching us carefully.
“Come into my office,” I offer, mentally trying to recall how much of a mess I have left it in. I’m not usually a slob, but since I have been doing two jobs, desk tidiness hasn’t really been a priority.
“Actually, can we sit in your car?”
My eyebrow jumps up at the suggestion, but I try to not read too much into it.
“Okay.”
I grab my keys from my office, and then we leave with many eyes on us, none more curious and concerned than Sasha’s.
Moving back into the cold air outside distracts me, especially since I never thought to grab my coat. Sounds of trucks idling and cutting steel echo around us.
I spare a quick glance at the large cranes I see over the fence. Construction next door is in full-swing. I assume they are trying to finish before the weather turns too bad, or someone goes bust again.
Usually, we are in the cursed building, having had four accidents since Zander started J.P.I. Though, the previous arson attempt wasn’t enough to fully destroy it. Maybe we pushed our bad office mojo onto our neighbors?
I shift my glance to my parked car, and as soon as we are both seated inside, everything about this situation rushes over me.
I inhale deeply, having forgotten the sweet cinnamon and rose smell her body lotion and the conditioner she always loved. I used to love the smell of cinnamon and could barely eat anything containing it without getting a burst of warmth as I was reminded of Scarlett. Now it just makes me sad.
“What’s up?” I ask.
She doesn’t speak at first, and I have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from pushing her.
I know it’s sad, but part of me is just happy that she even wants to talk to me. Though she looks like she wants to vomit.
“I might be in trouble.”
“What?” I gasp, any warm or happy feelings vanishing instantly. “What happened?”
“You remember how Wally got arrested?”
Like I could forget.
I nod, not sure where she is heading with this. My mind races as I wait for her to continue.
“It turns out he knew more than they realized. He ended up taking a plea bargain in exchange for testifying against the supplier. No one was able to get close to him, but Wally knew him from school. It meant this guy trusted him enough to let him in on some secrets he never expected Wally to repeat.”
My mind whirls with this knowledge and how it ties to the reason Scarlett is here. “You think someone is after you because of Wally testifying?”
“The police don’t think it’s a risk. Wally has been placed in protective custody until after he testifies. They said they’re just doing it as a precaution. But, since there haven’t been any credible threats made against me or my parents and no indication that the person he is testifying against will go to any lengths to shut Wally up, they can’t spare the resources to give us protection, too.”
“That’s bullshit!” I snap, unable to hold back.
“They’re right. The man might be some sort of big deal in the drug world, but he has a set of rules that he and his people follow. They are to sell his drugs without force. He has rules against selling to kids and rules against murdering his customers or their loved ones. And, while people might have died from his product, no one died from not meeting a payment deadline. For all intents and purposes, he is a nonviolent criminal. He just also happens to head up one of the biggest drug cartels in Chicago.”
I take a moment to take all that in, starting with me shaking my head in disbelief and ending with me cursing Wally and his ability to fuck everything up to epic proportions.
“That doesn’t make sense. If he started taking customers away from already established drug dealers, there would be hell to pay.”
“Right, well, he established these rules once he cornered the market. Or, at least his father did. His father was running the show, and I am told he was brutal. He has hundreds of deaths tied to him. Hundreds,” Scarlett repeats, not that she needs to since my heart rate has shot up with this information and my stomach has apparently let an industrial clothes drier take up residence inside me, currently going through a rough spin cycle.
“Shit, how can they think you aren’t in danger?”
“The father is no longer in charge. He was murdered five years ago. His son just took over. Apparently, he doesn’t have as much blood on his hands as his father did.”
I glance out the window for a second, trying to calm my hectic thoughts and think this through reasonably. Drug dealers aren’t exactly an area I am well-informed in.
“If he doesn’t hurt family members, then why do you think you’re in trouble?”
“I might not be,” she rushes out, but the strain I see over her face, the tense way she is holding herself, and the stress in her eyes speaks loud and clear. “Maybe I’m being paranoid, but Wally is going to help take him down. That’s huge. Who just sits around and does nothing when he has access to the resources he does?”
“So, you think he might make an exception to his no-hurting-family-members rule?”
“I don’t know,” she whispers, her voice full of doubt now as she glances down at her fidgeting hands.
“You do, because you’re here and you’re talking to me,” I point out, moving my eyes over her again, unable to keep them off her for long. “Have you shared these concerns with the police?”
“Yes, but they just reiterated that, until there is a credible threat made against me or my parents, their hands are tied.”
I shake my head again, understanding where the police are coming from. After all, there are only so many people and not enough to cover everything. Then again, I don’t get how someone could ignore any sort of threat coming from someone this high up if Scarlett’s description of him is to be believed.
“Have you noticed anything suspicious happening around you?”
“I feel watched. Sometimes, I swear there are eyes on me. I’ve had a few hang-ups on my cell. I don’t know. I know it isn’t much, but it’s freaking me out.” She appears even more panicked just speaking it out loud.
Without thinking, I take her hand, squeezing it tightly in my grip. This is the first time I have touched her in months.
“It’s okay,” I say calmly, hoping to put her at ease. “I’ll get the team on this, and we’ll—”
“No!” she shouts, now gripping my hand tightly as she turns and looks me in the eye.
“No?”
“I don’t want this getting back to Nix. He’s been through so much already with
his dad. I don’t want him worrying about me or about our restaurant. He’s had enough drama, and I don’t want him to think I am going to bring new drama when we reopen.”
I try to decipher her words, shocked and annoyed that she is willing to put her safety on the line for this.
“Nix would want to know, and he would never turn his back on you. Besides, I’m not talking about Nix.”
She is shaking her head before I even finish. “You’re talking about Harvey, and to ask him to keep something like that from Nix is not fair to him.”
“Fine, then I won’t include Harvey—”
“We all know how that office works. Nothing is a secret there.” Her voice is pleading, and I almost cave just from her tone.
“Look, if you truly believe your safety is a concern, are you really willing to risk it just to spare Nix some hurt feelings?”
“Right now, I just have a feeling. I have nothing concrete.”
“And if I were to find something concrete?”
She takes a deep breath, seemingly forcing the next words out. “Then I am willing to readdress it with you. I’m asking you for this, and I’m hoping you won’t betray my trust again.”
Her words strike me the way she probably hoped they would.
It takes several shaky breaths before I am able to answer her.
“I won’t let you down,” I promise, even though it goes against what I want. “Why come to me? I mean, I know you say you don’t want Nix to find out, but why me? There are other private investigators around here.”
I’m not sure why I ask. Do I need to know? Doesn’t it matter?
Maybe I’m hoping for something more. Maybe I hope there might be forgiveness in this act and the acknowledgement that she has missed me as much as I have missed her.
“Because I know you won’t charge me. All my money is tied up right now, either in the restaurant that I am now a partner in or in the three different credit cards I just maxed out to surprise Mom and Dad with a European cruise for their thirtieth wedding anniversary.”
Another strike to my heart. I’m not sure I disguise the disappointment or hurt well.
“Don’t think this is more than what it is. You hurt me. You used what I told you in confidence against my brother. It took him months to even speak to me. You did that. And once trust is broken, I’m not sure it’s ever possible to get back completely.”
I can’t bear to look at her, my eyes wet. It’s my turn to glance down at my lap, staring at the incomplete charm bracelet. “I am so sorry for what I did.”
“I know you are, and I know you didn’t intend to hurt me when you did it. But you knew it was wrong and you did it anyway. We all live with the consequences. I think this is ours now to live with.”
Silence echoes around us after those words.
I try desperately to catch my breath and speak without the quiver of emotion scratching my throat. “I still care about you. I miss you,” I quietly admit, still unable to meet her eyes in case she cuts me down again.
“I miss you, too,” she admits, cutting me in a way I didn’t expect. “I’ll email you all the details I have, as well as my new address and number. Is that all you’ll need?”
I nod, unable to speak around the ball of emotion now clogging my throat.
She gives me one last small smile, removes her hand from my grip, and then opens the car door, letting in the chilled air before she shuts it and rushes back toward the street.
Her words ring in my ears long after she’s gone, her scent still wrapped around me, and my hand still vibrating from her touch.
How can she still affect me this way? It’s been months; why can’t I move on?
When a notification dings from my phone, telling me that Scarlett emailed what I need, I finally step out of my car and head back to the office. I have a job to do, and I intend to make sure not one single hair is harmed on Scarlett’s head. This is the most important job I have ever been given, and I am on my own for it. I need to be focused. I need to push aside any heartache.
I can do this.
I have to.
I already know I’m about to face my first hurdle just by walking into J.P.I.’s front door and facing Sasha.
God, help me.
Chapter 3
Walking back into the office is like walking into the middle of a storm. As soon as I open the door, I see everyone except Zander and Gemma standing by Sasha’s desk. And, as soon as everyone ascertains I am not about to collapse on the floor in a heap of tears, there is a flutter of motion as they try to look busy.
Joey shoves his phone to his ear, talking quickly into it, even after it rings with an incoming call before he can make it back into his office. Harvey takes an extra moment to jolt into action, scanning me a little more accusingly than the others, before he, too, jumps into motion. He turns on the spot, hands Declan a piece of paper, which Declan doesn’t seem to know what to do with, and then he makes an excuse to get back to his office. Sasha doesn’t even pretend she’s not waiting for an explanation, but Declan sure looks out of place as he shuffles between each foot, leaning on Sasha’s desk then standing tall.
“Everything okay?” he finally asks when I haven’t taken more than a few steps inside and there is a considerable amount of silence as we all wait for the first one to break.
“Great,” I bite out, already feeling the pressure weighing down on me that I won’t be able to be completely honest. “When does Zander finish up with his client?”
“That’s all we’re getting?” Sasha cries out, scooting around her desk and Declan to stand in front of me. Concern now settles over her features. “What was that about? Are you okay?”
“She just wanted to clear the air between us. After your wedding, she didn’t want things to still be weird between us,” I lie.
Sasha narrows her eyes on me. Since becoming pregnant, she has been telling us all that she can detect lies now. I think it started as a way to scare Declan when he told her once that they had run out of her favorite ice cream at the grocery store. She said the baby kicked her hard, even though it was way too early for that to even happen, and that it meant he was lying. He got so freaked out that he admitted he had forgotten to even go to the store on his way home. Ever since, she has claimed her baby makes her a human lie detector.
It’s clearly not true … I think … I mean, it isn’t possible … right?
However, Sasha has had uncanny moments of being able to catch a lie. And right now, I know I haven’t been able to escape her possibly fake power.
“It just sucks knowing it’s definitely over. She said the trust I broke can’t be undone, and while she knows I didn’t intend to hurt her, I did. We’re both living with the consequences of what happened.” I sprinkle truth over my previous lie, feeling my heart crack a little more from the admission.
“Bullshit!” Sasha gasps, yanking me closer so I’m basically plastered to her side.
“It’s true! She said—”
“I know what you’re saying she said is true. I’m just saying what she said is bullshit. So you made a mistake? So what? Does she think she was dating someone who wasn’t human? If we all have to be perfect all the fucking time, then no one would be with anyone. You think I’m perfect? You think Declan is? No. But we make it fucking work and give each other a break.”
I bite my tongue on mentioning how furious she was when he forgot her ice cream. I’m certain she gave him the silent treatment for a full day over that one.
She is somewhat correct. I made a mistake. But I never would have followed through on it. There was no chance I would have ratted out Wally to his parents. It was an empty threat. And while a shit move, I never even had a chance to explain or try to redeem myself. In the end, I’m not sure if I would have deserved one in her eyes, but I would have liked the chance to fight for her and for us.
“I can see the wheels turning in your head. What are they saying?”
“They’re saying that I’m burning myself ou
t,” I eventually reply, knowing that, though Sasha is saying something true, she also isn’t going to let this go unless I can tell her something to get her off my back. And if I am to look into things for Scarlett, I need to not have Sasha breathing down my neck.
“You are?” She sounds shocked before resolve settles over her. “You are.” She sounds surer now, not surprising since she has been saying this for months. “You need to slow down. We’ll have a girls’ night—”
“I don’t think those are about slowing down, so much as getting smashed.”
“Nix hasn’t been to a girls’ night in ages. He’s scared of them, and he’s usually the reason we all get passed out drunk.”
This is true. But also, a girls’ night right now would be the worst possible timing. And getting me drunk, or even tipsy, could have me spilling my newfound promise to Scarlett. I can’t risk it.
Before I have a chance to respond, Zander exits his office with his client in tow.
We step to the side, and I keep my eyes off Sasha and on Zander.
As soon as he closes the door after a hearty handshake with the businessman, I pounce.
“Zander, can I have a second of your time?”
“Of course,” he easily agrees with a nod, and I realize he’s about to settle out here to hear me out.
The last thing I need is Sasha listening in, so I make my way down to his office, and he thankfully follows.
“Is everything okay?” he asks when I sit down in front of his desk. He closes the door behind him and makes his way to his own seat.
“I’ve been putting in a lot of work around here lately. I’ve been helping out with cases in the field and behind the scenes,” I firstly point out, my mind racing with what I want to say and how I need it to come across.
“Yes. Are you unhappy with that? Would you like to take a step back from fieldwork?” he quickly offers, hurting me more than I let on.
Ever since I asked to move out from behind a computer screen and out into the field, I have been met with reluctance, confusion, or even laughter from Gemma.
I know I might not look physically the strongest, or have any experience leading up to this, but I am a good worker, and I am smart and resourceful. So, why do I get so much push back when asking for more responsibility? Have I still not proven myself? What will it take?
I Blackmailed Her Brother Page 5