“No. I mean, not exactly. I wondered if I can take some personal time. I don’t have any immediate cases right now, and the one I was working on with Gemma just wrapped up.”
“Of course,” he easily agrees again, but his eyes remain narrowed on me, studying me, wondering if I might be hiding something. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yes, I just have some things I need to attend to, and I haven’t taken much time off since I started working here. I know it isn’t a lot of notice, but I really need this.”
“The time off is fine. You can have as much as you like. But, why do I get the feeling you’re holding something back from me? Something didn’t happen that I need to be aware of, did it? How is everything going with Gemma?”
“Things with Gemma are fine. And I’m not holding anything back. I just need a few days—a week at most.”
He doesn’t immediately respond, and it takes every bit of my self-restraint to stop from squirming in the seat. Zander sometimes makes me feel like a student being judged by a principal.
“Okay,” he finally agrees, still not sounding his usual confident self. “If you’re sure? You know my door is always open, and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Ava is just a phone call away. If you need anything from her, I can give you both some alone time and take the kids if needs be.”
I give him a smile, knowing that everyone here hasn’t shown me an overwhelming amount of support in terms of my new career, yet they have all been supportive of me personally. They all took my back when everything imploded with Scarlett, minus Harvey who clearly just wanted to stay out of it. I have moved houses twice since I started working at J.P.I., and each time, everyone gave me a hand. They’re the best chosen family I could have ever hoped for.
“Thank you, Zander. I appreciate that. But I promise everything is fine.”
He nods, standing to walk me out of the office. “Let me know when you’re ready to come back.”
“Thank you,” I say on a relieved exhale, eager to dive into the new case and figure out just what the hell is going on.
***
After packing up my things and promising to call Sasha every day, I make it home and don’t delay what I need to do. Opening up Scarlett’s email, I read it through twice so the information is able to sink in.
My best source of information is the police report I gain access to through the lead detective’s, Tony Tibbett, home computer. It’s much easier to hack an individual computer than an entire network, such as the CPD system. Jerry could do that without breaking a sweat, but I don’t want him involved.
The detective has attached his own notes on the case. I immerse myself in what Wally has landed himself point blank in the middle of.
The man he is testifying against is Manuel Sanchez, a man who took over the family business when his father was gunned down five years ago. At the youthful age of eighteen, he has not only been successful in continuing his father’s work but is accused of expanding into buying and selling weapons.
Five years on, he is in the unofficial top ten of many police most wanted lists. He might be considered a nonviolent criminal in terms of straight-out murder, but the drugs and weapons he sells has had a huge effect on overall crime and deaths in the community. Not only that, but when he first took over from his father, it is alleged he did use violence and murder as a way of keeping control over his father’s empire. So, he’s either been very careful in the years since or he has changed his tune. Then again, once a killer always a killer, in my opinion.
I spend hours finding out what I can about the man and the people associated with him. If he has set someone on Scarlett and her parents, there is an endless amount of goons ready to step up and take those orders.
I feel overwhelmed by taking this case on by myself. I know, even having the resource of everyone at work on this, it would still make this case a huge one for us. But I promised Scarlett, so I have to do this on my own.
By the time I come back from my focused research, I realize half a day has passed and I have several messages and missed calls from Ava and Teagan.
It’s obvious Sasha has made the rounds and informed them of my abrupt decision to take some time off work.
I read their concerned messages and think about how to respond in a way that will appease their worrying while also stating I need some time alone. The last thing I want is for them to think they need to fill my time off by keeping me company.
I don’t like lying to my friends, and while I will do what I must in order to help Scarlett, that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
I messed up with Scarlett before by using information she told me in confidence against her brother, so I will do my best to stick to her wishes and keep this on the down-low. However, I’m not going to screw up when it comes to her safety. She can hate me all she wants, so long as she is alive and breathing.
I shoot the girls a group text message, stating that I fell asleep and lost track of time. I reiterate that I am well and will be spending tomorrow with my mom, but I will let them know when I’m free for a catch up. I won’t be able to arrange that until after I know Scarlett is safe.
Grabbing a quick sandwich and taking a bottle of water out of the fridge, I leave my house and take the once familiar drive to her apartment, only to belatedly recall that she mentioned she had moved.
I never looked her address up, but I do so now, frowning when I see it’s in a less than stellar neighborhood.
When I park outside her house, I see it’s a rundown home that looks neglected and overrun by the front garden.
I have no idea why Scarlett would rent a house here, but tomorrow, when I have another chat to her, I intend to ask.
Nerves and, sadly enough, some excitement build at the knowledge that I will be speaking with her again soon.
I should just let her go. She isn’t interested in more, and I can’t blame her.
When my phone vibrates, I pull it out of my console to see an unknown caller. Not knowing if this is a personal, business, or Sasha giving out my number again, I answer hesitantly. “Hi, this is Cynthia.”
“Why are you sitting outside my house like a creep?” Scarlett demands.
I sigh in relief that it isn’t a setup call. I really need to have a word with Sasha about not handing out my number to random women. A new woman in my life is not going to erase the hurt that the last one left behind.
“You asked me to look into if you were being watched. I wanted to see if I noticed anything suspicious happening at your home,” I explain, glancing around my surroundings again to find nothing has changed since the last time I surveyed the area.
“But it feels weird to have you sitting outside. Are you going to be there all night?”
“For most of it, yes.”
She sighs heavily. I would give anything to feel that breath against my skin again.
“Just come inside then. I have a moderately comfortable couch you can sleep on.”
My heart thuds in my chest, unsure if this offer could mean Scarlett’s anger is thawing or just proof that she is a kind and generous person.
“It’s better if I stay out here.” In more ways than one, I think to myself.
Scarlett might be willing to write me off, and maybe she has moved on, as painful as that is to think about, but I certainly haven’t. And staying in her house, even if it is on the couch and just for one night, has heartbreak written all over it. It’s a huge temptation, especially when it logically makes more sense for me to stay where I am.
“Why?” she asks. I am certain that I’m imagining the disappointment in her voice.
“Because I have a better view of the street in my car.” And because I won’t be tempted by having a sleeping Scarlett only one room away.
I wonder if she still sleeps naked.
No, no, I don’t wonder that! Abort thought! Abort!
“Oh, right.” Again, I think I hear disappointment. Should I push? Or let it go? “Well, do you need anyt
hing? I can make you a coffee or get you a snack …”
“No, I’m fine.”
Another rule I learned from Gemma is to avoid snacking or drinking as much as possible when on a stakeout. I bring a bottle of water and only take small sips when I am truly thirsty. It works better and means I don’t have to face another embarrassing moment like the one when Gemma told me to squat by a tree and do my business. I was certain I was going to get freezer burn on my ass when I inevitably fell.
“Okay. If you need to use the bathroom, just knock on my door and—”
“I’ll be fine. It’s getting late,” I point out, feeling a smile touch my lips at her kind offers. Surely you wouldn’t offer those things to someone you still hate, right?
“You know I’m a night owl.”
I grin, recalling not a single time while we dated when she fell asleep before me. “Yes, I remember.”
“How do you manage to stay up all night? When we were dating, half the time you fell asleep before even the late-night shows.”
I chuckle, falling back into the familiarity of this conversation since this was something she mentioned many times when we were dating. “I believe there were a few exceptions to get me to stay awake.”
“Right. Booze, food, or sex.” I hear the eye roll in her voice, as well as get the sense she is smiling into her phone.
“I was always partial to a good snuggle and chat.”
Scarlett snorts, a laugh booming through the phone shortly afterward. “Only because it almost always led to sex!”
“Not always,” I defend myself. “Besides, now I can stay awake all night without any of those things.”
“Sounds fun,” she quips, but then her voice softens with her next words. “How are you liking your new position?”
“Being a P.I.?”
“Yeah.”
I give myself some time to think of my answer. It has been a while since I have reassessed my thoughts on it. I was only a handful of weeks into my new position when we broke up. Now I have had months to gather my thoughts and know if I made the right choice.
“It’s everything I hoped it would be. I love it. I love getting outside, being sneaky and nosy, problem solving in a real-world context, and having to think on my feet. Sure, there are some parts I could do without. Sitting out in the snow all night isn’t my favorite, and the few times I have managed to get stranded in the snow didn’t rate too highly for me. Gemma isn’t exactly much of a talker. But overall, I think I made the best decision.” Even if it did cost me my relationship with Scarlett.
“You’re still working with Gemma?”
“Yeah, most of the cases we work on together. I’m not sure how long Zander is going to leave me on my training wheels, but I have to admit that I have learned a lot from her.”
Scarlett is quiet for a moment, and I wonder if I might have bored her to sleep. Not many people think my job is all that exciting once you get down to the nitty gritty.
“You know, at the wedding, when I saw you and Gemma together, I thought maybe you guys seemed close. I asked Conner if he thought you were together, and he couldn’t stop laughing.”
I think back and remember that exact moment. I thought it proved she wasn’t affected by me, but maybe I was wrong.
“Gemma and I are just coworkers. She doesn’t even call me by my first name,” I say, although a nagging feeling eats at me that I never admitted to Scarlett that Gemma and I kissed.
Is it something Scarlett should know? She’s made it clear that we’re not getting back together, so what does it help her knowing now?
But, what if we can salvage what we had? What if this becomes something new that will destroy us later?
“What does she call you?”
“Park. That is, if we’re talking. Most of the time is spent in silence when I’m working with her.”
“And you’re sure you enjoy this?” she asks in disbelief.
Recalling how her and Nix used to bicker at the restaurant most of their shifts, I imagine working in silence would seem foreign and boring to her.
“I don’t know why, but I find it calming to sit in silence. I can think easier when I feel alone.”
“I can only sit in silence if I’m reading or trying to fall asleep. Otherwise, I need noise. Silence is boring.”
I’m not sure I agree, although I never had a problem with Scarlett’s noise. Her laugher, her voice, her clatter always calmed me. And excited me. I always felt alive when I was with her.
“She kissed me once,” I blurt out, holding my breath as I wait to see what reaction I will receive.
“Who? Gemma?” Scarlett gasps, her tone unreadable.
“Yeah, when we went undercover, pretending to be a couple. It was the day that … with your brother …” I trail off, feeling sick with the thought that I just made a huge mistake mentioning it.
“Oh, wow. I … I’m not sure how I feel about that.” Her voice is small, and I think maybe there is hurt in her tone.
Shit, I should have kept my mouth shut.
I look down at my bracelet, touching the two charms that I can’t quite see in the dark, hoping I haven’t just made another mistake.
“I wasn’t expecting it,” I tell her, hating the long silence that follows.
“How was it? Did you like it?”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. She’s still talking, and there is no yelling. That has to be a good sign.
“Honestly? I don’t even know. I was too shocked at the time to feel much of anything. I basically fell through the door I was trying to open. I don’t even know if she felt anything from it. From the way she acted, she might as well have been kissing a wall.”
“Have you …? Have you guys kissed again since?”
“No!” I gasp, almost laughing, although the situation doesn’t warrant it. “I mean, I’ve never wanted to do that with her, and I get the feeling she couldn’t care less about me. I’m not saying she’s not into women, because I don’t know her well enough to get even a grasp on what her thing is, but she’s definitely never looked at me twice, and I feel the same. I would say we’re just friends, but we’re not even that.”
I stare at the quiet house, wishing I could see Scarlett’s face to know how she is truly taking this confession.
“I was always a little unsure of Gemma,” she admits.
“I think we all are. Zander likes her. Or, at least he likes the work she does. She works herself to the bone to make sure she can give her sister whatever she needs. If she’s not out working a case, then she is at home with her.”
There is another stretch of silence. I’m not sure if it’s because Scarlett is over this conversation, or if maybe we’ve been disconnected. I even pull my phone away from my ear to check if she’s still there. Before I can call out her name, though, she makes a confession that jumpstarts my heart into overdrive.
“I don’t like that you guys kissed.”
“It was a peck, really. But I felt bad about it. That was another thing I was supposed to talk to you about, supposed to apologize for,” I squeak out, trying to internally bitch-slap the hope wanting to build inside me.
Overthinking words on a late-night phone call is a sure way to get my heart rebroken.
“Have you had to do that kind of stuff since? Like, be undercover?”
“I’ve had to lie to get what I need; make up something on the fly. But I’ve never had to be physical like I was on that day. If Zander knew what we’d done, I don’t think he would be thrilled. He would say a job is never worth putting yourself in a position like that. And I know he’s right.”
Losing Scarlett all for a job wasn’t right, either.
“I’m glad you are enjoying your new position. I’m not sure I ever heard you sound this way about your old job.”
“I’m happy that I made the change. I made the wrong call that day, but I made the right call switching jobs.” Not that I have given my other job up. I need to, though. Jerry has been
picking up my slack when I find myself swamped. That isn’t fair to him. I did like the safety net of having both jobs, but now I’m just using it as an excuse to stop myself from realizing how lonely I am.
Maybe Sasha is right. Maybe I need to take a step back. I need stop running myself into the ground and live a little.
“I knew you would be brilliant at it,” she admits, her declaration making my heart flutter, my breath catch, and tears to well in my eyes.
While all my other friends and my parents wanted to know why the hell I wanted to change professions and thought I wasn’t suited for it, Scarlett always believed in me.
When I first told her what I wanted to do, I was nervous she would laugh in my face. I was already feeling doubts over how Zander and the girls had reacted with just me hinting at it. But she just smiled, gave me a hug, and said I would make a great P.I.. Then, after supportively nudging me to not be afraid and make my dream a reality, she asked if I would get a pipe, a large magnifying glass, and the deerstalker hat that Sherlock Holmes is famous for in my welcoming packet from Zander.
That was it. No doubts, no worrying. Just complete faith in me.
I didn’t realize how precious that was until now.
“Thanks,” I manage to croak out then cough in hopes of hiding the emotion leaking out of my voice. “How are things going at the restaurant?”
“Good,” she excitedly exclaims, and I hear her passion in every word she rushes out. “Everything is really coming together. It has been so much fun redesigning everything, and Nix basically leaves the decorating to me, which is awesome.”
“I would have thought he would be more of a control freak about that kind of thing.”
“I know! Same. I think it’s because he has Harvey. Before, all he had to focus on was the restaurant, but now he’s getting regular orgasms. They’re enjoying as much alone time as they can before the restaurant opens.”
I chuckle, recalling the many times Sasha riled Harvey up at work over him wearing an uncharacteristic smile on his lips, or the few times we even caught him whistling!
I Blackmailed Her Brother Page 6