Firsts: Book One’s

by Moore, Portia

  I am a terrible liar and I’m even worse at keeping secrets, but I’ve had to. Well, not had to, it just works out better this way. The truth is that Michael and I have been on six non-dates since the night after my housewarming party, which was three weeks ago. I hate lying to my friends and keeping things from them but I know what they’ll say and I just don’t want to hear it right now. Besides, I have to admit it’s sort of exciting. Michael has grown on me, his smart alec attitude and no-holds-barred humor is so different than what I’ve experienced and when we’re making out, it’s on a different level than Daniel and I were ever on. It’s heated and each time it’s gotten harder to stop.

  Tonight it’s Wednesday, a relatively slow night at The Vault. Angie’s off and it’s me, Tori, Trish, Carly, and Steven on shift tonight.

  “It’s pretty dead in here, huh?” Steven asks, leaning on his elbow. I nod in agreement.

  “Maybe Ryan will let you go home early.”

  “You trying to get rid of me?” I tease him.

  “Never.” He laughs, flashing his brilliant smile at me.

  “I’ve made such sucky money tonight,” Carly whines before joining us in our sulk session. He reaches over and runs his hands through her mop of long curly hair before stealing a kiss from her.

  They’re so cute it’s almost ridiculous.

  Turns out Michael was right. Carly made her move that night. I guess she just needed a threat to do so. She apologized the next day to me and wanted to make sure I was okay with it. I thought it was sweet of her even though it was a super awkward conversation.

  They remind me of Zach and Jessie on Saved By The Bell. I’m only a tad bit envious of them. I like having a secret only me and one other person knows. It’s exciting but I wish we could display our affection like they are. Though technically, they shouldn’t be since no one is supposed to date each other here.

  Also, that’s exclusively couple affection; me and Michael are not a couple. We’re not even dating, we’re… I’m not entirely sure what it is, but it’s fun and I’ll take it for now. I head down to the employee breakroom to give them their privacy. I want to freshen up my makeup anyway in case we end up getting a rush, though it was unlikely. I slip off my shoes and put them in my hand as soon as I cross the threshold and I break out into a smile when I see Michael sitting at the table with two subway sandwiches. He wasn’t supposed to work tonight, so seeing him is a surprise. That he has food is a bonus.

  “Hungry?” he asks, wearing a disarming smile.

  “Always,” I answer back.

  “If you keep feeding me like this, I’m going to start to expect it,” I tease him, finishing the last of my cold cut sandwich. It’s my favorite. He knows this now since I told him on our last non-date at the park, where we ate when I had some time between two of my classes.

  “Maybe you should expect dinner Friday night at Maestro’s. I’ll pick you up at seven,” he says so smoothly, I would have taken it as one of his jokes, but when I see his expression is serious, I stop chewing.

  “Maestro’s, is that the steakhouse?” I ask him, confused. He nods with a wide smile.

  “That sounds an awful lot like a date, doesn’t it?”

  He reaches across the table and pulls my hand into his.

  “Yes the kind normal people go on, where I pick you up and pay for the food and leave the tip and kiss you goodnight and…” I like how he leaves room for whatever I want but a date, date. That’s different, it’s flattering but a little scary. He must notice my apprehension because his beautiful face slightly wrinkles up.

  “I just thought. We were… having fun,” I say quietly. He stiffens a little.

  “I’m pretty sure we can have fun on a date. Also, when most people say they’re having fun, they mean they’re fucking. And we’re not.”

  I frown at him when he says this.

  “Is that what this is about? You take me on a fancy date so I can put out?” I stand up, completely offended.

  “You are one of the most frustrating women I’ve ever met,” he groans with a laugh, making a long stride towards me. I turn around to leave but he grabs my arm and pulls me to him.

  “I want to take you on a date because I like you.” He’s behind me, arms wrapped around my stomach, kissing my neck. “And I don’t want another jerk asking you out here because they think there isn’t an us.” He turns me around to face him and his smile is softer.

  “So you’re jealous?” I ask him, dialing down my indignation a few notches.

  “Let’s just say, it’s getting hard watching so many dudes hit on you and not having a say at all.”

  “Well it’d take more than a date for you to be able to get in a guy’s face and stake your claim on me.” I’m laughing now and there’s the lightest red tinge to his cheek.

  “A date, a real official one is a start, right?” he asks, his arms now snaking around my waist.

  “Maybe,” I say breathlessly as he pulls me up so we’re at eye level, which isn’t nearly as difficult since I’m in five-inch heels today. He dips his head down and pulls me into a kiss. It’s slow and unhurried, but aggressive and longing all at once.

  “Sorry!” I freeze. This time it’s not Carly who intrudes, and thank God it’s not Ryan, but it’s the next worst thing—Steven! Michael puts me down but his arms are still around me as I turn to see Steven standing behind me, eyes wide with a hint of confusion, and I want to say even a little disappointment on his face. I give Michael a nudge to let me go. He does so almost begrudgingly.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Ryan wants Lauren,” he says, barely looking me in the eye. His stare is hard on Michael, who is the only one who doesn’t appear embarrassed by this. A part of me had thought he had dropped a hint to Steven about whatever it is we had been doing, but from the shock on Steven’s face, I take it he really did keep our secret.

  “Thank you,” I say sheepishly. Steven disappears as quickly as he came. There’s a tension in the air when he leaves.

  “Sorry,” Michael says, but his expression looks anything but apologetic. I scowl at him.

  “What?” he asks innocently.

  “Nothing,” I groan. Of course he doesn’t see anything wrong with just happened. I guess theoretically there was nothing wrong with what happened. We’re all adults and Steven is happy with Carly, but I wish I would have been able to say something, or that he had said something. I can’t help but feel embarrassed as I make my way to Ryan’s office.

  “Lauren, luv, come join me,” Ryan says, a slight smirk on his face, gesturing for me to come in quickly.

  “Steven says said you wanted to see me?” I take a few steps forward.

  “You, my dear, have made me a lot of money,” he says animatedly. I can’t fight my proud smile. I’ve really worked my butt off and it’s nice that he’s noticed. Even better if his compliment comes with a bonus.

  “Thank you, Ryan.”

  “And I know the girls say all kinds of fantastic things about me, but when you do good work, I do good for you!”

  I look at him curiously, wondering where this is going.

  “You’re getting an upgrade.”

  “An upgrade to what?” I ask, excited but confused.

  “Bottle service,” he reveals with a wide grin, and mine immediately mimics his. Bottle service! That’s what Angie does. It’d be double the money I make now!

  “Are you serious?” I ask, trying to cautiously contain my enthusiasm.

  “I am, doll!” I’m so happy I run over and hug him. “Alright, alright, you know how to thank me. Make me lots of money, luv.”

  “I will! I promise!” I say excitedly. I head out the door but stop before I leave.

  “What made you choose me?” I ask. I thought money-wise Tori brought in more money with her regulars, and she’d be next in line based on seniority alone.

  “Steven, my eyes and ears. He says you’re great. You’re friendly but always professional. I have a lot of pretty girls that sell for
me but they cross the line of professionalism more than I’d like them to. He says you don’t. I appreciate that.”

  My smile drops instantly, along with the cloud of guilt that rains down on my parade.

  “Oh. Okay. Thank you, Ryan.”

  I have to find Steven and thank him, as well as explain. Not that I know what I’d be explaining exactly. I head back up to the main area of the club and see Steven’s not at the bar; Michael has stepped in for him. I’ve never worked with Michael as the bartender before, but he looks more than comfortable pouring drinks as if it’s second nature. What’s also second nature is the way he’s smiling and flirting with the two girls he’s serving. I feel my chest start to burn as I watch him. The way the tall blonde looks like she’s ready to flash him, and how he’s looking at her like he’s ready for her to at any moment.

  I’m exaggerating. She’s drinking and of course flirty, and Michael is beautiful and charming. It’s his job. Bartenders flirt and should be good at it. I flirt sometimes with the guys here, it’s no big deal. But I can’t help wanting to go and tell him to stop doing such a good job at it. I wonder if this is how he feels when he sees me do it with guys.

  “Hey.” I turn to see Steven wearing a small sad smile. “I just talked to Ryan. I’m going to be a bottle girl… I owe you some thanks for that,” I say with a small shrug.

  “No, it’s all you. You’re great. I mean, you do a great job,” he replies, sounding as awkward as I feel.

  “Can we talk?” I ask him, and he nods towards the storage room. I follow behind him.

  “I’m sorry about earlier,” I say as soon as we’re alone.

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry for Lauren. I was just, I didn’t know.” I look away from him, feeling guilty.

  “Are you mad at me?” I ask, hoping that he isn’t. I know things didn’t turn out how I thought they would or how he wanted, but this past month I’ve really enjoyed his friendship.

  “No. How could I be? A part of me is disappointed but no, I’m not mad. I can’t be mad at you or Mike. I guess things turned out how they were supposed to.” He says this with a smile but his eyes aren’t as bright as they usually are. I hug my elbows, ignoring the what if that tries to capture my thoughts. What if Carly hadn’t walked in that night?

  “I just don’t want you to get hurt. Mike’s my best friend and he’s a great guy but he’s not exactly the best when it comes to relationships.” I swallow hard.

  “What do you mean?” I ask hesitantly.

  “He likes you, I can tell. I didn’t know it was you per se.” He chuckles, running his hand through his hair, letting out a sad sigh. “It’s just sometimes old patterns are hard to break, and he has a pretty set pattern.”

  I frown. Thinking of him and how good he was up there with the girls at the bar.

  “Listen, Lauren,” he says stepping closer towards me. “I know that you’ve been hurt in the pa—”

  I cut him off before he can finish his sentence. “Excuse me? How the hell would you know that?” Steven’s face clouds with confusion, and he realizes he’s said something he shouldn’t have.

  “That night when you came to The Vault for your birthday,” Steven explains, even though it was obvious that he doesn’t want to. “Angie told me that she wanted to set me up with you. But she said that she wouldn’t if I didn’t think I could treat you right. She told me that you had sworn off men for a long time because of what your ex did to you.”

  Why did she do that? That was my story to share, not hers. Especially considering that I didn’t want to be set up with anyone in the first place.

  “I can’t believe her!” I cover my face in embarrassment. “Who else knows how stupid I used to be?” I ask in disbelief.

  “No one! And you’re not stupid. She was only trying to help. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he mutters. I’m about to say something else when we hear voices approaching the storage room; it’s Tori and Trish.

  “He is so hot, panty-dropping-in-the-bathroom hot. I didn't even make him buy me a drink, hot.”

  “So let me get this straight, you gave a guy your number who didn't even ask for it, and who didn’t buy you a drink? The guy must be hot because he's melted your brain. Girl, what are you thinking?”

  Steven and I both look at each other, knowing this isn’t the time to continue the conversation.

  "Of my legs wrapped around all six feet of him,” Tori squeals.

  “What’s Prince Charming’s name?”

  “Cal, and did I mention he’s loaded?” Tori exclaims as her and Trish walk in. The energy is tense and they notice it immediately, glancing between us.

  “What’s up guys?” Trish asks suggestively.

  “Nothing.” I say shortly before leaving. The rest of the night is tense. The energy between us girls since the news has spread that Ryan’s promoted me to bottle girl is bad. Trish, who usually ignores me unless it suits her, is outwardly nasty tonight, and Tori keeps glaring at me like my head is on fire. Carly is a little cold but still friendly. I’m avoiding Steven, and Michael has been earning every one of his tips by schmoozing, flirting, and ogling every female customer near him. When the shift is over I shoot out without saying goodbye to anyone.

  Tonight should be a celebration. I should be ecstatic. Once I start bottle service I’ll be making three times the money I am now. Michael wants to take me on an actual date and not just fool around. I don’t have to worry about hiding it from Steven anymore, but instead I feel awful. I go to Angie’s place instead of mine. I need to talk to her and find out why the hell she told Steven about me and Daniel before I even met him.

  Nine

  “What’s up hon?” Angie asks happily through a yawn, until she sees my frown. “Is something wrong?”

  “Steven told me that you told him all about Daniel before I even met him.”

  “That’s what this is all about?” she clarifies, the confusion evident in her voice. Maybe this sounds silly to her, but it isn’t to me. I’m upset, for more than one reason, but this is the biggest. I don’t think I have ever been upset with Angie in the two years that we’ve been friends. She’s been such a great friend to me. Always leading me in the right direction.

  “Yes,” I said. “I’m not a kid. You may be older and more experienced but you can’t make decisions for me like this. It should have been my decision to share that part about myself. Especially considering that I didn’t want you to set me up at all.”

  We’re on separate sides of the couch, surrounded by awkward silence. This is the first fight we’ve had ever had. It’s uncharted and unwelcome territory in our friendship.

  Finally, Angie sighs. “You’re right. I didn’t see it that way originally, but you’re right. I just never want you to go through something like that ever again. I should’ve thought about how you would feel about it. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I say, and she gives me a bear hug.

  “I have some good news,” I tell her, and she smiles expectantly.

  “Starting next week I’ll be working bottle service.”

  “What? That’s awesome!” she yelps. “Trish and Tori and going to freak! You just found out today?”

  “Yeah. Ryan said his final decision was based off of a recommendation from Steven,” I admit guiltily.

  She eyes me worriedly. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

  “He told Ryan I was the best choice for the job because of my boundaries between my personal life and work,” I utter quietly, my eyes glued to my lap.

  “He’s right. You put work even before what you may have had with him,” she says, giving me an encouraging squeeze. Now I really feel guilty.

  “That was right before he found me and Michael about to make out in the breakroom.”

  “Wait. What?” she screeches, confused. I rub my face with one hand in frustration.

  I fess up with what’s been going on for the past month and she looks completely flabbergasted. She remains quiet through the whole t
hing though, I give her that. When I’m done she lets out a long sigh.

  “You like him, huh?” she asks sullenly. I blush.

  “I do,” I confess begrudgingly, covering my face. “I didn’t expect to. He’s cocky and edgy and a supreme flirt but he also makes me laugh, and is sweet to me even with the hard time I gave him. He’s so different than the person I thought I’d want, but I do want him,” I admit to her and myself.

  “I was jealous today, seeing him talk to those girls at the club. I don’t want to share him.” I grimace. Angie runs her hand across her smooth deep skin.

  “The thing with Michael is… he’s just…” She’s trying to find the right words to censor herself for me, and I appreciate it, but I would like her honest opinion. I nod for her to go on.

  “Mike hasn’t had a girlfriend since I’ve known him. He’s a sweetheart but he’s always sort of been a whore,” she mentions timidly. My stomach tightens.

  “Not to say that he’d be with you. If he’s wanting to take you on a real date and give you guys a shot, I mean that’s more than I thought he’d offer. I don’t know the future, I only know his past but to be 100 percent honest, if we go by that, I’d tell you to run the other way.”

  My heart drops. I wanted honesty and she’s giving it to me, and I’ll take it like a big girl. “But sometimes it only takes the right girl, and as my friend, why wouldn’t it be someone amazing like you?” Angie gives my hand a squeeze and I give her a big hug. She really is a great friend, giving the right dose of honesty with a side of sweetness.

  “But don’t let Ryan find out. He may be able to bang his employees but he doesn’t want anyone else doing it.”

  “I’m not banging him,” I tell her playfully.

  “Yet,” she adds with a lively nudge.

  Angie and I talk for another half an hour before she kicks me out. She has an early class tomorrow and I’m pretty beat as well. I decide to call Michael in the morning and let him know I’ll accept his date, but I’m shocked when I see him walking to my doorstep just as I pull up to the door.